Tag Archives: The Four Stages Of Reinvention

Does beating myself up work?

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Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping midlife women rise about their BS.

Does beating myself up work?  

Here I go again, beating myself up about a recent weight gain.  

I am disappointed, but the way I treat myself is ridiculous.  

It hit me that I subconsciously think feeling horrible about myself is the solution.  

As if a good scolding will put a fire under my butt.  

This mindset is similar to thinking hangovers will stop me from drinking wine again.  

Has it ever worked?

It sucks that creating positive change never get easier.   

Beating myself up with regret 

Copious amount of regret or remorse will not produce the energy needed to change course.

First, let me remind you to NOT beat yourself up for having lower energy thoughts and feelings.

They are there to teach you something.  Take a moment to acknowledge them and notice what the feelings produce.  

For me, regret feels heavy and defeated.  The feeling causes me to avoid exercise, wear big flowing dresses to hide, increase self depredating trash talk, and/or buffer with a bottle of wine, which creates even more regret.    

If feeling horrible about yourself won’t motivate you, then what will?  

Only a strong reason will motivate you to walk through any discomfort for change.  

Why do you dream of any accomplishment or destination?

You long for a feeling that you don’t currently have.  

Your “why” is linked to a feeling you desire.    

Radiant

How do you want to feel?  

There’s a symphony of emotions available to you at any given time.  I’d be happy to email you a two page list of emotions.  

So, I asked myself how will I feel when I reach my ideal weight?

Beautiful.  Worthy.  Strong.  Confident.  Capable.  Smart.  Blissful.  Carefree.  Ecstatic.  Energetic.  Energized.  Exhilarated.  Focused.  Free.  Gleeful.  Healthy.  Jubilant.  Liberated.  Natural.  Playful.  Radiant.  Rapturous.  Relaxed.  Self-affirming.  Tenacious.  Vigorous.  Youthful.

Is it possible to experience that feeling now?  YES!  

Today as I walked to the post office I practiced thinking I am radiant, which made me walk a little taller and put a smile on my face.  There is a big energetic difference between regret and radiant.  I felt it.  

Journal it

Do you want to know what you really think about yourself?  Carry a notebook for twenty four hours to jot down every thought you have about yourself.  

Before you start estimate a ratio of bad thoughts.  Do you think it will be twenty percent or eighty?  

At the end of your experiment, take a hard look at how you are treating yourself.  

Is this how you want to think and feel?  

If not, make a list of how you want to feel.  What will you need to believe?

I can help

It sucks to discover how ridiculous you are treating yourself and realize that beating yourself up never works.

My free guide Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS is a great start.  There are excellent journal prompts and practices to get you to question your BS beliefs and create ones that better serve you.  

I also offer a free consultation.  Ever wondered why midlife women hire a life coach?  Is it a good fit for you?  I invite you to hop onto a call with me to get your questions answered.

I know I can help!  I’m seeing results in my own life and the lives of my clients.  

Simply click on my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you!  

Here’s to feeling radiant and ditching regret!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

Four ways to thrive in chaotic times

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Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping midlife woman thrive in chaotic times.

Four ways to thrive in chaotic times

Chaos seems to be the norm these days.  I have discovered four ways to move past survival mode and to thrive in chaotic times.

Drama unfolds daily on the world stage, but chaos isn’t only found in politics and pandemics.

Prior to 2020 your life might have been too busy, which felt chaotic.  Modern life had not made life simple as promised.  

I love Jewel’s song Hands.  

If I could tell the world just one thing it would be that we’re all ok.  And not worry ‘cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these.  

I won’t be made useless or be idle with despair.  I will gather myself around my faith.  For light does the darkness fear. ~ Jewel

It may be a struggle, but it is possible to learn to thrive in these chaotic times.  

Four ways to thrive

Talking with friends and journaling has brought to light four ways to move past survival mode.  I encourage you to spend time answering the journal prompts and pondering the ways you can thrive.  

Acknowledge trauma

Life doesn’t slow down for chaos, but it’s important to process the trauma.  

Families still function.  The sun still rises and sets daily.   

Trauma is the not the experience.  Trauma is what is left in the body from the experience.  

