Perfectly Imperfect

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Do you have a desire to create something new in your life, yet fear the discomfort of change?  I’d like to offer the unconventional wisdom and beauty of perfectly imperfect.  

Japanese culture has a word for the idea of perfectly imperfect.  Wabi-sabi (侘寂) is a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is “imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete”.

Anyone who knows me can verify that I qualify for wabi-sabi.  I love mismatched and well loved furniture that tell a story.  I rarely wait until things line up perfectly before I launch a project.  Going against the grain of society is usually messy.    

No test, No testimony

When was the last time you allowed something to be imperfect?  Can you remember a time when you really didn’t have a choice?   

I was recently asked to give a ten minute talk on failure for my entrepreneur class at the Life Coach School.  I prepared my talk with numerous testimonies and awaited the zoom call with enthusiasm.  The day finally arrived.  Out of four panelists, I was asked to present second.  The first speaker brought up the term wabi-sabi.  I thought that concept went well with what I had planned.  It was finally my turn, but all I was able to share was a thought about being perfectly imperfect before my internet failed me.  I failed at a talk on failure.  Perfectly imperfect.  The moderator moved onto the next speaker, promising to come back to me.  After a brief freak out, I managed my presentation on my Iphone and presented last. 

I restarted my talk with a Les Brown quote, “No test, no testimony.”  

Later I received the sweetest message from the moderator.  

“Hey Tiffany, way to roll with the tech and share such great insights! I loved the way you weaved in your own story throughout and made it so raw, real, and genuine. Way to be an example, and I’m so glad we got to learn from you!”

“When you are going through hell, don’t stop.” Les Brown

Are you uncomfortable with imperfection? 

“It is normal and important to allow yourselves to be uncomfortable,”  Brooke Castillo.

Discomfort is the currency of your success.  It develops grit.  Experts agree that if you don’t experience a little discomfort on your way to goals, you are doing it wrong.  Stepping outside of you comfort zone is where real growth can occur.  

Two types of discomfort

When you embark on anything new, your brain will offer you all kinds of resistance.  You will immediately think of all the reasons not to move forward; excuses, confusion, not being perfect, etc. 

Understanding the two different types of discomfort will help you navigate confusion and choose discomfort that serves you.  

1. The discomfort of NOT growing into your potential.  

This kind of discomfort is caused by thoughts that keep you stuck such as, “I’m not good enough” or “this is hard” or “this is not the right time.”  These are thoughts that will not allow you to move forward out of fear of being imperfect.

2. The discomfort required to change.  

This is short term discomfort with long term gains and will move you closer towards your goals.  This is the kind of action that gives you butterflies in your stomach, like public speaking or trying something new.  

Embracing imperfection

I have learned the secret of being perfectly imperfect.  This concept has allowed me to flow towards the discomfort required to change and develop grit.   

Growth that leads to success is not always the easy road to follow, but the rewards are worth it.  You are worth it.  

If you’d like to embrace the secret of being perfectly imperfect, I’d like to offer my help!  I love chatting with midlife women who want to believe the best years are ahead.  Schedule a FREE mini session by clicking on my link below and picking a date on my calendar.  It really is that simple.  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach


Dedicated to those who can’t be caged

 

Flown The Coop is dedicated to those who can’t be caged, because I aspire to live authentically.  I want to surround myself with individuals who are giving themselves permission to BE.   I honestly believe in the American dream, that we all have gifts to give and that we all can soar past our limitations.

Occasionally we find ourselves caged by ideals and circumstances.  Flying free is not always easy.  I unexpectedly found myself caged and am willing to share what I learned in hopes that we can encourage each other to fly free!

Caged by the Do

Time between shows and buying trips makes me restless (and crazy).  I love the road, finding unusual junque and then finding new homes for the treasured pieces!  I also love to be busy, proving myself to be productive and useful.  In the month of March I was super busy, only home in Houston for five days.  You would think that I would welcome a few weeks off.  After only a few days of rest I was anxious to get on with another project, hit the road, DO something productive.

Well, here’s the thing… I was caged by my need to “Do.”  You know I like the HUSTLE!  I equate doing with successful people.  I tend to fight for what I think is necessary for success.  I erroneously believed that if I stopped the madness, nothing would be accomplished.

My forced down time has given me the opportunity to read, garden, walk/run, watch the DIY network and spend time with Jeff.  Funny what you discover when you slow down!

  • I read The Invention of Wings and wondered what women of that era would think of the freedom we have today? I devoured a few Brene Brown books on shame and vulnerability, discovering a few things about myself and my perceived limitations.
  • I serendipitously discovered TX/RX Labs while picking up an industrial shelf I purchased on an online auction.  Jeff and I joined the lab, signed up for classes and now have a renewed excitement about creative projects we are planning.
  • One day, I won a GoPro camera watching Brene Brown on Chase Jarvis Live, which has inspired me to pick up my camera again.
  • After watching Brene Brown on Chase Jarvis Live, I also watched an interview with Brandon Stanton, creator of Humans of New York.  I fell in love with his project, bought his book and daily read individual stories on Facebook.  We are all so unique, but still struggle with similar issues.

Although I fought it at first, slowing down has given me a new sense of HOPE, creativity, and made room for new opportunities.  I am reminded of the importance of BEING.

Caged by Comparison

Comparison is a cage I desperately need to be free of.  GEESH!  This one kills me.  If I wish to be vulnerable and authentic, I need to be honest about this one.  I found myself envious of the success of others.  I immediately fell into despair thinking I will never achieve success with all my limitations.  I have had time to process this cage and take flight.  First of all, my personal journey will not look like any other journey.  The hardest thing for me to grasp is that my self worth is not tied to my net worth, productivity, or the accolades of others.  Life has meaning and hope when I free myself of that crap!

FOCUS

Improper focus is another cage.  I’ve always had a Focus Board of dreams.  I have several posters covered with magazine images of what I thought life should deliver me.  I dreamed of big houses, cars, exotic trips, etc.  Dreaming and ambitions in life are not bad.  I treasure the dreams and accomplishments of my life.  I realized, after reading Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection, that the acquisitions and accomplishments I strive for don’t necessarily bring joy.  Love this quote in Brown’s book,

Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness.  Happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in sometimes when you are lucky.  Joy is a light that fills you with hope, faith and love

~Adela Rogers St. Johns

I see a pattern.  Once I achieve a dream, I always set the bar higher for myself.  Striving for success in the future robs me of present joy. Now, I am working on a Focus Board for JOY, the things in life that bring meaning and hope.

The Avett Brothers sing it best!

Head full of doubt/Road full of promises

Like a bird in a cage, I broke in and demanded that somebody free it!  I am grateful for the downtime and for discovering creative people who inspired me to live authentically.  In sharing my journey, I hope to encourage you to break free from whatever cage ensnares you.

I’d love to hear from you!!!!  Let’s encourage each other in flying free.

Here’s to freedom!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!