Finally, ditch the audition of other people’s opinion

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of midlife reinvention and certified life coach, encouraging YOU to ditch the audition and define the role YOU want to play in the universal story.

Have you spent your whole life trying to measure up?  Finally, midlife is the perfect time to ditch the audition of other people’s opinion and decide YOUR role in the universal story. 

Far too many midlife women I speak to are stuck thinking do I belong or struggling with the idea that they are either not enough or too much.  These fears keep you on the sideline of life, or worse allow others to define your life.  

“If your aim is to prove I am ‘enough,’ the project goes on to infinity because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable.”  ~ Nathaniel Brandon 

Decide you are in, and definitely not put yourself out!

The audition

According to Victoria Castle in her book The Trance of Scarcity,

“The trouble is, most of us are convinced that we didn’t make the cut, that we don’t belong, so we spend all our time either auditioning for other’s approval, hoping we’ll be included, or pretending not to care wether we’re in or out.

I spent my whole life auditioning for the parts that I felt would make me feel significant.  The audition has shown up in my life in a variety of ways.  Maybe you can relate.  

In high school I was friends with everyone, but never really fit in a specific group.  I was in the background feeling that I didn’t quite belong.  After high school I decided that I could start over as a confident outgoing person.  

Funny story, while in technical school for the Air Force, I showed up to a community room and boldly announced that I was going to the movies, inviting all who wanted to join me.  Jeff took me up on the offer and we’ve been together ever since.  

Over time, I allowed the feeling of not belonging to sneak back into my social life.  It took me nearly fifty years to ditch the audition of other people’s opinions and define the role I wanted to play in the universal story.  

Popularity Contest   

Social media artificially creates roles for us to audition.  Not many people display their crazy on their social media platforms, but curate their life as to win a popularity contest.  If you are not careful, you’ll measure your worth in followers, friends, likes, emojis, etc.

The popularity contest showed up in nearly every business I attempted.   Believing business is some kind of popularity contest that I had no chance winning, I took myself out of the game on numerous occasions.  I now appreciate the valuable contribution I have to offer and see how I can serve others instead of win their approval.  

You may not be business minded, but I bet you can think of ways this sneaky contest shows up in midlife if you let it. 

Other People’s Opinions

As I explained in my blog article: The Gift That Keeps On Giving, midlife is a gift.  Not only is it be a season of financial, time and failure freedom; it could be the season you start living for your own opinion. 

If you are living in fear of other people’s opinion, you are assuming to know what they think. 

First of all honey, they aren’t thinking of you.  Studies have shown that most people are really only thinking of their own life.  They are spending more time judging themselves than they judge you.

When you are worried what other people think, it is because you assume and fear the opinion they are thinking is true. 

Society expectations

I am dedicated to those who can’t be caged, living a life of a Gen.U.Ine Free Spirit.  

I’ve never fit in a box.  It used to bother me, but now I embrace it.  

There are numerous was society might have boxed you in.  Pressures to get married, not to get married; have kids, not to have kids; homeschool versus public education; go to college or the school of hard knocks; retire or stay in a soul sucking job….  Get the picture?  

Midlife is the season you can finally defy the cage and define who you want to be.    

End the audition in three steps

1.  Life is not a popularity contest when you genuinely love who you are.  I am proof that when you show up as your true self, you attract the people who are meant to be in your life.  Ask Jeff.

2. Create, and recreate, the role you want to play in the universal story.  There are no society rules or opinions that matter, but your own.  Define your life from within.

3.  Simply get past your own bullshit story by listening to the stirring of your soul. 

Will you accept YOUR part?

If your soul is stirring, I want to encourage you to end the audition! 

So many women I work with are at the precipice of change and need to pivot, but worry about what other people think of them or fear they won’t belong.  I can help!  

Schedule a FREE session to chat with me about rising above your midlife bullshit, including the opinion of others.  I can help you identify where you are, the lies you are believing and how to navigate forward.  

It is time you defined midlife and the role you play in the universal story.  If you hang with me long enough I will convince you that your best days are ahead.  

Here’s to a life defined within!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women get past their midlife BS to create an amazing 2nd half.
CIRCA 2008 – biker babe season

The gift that keeps on giving.  No, I’m not talking about a STD, but a life season that first appears as a quandary, but is actually a gift.

Let me explain…

When you think of midlife do you first think of crisis?  These days a midlife crisis is not reserved for men in their 40’s and 50’s, but women are also throwing all caution to the wind for what makes them feel young and carefree.  Not to be outdone, the millennials are now claiming a quarter life crisis for different reasons.  GEESH.  