The world has handed you {and me} a whopping dose of fear, continually. Your nerves may be frazzled from the body’s fight or flight response, depending on how much you expose yourself to the fear.

It’s exhausting to carry around stress for extended periods of time.  You may feel moody, tired and avoid things you need to do.  You may even think, what’s the use? 

It is important to acknowledge what you may be suppressing in order to function.

Don’t be afraid to journal your thoughts and feelings, if only to release them.  

Extend yourself grace.  These thoughts and feelings are clues that you need to take a break.  

After acknowledging the trauma, get reacquainted with what matters to you.  Surround yourself with what is lovely and true in your life.

Get physical

“I will not be made useless or be idle by despair.” ~ Jewel

Turn towards movement in moments of despair.  

Sweating my ass off in my victory garden makes me feel alive.  A true labor of love that allows me to focus on wonder.  I feel productive.  

I thrive in my garden, but also enjoy roller skating, talking to my family and friends, spending time with Jeff, building my dreams, helping midlife women and taking a walk {not in any specific order}. 

Gardening may not be your thing, but you can train yourself to turn towards what makes you feel alive!  Movement.  Any movement. 

Journal your responses…

What makes me feel productive?

How can I savor this moment? 

Is there movement that I can do today? 

Remember your accomplishments

Resilience has taught me that I can handle anything that is thrown at me.  

You have done hard things.  You have probably have done harder things while toting toddlers or juggling a demanding career.  

Build your confidence by journaling all that you have accomplished in your life.

How does that list make you feel?  I hope you see you are a badass capable of handling chaos.  

What do you believe about your accomplishments?  

Do you believe you are resilient?  

Worry is a misuse of your imagination

“Cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these.” ~Jewel  

You may want to avoid more bad news or fear what is to come, but you can be confident in your strength to find a way through it. 

Imagining the worst case scenario in the present is wasteful and does little to affect the outcome.  In fact, you are actually experiencing what you fear ahead of time by worrying about it.

It is wise to prepare for the future, but the truth is you can’t predict how the future will exactly unfold.  So do what you can and trust yourself to handle the unexpected.  

No use worrying about what you don’t know to worry about.  

“I am never broken.” ~ Jewel

How committed are you to the chaos? 

Are you ready to let it go?

Journaling the prompts I’ve shared is a great start, but you may need help moving past the trauma.  

Never heard of working up a good mad?  It’s a real thing.  

If you are like me, once you’ve worked up a good mad for an extended period of time, it isn’t easy to see another way.  

I want to encourage you.  There is a way to thrive in the chaos.  I am confident that I can help you find YOUR way. 

I invite you to schedule a consultation to talk about the trauma you’ve been carrying.  You can ask me all the questions you might have about coaching and see if working with me is a good fit for you. 

Simply click on my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you!

Here’s to to thriving!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Decades in the middle

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Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women rise above midlife BS!

I learned an unique perspective on midlife from attending The Empowered Women’s Summit, I like to call it the decades in the middle.    

Have you noticed that there is something different about this generation of midlife women?  

I haven’t been able to put my finger on it until I took part in the Empowered Woman’s Summit hosted by Jillian McGill.  

As I listened to the presenters it became obvious.  This generation of midlife women understand there is more life to live in the middle than ever before, even decades.  These women are radically owning their middle years.   

Why unique?

The first presenter, Alana Kirk, kicked off the summit declaring that this is unprecedented times for midlife woman.  

We are not our grandma’s generation!  

For the first time in history, women have been given an extra 20-30 years of life expectancy.  We have a couple decades to live in the middle, not centered around the needs of others but focused on our unique contribution to the world.  

Some stats….

Women born in1936 had a life expectancy of 59 years old at birth.  Because of advances in medicine, my grandmother actually lived to be 98.

The generation born around 1970 were given a life expectancy of 74 years old at birth, but are likely to live upwards to 100 years.  

Girls born in 2010 have a life expectancy of 83 years old at birth, 20-30 years past what her grandmother could expect.  

This generation of midlife women will spend 1/3 to 1/2 of their lives post menopausal. 

This is great news y’all!!!!

Trail Blazers welcome!   

If you were lucky enough to have a mother who taught you about sex and what to expect as a woman entering the world on her own, I doubt she also had the “what to expect when your entering midlife” chat.  Even if she did, your midlife will look different from hers.

