I want to be as fat as I once thought I was.

Posted on May 4, 2023 by tiffany

I would love to be as fat as I once thought I was. Facebook memories from 2018 – 2019 {which wasn’t even that long ago} reminds me that I once could wear sleeveless dresses and cute bathing suits. My mantra was, “I am the girl who likes to work out.” Even then, I had a tendency to see the flaws and didn’t allow myself to admire my accomplishments.

My daughter in-love reminded me of a Moira Rose quote from the show Shits Creek. This is advice she gave to Stevie,

“Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now. You may currently think I’m too spooky, or nobody wants to look at these tiny boobies. But one day you will look at those photos with much kinder eyes, and say dear God I was a beautiful thing.”

Hindsight

It’s easy to look with hindsight and see circumstances differently.

That internal critic seems ridiculous looking back. Did I really think I was fat?

Midlife could be a time when you finally have the wisdom to be less critical of yourself, admire all that you’ve accomplished in your lifetime and believe you can create a future that is fulfilling.

However…

How many times recently have you thought I should be able to loose weight?

How many times have you thought if only I could {fill in the blank} I’d be happy.

Sadly, many at midlife still have not outgrown the critic.

Proverbs 3:12

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Hope deferred feels more like sadness to me. Hoping to lose weight is making me sad, as is hoping for a new truck or for things to be different.

Wisdom is realizing what you’re actually longing for.

What you really want is the way being skinny (or what ever you hope for) will make you feel.

Feeling fulfilled

I have found at the root of what makes midlife women miserable, is the need to feel fulfilled.

So how can you feel fulfilled? First stop looking for something external or an ideal circumstance to be fulfilling.

It won’t come from a scale, or driving down the road in a brand new truck with leather seats.

The fulfillment you are longing for isn’t in the past either… wanting to be as fat as you once thought you were.

What if I told you that being fulfilled is within your grasp?

I enjoy working with women who are tired of being hard on themselves, find themselves stuck in the past and want to start enjoying life.

So, don’t waist another day hoping for things to be different.

Being fulfilled is within. I can help you ditch the internal critic to discover what your heart is really longing for.

Schedule a chat with me by visiting my calendar link to pick a date/time that works for you.

Here’s to the best years ahead!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her wiring “YES” in the sky!

Won’t ask for help, but need to be heard and understood

Posted on April 25, 2023 by tiffany

I have a theory. Women aren’t necessarily going to ask for help, but need to be heard and understood.

My husband often gets frustrated with me when I share whatever I’m upset about. He feels like he should fix it. And honestly, unloading grievances often sounds like a cry for help. So I avoid using him as a sound board.

I have found that many women are accustomed to keeping their emotions bottled up and less likely to ask for help.

So, I posed this question on Instagram.

“Women, do you want help or do you just want to be heard?”

I thought I knew the answer, but was surprised to learn that women want both.

Lots of women want to be heard and understood, but also want help. My friend Vicki, who is a giver, wondered if she was actually taking an opportunity to give away from someone by not asking for help. My friend Leslie thoughtfully added that she needs to be heard for true connection, but likes physical help. And there are times when a spiritual or mental issue is done alone, after being heard.

When was the last time you asked for help?

I’m sure you know to ask for help if you need a tree cut down, or help moving furniture.

You might hire a coach if you need to get in shape, or want to start a new business.

But when was the last time you asked for help facing all the changes that happen in midlife.. a heartbreaking downsize, explaining your new role in social situations, etc. You might need a push to pursue a dream, but have never talked through the obstacles that are preventing you from moving forward.

A midlife crisis doesn’t always show up driving a red sports car. From what I see a “midlife crisis” shows up quietly in an empty nest or an empty calendar that was once overbooked.

You may have never considered asking for help for what you are experiencing. It is hard to put a finger on the problem, and can even feel silly. You finally have free time and a little financial freedom, but you can’t seem to explain why you’re so lonely and dread the future.

Finding help

Obviously it is not healthy to keep feelings bottled in.

You don’t need to be fixed, you just need someone to listen to you and help you clarify your thoughts.

I understand and want to provide a trusted sound board for you. I believe you can move from dreading each day to believing your best years are ahead.

I’d love to help you create a vision for your future. Visit my calendar link and schedule a free consultation.

