Are you boring?

Skipping down the yellow brick road….

How can midlife possibly be boring???

What I’ve heard from clients….

They finally broke free from the J.O.B., ditching the demanding schedule. 

Their kids are finally off the pay roll and living productive lives.  

They’ve planned for retirement and can finally breathe a sigh of relief.  

So… why does their new found freedom possibly feel empty, lonely or boring? 

What piques your curiosity?

I like to say that an empty nest is not boring because I live there.  Jeff won’t have to worry about a boring retirement.  There will always be a constant flow of ideas demanding his energy.  

I’ve been binge watching a YouTube channel, Roots and Refuge.  This sweet couple is living their dream publicly and sharing what they know about homesteading.  

This piqued my curiosity.  I wonder why I had never saved seeds?  Could this help me expand my garden?  These questions led to designing a new garden for all my new seeds and propagations.  

Guess what Jeff was doing this weekend????  

See full REEL on Instagram…. @2flownthecoop

Let loose your playfulness

Has your curiosity led you down a yellow brick road lately?  

From Dr. Christiane Northrup’s book Goddesses Never Age, around age 60 women’s fertility stops being about having children and starts being about what she can create for herself and for those around her.  

“They’re exuberant about life and they let loose their curiosity and playfulness.”  Dr. Northrup

That’s curious!  

How do you let playfulness and curiosity loose?  Here are a few ideas that came to mind….

  • Don’t wait to have a little one in tow to visit the museum or zoo.  
  • Join a Meet-up group (from eating out to fasting challenges)
  • Get a library card
  • Plan solo travel – I’ve done this in Costa Rica!  
  • Take dancing lessons
  • Learn to cook an exotic meal
  • Start a home apothecary (endless discoveries with this one!)
  • Take an interest in your genealogy
  • Invite an acquaintance to lunch or coffee
  • Attempt a cartwheel in the back yard (yep I occasionally do this to see if I still can)

Let me know if you either tried one or thought of one of your own!

How can I help?

“Curiosity is the insubordination in its purest form.”  Vladimir Nabokov

Still feeling stuck in boredom?  I can help you rebel from that mindset!

I offer several tools to get reacquainted with your youthful imagination.  

*Take advantage of my free guide, Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS.  I wanted to create a guide for women who think they are too old to change or create something completely different. 

*Get your copy of my recently published journal on Amazon, The Four Stages Of Reinvention.  This journal will help you discover there are predictable phases of change and build a road map for your future.    

*Take advantage of personalized coaching with me.  Not sure what that entails?  I invite you to find out if coaching is a good fit for you by scheduling a consultation.  Simply go to my calendar and pick a date/time that works for you.  

Here’s to letting loose curiosity and playfulness, and yellow brick roads!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

What I learned from my new hat

Tiffany Eckhardt; master of reinvention, certified life coach and author.  Helping midlife women answer the question what's next?
photo credit Ellen Renee Photography

What I learned from my new hat

I have a new hat to wear.  It’s actually the new title of published author.

I’m excited to announce my newly published journal, The Four Stages of Reinvention Journal, A Journal For the Journey on Amazon.  

Good thing I love hats, I have many.  My personal hats are of a wife, mother, daughter, sister, Fancy (aka grandma), niece and loyal friend.  Professionally I wear the hat of a certified life coach, but prefer to be called master of reinvention. My beloved guest house owner hat hardly feels like work.  Heck, you could say I have an abundant collection of hats!

My new hat accentuates my passion for helping women find their future, to believe their best years are ahead.  The Four Stages Of Reinvention walks you through the stages of resistance to resilience with journal practices to compliment each stage.  

Now that I’ve survived the process of publishing a journal on Amazon, I am ready to share what I’ve learned.

Get help from friends with amazing hats

Abundance is relational.  Thank God I’m abundantly blessed with people willing to help me.  The classic book Think And Grow Rich teaches the importance of building a network of support.

I could not have completed this project without my bestie, author Dawn Gardner.  First of all, she is the amazing photographer I used for many of the graphics.  As if that wasn’t valuable enough, she offered design suggestions, helped me format my pages for the journal and the cover, and was an invaluable beta reader.  

An awesome Master Mind leader and coach, Peg Wedig graciously offered editing suggestions, line by line and word by word to correct grammar and help fine tune my message.

I had several friends who read the journal before publishing, including a new friend Jillian McGill.  I’m honored to be included in her upcoming Empowered Woman’s Summit and love the review she offered!  