So, what is this really all about?  According to John Mayer, it might just be a stirring of the soul.    The quandary seems to be, am I living it right?

Ditching responsibility for fun seems to be the answer to the stirring of the soul at midlife, at least for those souls who misunderstand the gift.   

Biker Babe

Ditching responsibility certainly felt right while on the back of Jeff’s Harley Davidson riding through the Blue Ridge Mountains with the wind blowing through my hair.  

Ok I’ll admit, I had my own melt down in my early 40’s.  Jeff and I were dealing with the housing crash of 2008.  Real estate investing was yet another business I tried and failed at.  It was a very stressful time for both of us.

Thankfully, we were able to ride out the stress together, on the back of Jeff’s Harley.  I loved escaping life on his Harley!  I felt like a badass biker babe in all my leather gear.  

Harley Davidson has some of the best commercials.  And just like this commercial, Jeff and I were going where the wind took us, believing in going our own way.  It was a time to buck the system that was built to smash individuals like bugs on a windshield.  And God knows I wanted to stick it to the MAN!  OH, FREEDOM!  {Jeff might come home to a new Harley… forgot how much I loved it}

The problem was that when we returned home from trips to the Blue Ridge Mountains, we still had major problems to solve.  

The Gift

This biker babe believes that midlife is what you make it, and it can be one hell of a ride!  It is THE gift that keeps on giving if you choose to believe your best years are ahead.  

If life expectancy is around 100, you may have approximately 50 years of life ahead, with the invaluable advantage of life experience behind you.  Think about it.   

What are the gifts of midlife?

1. Financial Freedom

Generally speaking, midlife is a season with more disposable income than ever before.  

I can remember balancing the checkbook after Jeff got paid as a young airmen in the Air Force.  We often had $15 to our name for the next two weeks, of which we’d go get pizza.  Thank God, thirty years later we don’t have the pressure of lack.  Jeff and I make more money than we could have imagined in our twenties.  

On top of earning more than we once thought was possible; Jeff and I have learned from our epic financial failures.  Don’t get me wrong, I am still uncovering faulty money beliefs, but I have the time and resources to work through them!

The gift of midlife is that you can afford to relax the fear of lack, using your well earned financial maturity to fully live.  So, there is money to travel or invest in hobbies, or take off on a Harley!

2. Time Freedom

Even though the house is eerily quiet, you’ll notice this season offers autonomy. 

The kids have flown the coop {or you did – see my story}.  You are retired, or close to it. Although, I found that I am getting up earlier than I did when I was forced to follow a schedule, there really is no need for an alarm clock.  

Once you get past the shock of an empty nest, you start to fill your time with things you’ve always wanted to do.  There is now freedom to develop your own circadian rhythm and to explore what sets your heart free.  

God forbid the kiddos move back home, then move out, then move back home, and finally move out again.  You LOVE them, but you start to thoroughly enjoy freedom of time!

3. Failure Freedom {aka wisdom}

We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us. ~Marcel Proust

Hopefully, you have figured out by midlife that a failure is just a stepping stone, a lesson learned.  You aren’t a failure because you have a set back.  It is an event.  

Ok, I know you don’t get a mystic pass from failures at midlife.  It is naive to think you can avoid them, but failure do not paralyze you any longer. 

In addition to midlife wisdom, the opinions of others simply don’t factor into our choices as much as they once did.  What other people think of your decisions is none of your business.  In fact, some of us badass midlife women relish in giving “them” something to talk about!  {ok… maybe that’s just me}

You get it, but can’t quite embrace it    

You may want an interesting life, just without the midlife crisis.  Me too!  Although, I am scheming ways to get Jeff a new Harley, so we can escape into the sunset.  🤔

Viewing midlife as a gift might make sense, but are you still unsure that you can embrace it?  Is there still a sneaky feeling that you missed the window of opportunity, as if dreams are reserved for the youth? 

This is where I can help!  As a master of reinvention, I can help you get past your own bullshit to believe it is possible to create your life.  If you hang out with me long enough, I will convince you that your best years are ahead!  

I offer a FREE session to those of you who have a stirring in your soul.  I’d love to chat with you about where you are currently and where you’d like your life to be.  I can help you rise about your own BS to start creating!

As always, I am dedicated to those who can’t be caged.  Here’s to midlife freedom, the gift that keeps on giving!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Is it ever Too Late To Ignite Your Flame?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach reawakening dreams of women in their second half.  Let her help you ignite your flame.

Is it ever too late to ignite your flame?  