I am also considering a weekly gathering at The Coop for those who want to support each other through midlife changes. It could be an opportunity to share weekly highs and lows in a group setting. Let me know what you think… a coffee hour, a happy hour… I am open to suggestions.

Here’s to believing our best years are ahead!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

This song hit a cord

Posted on January 30, 2023 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach. Helping women believe their best years are ahead. — You can buy yourself flowers.

You can’t scroll through Instagram without hearing Miley Cyrus’s new song Flowers in all the latest REELS. This song has hit a cord for me, not in an angry man-hating way, but in an empowered healthy way.

It definitely runs on repeat in my head. I’m singing it in the shower, while I’m doing dishes and humming it at random times.

I don’t want Jeff to get the wrong idea, but I love singing it.

I went down a rabbit hole reading tabloid articles about why Miley wrote the song. Many say it was in response to her failed marriage or a comeback to Bruno Mar’s song When I Was Your Man.

Either way, it doesn’t explain why it hit a cord with me.

What’s wrong with me?

I hate to admit this, but I used to make Jeff responsible for my emotions. I constantly needed to feel connected, to be entertained and affirmed. At the root, I had a gut feeling that I was not lovable. Wow! That’s a heavy load for Jeff to carry.

Yeah, I love it when sweet Jeff brings me flowers. But if he doesn’t show up with the flowers, I don’t make it mean that there is something wrong with me.

Of course we need relationships

Love and connection are two of the six basic human needs.

However, you may feel miserable if you’re thinking…

If only my husband would (fill in the blank)

My children don’t (fill in the blank)

No one sees what I do for them.

You might not want to hear this, but we never really show up in ways that are easy to be around when we have thoughts that make us feel sad, lonely or miserable,

Maybe you just want a hug, but it’s hard to hug a prickly cactus.

The relationship that changed

Miley’s song is a celebration for me.

My relationship with myself changed, and has made my relationship with Jeff incredible.

For the first time in my life I am comfortable in my own skin, know at a deep level that my life has meaning and understand what’s going on internally when I’m upset.

Jeff’s no longer responsible for that heavy load.

Now, I can buy myself flowers just because it makes me smile. I have dance parties in my kitchen when no ones looking and spend hours journaling in an attempt to understand myself. I actually love my own company now.

That shift is SO empowering!

Buy yourself flowers

So, how do you shift?

I work with clients all the time who are not even aware of the beliefs that are dictating how they show up in relationships.

If you are tired of feeling lonely, unappreciated, unlovable (or any combination of emotions), I would love to help you.

Once you shift from feeling like a victim to becoming empowered, Miley’s song will hit a new cord for you too.

You will want to buy yourself flowers! Write your name in the sand…talk to yourself for hours…

You will take yourself dancing because YOU can love YOU better…. And you should.

Here’s to celebrating YOU!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

Spread your wings and soar

Posted on November 21, 2022 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach helps women believe their best years are ahead.

Far too many people sit on the sidelines of life. Given the chance to spread your wings and soar, would you choose the safety of what you know instead, even when it’s uncomfortable?

Midlife is the chance to create magic for yourself, to even go a completely different direction in the second half of life.

Why on earth would you not seize this season, an opportunity to create the life you’ve always wanted?

What is clipping your wings?

The biggest reason you don’t take flight is a resistance to change. It’s scary.

Almost everyone I’ve worked with has felt as if they were at a crossroads, but are stuck thinking the following…

What will their family and friends say?

They’re thinking, “now what” because they’re not sure of what they want or who they want to be.

The fear of failure keeps them from moving forward with any ideas. To make it worse, some even think they’re too old to try something new.

Many feel lonely and unsupported, while other people seem to have it all together on social media.

Some feel hopeless and depressed as if they can’t see past the hand they’ve been dealt.

What do you have to believe to spread your wings and soar?

You have to believe that your best years are ahead.

Suffering is optional. As a life coach, I help women identify their resistance and think differently about their future.

I’d love to help you stop waisting precious time on the sidelines. You still have a lifetime to create, dreams to discover, hobbies to explore and personal goals to realize. It’s not time to rest in a rocker on the front porch of life. If you rest, you rust.

There is purpose and meaning in this season. I believe YOUR best years are ahead!

If you are ready to spread your wings, schedule a FREE chat with me today by visiting my calendar link. OR if you are local, let’s meet for coffee. Message me if that sounds good!

Here’s to flying free and soaring into the future!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

Hiding in plain sight

Posted on June 8, 2022 by tiffany

Are you hiding your gifts in plain sight? Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach helps women find the reasons they are hiding and inspires them to explore what makes them feel alive.

Scrolling through Facebook the other day, I was drawn to a story of a violinist playing in the New York subway. Turns out he was the famous Joshua Belle. No one who passed him by knew or appreciated his gift of music. Although he played at a sold out theater in Boston two days before, this performance only earned him $30 in the subway. The violinist was hiding in plain sight.

I had a client this week tell me she had been hiding in plain sight. She struggled with spelling as a child. Instead of getting help, she found ways to accommodate and hide it. She has a brilliant mind, but allowed this one area to hold her back.

She was not the only one to make that statement. My business coach pointed out to me that I had been hiding in plain sight. I do the things that I’m good at, but not the things that actually move the needle in my coaching business. OUCH! I thoroughly enjoy writing and sharing my life on social media… but God forbid if I actually talk to women about midlife.

Talking to Jeff about this idea of hiding in plain sight, he reminded me of his desire to play the cello. There is a physical therapist at his hospital who also teaches Cello lessons. He has never met her, just knows about her. This mystery woman makes him wonder what gifts his coworkers have that he’d never know about.

Well, what does hiding in plain sight really mean?

Maybe you just feel that your gifts are not appreciated, so you’d rather not share them.

Do you have beliefs about your abilities that prevent you from stepping into things you’ve always wanted to do?

Are you only doing what comes easy and avoiding what is challenging?

Do your coworkers or friends know that you play the cello or create works of art in your spare time?

The good news

Midlife is the perfect time to share your gifts with a world that desperately needs people who choose vitality.

The gift of midlife is having time to roam, and to be surprised to learn something new about yourself in the process.

What could you get lost for hours doing?

Are you hiding in plain sight?

I’m not just hiding behind my writing. I’d actually love to chat with you about the areas of your life that you’re hiding in plain sight.

I’d love to help you first find the reasons you’re hiding, and then inspire you to explore what makes you feel alive.

If this is you, I have made it easy! Either reach out to me on any of my social media platforms or use my calendar link to schedule a time that works for you.

Here’s to the gift of midlife and allowing our gifts to shine!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Dancing with your dreams

Posted on May 30, 2022 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, helping women make it through midlife without a crisis. — Revival Mercantile, Brenham, Texas

After closing my store four years ago, I never thought I’d get back on the dance floor with my antique dream. Yet, here I am dancing with my dreams.

Coaching women who are struggling to see their next step has taught me the importance of following your bliss. It is not a cliché, clients really do come alive when they discover who they are and what makes them feel alive.

My bliss is found in creating spaces, offering hospitality and inspiring others. I especially feel alive when I am hunting for unique pieces, and then working them into a beautiful space for others to enjoy.

Revival Mercantile

My unique finds have found a home at Revival Mercantile in Brenham, Texas. Stacy, the store owner, hosts a community of creators on the second floor of her historic building that once bottled soda. The brick walls and hardwood floors are the perfect backdrop.

I love Revival’s mission statement… Our carefully curated collections tell your story and honor your journey.

“It’s not what I do, it’s who I am.” Maverick

Creating spaces isn’t what I do, it’s who I am. It’s more than a soul sucking job, but a chance to offer my spark of creativity.

There is a danger in confusing what you do with your identity. I follow retirement groups that regularly discuss the fear of retiring and loosing the identity they’ve held for decades. That fear sadly implies that retirement is a dead end and not an opportunity to dance with dormant dreams.

I believe it’s important to get to know yourself, to follow your bliss until you land in a beautiful spot that sets your soul on fire! It’s really about offering the world what only you can offer.

Can you feel the difference?

It’s your chance to dance

I invite you to join me on the dance floor of life. You are not a wallflower.

This is your season to follow your bliss, to discover who you are when you are dancing with your dreams.

What are the things you’ve put off trying? If making money was not the priority, what would you pursue?

It is not the season to live vicariously through others. If you need a little nudge out on the dance floor, I can help.

I invite you to schedule a consultation… a chat to see if working with me is a good fit for your journey. Simply reach out to me or use my calendar link to pick a time/date that works for you.