“Made me think quite a bit. For me, it seems that with a BIG life challenge I’m currently moving through, I dance between the four stages.  The inquiries and journal prompts are rich and robust. It’s beautifully put together.”

Wear an editor’s hat often

I will just admit it here.  I have poor grammar and spelling skills, which most likely frustrates my teacher and author friends.  The grammar police on social media has given me many citations over the years. 

In my haste to publish, I misspelled the word whether, the first word on the description page.  UUGH!  I discovered the misspelled word after I announced the journal on my personal Facebook page.  As a result, I learned how to properly correct copy on Amazon’s publishing, which took me several days.  Forgetting the first “h” in whether set me back about a week.  

Again, in my haste to share the journal, I sent out an email to 600 subscribers in the third person.  I had copied and pasted the the description page on Amazon.  It was too late to do anything about it.  I apologize for that one!  I was just too excited to edit my email properly.  

Live and learn!

Practice patience

Yeah, I don’t have much.  Can you relate?

I did practice patience in the creation stage of the journal, taking the time to recruit beta readers and painfully editing the journal.  Gratefully, my patience produced a beautiful journal.  

Publishing the journal tried my patience.  I love graphic design, but learning to format pages with bleed was frustrating.  {Thanks Dawn for getting me through that!}.  Waiting for the journal to go live was nerve-racking.  Waiting for a correction on the description page was gut-wrenching.  Finally, waiting for the first report on sales to post had me in knots. I’m hoping the journal will be well received, and to have a Sally Field moment, “You like me!  You really, really like me!”

Learning curve

I will continue to be a student of the publishing world, occasionally frustrating the grammar police on my blog and social media posts, and bugging my fiends for input on my grand ideas.  My work will gradually become polished as I learn from all the mistakes along the way.  

I am embracing the learning curve with humility and proving that age does not dictate what can be done or experienced. 

I share all of my imperfections in the hope of inspiring you to step out of your comfort zone.  

What are you waiting for?

Let me know how I can help!  

If you are resisting change in your life, let me encourage you. Once you’ve mastered the four stages or reinvention, you’ll never waste time fighting change again. 

You are capable of wearing multiple hats and learning to wear new ones.  

If you need help moving through a big life challenge, let’s connect.  I can help you dance through the stages of reinvention.  Check out my calendar for a free consultation!  

AND… check out my newly published journal on Amazon!  

Here’s to new hats!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

The miracle of journaling

Here I go again… touting the virtues of journaling.  In fact, this time I will go a step further by offering the miracles of journaling.  I’ve discovered the practice of gratitude journaling actually reveals miracles.  

The scoop

This is a very trying time, I’m going to assume it is for you too.  I have had several set backs and a huge life altering decision heavy on my heart, to the point I actually felt heart sick.  At the same time, our family has so many rich blessings to celebrate. 

The pages of my journal are a bit schizophrenic lately, celebrating the joyful highs and then diving deep into despair.  I am not afraid of feeling the wide range of emotions available to our human heart, but this gave new meaning to having a torn heart.  

I practice gratitude, but this time I was crying out for miracles. 

Getting connected 

There are two ways to live life:  One as if nothing is a miracle, the other as if everything is.  ~Albert Einstein

Let that sink in.  

Are you connected to the miracles in your life?  

Journaling is the perfect way to get connected to your life.  In fact, as I was lamenting my need for miracles I had an epiphany.  Instead of journaling gratitude, what if I create a list of miracles?  Could I find a miracle in my life?  Could I come up with ten miracles?   

The miracle

And just like that miracles opened to me.  

Miracle:  an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs. {I’d like to add intervention in human hearts}

Miracles aren’t rare, reserved for the special people.  If you are aware, you will start seeing extraordinary events unfold in normal every day life.  

Heck, YOU are a miracle.   Statistically you have a one in 400 trillion chance of being born.  

“That’s a pretty big number,” I thought to myself. If I had 400 trillion pennies, I could probably build a decent-sized penny fortress with it. ~ Mel Robbins

The miracle of journaling challenge

Join me in a journal challenge to list ten miracles you’ve experienced recently.  Start a list that you can add to on a daily basis.  

What could be considered a miracle?  