It is not too late to ignite the flame of my dreams. My flame ignited this week when I was coached by Janet, a 70 year young certified life coach at The Life Coach School.  It was a real fan girl moment for me, and a sign from the universe that I was on the right path.

Back in June, I had the opportunity to hear Janet teach on becoming future focused.  She encouraged her students to fill in the question, “Wouldn’t it be amazing if…?”  

She used herself as an example.  Always wanting to be a lead singer in a band, Janet started asking herself, “Wouldn’t it be amazing if I were a lead singer in a band?”  Janet casually mention her vision to a guy who was in a local band.  A week after their chat he called and asked if she would be interested in leading a song.  Their band had a song that needed a female voice.  She said, “YES.  And YES!”  At 70 years young, Janet was a lead singer in a band!  

BTW:  Janet also wrote her first book at 65.  What an inspiration!  It is never too late to light your flame.  

When it is not easy  

During the coaching session, Janet posed really good questions that revealed a belief that had blocked my progress.  

I expected my goals to be easy.  After YEARS of struggling, I wanted this one thing to be easy. 

Why do I want it to be easy?  Maybe I think I’ve earned easy or easy would mean that I finally got my shit together.  Most likely it is a fear of an unknown future based on my long history of unmet expectations.  It is difficult to create anything new from defeat. I needed to ignite my passion for the unknown.

Living with the flames of passion

There is no playbook or manual for midlife.  You get to decide what is possible and worthy of your energy.   

It is perfectly normal to look to the past for all the reasons things won’t work.  The mind is really great at protecting you from the flame.  

After serious thought work, I decided that I’d rather be living with a flame of passion and embrace the unknown.  It’s ok if my goals aren’t handed to me, as if age has earned me an easy ticket.   

I can handle obstacles with ease instead of expecting everything to be easy.

Ignite midlife

Midlife is not the time to dim your flame, but ignite a vibrant life full of possibility and adventure.

Envision dancing around a fire at night on a beach with a tribe of midlife souls refusing to be snuffed out by age or any fear of the future.  No matter what ignites this flame, you will intuitively know that you can handle all uncomfortable growth with ease.  You are surrounded by women who know their strength and are flaming a midlife reinvention.  

Reclaim your passion for life by training your brain to ask, “Wouldn’t it be amazing if….?”  

Allow your mind to focus on the possibilities.  Wouldn’t it be amazing if it were easy?  Wouldn’t it be amazing if I handled obstacles with ease?  Either are possible.

As you reinvent midlife, look to the women who have gone before you and are currently living with purpose.  I think of Janet, who is still asking herself the “amazing” question at 70 years young.  She is living proof of the possibilities.  

Dancing around the fire

I am the master of reinvention at any age.  Creating my life is rewarding, but not always easy.  And that’s ok. 

Are you stuck in a midlife funk with a boring empty nest or afraid of an unknown future?  I understand your journey and am passionate about helping you.  

I can lead you through a pivot and ignite your dream life.  If you hang around me long enough I will convince you that your best years are ahead.  

I offer a free consultation.  If you are ready to overcome your fears of the future, schedule a mini session by clicking on my calendar link below.  Simply choose a date and time that works for you.  

Wouldn’t it be amazing to dance around the fire together?

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

A 98.8% happier life

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women lead 98.8% happier lives.  Believe your best years are ahead!

Live a 98.8% happier life!

You can live a 98.8% happier life by busting three midlife myths.

Have you accepted that at a certain age you begin to fight a loosing battle with age?  What if you were actually entering into the best season of your life?  

I am a cockeyed optimist with uncommon energy.  

Without subscribing to rainbows or unicorns, but have learned tools that allow me to fully function through life’s good and bad.  

You can create a life that includes abundant wellness and realize dreams at any age.  

Have you accepted midlife myths?

It occurred to me that there are some common midlife myths accepted as truth.  What if they were simply not true? 

First, what thoughts do you actually have about midlife and aging?  Gathering your thoughts in a journal by jotting down all the thoughts that you have about midlife.     

Next, take a look at the thoughts.  Do you like the thoughts? Are they true?  Where have these thought and ideas come from?  

It is widely believed that our bodies are not separated from our thoughts or emotions.  This is why I preach Self-Aware is the first step to Self-Care.  It is time to let go of toxic beliefs.  Then frame, or reframe, what your idea of midlife is and create it!  

Three myths to bust in order to believe your best years are ahead

1.  Midlife means the beginning of a loosing battle with well being.

In her book Goddesses Never Age, Christiane Northrup, M.D. confirms, “physical deterioration occurs in large part because of the accumulation of toxins, which results in cellular deterioration and damage along with tissue and organ breakdown.”  

Yet, she also offers that the body is in a constant state of reinvention.  “You do not have to have the same physical body you had just a few years ago.  Every cell has been replaced.”

I am living proof of this!  In 2017 I decided to question the idea that our bodies have to fall apart in midlife.  I spent three years removing toxins from my diet and home.  In 2019 I learned to manage my mind. Thanks to this work, I am not the same person I was back then.  

You can achieve wellness at any age.  Your best years are ahead.

2.  An empty nest is boring and lonely

An empty nest isn’t lonely because I am there.

Typically women spend there lives between 20 and 40 tending to their families.  Without giving it a second thought, their schedule is dictated by work and family.  When their little birdies fly the coop, there is naturally a void to fill.  

Although change is rarely popular, a new routine emerges from the quiet house.  At this point in life, you are ready to make decisions about what your future will look like?  

Unfortunately, “we believe that if something great was going to happen, it would have happened when we were 20 or 30, right? It would have happened when we were in college or when we were going to school or whatever. That’s when all the amazing things happen. But what if we’re totally wrong about that?”  ~Brooke Castillo

There are several ways to look at an empty nest.  What if you decide to enjoy your own company and believe your best years are ahead?

3.  Time is running out with little options

Why focus on what can’t be done?  

I intend to bust this myth wide open!!!!  There have been too many examples of successful people who achieved greatness after the age of 40.  Success leaves clues.  Studying their stories encourages me to explore my own.  

Time will run out if you indulge in self depravation.  Midlife is the time to invest in childhood dreams, ideas that have took a back seat to the demands of family and what your soul longs to teach you.

What if you made each day count and believe the best years are ahead?    

The Crossroads

I am sure you’ve created a few midlife myths of your own. 

Are you at the crossroads, at a point in life when you are ready to make decisions about what your future will look like?  

I want to help you believe your best years are ahead!  Not only have I mastered the fine art of reinvention, I am a certified life coach that can help you bust the midlife myths.  

Self-aware is the first step to self-care. 

Schedule a FREE mini session today!  It is my life’s work to inspire midlife women to love their lives 98.8% more!

What midlife myths do you wish to bust?  Click the link below to schedule your FREE mini session!  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Just say “F’ It”

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.  Learn how to turn an "F' It" moment into a moment of hope!

Are you willing to vulnerably admit that at times of frustration you just want to say “F’ it”?  Yes, I admit that I use the F word on occasion.  

For instance, I might say it prior to the third glass of wine, or finishing the cake after the kids went to bed.  Does this happen to just me?  

“She realized that vulnerability was easier to wear than vanity.  So she stripped straight down to nothing. And set herself free.”  ~  Cara Alwill Leyba

This week I spent time wondering why the “F’ it” moments happen.  

My F’ It Moment

Recently, at a point when my dreams seem to be on the horizon but still so far out of reach, I had a major “F ’it” moment.  

I had planned my eating protocol for the day.  I knew I’d be meeting friends at my favorite winery, so I planned one glass of wine.  (famously naive)  At the winery, I had my planned glass of wine and then bought a bottle to take home.  When I got home my plans got railroaded, as if I can blame it on the circumstances, and proceeded to drink the bottle too.  The moment I opened the bottle I recall saying to myself, “Fuck it!” (not abbreviated)

The real reason I had a “F’ it” moment was not my evening circumstances.  Frankly, the real reason I felt the need to “F’ it” was my unrealized dreams weighing heavy on my heart ALL DAY.  

The next morning I awoke with the guilt of not honoring my planned protocol, and the familiar shame storm.    

I wrote in my journal:  I can’t seem to catch a mystic break.  God, I’m trusting you.  Please lead me to the gold-mine within.  

Then I came across another poem…  

Surrender

I want to breath in passion like air.  I want to fill my lungs with the magic and lust and possibility only passion brings.  And the feeling that is only available to you when you finally, fully, fiercely surrender.   ~ Cara Alwill Leyba 

Faith   

The absence of evidence is NOT the evidence of its absence.  Surrender to the mystery.

Surrendering is actually saying, “F’ it” in a completely different way.  It is breathing in passion like air and saying to yourself, “this just might work!”  What do you actually have to loose when you choose to believe notwithstanding the absence of evidence?    

Faith is a powerful emotion that helps you believe your dreams are worth pursuing.

It just might work!

The first “F’ it” has no upside.  It is just a familiar way to approach discouragement that leads to guilt and an inevitable shame storm.  Creative solutions are impossible to discover when your energy is consumed by discouragement.  