Here’s to following your bliss on the dance floor! It’s a revival! 🙂

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

What is keeping you stuck

Posted on May 23, 2022 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach, helping women make it through midlife without a crisis. In this blog, she talks about not being a pansy, but a dandelion.

I’ve been journaling about my inability to get in shape. Well, you can’t actually get in shape if you are avoiding exercise and having too many cocktails. What is keeping me stuck?

I vacillate between dreading the workouts and loathing myself for not doing the workouts, two sides of the same coin… shame.

Thoughts are self-fulling prophesies. Somewhere along the way I had a thought that this should be easy.

When it is not easy, it becomes easier to to avoid, to retreat from my goals and to give up.

I’m not a pansy. I’m a dandelion.

The thought that I am not a pansy… I am a dandelion will kick my butt back in shape.

Feel free to use the thought too, especially if you feel stuck.

You have done hard things, so have I.

Pansies represent loving feelings, but as a delicate flower has a reputation for weakness.

Dandelions are determined and can grow anywhere in any condition. Although this flower is considered a weed, it has been used to symbolize light, hope, and healing for centuries. Blowing on dandelion puffs feels playful, offering a hint of longevity as the seeds of hope are spread on the wind.

Can you see yourself as a dandelion?

Do you feel determined to become the woman you can admire, or are you avoiding the desires of your heart because you think it should be easier?

I am going on record. I’m officially ditching the narrative that it should be easier and embracing the discomfort of getting back in shape. I value longevity and wellness, standing strong and being proud of how I show up for life. I am worth the effort… and so are you!

Let’s cheer each other on!

You are not a delicate flower and can do hard things too!

You’re a dandelion, the underdog of humble strength that offers abundant hope.

If this resonates with you, let’s cheer each other on. I’d love to hear about your journey.

However, if you are vacillating between dread and loathing yourself, I can help you! My clients are experiencing success in becoming the hero of their own story. It helps to have someone listen to your story and help you see where you are stuck, and then get you on the road to creating the life YOU really want.

I invite you to schedule a consultation… a chat to see if working with me is a good fit for your journey. Simply reach out to me or use my calendar link to pick a time/date that works for you.

Here’s to becoming a strong, determined dandelion.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

The art of living intentionally

Posted on May 15, 2022 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt helps women make it through midlife without a crisis. She believes in the are of living intentionally. She can help you too!

Whoo hoo, you made it to midlife! No doubt that you’ve done hard things along the way, but the journey doesn’t end when you send your adult children off into the world or the day after your retirement party. In fact, it is time to get serious about the art of living intentionally and create the life you always dreamed.

So, what are you waiting for?

Recently I signed up for an online DIY chair reupholster class. I have a longstanding chair addiction and always wanted to learn how to reupholster. I claimed that I didn’t have time to learn, but the idea of sucking at it held me back for years. What the heck? Now I have plenty of time to get past sucking at it.

Learning is loving yourself

A love of learning keeps you young. With each new challenge, you become a better version of yourself. Each new goal forces you to learn new skills and step outside your comfort zone.

What opportunities exist for you to challenge yourself, try something that you’ve always wanted to?

Midlife is your gift to explore all those interests you’ve thought about in the carpool line or sitting through an endless zoom call that could have been handled in an email. What were your day dreams?

Turn those daydreams into reality.

Dream like you did when you were five years, but imagine yourself living your dream five years in the future.

Here are a few journal prompts to spark your imagination.

Make a list of at least twenty five things you’ve always wanted to do.

What skills will you need to learn?

What habits will help you achieve your dream?

Who do you need to connect with?

Cringe worthy

So, who cares if I suck at reupholstery? I’ll share my journey even if it’s cringe worthy. The truth is any skill can be learned. In the process of sharing my journey, I hope to inspire you to step into a new challenge.

If you are feeling hesitant, I’d love to help you with the art of living intentionally.

I can help you identify the real reason you aren’t stepping into a fun future. Once you remove all the excuses and fears, you’ll be free to create the life you always dreamed.

What are you waiting for? I invite you to schedule a chat with me… it gives you an idea of how coaching can help you to feel excited about midlife and get you moving past the emotions of starting something new.

It is my intention that you believe your best years are ahead.