  • LIFE is a miracle
  • A beautiful rainbow or sunset… how do those beautiful colors appear in the sky?
  • A marriage enduring life’s most difficult seasons
  • FaceTime calls from grandkids when you really miss them
  • A call from your son with the big announcement that he proposed to his girlfriend
  • Connecting with a kindred spirit on a FB group who becomes a cherished friend
  • Watching seeds you planted in your garden mature to a harvest
  • A chance conversation at a party that leads to a beautiful opportunity
  • The miracle of resilience after a very hard season

Still struggling to see miracles in your life?  Let me offer that anything you are grateful for has the seed of a miracle planted within it.  

Open your heart a little to see how extraordinary life really is.  

Are you curious about your miracles?

I want to hear from you.  

Will you take the challenge?  If so….

What in your daily life presented itself as a miracle?  

How difficult or easy was the challenge?

Do you feel more connected to the miraculous?

Do you agree with Einstein that you are capable of seeing everything in life as a miracle?

Lets connect

It’s my passion to inspire woman to lead miraculous lives, with abundant possibilities.  

Hearts grounded and souls free!

Abundance is relational.

If you’re a woman of miracles… let’s connect!  

If you long for miracles… let’s connect!  

Let’s band together for a collective mission to rise above all the BS!  

I offer several ways to connect with me…. 

Join my Tiff’s Tidbits, an encouraging weekly email with special offers

Follow me on Facebook – daily encouragement

Follow me on Instagram – encouragement and wacky videos

Schedule a consultation – I invite you for a zoom chat!  

So here’s to discovering the miracles and as the poet Derek Walcott writes, Sit and feast on your life.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

Shed the shoulding

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach, helping midlife women answer the question, what's next

Are you shoulding yourself? 

The word should needs to go!

The word should is a verb and is the least motivating word in the English language.  Should is used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions.

The word carries weight that does not motivate.

You might be shoulding if….

Anytime you think you should act in a certain way in order to be loved or worthy.  Stop it!

Here are some example thoughts you might have had.

I should be able to loose weight, if only I could just stop eating bread and sugar.   

I should like to work out.      

There is a person you’ve been avoiding that you should call.

You wake up in the morning with a list of things you should do, but none if them sound fun.  

The night before you drank a bottle of wine to take your mind off things, and the next morning think you shouldn’t have done that.  

Why you should yourself?

If you are a midlife woman like me, you have a long history of shoulding yourself.   

Your the woman they could count on for the cupcakes at your child’s school.  

You beat yourself up for not being a certain size jeans, as if your weight is the reason someone should like you.   

If you could only live up to the magazine pictures in Better Homes And Gardens!  

You feel guilt and shame when you use the verb should, implying you have no control over your actions or will.

I add a little rebellion to my feelings of guilt and shame.  I personally hate being told what to do, it’s part of my fiery personality. Can you relate?  

In any case, the word should indicates a dissatisfaction with life.  

Ask yourself why

I’ll be a little vulnerable and share a should in my life.  

I have a habit of drinking a couple of glasses of wine or old fashions in the evening.  It really isn’t bad, but I started thinking I should be able to enjoy the evening without the cocktail.  I worry excessive alcohol is affecting my wellness and productivity the next morning.  

I started thinking I should be able to quit the habit during the week.  

That should only caused me to feel ashamed and beat myself up every morning.  

When I finally got honest with myself and journaled my thoughts and feelings, I realized that the real reason I was drinking more than I wanted to was two feelings… boredom and loneliness.  I spent time exploring why I was bored and lonely, which led to even more insights into what was really going on.  

Now that I have identified reasons for my extra glass of wine, I can work on the root thoughts and feelings, and offer myself grace instead of shame.

Ask yourself why when you think you should? When asked a question, your mind will go to work to answer it.  

At the root of every should is a desire for something.  What is your heart really longing for?  

Shed the should

Midlife is time to get honest with yourself.  This is your season to shed the should!  

Start discovering what would feel zesty, juicy and rewarding.  A daily journal practice is a great way to discover what is really going on in your mind.  

Employ the word NO to requests of your time or energy. Say YES to everything that aligns with the life you want to create.  

I can help!

Do you have a long history with the word should?  Could you use a little help ditching the habit?  

My clients are rising above all kinds of midlife BS.  You can too!

It’s been my experience that hiring an objective listener identified where I’ve been shoulding myself.

As your life coach, I will help you leap over the divide from what you think you should be doing to what you want to be doing.  

Your best years begin with a healthy dose of curiosity. 

Curious about hiring a life coach?   I invite you to schedule a consultation by clicking Ask A Coach below

Here’s to shedding the should!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of Reinvention and Certified Life Coach helping midlife women answer the question, "What's next?"

Minding the gap

Mind the gap

As a midlife coach, I focus on fresh starts.  Last week I addressed the feelings of restlessness, helping you to understand your thoughts cause your feelings.  This week I’d like to chat about the distance between what you think you should do and what you are actually doing. Your fresh start hinges upon you minding the gap.

The gap is a feeling.  

The greatest gap in the world is the gap between knowing and doing.  ~John Maxwell

The results we hope for in our lives are always created by the thoughts we entertain.  The gap between knowing and doing is our feelings.  

Again, notice what the gap is not…. obstacles, or any negative circumstance.  

Awareness

According to a Harvard Business Review article, the number one reason people don’t realize their potential is that they don’t know themselves.  

The best way to get to know yourself is develop a healthy measure of curiosity, observing your thoughts and feelings.  

Begin to observe what makes you tense or relaxed.  (Hint: it is a thought you are having). 

“To be true to myself, I must know myself: what I enjoy, what I resist, what moves me.  Pleasure asks that we reacquaint ourselves with who we are.”  ~Victoria Castle. 

Map your gap

I teach my clients a weekly scheduling practice called Monday Hour One.  In the process of scheduling everything out, my clients are taught to map out fun first.  

When I first started practicing Monday Hour One, I didn’t know what I liked to do for fun.  I had to think about what brought me pleasure throughout the week.  From this awareness, I now schedule yoga, gardening and roller skating first into my week.   

Added bonus:  Over time, I realized that the more I enjoyed life, the more creativity energy flowed through me.  Feeling tense or experiencing a sense of dread is an indication that I lack necessary fun in my life.  That’s an easy fix!  I now have a list of things that will add spice to my weekly schedule.

Journal your gap

I intuitively knew from an early age that expressing my thoughts in a journal is the key to minding the gap (my feelings).  

Witnessing your thoughts on paper allows you the opportunity to make changes, respect how you feel, and stop ignoring them.  

Here are a few journal prompts that will help you start minding your gap…

What do you feel?

How do you feel right now, tense or relaxed?

Is there something that inspires you? 

Are you loyal to something?

What do you avoid?

When do you feel most alive?

I can help

I enjoy sharing what I’ve learned from my personal growth journey.  One of my freebies is Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS, a free downloadable workbook.  In this you will get to know yourself better and mind your gap (feelings).  

It’s been my experience that hiring an objective listener helped identify where I was stuck. 

As your life coach, I will help you leap over the divide from what you think you should be doing to what you want to be doing.  I lead you through the four stages of change to fully get to know yourself.  

Your best years begin with a healthy dose of curiosity. 

Curious about hiring a life coach?   I invite you to schedule a consultation by clicking Ask A Coach below

Here’s to not only minding the gap, but embracing a fresh start like the badass you are!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of Reinvention and Certified Life Coach helping midlife women answer the question, "What's next?"

Restless?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping midlife women answer the question, what's next.

Do you feel restless?

The season of midlife is often an unchartered territory.  Many of my clients are experiencing a lack of structure and/or purpose for the first time in their life.  Thoughts of uncertainty often causes you to feel restless.  

You might be restless if…..

You’ve downsized your home or retired from a career.  

The calendar is open and nothing seems predictable, when it once was overbooked.  

Restlessness may even be a form of boredom and loneliness.  

Are you restless from a major life event; such as a wellness awakening or late life divorce?  

Of course you will feel a bit unsettled when you wondering to yourself, what’s next.

Take heart!  Restless feelings are not necessarily a bad thing!  

Don’t fight restless feelings

Argue for your limitations and they are yours.  ~Richard Bach

Restlessness is an indication of change.  Instead of indulging in confusion, answer the questions your restless feelings are begging you to answer.

Do you have a gift to explore?

What dreams did you dream as a child?

What do you love about yourself?

How can you live your best life?

The big questions

My dream had always been to open an antique store.  I remember cutting out articles of Better Homes and Gardens.  I can clearly see in my mind’s eye an article with a happy shop owner sweeping the sidewalk outside her store that I cut out about twenty years ago.  

My vision became a reality in March of 2015, on a beautiful spring day.  I opened my little store in Burton, with all my favorite people surrounding me for a ribbon cutting ceremony.  It was a dream come true. 

I closed that story book chapter of my life in November of 2018.  As that season ended, I had to accept the ending and allowed myself to grieve the loss of my dream.  

This wasn’t my first rodeo.  I’ve experienced drastic changes several times in my life.  I knew it was another opportunity to embrace change.  Eventually, I was reminded how resilient I truly am.   

To move past the restless feelings associated with change, you need to answer the big questions.

What’s now?  

What’s next?  

Stop and ask yourself these two questions and notice where your mind goes?  

Surf the shift

This requires imagination.  If you don’t have it, borrow the imagination of someone you admire.  What do they believe about change?  How do they feel about this season?  How have they show up for life?

Think of imagination as a surfboard, just hop on the board and ride wave of possibilities.  

When you surf the shift, you’ll discover how resilient you are!

Find you future

In the course of reinventing my life numerous times, I have identified four stages of change that can help you navigate uncharted territory.  

What you believe you embody.  I help my clients redefine what’s possible in this season.  

I can help you rise above any BS regarding your possibilities, so you can stop wasting precious time.  

Find your future!

What are you waiting for?  Schedule a consultation today by clicking my calendar link below.  I can help you answer the big questions, what’s now and what’s next?

Here’s to shifting past restless to resilient!  Ride the wave of possibilities!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing YES in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of Reinvention and Certified Life Coach helping midlife women answer the question, "What's next?"

Of course you feel

Of course your sad!

I had a fun-filled week with my daughter and grand babies, creating amazing memories!  When they boarded the airplane to return to Michigan, I couldn’t hold back the tears. Of course I was sad.

Yep, it was an ugly cry.  I didn’t fight it because I thought to myself, “of course your sad.”  Once I got into my car, I allow all the sadness to wash over me like a wave in the ocean.  It came from a place of love.  And once I let it out, I was ok to drive home.  

Do you allow your emotions or stuff them, or even worse, beat yourself up for having them?

I teach my clients to observe their emotions and respond with, “of course I feel…”

A time for every emotion

Ecclesiastes teaches us that there is a time for everything, a season for every activity under the sun.  A time to weep and a time to laugh.  A time to mourn and a time to dance.  

When we loose a loved one, we actually want to feel sad.  Of course you grieve.  

Of course you feel unimaginable joy when you spend time with grand children.  

How do you know joy without sorrow? 

Have you ever just sat with an emotion?  

Unwanted emotions are apart of your journey.   In fact, you are supposed to have them.  

So, instead of freaking out and resisting the emotion, simply allow it (sit with it).  

When you are curious, you will begin to realize that they exist to teach you something.  

Conversely, when you resist emotions you create suffering.

Next time you are angry, take a pause.  Where do you feel the emotion in your body? 

Sit with your anger without judgement and you’ll notice it’s vibration in your body eventually pass. 

One day at the park, Arthur was having so much fun swinging that he wasn’t ready to move onto something else when we were.  In upset he literally threw himself on the ground.  My daughter and I walked a safe distance away and just watched.  After the initial anger left, he joined us.  Within a short time, he was laughing and enjoying himself again.  It didn’t ruin his day!

Of course you feel!

The next time you experience an unwanted emotion, say to yourself of course I feel (sad, mad, jealous, frustrated…).  Then ask yourself what’s going on?

Negative emotion highlights what you don’t want, and help you become aware of what you do want.   

Observing my grand kiddos for a week, I notice they didn’t have a problem with emotions.  In fact, they were in touch with exactly how they felt at all times.  

I can help!

I’m not suggesting that you wallow in misery.

I teach my clients how to process unwanted emotions.  

When you are willing to feel any emotion, there is nothing you can’t conquer in your life.  

In fact, you can even build new pathways to embrace discomfort and decide what you want to feel on purpose.

Often when we find ourselves wallowing, buffering with food or alcohol, worrying or procrastinating it is a sign that we are not dealing with unwanted emotions.  

Hiring me as your life coach will help you process the unwanted emotions faster and empower you to no longer dread or beat yourself up for being human.  

If this resonates with you, simply click my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you.   This will schedule a consultation for you to discuss how coaching can help you and if I’m a right fit for you.  

Here’s to the occasional ugly cry… because it’s ok to feel sad.  

~Tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of Reinvention and Certified Life Coach helping midlife women answer the question, "What's next?"
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