The second “F’ it” has HUGE upsides.  The thought “what if it works” produces a feeling of hope and leads to massive action.  

Here is what I’ve learned about hope this week:

Hope is not an accident.

You cultivated hope by allowing the mystery.  

The mystery is a little voice that whispers maybe, when the whole world is shouting no.  

This hope is an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.  

Hope is the charged emotion that elevates your dreams.  

Not forced, but ready to see crazy things happen!

What if you gave up entertaining the thoughts that cause fear and discouragement, the thoughts that lead to lack? 

Have compassion on your discouraging thoughts, noticing them without guilt or shame, and then simply release them.  

Surrender to the idea that it just might work, and to the mystery of uncommon creativity.   

This is my life’s work.  

Believing in possibilities and abundance is my super power.  Even when I suffer discouragement, my will to break through will not allow me to wallow in it.  I desire to cultivate a mindset that surrenders to fierce hope.

I am happy to share my journey with you in hopes that it inspires your journey.  As your life coach I will help you to reclaim your life, full of dreams and visions for your best years ahead.  

I’d love to work with you to develop a proper “F’ it” mindset.   

If you regret a recent “F’ it” moment that produced a shame storm, I know I can help you flip it to a “it just might work” mindset.  I offer a FREE mini session for those of you who are curious about life coaching.  

Simply click the link below and choose a date/time that works for you!  It just might work!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.  Schedule a FREE mini session to chat about how she can help you!

Four things I ditched for an epic midlife pivot.

Four things I ditched for an epic midlife pivot.  Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Four things I ditched for an epic MIDLIFE PIVOT!

A midlife pivot is another way of expressing a need to reboot & reclaim your life.  Midlife women experience this urge to pivot as they face an empty nest, COVID downsize, a recent divorce or the anticipation of retirement.  Can you relate?

“There is nothing more powerful or radical or stunningly, radiantly beautiful than a woman who chooses to rebuild her life.  Day after day, hour after hour, no matter how many mistakes she must now spin into gold.”  ~ Cara Alwill Leyba

I’m in the throws of a radical reboot, and love sharing my journey in the hopes that it will inspire more midlife women to choose to reboot, reclaim and rebuild.  In this article I will share four things I recently ditched to lighten my load for the long haul.  

1. Fear Porn

A common obstacle for midlife women is fear or worry, even when the scenario rarely turns out as bad as imagined.  Fear is a misuse of our imagination, usually based on past experiences.  

Why would you obsess about potential bad?  Could you be addicted to a state of being that drives worry?  Do you honestly believe the emotion of fear or worry has the power to manipulate outcomes?  

Protect your energy by projecting what you actually want in the future.  When you feel the emotion of fear or worry, declare to yourself, “I now know what I don’t want.  What I want is…”  Your life will pivot when you reframe worry and even eliminate fear.

I made the decision to eliminate fear porn in March as the world shut down for COVID.  I just knew that a constant barrage of news would not support wellness.  I allowed myself to stay informed, but balanced it with equal amounts of information that encouraged my personal growth.  As a result, I believe I made better use of the past six months, stayed in great health and helped my clients in the process.  

2. Smack Talk

Who is your worst enemy?  I hope you answered you.  

The chatter continually “talking smack” about you is inside your head.  Wonder how many of the 60,000 thoughts you think on a daily basis are kind thoughts about yourself?  If 90% of your daily thoughts are the same as the day before, it is safe to say that you beat yourself up worse than your worst enemy.  

I recently came to terms with the smack talk in my head and moved forward with two actions.  

First, I forgave my past self.  I literally journaled an apology to my past self and released her from all guilt and shame concerning parts of my personality I did not appreciate.  

Second, I decided to learn the lesson that was being offered.  A pastor once told me a long that lessons not learned will repeat themselves until they are finally learned.  There is so much wisdom in this!  Instead of beating myself up for a failure, mistake or habit, I seek the lesson.  I thank the lesson and love the opportunity for growth, and then release it.

Your life will pivot when you manage the smack talk.  This will give you so much compassion for your past self.  I encourage you to spend time thanking her for both the good and bad decisions.  

3. Approval of others

What other people think about you is none of your business.  

What if you could reduce the amount of energy you spent on the approval of others by developing a relationship with your past, present and future self?  My REBOOT & RECLAIM coaching package uses a three step process that allows you to truly love who you are.  You learn that you are worthy and lovable, because you decide to believe it.    

Look, I spent my whole life looking for the approval of others.  Oh the mind games we play!  I was left thinking life was a popularity contest I could never win.  

Even though it has taken me fifty years, I am grateful that I have learned to honor my past decisions, live in the present and create a future.  I love the woman I am becoming.  

Your life will pivot when you believe your best years are ahead and decide the approval of others is unnecessary.  

4. The How

“Logic will get you from A to B.  Imagination will take you everywhere.”  ~Albert Einstein

I know you like to have all your ducks in a row before you pursue your dream.  What if knowing how to get from A to B limits your ability to achieve your dream?

The blessings in life unfold as a mystery when you focus your energy on visualization.  What does the dream look like and how will you feel when you achieve it.  Experts agree that when you add charged emotions to your desires, you open yourself up to uncommon creativity.  The easiest way to create the future you want is to become the kind of person who creates the result.   

Your life will pivot when you focus on who you need to become to create the life you want.  The how takes care of itself and makes you unstoppable.  

Midlife Pivot

Do you have a desire to pivot?  What in your life are you willing to ditch?

As your life coach, I can help you reboot & reclaim your life.  Instead of focusing on things that no longer serve you, you can create the future you’ve always wanted.  If you hang around with me long enough, I will convince you that your best years are ahead.  

If the idea of living in your full potential excites you, join my REBOOT & RECLAIM.

I am offering personalized coaching that will guide you in developing an amazing relationship with your past, present and future self and create the future you’ve always desired.  

Click the link below and choose a date and time that works best for you.  Clicking the link will give you all the details you need!  

Here’s to an epic midlife pivot!

Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Living Vicariously

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping women live vicariously through their future self

By definition, living vicariously is imagining life through other people’s experiences.  You may have lived vicariously through your children, pictures of a friend’s vacation, or someone you admire.  

When I went on picking trips for my antique store I frequently had women tell me they were living vicariously through me.  While I was honored they followed my adventures, I always hoped to inspire them to fly free on their own journeys.  

I recently lived vicariously through my friend Michele, who treated herself to a resort vacation at Miraval Resort in Austin, Texas.  I was envious of the royal treatment she received at this luxuriously tranquil retreat.  Michele cast a dream for me that I didn’t realize my soul was longing for.  

Let me cast a dream for you

What if the next fifty years were totally directed by you?  

Well, it is NOT impossible if you step away from life on autopilot and the expectations of others.  

It starts with a little imagination.  Think of your life as the ultimate Pinterest board.  What interesting things do you want to learn?  Where would you live and travel to?  Who would you surround yourself with?  Who do you want to be? 

Can you picture it yet?

Where focus goes, energy flows.  

Most people focus their energy on the past.  They make decisions and predict their future based on what has happened (or did not happen) in the past.  The energy it takes to rehearse the past is very low and familiar.  

“How much creative energy is tied up in guilt, hatred, resentment, lack or fear?  The truth is that you could be using all that energy to re-create a new destiny,”  Dr. Joe Dispenza.

I teach my clients to process their past, but become future focused.  

Your Future self will be proud

What if you lived vicariously through your future self?  

You don’t have to look enviously to others.  Create a vision for yourself in your imagination.

What will she appreciate that you dreamed up for her?

First create your ultimate Pinterest life, then consider how the experience will feel; empowered, fortunate, free, blissful, authentic, carefree, calm, easy, expansive, mindful… 

The more energy you can attach to your future self, the more intimate you become with your future.  

Is your view of reality limited?

The mind is a powerful thing.

As you fill your mind with thoughts and add energy to the ideas, you actually experience the vision as if it were in real time.  The mind simply doesn’t know the difference between reality and fantasy.   

Have you ever experienced a physical reaction to a thought?  For instance, when I think about meals I had in Italy, my mouth starts watering.

Living Vicariously through your future self.

What happens when you unlock creativity by rehearsing the future you want in your mind?  The skills you need to thrive in the future will become important to develop.  Your future self’s opinion of your current choices suddenly matter.   Unexpected opportunities present themselves in a new awareness.  

Do you need a guide?

Have you caught yourself living vicariously through someone lately?  What is stopping you from living your dream life?  

I work with midlife women who want to believe their best years are ahead.  Learning to live with your future self in mind is a big part of creating that life you’ve always wanted.  

I’d love to help you activate your imagination and manage your mind to direct your next fifty years!  

Still unsure if life coaching is for you?  I offer a FREE mini session to chat about how I specifically can help you.  Click the link below and pick a date and time on my calendar that works for you.  

Here’s to living the best years!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Are you a Midlife Multipotentialite?

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their. best years are ahead.  Are you a midlife mulitpotentialite?

Are you a midlife woman who hasn’t figured out who she wants to be when she grows up?  Sure, you fit well into a mold for most of your adult life, but now your set free from traditional responsibilities and your creativity is going in a million directions.  If you resonate with this, you might be a midlife multipotentialite.  

You’re a woman with multiple passions to pursue.  This is not a problem.  What if your curiosity and creative genius is exactly what the world needs today?  

The Roost 

Opening our guest house, The Roost At Flown The Coop, was a dream come true.  I employ my passion for creating unique spaces, gardening and my gift of hospitality to encourage guests to slow down and relax for a well needed retreat from life.  I developed these multifaceted talents over the course of my lifetime.  

Our very first guest was an interesting gentleman who was curios about our story.  As I shared our vision with him, he offered that I might be a multipotentialite.  I had never heard the term before, but it peaked my interest. 

So what is a mulitpotentialite?

Our guest recommended watching Emilie Wapnick’s TEDx to get a better understanding of the term she coined.  After the twelve minute clip, I knew that my guest’s assessment was right on the money.  

According to Wapnick, a multipotenialite is someone with many interests and creative pursuits.  Check out her TEDX!  

Does this concept explain your inner wiring?  

“It’s rarely a waist of time to pursue something you are drawn to, even if you end up quitting.  You might apply that knowledge to a different field entirely in a way you couldn’t have anticipated,”  Emilie Wapnick.  

Mulitpotentialite Gene

I get the mulitpotentialite gene honestly.  

It was fun to text my Dad the TEDx talk and thank him for the MP gene.  He texted me after watching the talk that he couldn’t deny it.  Here are some of his life pursuits:  athlete, musician, husband, father, chef, hearing aid salesman (didn’t know this one), business owner, firefighter, woodworker, emergency room paramedic and suture tech, radio operator, gardener, etc.  He continues to work on multiple pursuits, it’s the way he’s wired.    

Some tips for the mulitpotentialite

1. There is no rush

We spend most of our lives hustling.  The midlife season is a chance to slow down and give your ideas a chance to blossom without the hustle.  

2. Embrace your many passions.

There isn’t something wrong with multiple passions.  This is the perfect time in life to explore things you never had time for!  

3. Look for interesting intersections

Some of your passions could intertwine.  Lessons learned from one pursuit could be helpful in another.  The intersection of passions can create powerful innovations.  

The Midlife Mulitpotentialite

If you are learning of this concept for the first time, like I did, you might feel relieved that you are not alone in the world.  There is nothing wrong with you, you just have multiple capacities.  Join the club!

It is my mission to help midlife women to believe their best years are ahead.  I can help you navigating through your multifaceted talents, gifts, ideas and curiosities.  

Schedule a FREE mini session if this resonates with you.  It is a 45 minute zoom call.  I can help you work through one idea or develop a plan to work through multiple ideas.  Simply click the link below and pick a date on my calendar.  It really is that simple.  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach


4 Things You Need To Know About Rejection

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping  midlife women believe their best years are ahead.  How do you deal with rejection?

Dealing with rejection can sting!  No matter your season in life; you will deal with the preverbal high school lunch room.  Let me share 4 things you need to know about rejection to finally kick it to the curb.

1. They don’t like peaches

“You can be the juiciest peach in the world, but there’s always going to be someone who doesn’t link peaches.”  Dita Von Teese

Jeff doesn’t like peaches.  He doesn’t like watermelon either.  I know, WHAT?  No matter how much I try to convince him of their juicy goodness, he insists he hates them. 

So, if you can’t control people’s choice of fruit or their opinion of you, why do you keep trying?

2. You believe you can control another person’s opinion  

What other people think about you is none of your business.  

You could spend your time trying to control what people believe about you, but let me offer you a little secret.  They really aren’t thinking about you.  Their opinion of you says more about their opinion of themselves.

It’s true.  Other people are busy trying to control what other people think of them, so they can feel better about themselves.  It never works.  

Don’t you wish you could have learned this truth during your high school lunchroom days?  

3. You don’t accept yourself  

I know what you are thinking.  How do I recognize rejection and not take it personally? 

A better question to ask yourself is why don’t you feel accepted? 

Trust me, I know what it feels like to want the approval of others, only to feel rejected.  I am a rebel.  I was born to buck the system.  I’ve taken several personality tests.  I am a RED/BLUE or an A/B depending on the chart.  I scored an 8/7 on the Enneagram test, the challenger.  Not many people know how to take a strong personality.  It took me nearly fifty years to finally love that I am fiery, with deep convictions.  That is who I am.  I feel accepted now, because I decided to accept myself.  Yeah, I may not be a cup of tea because I prefer being a shot of tequila.

