You can’t scroll through Instagram without hearing Miley Cyrus’s new song Flowers in all the latest REELS. This song has hit a cord for me, not in an angry man-hating way, but in an empowered healthy way.  

It definitely runs on repeat in my head. I’m singing it in the shower, while I’m doing dishes and humming it at random times.

I don’t want Jeff to get the wrong idea, but I love singing it.

I went down a rabbit hole reading tabloid articles about why Miley wrote the song.  Many say it was in response to her failed marriage or a comeback to Bruno Mar’s song When I Was Your Man.  

Either way, it doesn’t explain why it hit a cord with me.  

What’s wrong with me?

I hate to admit this, but I used to make Jeff responsible for my emotions.  I constantly needed to feel connected, to be entertained and affirmed.  At the root, I had a gut feeling that I was not lovable.  Wow!  That’s a heavy load for Jeff to carry.  

Yeah, I love it when sweet Jeff brings me flowers.  But if he doesn’t show up with the flowers, I don’t make it mean that there is something wrong with me.  

Of course we need relationships

Love and connection are two of the six basic human needs.  

However, you may feel miserable if you’re thinking…

If only my husband would (fill in the blank)

My children don’t (fill in the blank)

No one sees what I do for them.

You might not want to hear this, but we never really show up in ways that are easy to be around when we have thoughts that make us feel sad, lonely or miserable,

Maybe you just want a hug, but it’s hard to hug a prickly cactus.  

The relationship that changed

Miley’s song is a celebration for me.  

My relationship with myself changed, and has made my relationship with Jeff incredible.  

For the first time in my life I am comfortable in my own skin, know at a deep level that my life has meaning and understand what’s going on internally when I’m upset. 

Jeff’s no longer responsible for that heavy load.  

Now, I can buy myself flowers just because it makes me smile.  I have dance parties in my kitchen when no ones looking and spend hours journaling in an attempt to understand myself.  I actually love my own company now.  

That shift is SO empowering!  

Buy yourself flowers

So, how do you shift?

I work with clients all the time who are not even aware of the beliefs that are dictating how they show up in relationships.  

If you are tired of feeling lonely, unappreciated, unlovable (or any combination of emotions), I would love to help you.  

Once you shift from feeling like a victim to becoming empowered, Miley’s song will hit a new cord for you too.  

You will want to buy yourself flowers!  Write your name in the sand…talk to yourself for hours… 

You will take yourself dancing because YOU can love YOU better…. And you should.

Here’s to celebrating YOU!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky