Four things I ditched for an epic midlife pivot.

Posted on September 27, 2020 by tiffany

Four things I ditched for an epic MIDLIFE PIVOT!

A midlife pivot is another way of expressing a need to reboot & reclaim your life. Midlife women experience this urge to pivot as they face an empty nest, COVID downsize, a recent divorce or the anticipation of retirement. Can you relate?

“There is nothing more powerful or radical or stunningly, radiantly beautiful than a woman who chooses to rebuild her life. Day after day, hour after hour, no matter how many mistakes she must now spin into gold.” ~ Cara Alwill Leyba

I’m in the throws of a radical reboot, and love sharing my journey in the hopes that it will inspire more midlife women to choose to reboot, reclaim and rebuild. In this article I will share four things I recently ditched to lighten my load for the long haul.

1. Fear Porn

A common obstacle for midlife women is fear or worry, even when the scenario rarely turns out as bad as imagined. Fear is a misuse of our imagination, usually based on past experiences.

Why would you obsess about potential bad? Could you be addicted to a state of being that drives worry? Do you honestly believe the emotion of fear or worry has the power to manipulate outcomes?

Protect your energy by projecting what you actually want in the future. When you feel the emotion of fear or worry, declare to yourself, “I now know what I don’t want. What I want is…” Your life will pivot when you reframe worry and even eliminate fear.

I made the decision to eliminate fear porn in March as the world shut down for COVID. I just knew that a constant barrage of news would not support wellness. I allowed myself to stay informed, but balanced it with equal amounts of information that encouraged my personal growth. As a result, I believe I made better use of the past six months, stayed in great health and helped my clients in the process.

2. Smack Talk

Who is your worst enemy? I hope you answered you.

The chatter continually “talking smack” about you is inside your head. Wonder how many of the 60,000 thoughts you think on a daily basis are kind thoughts about yourself? If 90% of your daily thoughts are the same as the day before, it is safe to say that you beat yourself up worse than your worst enemy.

I recently came to terms with the smack talk in my head and moved forward with two actions.

First, I forgave my past self. I literally journaled an apology to my past self and released her from all guilt and shame concerning parts of my personality I did not appreciate.

Second, I decided to learn the lesson that was being offered. A pastor once told me a long that lessons not learned will repeat themselves until they are finally learned. There is so much wisdom in this! Instead of beating myself up for a failure, mistake or habit, I seek the lesson. I thank the lesson and love the opportunity for growth, and then release it.

Your life will pivot when you manage the smack talk. This will give you so much compassion for your past self. I encourage you to spend time thanking her for both the good and bad decisions.

3. Approval of others

What other people think about you is none of your business.

What if you could reduce the amount of energy you spent on the approval of others by developing a relationship with your past, present and future self? My REBOOT & RECLAIM coaching package uses a three step process that allows you to truly love who you are. You learn that you are worthy and lovable, because you decide to believe it.

Look, I spent my whole life looking for the approval of others. Oh the mind games we play! I was left thinking life was a popularity contest I could never win.

Even though it has taken me fifty years, I am grateful that I have learned to honor my past decisions, live in the present and create a future. I love the woman I am becoming.

Your life will pivot when you believe your best years are ahead and decide the approval of others is unnecessary.

4. The How

“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” ~Albert Einstein

I know you like to have all your ducks in a row before you pursue your dream. What if knowing how to get from A to B limits your ability to achieve your dream?

The blessings in life unfold as a mystery when you focus your energy on visualization. What does the dream look like and how will you feel when you achieve it. Experts agree that when you add charged emotions to your desires, you open yourself up to uncommon creativity. The easiest way to create the future you want is to become the kind of person who creates the result.

Your life will pivot when you focus on who you need to become to create the life you want. The how takes care of itself and makes you unstoppable.

Midlife Pivot

Do you have a desire to pivot? What in your life are you willing to ditch?

As your life coach, I can help you reboot & reclaim your life. Instead of focusing on things that no longer serve you, you can create the future you’ve always wanted. If you hang around with me long enough, I will convince you that your best years are ahead.

If the idea of living in your full potential excites you, join my REBOOT & RECLAIM.

