Rise Above Your Midlife BS

Where is the guide to midlife?
Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach, helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Have you found a guide for midlife?  Me neither. Although, I hear a lot of midlife BS. I’m just not ready to accept that midlife means I’m put out to pasture.

The problem my clients encounter is their inability to rise above their midlife bullshit.  Most women don’t even know they are sabotaging themselves.

Up until midlife, your pathway forward is usually laid out for you in a predictable way.  You graduate high school, then off to college or a trade school.  Maybe you went straight into the school of hard knocks, got married and started a family.  What ever path you chose, or was chosen for you, midlife finally offers a the freedom to explore options for the second half of life.  

Do any of the following BS thoughts sound familiar?

I’m too old to reach my ideal weight.

It is too late to find my dream partner.

Why should I start a business at my age?

There is no way I could travel alone.

An empty nest is lonely.

Life will be boring after retirement.

Who is this guy I’ve been married to for thirty years?

It’s inevitable that my health will decline.

I hope I can keep up with my grandkids. 

Which thoughts stand out to you?  Don’t beat yourself up over any of them.  It takes a lifetime to develop ways to sabotage yourself.    

I’m here to help you.  

After becoming aware of some of my own BS, I have created a workbook with thought provoking activities that will challenge your misconceptions about midlife and encourage you to try new things.

Finally, your pathway for a midlife pivot in less than an hour: a guilt free guide to rise above your own bullshit, even if you have a lifetime of BS to rise above.  

The best part is it is FREE!

Click the link below to get started!  

Here’s to the midlife adventure!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Why can’t you just get over it?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention.  Certified life coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.
Me… pulling up my big girl panties.

Why can’t you just get over it, if I can’t? The idea that a life coach has it all together and never experiences negative feelings is one of the biggest misconception I have encountered as a life coach.  As much as I would like to avoid unwanted emotions, I must confess that I experience ALL the good/bad and the ugly feelings available to the human race!  

Living in the Texas Tundra this past week has pushed all my buttons, and it got ugly!

During a coaching session with my coach {yes… coaches get coached!}, I bemoaned my dire situation living without water and experiencing rolling blackouts in frigid conditions.  I was heartbroken over canceling a trip to see my grandkids in Michigan.  I hadn’t taken a shower in four days!  

My coach patiently listened and then asked me what do you need right now?  I didn’t know.  I was just so angry!  She reminded me that I might need to stop resisting the anger and sit with awhile.  

It seems contrary to allow a “bad” emotion.  Aren’t we taught to pull up our big girl panties, stuff our emotions and quickly replace unwanted feelings with positivity?  

You might think there is something wrong with you and want to hide the ugly. The problem is the more you resist an emotion, the more power you give it.  

I should just get over it.

I should be able to get over it and pull up those damn big girl panties.

Friends, please don’t “should” yourself.  Feelings are apart of the human experience. 

It is actually not helpful to resist, justify or avoid the negative feelings.  Beating yourself up compounds the negativity.  You are not a bad person for experiencing a “bad” emotion.  

What you need in a funk is compassion.  Don’t be upset about being upset.  Simply think to yourself, Of course I feel….  

One of my clients was experiencing grief from the loss of her father, and anger over all the details left for her to sort through.  She had an a-ha moment when I gave her permission to grieve, and offered that of course she was angry.  Her grief may not totally go away, but she became aware of how it showed up for her, and sometimes it was with anger.  

In my situation, of course I was angry.  Busted pipes, no heat, and the isolation of being stuck inside is frustrating.  The more I tried to talk myself out of being mad, the more I actually perpetuated the anger.  

Sit with it.  

Allowing your feelings to exist takes practice, but once you get good at it you’ll be less likely to drink a bottle of Merlot to avoid the feeling.  

Caution:  I’m not talking about indulging an emotion.  Some women believe that worry is not only necessary but a badge of honor.  I’m suggesting for you to become the witness of your feelings.

A feeling is basically a vibration in your body caused by a thought.  You can become the observer of the feeling and not the reactor. 

Get curious about it.  Can you describe the feeling and where it is showing up in your body?  Does it feel like a rapid heart beat?  Is it a gut feeling?  How is your body responding to this feeling?

Instead of pushing it away, breath with it.  

