How often do you choose yourself? A common theme with the women I coach is learning to make yourself a priority in midlife. Some clients are learning to take back their time, while others are making this their time to shine.
Choosing yourself is about finding significance in the opinion you hold of yourself. ~Tiffany
Significance is not selfish, it’s one of the eight basic human needs. I promise developing a healthy opinion does not make you a narcissist.
The real problem is people expect their needs to be met by others, wether the need is solving loneliness, feeling heard or finding purpose.
So, it is not surprising when you find yourself disappointed with people or circumstances, especially when they are not meeting your needs.
Choosing me is hard
I hate inconveniencing others and tend to project my feelings or expectations onto others.
When I make decisions based on how it will affect the people around me, even when it is not in my best interest, I then tend to expect others to consider how their decisions will affect me.
As I regularly preach, other people are not thinking of you. They are busy meeting their own needs… a vicious cycle that is broken when you learn to meet your own needs, to choose yourself.
After a recent fight with my husband, that revolved around making plans without discussing it first, this thought hit me like a ton of bricks.
How can I feel like a priority when the opinion I hold of myself is squat.
The fear of being unlovable or unworthy is very common, and not surprising that I caught myself in this pattern of belief. I was making the plans my husband made mean I was not a priority, which was not what he meant at all.
Had I realized that I was triggered by the thought I was not a priority, I might have approached the topic completely different.
It is my intention for you to believe that your best years are ahead and midlife is a precious gift, a time to find your significance in your own opinion.
If you have a healthy self worth, good for you! We need more people like you in the world. By valuing yourself, you walk in freedom and no one has to live up to your expectations.
However, if you struggle with significance like I do, there is freedom for you too.
Start acknowledging when you’re looking to outside influences to gain the value you seek.
Learn to speak up for yourself.
Believe your time is valuable.
See your gifts are priceless.
Start to choose yourself.
I can help you traverse the web of thoughts ingrained in your opinion of yourself and create new ones that will empower you to move forward into an exciting, fun future.
I invite you to schedule a free consultation. Let’s chat about how working with me will help you create a healthy opinion of yourself. I want to learn where you are at, and where you’d like to be in life.
Here’s to finding significance in the opinion you hold of yourself! And choosing to believe in your worth!
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!