If you’re like me, you’re thrilled to be a trail blazer.  More than likely, the next generation will know what to expect by the example we lead. That’s exciting!

Although you may feel powerless in the midst of all the changes and a bit uncertain which path to take, this is most unique time in history to be a woman in midlife.  So, keep a few things in perspective…

1. Your path forward will be unique to you, but you are not alone.  The Empowered Woman Summit showcased women from all over the world charting their own path.  

2. You have unlimited choices.  This season you are birthing something new just for you.  And the best news is that you don’t need permission to pursue any direction.  

3. You have already done hard things in your life.  In fact, you probably did hard things toting small children or juggling a demanding career.  You’ve got this too!  

I can help!

I help women stop wasting precious time upset about midlife, and start believing their best years are ahead. 

Now is the time to get serious about what you will do with all the extra years in the middle.  

If you are struggling to know what path to pursue, I invite you to schedule a free consultation.  

My clients are walking through various stages of reinvention.  I’d love to help you too!  

It’s super easy… just click on my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you.  

Here’s to the very best, unique, unpredidented decades in the middle!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Could it be time to birth something new in your life?

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Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach and author helping midlife women answer the question, What's next.

How many decisions have you made in your life with other people’s opinions and expectations in mind?  Could it be time to birth something new?

In your youth you may have followed expected paths forward, maybe even embracing them without a thought.  (College, married life, career, kids)  

It isn’t that you regret all the decisions you’ve made in life, rather living according to norms has lost its appeal and feels less than satisfying in this season. 

By midlife your ready to throw off society’s expectations and create something entirely your own.   

The birth of a new journey

In my recent interview with Jillian McGill {see video below}, she shared her journey birthing something new in her life.  Jillian started her journey with a diagnosis of an auto immune disease.  At the time she was a classroom teacher giving 100% of herself to her classroom, her students, her family, parents of her students and her community. 

Looking back in retrospect she realized that she lost herself in the doing of it all.  

Can you relate?

In the process of waiting for her diagnosis and starting the healing process, she decided to try something new.  She took some creative classes, including enrolling in The Color Of Woman by her art momma Shiloh Sophia McCloud.  She found her inner artist, creating art that now hangs in a gallery in Alaska. 

That led her to wonder, what else can I do?  

Goosebump moments

As Jillian shared her journey, I literally had goosebumps all over. Her story of empowered rebirth rings true for so many of you too. I loved that she found her inner artist, but her story didn’t end there.   

Jillian has a heart to help and support women in the powerful healing that can occur when you tap into your creativity.  She became a certified creativity coach that led her to teaching retreats and workshops, eventually shifting to online. 

She retired from a career she loved to pursue a childhood dream of traveling the US in a RV.  Planning to only be gone a year, she left Alaska to travel Canada, the lower 48, going all the way south to Key West, until the world suddenly changed.  

She realized that she could no longer safely take an outer journey and shifted to an inner journey, which included enrolling in a leadership program.  That program gave her agency to take leadership in her own life. 

She had stories she was telling herself of why she shouldn’t or couldn’t do those things, things she always wanted to do.  She even had stories of why she should be put last or couldn’t start a business of her own.  

Come on… does this ring a bell????  

Her current mantra is… LIFE IS NOW.

Birth a new thing

At this juncture of her journey she felt called to empower women to truly live a life they love.  She decided to host an event that will create space and an experience for women who are traveling a similar journey.

On August 15th Jillian will launch The Empowered Woman Summit, the next big thing in her journey.  

The Empowered Woman Summit is designed to help women rediscover themselves, or discover themselves for the first time, to follow their intuition and to live the life they truly love.    

Jillian believes the take away for each woman will be as unique as they are.  Her intention is for attendees to genuinely feel supported and be empowered, to have fun, and to learn something new.  She wants women to be excited about their journey.  

Her story could be yours

Jillian’s story is similar to mine, and could feel kindred to yours too. This nurturing style of birthing something new into this world is a revolution.  Our season of birthing babies has shifted to giving birth to endless possibilities.  As soon as you birth this one thing, there will be another thing that wants to be birthed!  

The magic of the summit is that you don’t have to feel alone in your unique journey.  Jillian put it best when she mentioned the power and the joy of collaborating truly feels wonderful and delicious.  