When you rely on other people to make you feel accepted, they will always fail.  It isn’t possible for someone to create a feeling within you. 

Your thoughts about yourself is what create feelings of acceptance within.    

4. The things we appreciate will appreciate 

What if you developed your own opinion of yourself and recognize your full worth.   

Homework:  Make a list of twenty five things you appreciate about yourself.  Create this list in less than five minutes.  Don’t give yourself a chance to analyze the list as you go.  Step back and appreciate all that you have going for you!  

*Remember:  Self-Appreciation is not arrogance.  Arrogance is believing you are better than another person.  When you show up with self-appreciation you are offering all your gifts and talents.

Take creative control

Most women who reach midlife are sick of the drama of fitting into a mold.  The proverbial high school lunchroom has shown up more times than you care to admit.  Fitting into perceived molds is frankly exhausting.  

Midlife women conversely know that they are capable of hard things.  You can recall all the times you survived life’s trails.  So, why not ask yourself, “what do I want to create?”

Will you let the fear of rejection get in your way?

If you’re still resistant about the opinions of others, you know you have work to do.

I’d love to help you take creative control of your life.  It is my mission to help midlife women believe their best years are ahead of them.  

Schedule a FREE mini session with me.  It is a 45 minute chat to discover what is holding you back.  You may or many not be dealing with rejection, but I guarantee you it is a sneaky little thought or well rehearsed story that objects to your dreams.  

Simply click the link below and pick a date on my calendar that works for you.  

Let’s take the sting out of rejection!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach


I am

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.
My nickname is Fancy for a reason. 🙂

Fill in the blank to the statement: I am….

Do you believe other humans are better than you, but you want to believe you are 100% worthy?  Who decides your worth anyways? 

I shared on a recent Facebook Live my epiphany of my own worth after ruminating about a disagreement I had with someone I had respected.  My convictions were mocked. I completely understand not everyone needs to agree with me, but the conversation took a mean tone implying that I was less than.  

My coach helped me to clearly see the thoughts causing me to feel unworthy.  I had wonder if what this person was implying about me was true.  

Am I less than?  

Am I more than?

No, I am.

I am enough.  

Words do not define you

You do you.  Here’s the god’s truth, only you define you.  Unfortunately, you may have let words spoken by well meaning people define you.  

Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

My mentor, Brooke Castillo, coached a lawyer who let the words of a well meaning colleague determine the law she chose to practice.  Someone told this beautiful, well educated woman who immigrated to the United States as a young adult that she should not choose litigation because of her accent.  From that moment this woman believed that her accent was a determent to her success.  She resisted hearing that Brooke adored her accent.  I loved her accent too!  Who will she choose to believe now?  Why is it easier to continue the old story in her head than to embrace a new belief about her accent?

No matter what parents told you.  No matter what the kids at school told you.  Your boss, your spouse, your teacher or anyone you respect does not have the right to define you.  

Thoughts you have about yourself define you.  

I am enough

“Feelings are a shadow of your thoughts.”  jewel

Do you wondered how you would define your worth if you were skinnier, prettier or richer?  

The biggest lie you can choose to believe is that you have to change yourself to fit a mold to qualify.  What if you already qualified?  Your feelings help you reverse engineer your thoughts about yourself.  

How do you want to feel?  Changing your weight will not achieve that feeling.  Changing your thoughts will.  If your thoughts are like food, what are you feeding your body?  Junk food or whole nourishing food?

Give yourself permission

“Your worthiness is already at capacity, and nothing you have done or will do makes you less worthy as a human,”  Brooke Castillo.

You are 100% worthy.  You deserve the life you dream of.  

When you believe you are already worthy, you give yourself permission to live in abundance, confidence and self-love.  Your energy for life increases.  What you project to others changes. 

What have you waited your whole life to give yourself permission to do?  

I am

I know what you are thinking.  How do I change my thoughts?  How do I believe these radical thoughts about myself?   

You can tell me all the things as if you are reading the news.  I am unlucky, unpopular, have made mistakes, was not born into the right family.  I am too old.  You don’t know what I’ve been through.

These are the common thoughts that I help my clients work through.  I help you see yourself as who you want to be.  Who you are.  I help you create the life you want by developing thoughts that will energize you with confidence.

If you are ready to give yourself permission to to do what you’ve waited your whole life to do, let me help you.  Simply click the link below and choose a date on my calendar.  We can chat about what has always held you back and look at what will help you believe you are worth it.  

You are worth it.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky! 

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach