Funky Lockdown

Posted on May 4, 2020 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, Life Coach Creating YOUR vision for midlife wellness. Helping you get out of a lockdown funk.

Funky Lockdown ~ Getting out of a funk!

Have you found yourself in a lockdown funk? In your attempt to NOT shut down during lockdown you managed media input and discovered new things about yourself, but your limits have been severely tested. So, you spend a day in a funk allowing the feelings to well up.

Is this your story? It was mine last Friday.

I had a low energy day after receiving news that our trip to Ohio would be postponed again because the stay at home order for Ohio was extended through the end of May. I won’t tell you what I thought about that. Feelings of deep sadness turned to anger as the day progressed. I was in a funk.

It is healthy to fully experience all the feels and then release them. It is detrimental to stuff emotions. I love Dr. Christiane Norhrup’s take on feelings…

“The crying will stop when it needs to stop. I have the strength to tolerate my strong emotions.” Dr. Northrup

Do you believe in coincidences?

In the book, Goddesses Never Age, Dr. Christiane Northrup, M.D. speaks to my soul! It is no coincidence that this week my friend Dawn and I happen to be reading Chapter 2: Goddesses Know The Power Of Pleasure.

By Friday evening I knew that I needed to get out of the funk! It simply is not good for my sense of well being. Luckily, I had tools! I self coached myself and then worked on finding some much needed pleasure.

Here are three simple steps you can take to get out of a lockdown funk.

Make a list

I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.” ~Kurt Vonnegut

Are you aware of what brings you pleasure?

Dr. Northrup’s prescription for general health is to experience more pleasure every day. She suggests an activity that I practice daily. Take a minute every day to list as many joyful activities and experiences that you can. Think big and small experiences.

This list can be helpful in getting out of a funk, and could guide you in finding what your soul longs for. As I became more aware of what gives me pleasure (and what does not), I was surprised by what I discovered.

Phone a friend

Dr. Northrup calls these friends Wingwomen. I love that!

Good friends will point you to a healthy mindset, while allowing you to feel your emotions.

On Friday I enlisted the help from a life coach from my certification class and my book club friend. I also had several dear friends reach out to me for encouragement. It felt like a lifeline.

Who are your Wingwomen?

Take action

Saturday morning I woke up with the thought, “this is a new day.” I knew I had a choice to make it a good day or wallow in my grief. Fortunately, Jeff was on board with a day of fun!

Saturday was a beautiful sunny day, nearly perfect with a cool breeze. Jeff and I rode our bikes to Round Top (thirty miles round trip). While in Round Top, we had coffee at Royers Pie Haven and ate hamburgers at Popi Burgers. During lunch we FaceTimed with our daughter and grandson (fill my cup). We then went to Brenham to see what shops had opened. I bought a new dress at The Canyon Chic and then visited a newly opened Brazos Valley Brewing Co that happened to have live music (heaven). We took crawfish home for a backyard picnic. I washed our 48 Ford Maggie and took her for a drive in the country. After dinner I could barely keep my eyes open. I fell into bed extremely happy.

“Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.” ~Martin Luther

Discover what fills your pleasure journal

I’m not thankful for the funk, but it did teach me the importance of the pleasure journal. Taking a day to experience as much pleasure as possible got me out of a funk.

When you discover what fills your pleasure journal, taking action is very simple.

If you feel stuck in a funk, I can help! I’ve been trained to identify thoughts that are creating unwanted feelings. Curious? I offer a free mini session. I’d love to chat with you!

Click the link below to schedule your FREE MINI SESSION!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “Yes” in the sky!

Busting Midlife Myths

Posted on April 27, 2020 by tiffany

Are you ready to bust Midlife Myths?

Could it be possible that you have accepted common midlife myths as reality?

For instance, have you accepted the message that your fighting a loosing battle with age when you reach fifty years? What if you were actually entering into the best season of your life filled with abundant wellness?

I am a cockeyed optimist who wants her tomb to read, “Here lies Tiffany Ann Eckhardt. Her death found her living with uncommon energy.”

I do not subscribe to rainbows or unicorns, but have learned tools that allow me to fully function through life’s 50/50. I am convinced it is possible to create a life that includes abundant wellness and the realization of dreams at any age.

So what gets in your way?

It occurred to me the other day that there are some common midlife myths accepted as truth. What if they were simply not true?

What thoughts do you have about midlife and aging? Gathering your thoughts is a perfect place to start. I love journaling! Take a piece of paper and jot down all the thoughts that you have about midlife.

Next, take a look at the thoughts circulating in your mind that have now landed on your paper. Do you like the thoughts? Is it possible that there are limiting beliefs? Where have these thought and ideas come from?

It is widely believed that our bodies are not separated from our thoughts or emotions. This is why I preach Self-Aware is the first step to Self-Care. It is time to let go of toxic beliefs. Then frame, or reframe, what your idea of midlife is and create it!

A few midlife myths worth busting

1. Midlife means the beginning of a loosing battle with well being.

In her book Goddesses Never Age, Christiane Northrup, M.D. confirms, “physical deterioration occurs in large part because of the accumulation of toxins, which results in cellular deterioration and damage along with tissue and organ breakdown.”

Yet, she also offers that the body is in a constant state of reinvention. “You do not have to have the same physical body you had just a few years ago. Every cell has been replaced.”

I am living proof of this! In 2017 I decided to question the idea that our bodies have to fall apart in midlife. I spent three years removing toxins from my diet and home. In November 2018 I became intentional about personal growth, learning tools to manage my mind. Thanks to this work, I am not the same person I was back then.

You can achieve wellness at any age, that can carry you into the best season of your life!

2. An empty nest is boring and lonely

I heard someone say in passing, “An empty nest isn’t lonely because I am there.”

Typically women spend there lives between 20 and 40 tending to their families. Without giving it a second thought, their schedule is dictated by work and family. When their little birdies fly the coop, there is naturally a void to fill.

Although change is rarely popular, a new routine emerges from the quiet house. At this point in life, you are ready to make decisions about what your future will look like?

Unfortunately, “we believe that if something great was going to happen, it would have happened when we were 20 or 30, right? It would have happened when we were in college or when we were going to school or whatever. That’s when all the amazing things happen. But what if we’re totally wrong about that?” ~Brooke Castillo

I guarantee there are several ways to look at an empty nest. What if you discover that you really enjoy your own company and that you are actually fun?

3. Time is running out with little options

The ideas that time is running out and that there are few options to those who are of a certain age are two myths that are definably limiting beliefs, in which the focus is on what can’t be done.

I intend to bust these two myths wide open!!!! There have been too many examples of successful people who achieved greatness after the age of 40. Success leaves clues. Studying their stories encourages me to explore my own.

Does the cost of learning new skills feels indulgent? This might be the real obstacle to busting theses myths. It feels too indulgent to shift the time, the resources, to something that’s purely for you. I hear people comment that they hesitated taking a course if it cost a few thousand dollars. They have never given themselves permission to spend on themselves, let alone challenge themselves to expand their minds.

Time will run out if you indulge in self depravation. Midlife is the time to invest in childhood dreams, ideas that have took a back seat to the demands of family and what your soul longs to teach you.

The Crossroads

I am sure you have heard or even thought of a few midlife myths of your own. Maybe you are manifesting some of your beliefs, and want to pluck out them out of your story!

Are you at the crossroads, at a point in life when you are ready to make decisions about what your future will look like?

This is where I can help! Not only have I mastered the fine art of reinvention, I am a certified life coach that can help you bust the myths.

Schedule a FREE mini session today! It is my life’s work to inspire people to aspire to a life of well being! Self-aware is the first step to self-care.

What midlife myths do you wish to bust? Click the link below to schedule your FREE mini session!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach busting midlife myths

Got GRIT? Three Steps To Build GRIT

Posted on November 4, 2019 by tiffany

Got Grit? Tiffany Eckhardt shares the importance of choosing your feelings

Got Grit? Yes, of course I Got Grit!

I like to think I possess a “never give up” attitude. Yet, there are times when I bailed on my dream, have not persevered or had the passion to see a project through to the end. I believe that I have the power to choose grit and can cultivate it. In fact, I have the power to get back up from a failure and reinvent myself. I have a lifetime of proof.

Let me share with you how to build GRIT!

Did you know you can choose your feelings?

Let me share a concept that I’ve recently learned.

The human experience is a balance of the positive and the negative. Accepting this fact allows for the negative without adding to it. Time spent avoiding negative emotions and experiences, limits access to the power some negative emotions carry.

For example, courage is an honorable trait that propels us to do hard things, but is an uncomfortable emotion. The definition of Courage is – mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty. Wouldn’t it be great to be courageous in the face of obstacles without enduring fear or perseverance?

Grit is failing forward

I have been talking about failing forward the past few weeks in an attempt to make failure more acceptable. Failure is the uncomfortable balance to success and a necessary step in growth. No one wants to choose failure. Accepting it as a part of the success experience prevents adding shame, embarrassment, inadequacy, etc. to the experience.

Once this concept is understood, the choice is yours. Will you intentionally think thoughts that produce the feelings required to succeed in life? It’s worth noting that some emotions are simply negative indulgent emotions that keep us from success. Choosing confusion, doubt or worry never moves the needle. Choosing to walk through fear toward success is productive. Choosing overwhelm in the face of fear keeps you stuck. Do you see the difference?

I choose GRIT…

I have decided to become the person of my dreams. Oh my! 2020 is going to be EPIC! First of all, I turn 50 in March. I don’t hate turning 50 years young. It’s time to buckle down and do the things I’ve always dreamed of doing and being.

I made a list of emotions that I want to cultivate. I want to be tenacious, capable, genuine, authentic, connected and creative.

When I made the list of traits I think are important for my success, I realized that most of them have a negative connotation to them. I want to be tenacious. Well, that requires me to do something bold. I want to feel capable. Can’t feel capable sitting on the couch. I want to be genuine and authentic, but desperately want to fit in. I want to feel connected, but often find myself not inviting someone to coffee. Being creative, a truly positive emotion, is my happy place.

Recently I added gritty to my list of traits I want to be. In fact, I am starting to see that GRIT needs to be my word for 2020. I believe grit allows me to stay committed to the uncomfortable feelings necessary for success. Being gritty means that I will have both passion and perseverance.

What is grit?

Grit as defined by Angela Duckworth is the power of passion and perseverance.

“Our potential is one thing, what we do with it is another.” ~Angela Duckworth

Angela has spent her life studying grit. You can read more about her journey in her book GRIT The Power of Passion and Perseverance or find her TedTalk on YouTube. In her Preface she writes, “I won’t just have a job; I’ll have a calling. I’ll challenge myself every day. When I get knocked down, I’ll get back up. I may not be the smartest person in the room, but I’ll strive to be the grittiest.”

Wow! Angela personifies grit! The willingness to get back up from a blow, to work harder, to face fear, to embrace a calling… you get the idea. Fail forward.

Will Smith explains grit this way,

“The only thing that I see is distinctly different about me is: I’m not afraid to die on the treadmill. I will not be outworked, period. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me. You might be all those things. You got it on me in nine categories. But if we get on the treadmill together, there’s two things: You’re getting off first, or I’m going to die. It’s really that simple.”

Angela breaks grit down two factors, passion and perseverance. “Grit is about working on something you care about so much you’re willing to stay loyal to it.” There are no shortcuts. It’s about falling in love with what you do and staying in love with it.

Train your mind for grit

Three steps to build GRIT… choose your feelings

Can you see yourself choosing grit? It is very similar to choosing to fail forward.

I’m not suggesting that everyone should choose grit.

I am suggesting that being intentional about how you want to show up in life is crucial to your results. I am offering that you have the power to choose.

Start by deciding the feelings you want to foster and becoming self aware.

1.Choose the positive feelings and the negative feelings necessary to succeed in what ever you set your heart.

2. Keep a log of the thoughts that generate those feelings. There is always a thought that produces the feeling. It is also beneficial to document the thoughts that keep you in a negative indulgent emotion like confusion, worry, or anxiety.

Here is an example of mine:

Positive Feelings

Abundant
Connected
Loved
Focused
Determined

Negative Feelings

Courageous
Tenacious
Bold
Fear
Grit

3. Journal your thoughts and feelings on a daily basis. Are the feelings wanted, necessary or unwanted? What thoughts produce those feelings? Are there areas in your life that you can choose to think differently about? Try on new thoughts. How does the new thoughts make you feel? This simple activity will open up so much insight!

What do you choose?

Let me encourage you to become the person of your dreams. You may not choose grit, but you have the power to be gritty in choosing the feelings that will produce the life you always wanted!

I am excited to bring you along on my journey! Becoming a certified life coach is the most rewarding work I’ve done! I’d love to help you take hold of the thoughts, to help you decide what is servicing you. Schedule a FREE consultation to see if I’m a right fit for your journey! It really does help to talk through the thoughts that produce the feelings, that cause action and give results in your life!