I am offering personalized coaching that will guide you in developing an amazing relationship with your past, present and future self and create the future you’ve always desired.

Click the link below and choose a date and time that works best for you. Clicking the link will give you all the details you need!

Here’s to an epic midlife pivot!

Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Do you have a zesty future?

Posted on August 23, 2020 by tiffany

I always love to have something zesty to look forward to.

This is a big year for me! I became a certified life coach, opened our first guest house and turned 50 years young. I’m actually very excited about my big milestone year. I truly believe this will be the best decade of my life. So many zesty things ahead!

Does your dreams and success have a deadline?

Honestly, it did bother me a little that it took 50 years to hit my stride. I found myself thinking, “I should be successful by now.” The word “should” is a red flag! Should we be anything?

I changed my thought to, “this is my season!”

Say these two thoughts to yourself.

“I should be successful by now”

“This is my season!”

When spoken, does each thought feel completely different?

The thought, “This is my season” creates a different energy and compels me to explore what I’m truly capable of.

AND SERIOUSLY…. Does success have a deadline?

It’s time to be zesty!

“A seasoned woman is spicy,” Gail Sheehy

There are so many examples of women who launched successful businesses later in life. Martha Stewart, Julia Childs, Vera Wang, Estée Lauder, etc. Even if you aren’t interested in starting a business in this season, these women are reminders that it is never too late to create the life of your dreams.

A seasoned woman is definitely not a rookie. She has experienced life and knows how to turn obstacles into possibilities. She has learned to be ok with her authentic self and has the confidence to BE zesty in every season of life!

What are YOU going to do?

The Pulitzer Prize winning poet, Mary Oliver once posed the question,

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with this one wild and precious life?”

This decade of my life will be zesty! I have learned the art of failing forward and am ready to create the life of my dreams through intentional thought management. I will be gritty, seasoned with both passion and perseverance.

I’d love to help YOU create a zesty life. Schedule a FREE mini session with me, someone who truly believes your best years are ahead.

Simply click the link below and choose a date on my calendar.

Here’s to living a ZESTY LIFE!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing YES in the sky!

Are you a Midlife Multipotentialite?

Posted on August 16, 2020 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their. best years are ahead. Are you a midlife mulitpotentialite?

Are you a midlife woman who hasn’t figured out who she wants to be when she grows up? Sure, you fit well into a mold for most of your adult life, but now your set free from traditional responsibilities and your creativity is going in a million directions. If you resonate with this, you might be a midlife multipotentialite.

You’re a woman with multiple passions to pursue. This is not a problem. What if your curiosity and creative genius is exactly what the world needs today?

The Roost

Opening our guest house, The Roost At Flown The Coop, was a dream come true. I employ my passion for creating unique spaces, gardening and my gift of hospitality to encourage guests to slow down and relax for a well needed retreat from life. I developed these multifaceted talents over the course of my lifetime.

Our very first guest was an interesting gentleman who was curios about our story. As I shared our vision with him, he offered that I might be a multipotentialite. I had never heard the term before, but it peaked my interest.

So what is a mulitpotentialite?

Our guest recommended watching Emilie Wapnick’s TEDx to get a better understanding of the term she coined. After the twelve minute clip, I knew that my guest’s assessment was right on the money.

According to Wapnick, a multipotenialite is someone with many interests and creative pursuits. Check out her TEDX!

Does this concept explain your inner wiring?

“It’s rarely a waist of time to pursue something you are drawn to, even if you end up quitting. You might apply that knowledge to a different field entirely in a way you couldn’t have anticipated,” Emilie Wapnick.

Mulitpotentialite Gene

I get the mulitpotentialite gene honestly.

It was fun to text my Dad the TEDx talk and thank him for the MP gene. He texted me after watching the talk that he couldn’t deny it. Here are some of his life pursuits: athlete, musician, husband, father, chef, hearing aid salesman (didn’t know this one), business owner, firefighter, woodworker, emergency room paramedic and suture tech, radio operator, gardener, etc. He continues to work on multiple pursuits, it’s the way he’s wired.

Some tips for the mulitpotentialite

1. There is no rush

We spend most of our lives hustling. The midlife season is a chance to slow down and give your ideas a chance to blossom without the hustle.

2. Embrace your many passions.

There isn’t something wrong with multiple passions. This is the perfect time in life to explore things you never had time for!

3. Look for interesting intersections

Some of your passions could intertwine. Lessons learned from one pursuit could be helpful in another. The intersection of passions can create powerful innovations.

The Midlife Mulitpotentialite

If you are learning of this concept for the first time, like I did, you might feel relieved that you are not alone in the world. There is nothing wrong with you, you just have multiple capacities. Join the club!

It is my mission to help midlife women to believe their best years are ahead. I can help you navigating through your multifaceted talents, gifts, ideas and curiosities.

Schedule a FREE mini session if this resonates with you. It is a 45 minute zoom call. I can help you work through one idea or develop a plan to work through multiple ideas. Simply click the link below and pick a date on my calendar. It really is that simple.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

4 Things You Need To Know About Rejection

Posted on August 9, 2020 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead. How do you deal with rejection?

Dealing with rejection can sting! No matter your season in life; you will deal with the preverbal high school lunch room. Let me share 4 things you need to know about rejection to finally kick it to the curb.

1. They don’t like peaches

“You can be the juiciest peach in the world, but there’s always going to be someone who doesn’t link peaches.” Dita Von Teese

Jeff doesn’t like peaches. He doesn’t like watermelon either. I know, WHAT? No matter how much I try to convince him of their juicy goodness, he insists he hates them.

So, if you can’t control people’s choice of fruit or their opinion of you, why do you keep trying?

2. You believe you can control another person’s opinion

What other people think about you is none of your business.

You could spend your time trying to control what people believe about you, but let me offer you a little secret. They really aren’t thinking about you. Their opinion of you says more about their opinion of themselves.

It’s true. Other people are busy trying to control what other people think of them, so they can feel better about themselves. It never works.

Don’t you wish you could have learned this truth during your high school lunchroom days?

3. You don’t accept yourself

I know what you are thinking. How do I recognize rejection and not take it personally?

A better question to ask yourself is why don’t you feel accepted?

Trust me, I know what it feels like to want the approval of others, only to feel rejected. I am a rebel. I was born to buck the system. I’ve taken several personality tests. I am a RED/BLUE or an A/B depending on the chart. I scored an 8/7 on the Enneagram test, the challenger. Not many people know how to take a strong personality. It took me nearly fifty years to finally love that I am fiery, with deep convictions. That is who I am. I feel accepted now, because I decided to accept myself. Yeah, I may not be a cup of tea because I prefer being a shot of tequila.

When you rely on other people to make you feel accepted, they will always fail. It isn’t possible for someone to create a feeling within you.

Your thoughts about yourself is what create feelings of acceptance within.

4. The things we appreciate will appreciate

What if you developed your own opinion of yourself and recognize your full worth.

Homework: Make a list of twenty five things you appreciate about yourself. Create this list in less than five minutes. Don’t give yourself a chance to analyze the list as you go. Step back and appreciate all that you have going for you!

*Remember: Self-Appreciation is not arrogance. Arrogance is believing you are better than another person. When you show up with self-appreciation you are offering all your gifts and talents.

Take creative control

Most women who reach midlife are sick of the drama of fitting into a mold. The proverbial high school lunchroom has shown up more times than you care to admit. Fitting into perceived molds is frankly exhausting.

Midlife women conversely know that they are capable of hard things. You can recall all the times you survived life’s trails. So, why not ask yourself, “what do I want to create?”

Will you let the fear of rejection get in your way?

If you’re still resistant about the opinions of others, you know you have work to do.

I’d love to help you take creative control of your life. It is my mission to help midlife women believe their best years are ahead of them.

Schedule a FREE mini session with me. It is a 45 minute chat to discover what is holding you back. You may or many not be dealing with rejection, but I guarantee you it is a sneaky little thought or well rehearsed story that objects to your dreams.

Simply click the link below and pick a date on my calendar that works for you.

Let’s take the sting out of rejection!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

Be unrealistic about age and get what you want

Posted on August 2, 2020 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping women believe their best years are ahead. Be unrealistic and get what you want. — “You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream.” C.S. Lewis

Now that you’ve entered the season labeled midlife, do you fear it’s unrealistic to create something new at your age?

Many clients of mine share a fear that age limits their ability to create something new. I believe the opposite. Your best years are ahead. Finding yourself at the end of one season is an exciting opportunity to make decisions about life in the next season.

Of course you are capable of learning new things and creating your life as you would like it to be.

According to Marie Forleo, “Everything is figure-outable.”

What if being unrealistic IS the answer to creating something new?

What is the first thing your mind offers when you decide to create something new? All the reasons it can’t work, all the reasons it isn’t a good idea and all the reasons it isn’t reasonable. Yep, your mind is very clever in keeping you safe and secure.

When you spend your time considering all that your brain offers, you fail ahead of time. You stop yourself before you even get started.

So, trick you brain. Agree with it. Don’t give it anything to argue with.

Agree with your brain that your new idea might not work, there will be obstacles and it could be completely unrealistic. Decide to appreciate all the lessons and proceed anyways.

Remind your brain the only way to create anything new is through trail and error.

The fail factor

Should we fail on purpose? Of course not!

Brooke Castillo teaches in her eight week Business Course there are two different types of failures, escape failures and worthy failures.

Escape failures

Are you curios about why you don’t keep your word or follow through with your decisions? Escape failures are a form of avoiding what is needed to realize your new creation and choosing to fail ahead of time.

Examples:

Making excuses for not following through with a commitment
Indulging in confusion about the next step
Changing your mind
Not planning ahead of time, protecting your calendar
Any form of perfection is an escape failure
Waiting until your ready or have learned every aspect

Worthy failures

Worthy failures are not caused by inaction, but by taking a step forward.

“We were never taught to fail. We are taught that F’s are bad growing up. This programming has contributed to steering away from starting things and changing,” Brooke Castillo.

For example, this past week I conducted my first FREE workshop on Self Appreciation. I spent hours deciding what to teach, gathering information, putting it into an understandable form, etc. I enthusiastically marketed the workshop, but only had a couple people show up to the live event. Was that a failure? NO! No, it was not a failure. I learned better ways to approach the next workshop and will continue to market the replay, which will reach untold amount of women.

You can check our my Self Appreciation Workshop by clicking here: SELF APPRECIATION WORKSHOP

Never tried.
Ever failed.
No matter.
Try again.
Fail again.
Fail better.
Samuel Beckett

Get crystal clear

There will never be an age limit to creating something meaningful, but take time to get crystal clear about what you wish to create.

Define: What does it feel like once you create it? Who will benefit from your creation?
Objections: What makes it unrealistic? Go ahead and let your mind offer you the objections.
Solutions: Then answer the objections with, “That objection is true, but…” What skills will you need to create it?

Basically, allow your mind to define what you want to create, the obstacles in your way, and strategies to solve them ahead of time.

BE unrealistic, a challenge

Let’s be honest, being a little unrealistic sounds like a fun challenge.

I’d like to challenge you to a worthy fail. Well, not just one. I’d like to challenge you to write out 25 worthy failures you are willing to take action on. First brainstorm all the ways you could take action that will likely fail. From the brainstorm, pick 25 that you will commit to and then put the 25 worthy fails on your calendar.

Taking this challenge will inspire you to take the first step. By simply taking action, you will learn everything is figure-outable!

Let me help you!

I love working with midlife women who are ready to believe their best years are ahead. It is not a time to avoid the hard things, it is a time to embrace them with the self confidence earned at this age.

This past week I had the privilege to coach a beautiful spunky woman in her sixties who was was considering a new idea. We worked through her thoughts, feelings and actions around the idea. Afterwards I asked her what she thought she would be creating as a result. She lit up and said, “a new career!”

Sometimes you just need to be able to work through all the thoughts, feelings and obstacles to believe in the possibility.

If you are ready to break some of your own limitations, let me help you! Schedule a FREE mini session. It’s a 45 minute chat with someone who truly believes in your possibilities. It is also a great way to see if life coaching is for you.

Simply click the link below and choose a date on my calendar. It really is that simple!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

I am

Posted on July 26, 2020 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead. — My nickname is Fancy for a reason. 🙂

Fill in the blank to the statement: I am….

Do you believe other humans are better than you, but you want to believe you are 100% worthy? Who decides your worth anyways?

I shared on a recent Facebook Live my epiphany of my own worth after ruminating about a disagreement I had with someone I had respected. My convictions were mocked. I completely understand not everyone needs to agree with me, but the conversation took a mean tone implying that I was less than.

My coach helped me to clearly see the thoughts causing me to feel unworthy. I had wonder if what this person was implying about me was true.

Am I less than?

Am I more than?

No, I am.

I am enough.

Words do not define you

You do you. Here’s the god’s truth, only you define you. Unfortunately, you may have let words spoken by well meaning people define you.

Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

My mentor, Brooke Castillo, coached a lawyer who let the words of a well meaning colleague determine the law she chose to practice. Someone told this beautiful, well educated woman who immigrated to the United States as a young adult that she should not choose litigation because of her accent. From that moment this woman believed that her accent was a determent to her success. She resisted hearing that Brooke adored her accent. I loved her accent too! Who will she choose to believe now? Why is it easier to continue the old story in her head than to embrace a new belief about her accent?

No matter what parents told you. No matter what the kids at school told you. Your boss, your spouse, your teacher or anyone you respect does not have the right to define you.

Thoughts you have about yourself define you.

I am enough

“Feelings are a shadow of your thoughts.” jewel

Do you wondered how you would define your worth if you were skinnier, prettier or richer?

The biggest lie you can choose to believe is that you have to change yourself to fit a mold to qualify. What if you already qualified? Your feelings help you reverse engineer your thoughts about yourself.

How do you want to feel? Changing your weight will not achieve that feeling. Changing your thoughts will. If your thoughts are like food, what are you feeding your body? Junk food or whole nourishing food?

Give yourself permission

“Your worthiness is already at capacity, and nothing you have done or will do makes you less worthy as a human,” Brooke Castillo.

You are 100% worthy. You deserve the life you dream of.

When you believe you are already worthy, you give yourself permission to live in abundance, confidence and self-love. Your energy for life increases. What you project to others changes.

What have you waited your whole life to give yourself permission to do?

I am

I know what you are thinking. How do I change my thoughts? How do I believe these radical thoughts about myself?

You can tell me all the things as if you are reading the news. I am unlucky, unpopular, have made mistakes, was not born into the right family. I am too old. You don’t know what I’ve been through.

These are the common thoughts that I help my clients work through. I help you see yourself as who you want to be. Who you are. I help you create the life you want by developing thoughts that will energize you with confidence.

If you are ready to give yourself permission to to do what you’ve waited your whole life to do, let me help you. Simply click the link below and choose a date on my calendar. We can chat about what has always held you back and look at what will help you believe you are worth it.

You are worth it.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Rejecting Ageism

Posted on July 20, 2020 by tiffany

Have you heard the term ageism? You may not have experienced anything akin to discrimination, but you might have used it against yourself by buying into stereotypes. Have you ever limited yourself because of your age? It is a sneaky thing we do to ourselves when celebrate certain birthdays.

“You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved. But you won’t discover this until you are willing to stop banging your head against the wall of shaming, caging, and fearing yourself,” Geneen Roth.

Don’t bang your head against your age either.

I prefer ageless to ageism

“To be ageless is to defy the rules of what it supposedly means to be this age or that,” Dr. Christiane Northrup.

After reading Dr. Christiane Northrup’s book Goddesses Never Age I was inspired to forge my own path and make my own rules for the next few decades. Lucky for me I have wonderful role models. My parents are both health conscious and lead interesting lives. My Mom loves to say, “You rest, you rust.” Adopting an ageless attitude will help you flourish physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

How to reject ageism for agelessness

1. Find examples

You will find countless examples of midlife success by doing a simple Google search. I’ve studied well known people like Martha Stewart and Julia child. But, I love the stories of women who blazed their own trail without the fanfare of fame.

The documentary Fabulous Fashionistas highlights six spunky 80’ish women who refuse to stop living. These women wear Doc Martens and mini-skirts, and “don’t give a toss” about what people think of them. Jean Woods, 75 years young, runs several times a week on her new knee and got a job as the oldest employee of GAP. In their pursuit of life they all stay fit, aren’t afraid of hard work and have a steely determination. Their indomitable spirits are inspiring.

Betty White at age 95 remarked, “Don’t try to be young. Just open your mind. Stay interested in stuff. There are so many things I won’t live long enough to find out about. But I’m still curious about them.” She is definitely an inspiration.

2. Be aware

Who determines when your value diminishes? Do you feel invisible (a common complaint of age conscious people)? Do you have a shelf life?

Well, society and stereotypes will attempt to turn you to anti-aging agents, creams or surgeries to make you feel younger. Because you are “worth it.” I believe this propaganda is robbing you of who you really are, of your sense of self, wisdom, sense of usefulness.

Only you can determine your worth. You can allow the messages that younger is better, or you can reject the message as an outright lie. Once you become aware of what you truly believe about midlife, you can address these thoughts.

So, what sneaky thoughts have you noticed depleting your midlife mojo? Are you aware?

3. Breakthrough

“Our obsession with image is tiring, it’s never ending. Where as if our emphasis turns inward more, what really our life is about, what turns us on, what makes us feel electric, then that starts to glow outside.” Scilla Elworthy

At this point in life you can either think there is no time or energy for your dreams, or you no longer want to put your dreams on hold. One thought is energy depleting and the other creates energy.

A breakthrough demands a radical departure from some of your habitual thoughts. How would you show up to midlife if you could believe anything is possible? You are worth exploring this question. You just as you are.

Your best years are ahead

I truly believe your best years are ahead. This is the belief I’m building my coaching practice upon. I am passionate about sharing tools that will help you realize your best life, at any age.

If you can believe, life is ready to to give you a breakthrough. This belief is energy creating.

I’d love to help you create YOUR vision for midlife. So, I’ve made it easy for you to get started. I offer a FREE mini session for those of you who are curious about life coaching. Click the link below and choose a date on my calendar. It really is that simple.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

Perfectly Imperfect

Posted on July 13, 2020 by tiffany

Do you have a desire to create something new in your life, yet fear the discomfort of change? I’d like to offer the unconventional wisdom and beauty of perfectly imperfect.

Japanese culture has a word for the idea of perfectly imperfect. Wabi-sabi (侘寂) is a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is “imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete”.

Anyone who knows me can verify that I qualify for wabi-sabi. I love mismatched and well loved furniture that tell a story. I rarely wait until things line up perfectly before I launch a project. Going against the grain of society is usually messy.

No test, No testimony

When was the last time you allowed something to be imperfect? Can you remember a time when you really didn’t have a choice?

I was recently asked to give a ten minute talk on failure for my entrepreneur class at the Life Coach School. I prepared my talk with numerous testimonies and awaited the zoom call with enthusiasm. The day finally arrived. Out of four panelists, I was asked to present second. The first speaker brought up the term wabi-sabi. I thought that concept went well with what I had planned. It was finally my turn, but all I was able to share was a thought about being perfectly imperfect before my internet failed me. I failed at a talk on failure. Perfectly imperfect. The moderator moved onto the next speaker, promising to come back to me. After a brief freak out, I managed my presentation on my Iphone and presented last.

I restarted my talk with a Les Brown quote, “No test, no testimony.”

Later I received the sweetest message from the moderator.

“Hey Tiffany, way to roll with the tech and share such great insights! I loved the way you weaved in your own story throughout and made it so raw, real, and genuine. Way to be an example, and I’m so glad we got to learn from you!”

“When you are going through hell, don’t stop.” Les Brown

Are you uncomfortable with imperfection?

“It is normal and important to allow yourselves to be uncomfortable,” Brooke Castillo.

Discomfort is the currency of your success. It develops grit. Experts agree that if you don’t experience a little discomfort on your way to goals, you are doing it wrong. Stepping outside of you comfort zone is where real growth can occur.

Two types of discomfort

When you embark on anything new, your brain will offer you all kinds of resistance. You will immediately think of all the reasons not to move forward; excuses, confusion, not being perfect, etc.

Understanding the two different types of discomfort will help you navigate confusion and choose discomfort that serves you.