Will you join us August 15th – 22nd for a week of collaborating with like-hearted women from all over the world?  We’ll start a revolution of women who are claiming their power to birth something new.  

TO REGISTER CLICK HERE

As always, I’m here to help you navigate this wonderful journey. I invite you to schedule a consultation by clicking on my calendar and picking a date/time that works for you.

I can’t wait to connect!

~Tiffany 

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

The question is not IF you journal, but HOW?

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Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention, author and certified life coaching helping midlife women answer the question, what's next.

My question this week is not IF you journal, but HOW do you journal?

After publishing The Four Stages Of Reinvention Journal, I have attracted more journal loving folks into my life.  I LOVE sharing the virtues of journaling with kindred spirits and learning all the creative ways to express our inner world on paper.

The point of journaling is to get your thoughts out of your mind and connect to the parts of your soul often ignored or silenced by the demands of life.  How you journal is just as personal as your inner thoughts.  

My journal practice

I enjoy a quiet morning ritual sitting in my favorite chair with a cup of coffee.  It’s my time to catch up on the world and journal.  Although, I am spending less time scrolling through the chaos, preferring to understand what I’m thinking first.  

My journal practice is eclectic, and sometimes moody.  At times I am devoted to the trinity thoughts (A brag, gratitude and a desire), while other times I simply vent my random thoughts in a mind dump.  

I have a formula I put my thoughts, feelings, actions and results into.  This is the secret sauce to understanding how I want to think or feel about any circumstance.  

I wish I was more artistic, but creativity does find me during these morning moments.  Ideas flow from a managed mind at peace.  

Always open to new journal practices, I was excited to be introduced to a couple new ones.  

Future Self journaling

I recently had the opportunity to take part in a master mind session called Meeting My Future Self, where my new friend Miriam guided an amazing meditation to meet the woman I will be in the future.  

Miriam invited me to envision a path that opened up to my future home.  I envisioned the breath taking castle owned by Darcy in Pride And Prejudice.  A confident woman led me through her beautiful home on a picturesque property with a huge pond and winding driveway.  We hung out in a room with tall windows overlooking an English garden.  I took a peak at her office, a white room with book shelves with no clutter.  She gave me a very special gift that signified that I no longer needed to wait for permission to achieve my dreams.  

There is no way to to convey the impact this meditation had on me, most of which was symbolic.  Since that experience, I have questioned wether my confident future self would spend time worrying about my daily stresses, or would she get to work solving the problems?  

Miriam encourages a daily practice focusing on your future self.  I couldn’t agree more!!!!

Future self journaling gets you out of the rut of obsessing about the past or worrying about the future.  You can’t do anything about the past, but you can create the future.  Allow your imagination to guide you!  

Cosmic Smashbook

I could really use a dose of this whimsy!  Another new friend, Jillian McGill leads workshops creating cosmic smashbooks.  I love the idea of learning to express my inner life through works of art.  

The concept is similar to the focus boards I used to create, and has inspired me to add art inside my journals.  I will start with pasting magazine images onto the pages, and maybe allow myself to doodle.  

Search the hashtag #cosmicsmashbook for ideas to create your own!

Do you do creative journaling?

How do you get started?

Well, like the old Nike commercial encouraged…. JUST DO IT.

Activate your imagination

Set aside a few minutes daily

Create your own practice with the ideas I’ve shared

I can help!

My clients love my journal prompts designed to ask questions that get to the heart of what they’re navigating. 

I’d love to talk to you about the benefit of personalized coaching.  I invite you to visit my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you.  

My new journal, The Four Stages Of Reinvention offers journal prompts with each stage.  This self-paced journal will help you find your future and answer the question, what’s next.

You can purchase The Four Stages Of Reinvention on Amazon, or click the link provided! 

P.S. A Cosmic gathering to be announced this week!

This week I will be announcing an awesome collaboration Jillian McGill has organized with expert authors, coaches, artists, teachers and speakers from all over the world (including me).

As I have mentioned, I have been attracting like minded women who want to thrive in the season we know as midlife.  I am honored to be in the company of so many extraordinary women.  

Stay Tuned for the exciting news!

Here’s to thriving y’all!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky