Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead. Learn how to turn an "F' It" moment into a moment of hope!

Are you willing to vulnerably admit that at times of frustration you just want to say “F’ it”? Yes, I admit that I use the F word on occasion.

For instance, I might say it prior to the third glass of wine, or finishing the cake after the kids went to bed. Does this happen to just me?

“She realized that vulnerability was easier to wear than vanity. So she stripped straight down to nothing. And set herself free.” ~ Cara Alwill Leyba

This week I spent time wondering why the “F’ it” moments happen.

My F’ It Moment

Recently, at a point when my dreams seem to be on the horizon but still so far out of reach, I had a major “F ’it” moment.

I had planned my eating protocol for the day. I knew I’d be meeting friends at my favorite winery, so I planned one glass of wine. (famously naive) At the winery, I had my planned glass of wine and then bought a bottle to take home. When I got home my plans got railroaded, as if I can blame it on the circumstances, and proceeded to drink the bottle too. The moment I opened the bottle I recall saying to myself, “Fuck it!” (not abbreviated)

The real reason I had a “F’ it” moment was not my evening circumstances. Frankly, the real reason I felt the need to “F’ it” was my unrealized dreams weighing heavy on my heart ALL DAY.

The next morning I awoke with the guilt of not honoring my planned protocol, and the familiar shame storm.

I wrote in my journal: I can’t seem to catch a mystic break. God, I’m trusting you. Please lead me to the gold-mine within.

Then I came across another poem…

Surrender

I want to breath in passion like air. I want to fill my lungs with the magic and lust and possibility only passion brings. And the feeling that is only available to you when you finally, fully, fiercely surrender. ~ Cara Alwill Leyba

Faith

The absence of evidence is NOT the evidence of its absence. Surrender to the mystery.

Surrendering is actually saying, “F’ it” in a completely different way. It is breathing in passion like air and saying to yourself, “this just might work!” What do you actually have to loose when you choose to believe notwithstanding the absence of evidence?

Faith is a powerful emotion that helps you believe your dreams are worth pursuing.

It just might work!

The first “F’ it” has no upside. It is just a familiar way to approach discouragement that leads to guilt and an inevitable shame storm. Creative solutions are impossible to discover when your energy is consumed by discouragement.

The second “F’ it” has HUGE upsides. The thought “what if it works” produces a feeling of hope and leads to massive action.

Here is what I’ve learned about hope this week:

Hope is not an accident.

You cultivated hope by allowing the mystery.

The mystery is a little voice that whispers maybe, when the whole world is shouting no.

This hope is an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.

Hope is the charged emotion that elevates your dreams.

Not forced, but ready to see crazy things happen!

What if you gave up entertaining the thoughts that cause fear and discouragement, the thoughts that lead to lack?

Have compassion on your discouraging thoughts, noticing them without guilt or shame, and then simply release them.

Surrender to the idea that it just might work, and to the mystery of uncommon creativity.

This is my life’s work.

Believing in possibilities and abundance is my super power. Even when I suffer discouragement, my will to break through will not allow me to wallow in it. I desire to cultivate a mindset that surrenders to fierce hope.

I am happy to share my journey with you in hopes that it inspires your journey. As your life coach I will help you to reclaim your life, full of dreams and visions for your best years ahead.

I’d love to work with you to develop a proper “F’ it” mindset.

If you regret a recent “F’ it” moment that produced a shame storm, I know I can help you flip it to a “it just might work” mindset. I offer a FREE mini session for those of you who are curious about life coaching.

Simply click the link below and choose a date/time that works for you! It just might work!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Flown The Coop is dedicated to those who can’t be caged, because I aspire to live authentically. I want to surround myself with individuals who are giving themselves permission to BE. I honestly believe in the American dream, that we all have gifts to give and that we all can soar past our limitations.

Occasionally we find ourselves caged by ideals and circumstances. Flying free is not always easy. I unexpectedly found myself caged and am willing to share what I learned in hopes that we can encourage each other to fly free!

Caged by the Do

Time between shows and buying trips makes me restless (and crazy). I love the road, finding unusual junque and then finding new homes for the treasured pieces! I also love to be busy, proving myself to be productive and useful. In the month of March I was super busy, only home in Houston for five days. You would think that I would welcome a few weeks off. After only a few days of rest I was anxious to get on with another project, hit the road, DO something productive.

Well, here’s the thing… I was caged by my need to “Do.” You know I like the HUSTLE! I equate doing with successful people. I tend to fight for what I think is necessary for success. I erroneously believed that if I stopped the madness, nothing would be accomplished.

My forced down time has given me the opportunity to read, garden, walk/run, watch the DIY network and spend time with Jeff. Funny what you discover when you slow down!

I read The Invention of Wings and wondered what women of that era would think of the freedom we have today? I devoured a few Brene Brown books on shame and vulnerability, discovering a few things about myself and my perceived limitations.
I serendipitously discovered TX/RX Labs while picking up an industrial shelf I purchased on an online auction. Jeff and I joined the lab, signed up for classes and now have a renewed excitement about creative projects we are planning.
One day, I won a GoPro camera watching Brene Brown on Chase Jarvis Live, which has inspired me to pick up my camera again.
After watching Brene Brown on Chase Jarvis Live, I also watched an interview with Brandon Stanton, creator of Humans of New York. I fell in love with his project, bought his book and daily read individual stories on Facebook. We are all so unique, but still struggle with similar issues.

Although I fought it at first, slowing down has given me a new sense of HOPE, creativity, and made room for new opportunities. I am reminded of the importance of BEING.

Caged by Comparison

Comparison is a cage I desperately need to be free of. GEESH! This one kills me. If I wish to be vulnerable and authentic, I need to be honest about this one. I found myself envious of the success of others. I immediately fell into despair thinking I will never achieve success with all my limitations. I have had time to process this cage and take flight. First of all, my personal journey will not look like any other journey. The hardest thing for me to grasp is that my self worth is not tied to my net worth, productivity, or the accolades of others. Life has meaning and hope when I free myself of that crap!

FOCUS

Improper focus is another cage. I’ve always had a Focus Board of dreams. I have several posters covered with magazine images of what I thought life should deliver me. I dreamed of big houses, cars, exotic trips, etc. Dreaming and ambitions in life are not bad. I treasure the dreams and accomplishments of my life. I realized, after reading Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection, that the acquisitions and accomplishments I strive for don’t necessarily bring joy. Love this quote in Brown’s book,

Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness. Happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in sometimes when you are lucky. Joy is a light that fills you with hope, faith and love

~Adela Rogers St. Johns

I see a pattern. Once I achieve a dream, I always set the bar higher for myself. Striving for success in the future robs me of present joy. Now, I am working on a Focus Board for JOY, the things in life that bring meaning and hope.

The Avett Brothers sing it best!

Head full of doubt/Road full of promises

Like a bird in a cage, I broke in and demanded that somebody free it! I am grateful for the downtime and for discovering creative people who inspired me to live authentically. In sharing my journey, I hope to encourage you to break free from whatever cage ensnares you.

I’d love to hear from you!!!! Let’s encourage each other in flying free.

Here’s to freedom!