Here’s to sucking at something new… only to discover new things about myself!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Choose Yourself

Posted on May 8, 2022 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach and master of reinvention... want you to learn to choose you in midlife!

How often do you choose yourself? A common theme with the women I coach is learning to make yourself a priority in midlife. Some clients are learning to take back their time, while others are making this their time to shine.

Choosing yourself is about finding significance in the opinion you hold of yourself. ~Tiffany

Significance is not selfish, it’s one of the eight basic human needs. I promise developing a healthy opinion does not make you a narcissist.

The real problem is people expect their needs to be met by others, wether the need is solving loneliness, feeling heard or finding purpose.

So, it is not surprising when you find yourself disappointed with people or circumstances, especially when they are not meeting your needs.

Choosing me is hard

I hate inconveniencing others and tend to project my feelings or expectations onto others.

When I make decisions based on how it will affect the people around me, even when it is not in my best interest, I then tend to expect others to consider how their decisions will affect me.

As I regularly preach, other people are not thinking of you. They are busy meeting their own needs… a vicious cycle that is broken when you learn to meet your own needs, to choose yourself.

A priority

After a recent fight with my husband, that revolved around making plans without discussing it first, this thought hit me like a ton of bricks.

How can I feel like a priority when the opinion I hold of myself is squat.

The fear of being unlovable or unworthy is very common, and not surprising that I caught myself in this pattern of belief. I was making the plans my husband made mean I was not a priority, which was not what he meant at all.

Had I realized that I was triggered by the thought I was not a priority, I might have approached the topic completely different.

Find freedom

It is my intention for you to believe that your best years are ahead and midlife is a precious gift, a time to find your significance in your own opinion.

If you have a healthy self worth, good for you! We need more people like you in the world. By valuing yourself, you walk in freedom and no one has to live up to your expectations.

However, if you struggle with significance like I do, there is freedom for you too.

Start acknowledging when you’re looking to outside influences to gain the value you seek.

Learn to speak up for yourself.

Believe your time is valuable.

See your gifts are priceless.

Start to choose yourself.

I can help you traverse the web of thoughts ingrained in your opinion of yourself and create new ones that will empower you to move forward into an exciting, fun future.

I invite you to schedule a free consultation. Let’s chat about how working with me will help you create a healthy opinion of yourself. I want to learn where you are at, and where you’d like to be in life.

Here’s to finding significance in the opinion you hold of yourself! And choosing to believe in your worth!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Opportunities for resiliency

Posted on May 2, 2022 by tiffany

Have you ever felt rode hard and put up wet? That feeling is a clear sign that it is time to check-in, take stock and evaluate what you want to create for yourself and acknowledge the opportunity for resiliency.

This morning I woke up with achey legs and feeling acidic. My health and wellness is suffering from months under the pressure of planning a wedding, which by the way turned out perfect. I skipped yoga and indulged in evening cocktails as I tried to turn off the constant to-do list in my head.

As I clean up the wedding whirlwind and a fun-filled week with my grandkids, thoughts of resiliency pop in my head.

I feel exhausted, but it is time to focus on the life I want and who I want to be.

Here are my random thoughts on resiliency.

Messes clean up.

Weight gained can be lost.

Hearts mend.

The human body bounces back to wellness if taken care of.

Kids will grow up, get married and have kiddos… and I continue to thrive (when I choose to).

Opportunities for resilience

Being aware of your resiliency is empowering.

I am run down, out of shape and gained belly fat in the process, but I will not to hang out in self deprivation.

This is just another opportunity to prove that I am resilient and can become a better version of me in the process.

Opportunities for you to prove your resiliency exist too.

Focus on the future

A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step, or in this case a thought.

Start developing a dream of what you want for your life and how you want to show up.

Start dreaming with the innocence of a five year old, but with the inner strength of the woman you will become five years in the future.

Decide what you want to believe about yourself.

Don’t be shy about asking for help!

It is my intention that you believe your best years are ahead. I help women discover they are resilient and create the life they really want.

I’d love to help you navigate your opportunities for resiliency.

Reach out to me! I offer a free consultation. Simply click on my calendar link and choose a date and time that works for you.

Don’t waste any more precious time stuck! You are more resilient that you realize.

And you don’t have to feel alone. It always helps to talk through your opportunity for resiliency with someone who is great at listening and can ask the right questions.

Here’s to being resilient and thriving!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.