1. The discomfort of NOT growing into your potential.

This kind of discomfort is caused by thoughts that keep you stuck such as, “I’m not good enough” or “this is hard” or “this is not the right time.” These are thoughts that will not allow you to move forward out of fear of being imperfect.

2. The discomfort required to change.

This is short term discomfort with long term gains and will move you closer towards your goals. This is the kind of action that gives you butterflies in your stomach, like public speaking or trying something new.

Embracing imperfection

I have learned the secret of being perfectly imperfect. This concept has allowed me to flow towards the discomfort required to change and develop grit.

Growth that leads to success is not always the easy road to follow, but the rewards are worth it. You are worth it.

If you’d like to embrace the secret of being perfectly imperfect, I’d like to offer my help! I love chatting with midlife women who want to believe the best years are ahead. Schedule a FREE mini session by clicking on my link below and picking a date on my calendar. It really is that simple.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

What if life is NOT a problem to be solved?

Posted on June 28, 2020 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping women believe their best years are ahead. What if life was not a problem to be solved?

What if life is NOT a problem to be solved, but is actually a mystery to be lived?

I have talked to so many midlife women who feel there is a big question mark over their future.

Society, community and family traditions influence women in their journey. Women tend to neglect themselves in the service of family and career. After decades of doing for others, wether you stayed home or had a career, the end of that defining chapter is near.

There is no owner’s manual for this next season. This is what I call the midlife conundrum. The big question mark of “what do you do now?”

I think a better feeling question is, “who do you want to BE now?”

This new season is an opportunity for you to discover your truest self, to embrace the mystery.

Self-Aware is the first step in Self-Care

Getting to know yourself is the most transformative work you can do and will solve the midlife conundrum.

I am a personal growth junkie. Given the choice, I will read a book that dives deep into the human psyche over a juicy romance novel.

It is no wonder why I chose to become a certified life coach. If you are willing to do the work, I truly believe your best years are ahead.

What is your unique framework?

In my pursuit of personal growth, I’ve taken several personality tests. I am a RED/BLUE or an A/B depending on the chart. I scored an 8/7 on the Enneagram test.

So, I’m a challenger that shows enthusiasm, which is frustrating because I don’t particularly like being naturally driven with a direct personality. I enjoy parties, but hate being the center of attention, partly because I’m afraid of what might come out of my mouth with no filter.

Personality tests are interesting, but I never really knew how to apply the results to life.

It read my mail

I finally found a profile that gave me clear applications to my life and unpacked the mystery.

My friend and colleague, Lisa Scoffield recently introduced me to Human Design. It is a new service she is offering in her coaching practice. Human Design is a science that gives insight into your personality traits, your health, your personal psychology, your talents, your wisdom, and your vulnerabilities. When Lisa offered to run my chart, I responded with an instant YES!

Again, I geek out over these kind of things, but I never expected it to read my mail.

Pure Generator

I am a Pure Generator. My strengths are energetic, master of their work, sustainable energy and self-aware. My weaknesses are often frustrated, quits too soon, can’t make it happen and can feel stuck.

Lisa explained my profile with an in-depth thirty page report. As I read through it I started to have a-ha moments, and at times felt sad. I felt sad because I never fully understood the patterns in my life until I read this. I spent nearly 50 years believing I was broken and there is something seriously wrong with me.

Yes, I have a tendency of challenging everything from the school system, the medical system, society’s conditioning, etc. Weirdly enough, I have a sense of duty too. I am a work horse who will work until exhaustion. I am direct to a fault and a social butterfly, until I suddenly feel that I’ve had enough.

The most impactful revelation in the report is understanding how I am designed to make decisions. I’ve been conditioned to think I need to hustle and make things happen. My best approach for making decisions is to pause, listen to my gut and wait for a strong YES or a strong NO. My biggest fear is that I will wait and it will never come.

I now understand how I’m wired and how I can best show up in the world with my gifts. How I can be aware of my weakness, but shine through my strengths.

If you are curious about your Human Design Chart, I encourage you to reach out to Lisa.

Lisa is lovely and deeply committed to helping people live their truest self. Simply click this link and pick a date on her calendar: LISA SCOFFIELD

Deny your own wisdom?

Self-Aware is the first step in Self-Care. If you are willing to do the work, you will discover your truest self.

Coaching allows you to get in touch with what you already know. Don’t deny your wisdom.

My biggest joy in life is helping women believe their best years are ahead. Life is a wonderful mystery.

When you get in the habit of knowing yourself, there is no fear or limitation that could ever hold you back.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to help you! Take advantage of my FREE mini session. It is your opportunity to chat with someone who truly believes your best years are ahead.

Click the link below and choose a date on my calendar. It really is that simple!

Tiffany

Flip The Script

Posted on June 21, 2020 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping women believe their best years are ahead. Today she is chatting about Flipping the Script. — Embracing my grey hair! What parts of midlife are you embracing????

Your Script

Do you feel that you were handed a script to live by when you were young, but at midlife feel ready to birth something new? As the master of reinvention, let me offer you ideas to get your creative juices flowing and allow you to flip that script.

Here’s a fun exercise to stir those creative juices. If your life played out on the big screen, what would the title of your movie be?

Sex In The City

The Housewife of {your town}

Real Women Have Curves

Last Woman Standing

Unfortunately, the titles I typically hear sound like these instead…

Do I Deserve It?

Why do I Always Attract The Wrong Partner

They Just Don’t Like Me

I’m Too Old For This

All too often, women can not identify what they truly want. Has society conditioned women to assume what they should want? If you do know what you want, do you tend to believe you don’t deserve it?

Dear friend, please know you were born worthy. You deserve the desires of your heart, have purpose and are capable of far more than you can possibly imagine.

In fact, you are not doing anyone favors by staying stuck. You just need to flip the script.

How do you flip the script?

Ditch the old worn out story

The past does not equal your future, unless you live there.

Look, I am a self professed master of reinvention, with a stack of business cards to prove it. I could choose the title of failure, allowing the failures to prevent me from pursuing something new, or create a different future.

I prefer to be future focused. My future self will be so proud of the work I am doing today to flip the script.

Recognize your story

The daily “trinity thoughts” are useful prompts for journaling. I learned this exercise from Dr. Northrup’s book Goddesses Never Age.

“This exercise will help you remember how important it is to enjoy life instead of just getting through your To Do list.” ~ Dr. Northrup.

1. Something to brag about – wow! I had a hard time with this one at first. What are you really proud of? Can you imagine how good you will feel celebrating daily successes?

2. Something to appreciate – gratitude is a an attitude everyone could agree on. Look for something you appreciate about your life, your body and/or your tribe on a daily basis.

3. Something you desire – OK this is a muscle that needs to be flexed! I have gotten very clear on what I want in life by answering this daily. It might be easier to answer what you don’t want, but can you name one thing you desire right now?

Know the what and why, ditch the how

A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul. Proverbs 13:19

I long for the day Jeff can retire from his full-time job. {Some say be careful of what you wish for LOL} We both want to stay active with outdoors sports and activities. We will pursue projects that will support our retirement goals. I desire to spend more time with family and friends who live across the United States. So, travel is an important component. Although I am crystal clear on the what and why, I don’t stress over the “HOW”.

“When you know your WHY, you can endure any HOW.” ~ Viktor Frankl

A longing fulfilled is sweet for the soul.

Your heart is engaged by the WHY.

Dr. Martin Luther King had a “I have a dream” speech, not a “I have a plan” speech.

Tap into your imagination. Ask yourself, “wouldn’t it be amazing if…”

What comes up for you when you allow your heart to dream?

Can you get creative with a title for this dream?

Do you know WHY you chose that title?

Please, just don’t let the HOW choke out your dream.

Do you need a guide?

I have come to realize that I no longer fear death. I fear a life not fully lived, a purpose not fulfilled.

Do you feel stuck in an old script and fear you may not be fully living?

I’d love to help you flip the script. As a certified life coach I am trained in helping you identify the old worn out story that is holding you back.

Schedule a FREE mini session with someone who truly believes YOUR best years are ahead.

We can discuss where you are and where you would like to be, and then identify strategies for overcoming the obstacles.

Click the link below and choose a date on my calendar. It really is that simple!

Cheers,

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!