What do you notice?  Can you begin to acknowledge that the feeling is harmless, simply a vibration that will eventually pass?  

Let it go.

When you identify the feeling and allowed it, you take the power away from it.  

This is a game changer.  You are no longer under the control of the unwanted emotions, but are in control of them.  

It is likely that once the feeling looses it’s power, it melts away and you will feel lighter.  

If it persists, ask yourself how do I want to feel?  

I had a thought that turned my mood around, When you argue for your misery you get to keep it.  Why was I arguing for my misery???

When my coach asked me, “What do you need?”  I needed to feel safe, cared for, assured that it was all going to work out.  Staying mad at my situation was not going to produce the feelings of peace I longed for.  I was able to look for the bright side after sitting with the anger and a proper cry. 

Giving you permission

I am the first to admit that I can be a pill.  I have irrational thoughts, stubborn beliefs and outbursts that I wish to avoid.  Becoming a life coach does not make me immune. 

Thankfully, I have learned how to accept crazy and unwanted feelings with compassion, knowing I have the tools to process them in a healthy way.    

I also acknowledge that some emotions are not an easy fix.  If you are be dealing with abuse or addiction, I highly recommend getting the help of a therapist.  

My intention is to give you permission to be human.  Feel all the feels that life has to offer.  Embrace the idea that occasionally you will feel uncomfortable and unwanted emotions.  

How could you possibly experience bliss if you didn’t also know that awful exists?  

I love helping women embrace life using the tools that I’ve learned.  If you need help working through this messy life, I’d love to chat!  Schedule a FREE session!  It is a one time Zoom call to see if hiring a life coach is a good fit for you.  Simply click the link below and pick a date/time that works for you.  

Here’s to being human and throwing away the damn big girl panties!

~Tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Question: Has beating yourself up ever motivated you to change?

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of Reinvention and certified life coach helping midlife women to believe their best years are ahead.
Pretty scary… LOL!

I wonder if beating yourself up ever motivated you to change. Let me explain…

As I headed to my morning Restorative Yoga class last week, I began beating myself up for ditching my fitness and eating protocol.  GEESH, why did I ditched my routine back August, 2020???  I could blame it on the emotional roller coaster of current events, or on family vacation, or on the holidays, but I knew deep down that I couldn’t blame my lack of fitness on any circumstance.  

As I drove myself to yoga the mental beat down continued.  Why had I let myself go?  I had lost interest and the energy to be dedicated to a work out routine. I was aware that beating myself up was not an effective way to get back on track, but couldn’t get a grip on the condemning thoughts that had taken up residency in my mind.  

Restorative yoga was the perfect place for me to take refuge.  I was forced to quiet my mind and enjoy taking care of my body.  As I nestled into the practice a paradigm shift happened.  I thought to myself why not try loving yourself into shape?  

Wait what?  Love myself into shape?  YES, of course.  The reason I want to be in the best shape of my life is so that I can enjoy longevity and an active life.  I reminded myself to take a deep breath.  It is possible to get back into shape.  You aren’t a lost cause.  In fact, last year you whipped your body into shape and enjoyed the process!  

My mantra came to mind:  I love choosing her 2021!  I’ll choose the woman that is both compassionate and completely capable of getting in shape. 

So, where did I begin loving myself into shape?

Create tiny habits

In the book Tiny Habits The Small Changes That Change Everything,  BJ Fogg explains a concept that has revolutionized my approach to creating feel good habits.  He suggests that our bad habits are not character flaws, but behavior designs that can be addressed in tiny steps.  In other words, we are not the problem our approach to change is.

Oh good, you can finally stop beating yourself up!

In his research, Fogg discovered three things that will create lasting change; epiphany, change environment, and change habits in tiny ways.   He goes on to explain tiny is fast, can start now, is safe, can grow big, and most importantly does not rely on motivation or will power.  

I created a tiny habit that is getting me back into planking form.  I make coffee using the pour over method.  It creates a great cup of java, but takes a little bit of time with each cup.  I’m usually barely functional when I make my first cup of coffee, but have a pep in my step by the second cup.  So, while I wait for my second pour over to brew, I set the microwave alarm for one minute and plank in my kitchen.   I then pat myself on the back and think, just a little habit that I can build upon.  Yep, it definitely feels like loving myself back into shape.  

Identify obstacle thoughts in advance

It is human nature to sabotage your best made plans.  We know what we “should” do.  But friends, please don’t “SHOULD” yourself.  Simply identify how you will likely sabotage yourself in advance.

You know yourself better than anyone else.  If you are honest there are times when you don’t feel like doing the thing that gets you closer to your goal.  You can use the Tiny Habit method to create habits, but there will be times when your mind will get highjacked.  

Identifying obstacle thoughts gives you an opportunity to create a strategy.  

For example:  At the get go, I am always enthusiastic about an exercise plan.  However, there are mornings that I would rather avoid the discomfort of working out.  My tendency is to think of a million other things that need to be done and skip the workout.  I KNOW these thoughts do not produce the result I am hoping for.  

To combat the obstacle thoughts, I have chosen two replacement thoughts:  

  1. I don’t negotiate with myself.  
  2. I love to choose her.  

Bonus thought:  I am a girl who loves exercise.  I truly believed this thought prior to August 2020.  I know I can work towards this thought again, because I love the girl who loves exercise. 🧘🏼‍♀️🚴‍♂️🚣‍♀️ 

The struggle is real

No need to beat yourself up.  You are not alone in resistance to change.  The struggle is real for everyone with a desire to create something new.  

Seriously, as I just passed the mirror I was tempted to make a mental note on how my sweater made me look huge.  Luckily, I stopped in mid sentence to think instead Tiff you are working on it.  It won’t take long before your in bathing suit condition!  

There are definitely steps you can take.  Tiny habits and identifying obstacle thoughts in advance are great places to start.  Hiring a life coach will also help you rise above your BS to create change in your life.   

If this is resonating with you, schedule a FREE session.  This is a risk free opportunity to answer your questions about life coaching.

Simply click the calendar link below and pick a date/time that works for you.  

If I leave you with anything, I hope you will stop beating yourself up!  You have the power to create your life and are absolutely capable of change, but do it from a place of genuine love.  

So, here’s to loving ourselves into shape!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Finally, ditch the audition of other people’s opinion

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of midlife reinvention and certified life coach, encouraging YOU to ditch the audition and define the role YOU want to play in the universal story.

Have you spent your whole life trying to measure up?  Finally, midlife is the perfect time to ditch the audition of other people’s opinion and decide YOUR role in the universal story. 

Far too many midlife women I speak to are stuck thinking do I belong or struggling with the idea that they are either not enough or too much.  These fears keep you on the sideline of life, or worse allow others to define your life.  

“If your aim is to prove I am ‘enough,’ the project goes on to infinity because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable.”  ~ Nathaniel Brandon 

Decide you are in, and definitely not put yourself out!

The audition

According to Victoria Castle in her book The Trance of Scarcity,

“The trouble is, most of us are convinced that we didn’t make the cut, that we don’t belong, so we spend all our time either auditioning for other’s approval, hoping we’ll be included, or pretending not to care wether we’re in or out.

I spent my whole life auditioning for the parts that I felt would make me feel significant.  The audition has shown up in my life in a variety of ways.  Maybe you can relate.  

In high school I was friends with everyone, but never really fit in a specific group.  I was in the background feeling that I didn’t quite belong.  After high school I decided that I could start over as a confident outgoing person.  

Funny story, while in technical school for the Air Force, I showed up to a community room and boldly announced that I was going to the movies, inviting all who wanted to join me.  Jeff took me up on the offer and we’ve been together ever since.  

Over time, I allowed the feeling of not belonging to sneak back into my social life.  It took me nearly fifty years to ditch the audition of other people’s opinions and define the role I wanted to play in the universal story.  

Popularity Contest   

Social media artificially creates roles for us to audition.  Not many people display their crazy on their social media platforms, but curate their life as to win a popularity contest.  If you are not careful, you’ll measure your worth in followers, friends, likes, emojis, etc.

The popularity contest showed up in nearly every business I attempted.   Believing business is some kind of popularity contest that I had no chance winning, I took myself out of the game on numerous occasions.  I now appreciate the valuable contribution I have to offer and see how I can serve others instead of win their approval.  

You may not be business minded, but I bet you can think of ways this sneaky contest shows up in midlife if you let it. 

Other People’s Opinions

As I explained in my blog article: The Gift That Keeps On Giving, midlife is a gift.  Not only is it be a season of financial, time and failure freedom; it could be the season you start living for your own opinion. 

If you are living in fear of other people’s opinion, you are assuming to know what they think. 

First of all honey, they aren’t thinking of you.  Studies have shown that most people are really only thinking of their own life.  They are spending more time judging themselves than they judge you.

When you are worried what other people think, it is because you assume and fear the opinion they are thinking is true. 

Society expectations

I am dedicated to those who can’t be caged, living a life of a Gen.U.Ine Free Spirit.  

I’ve never fit in a box.  It used to bother me, but now I embrace it.  

There are numerous was society might have boxed you in.  Pressures to get married, not to get married; have kids, not to have kids; homeschool versus public education; go to college or the school of hard knocks; retire or stay in a soul sucking job….  Get the picture?  

Midlife is the season you can finally defy the cage and define who you want to be.    

End the audition in three steps

1.  Life is not a popularity contest when you genuinely love who you are.  I am proof that when you show up as your true self, you attract the people who are meant to be in your life.  Ask Jeff.

2. Create, and recreate, the role you want to play in the universal story.  There are no society rules or opinions that matter, but your own.  Define your life from within.

3.  Simply get past your own bullshit story by listening to the stirring of your soul. 

Will you accept YOUR part?

If your soul is stirring, I want to encourage you to end the audition! 

So many women I work with are at the precipice of change and need to pivot, but worry about what other people think of them or fear they won’t belong.  I can help!  

Schedule a FREE session to chat with me about rising above your midlife bullshit, including the opinion of others.  I can help you identify where you are, the lies you are believing and how to navigate forward.  

It is time you defined midlife and the role you play in the universal story.  If you hang with me long enough I will convince you that your best days are ahead.  

Here’s to a life defined within!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women get past their midlife BS to create an amazing 2nd half.
CIRCA 2008 – biker babe season

The gift that keeps on giving.  No, I’m not talking about a STD, but a life season that first appears as a quandary, but is actually a gift.

Let me explain…

When you think of midlife do you first think of crisis?  These days a midlife crisis is not reserved for men in their 40’s and 50’s, but women are also throwing all caution to the wind for what makes them feel young and carefree.  Not to be outdone, the millennials are now claiming a quarter life crisis for different reasons.  GEESH.  

So, what is this really all about?  According to John Mayer, it might just be a stirring of the soul.    The quandary seems to be, am I living it right?

Ditching responsibility for fun seems to be the answer to the stirring of the soul at midlife, at least for those souls who misunderstand the gift.   

Biker Babe

Ditching responsibility certainly felt right while on the back of Jeff’s Harley Davidson riding through the Blue Ridge Mountains with the wind blowing through my hair.  

Ok I’ll admit, I had my own melt down in my early 40’s.  Jeff and I were dealing with the housing crash of 2008.  Real estate investing was yet another business I tried and failed at.  It was a very stressful time for both of us.

Thankfully, we were able to ride out the stress together, on the back of Jeff’s Harley.  I loved escaping life on his Harley!  I felt like a badass biker babe in all my leather gear.  

Harley Davidson has some of the best commercials.  And just like this commercial, Jeff and I were going where the wind took us, believing in going our own way.  It was a time to buck the system that was built to smash individuals like bugs on a windshield.  And God knows I wanted to stick it to the MAN!  OH, FREEDOM!  {Jeff might come home to a new Harley… forgot how much I loved it}

The problem was that when we returned home from trips to the Blue Ridge Mountains, we still had major problems to solve.  

The Gift

This biker babe believes that midlife is what you make it, and it can be one hell of a ride!  It is THE gift that keeps on giving if you choose to believe your best years are ahead.  

If life expectancy is around 100, you may have approximately 50 years of life ahead, with the invaluable advantage of life experience behind you.  Think about it.   

What are the gifts of midlife?

1. Financial Freedom

Generally speaking, midlife is a season with more disposable income than ever before.  

I can remember balancing the checkbook after Jeff got paid as a young airmen in the Air Force.  We often had $15 to our name for the next two weeks, of which we’d go get pizza.  Thank God, thirty years later we don’t have the pressure of lack.  Jeff and I make more money than we could have imagined in our twenties.  

On top of earning more than we once thought was possible; Jeff and I have learned from our epic financial failures.  Don’t get me wrong, I am still uncovering faulty money beliefs, but I have the time and resources to work through them!

The gift of midlife is that you can afford to relax the fear of lack, using your well earned financial maturity to fully live.  So, there is money to travel or invest in hobbies, or take off on a Harley!

2. Time Freedom

Even though the house is eerily quiet, you’ll notice this season offers autonomy. 

The kids have flown the coop {or you did – see my story}.  You are retired, or close to it. Although, I found that I am getting up earlier than I did when I was forced to follow a schedule, there really is no need for an alarm clock.  

Once you get past the shock of an empty nest, you start to fill your time with things you’ve always wanted to do.  There is now freedom to develop your own circadian rhythm and to explore what sets your heart free.  

God forbid the kiddos move back home, then move out, then move back home, and finally move out again.  You LOVE them, but you start to thoroughly enjoy freedom of time!

3. Failure Freedom {aka wisdom}

We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us. ~Marcel Proust

Hopefully, you have figured out by midlife that a failure is just a stepping stone, a lesson learned.  You aren’t a failure because you have a set back.  It is an event.  

Ok, I know you don’t get a mystic pass from failures at midlife.  It is naive to think you can avoid them, but failure do not paralyze you any longer. 

In addition to midlife wisdom, the opinions of others simply don’t factor into our choices as much as they once did.  What other people think of your decisions is none of your business.  In fact, some of us badass midlife women relish in giving “them” something to talk about!  {ok… maybe that’s just me}

You get it, but can’t quite embrace it    

You may want an interesting life, just without the midlife crisis.  Me too!  Although, I am scheming ways to get Jeff a new Harley, so we can escape into the sunset.  🤔

Viewing midlife as a gift might make sense, but are you still unsure that you can embrace it?  Is there still a sneaky feeling that you missed the window of opportunity, as if dreams are reserved for the youth? 

This is where I can help!  As a master of reinvention, I can help you get past your own bullshit to believe it is possible to create your life.  If you hang out with me long enough, I will convince you that your best years are ahead!  

I offer a FREE session to those of you who have a stirring in your soul.  I’d love to chat with you about where you are currently and where you’d like your life to be.  I can help you rise about your own BS to start creating!

As always, I am dedicated to those who can’t be caged.  Here’s to midlife freedom, the gift that keeps on giving!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Creating My Future in 2020

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women reinvent midlife

Creating my future in 2020 was made possible by an investment in personal growth in 2019.

2020 was the year I tenaciously launched a coaching business during one of the most difficult years in America’s history.  From the beginning I saw the lockdowns and the “Corona Coaster” as a blessing, allowing me time to create my future.  

What led up to 2020 was also a blessing in disguise.

When I closed my antique store Flown The Coop in November 2018, I sold everything, including all the fixtures, not knowing what the future held.  I watched little pieces of my dream go to help build the big dreams of new shop owners.  The whole process was bitter sweet.  

It was pure determination to correct my course in 2019 that influenced me to attend two Tony Robbins events and enroll in the Life Coach School to become a certified life coach. Those brave steps forward healed my broken heart and allowed me to build something new.  

As I look back, 2020 created a solid foundation for my new career as a life coach.  I wrote 44 blog articles, coached several women through the storms of midlife and solidified my commitment to my future self.

Year in review

This week I will share some of my favorite blog articles from 2020.  It was hard, but I narrowed it down to a blog article each day, with a bonus blog I think you need for 2021.  I don’t normally toot my own horn, but I can’t help but be proud of myself as I look over a year of consistently creating content.  I truly hope that I have inspired you this year and helped you believe your best years are ahead.  

Monday – A Future Created From The Future

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of midlife reinvention helps women reinvent midlife

It may appear to be pointing out the obvious, but the future is in the future and not the past.  

Life is just getting started for me.  I’m currently writing the next chapter of my story with a future focus.  

This past weekend my Grandma Maggie would have celebrated her 100th birthday.  She missed the milestone by only 2 years.  I turn 50 years young this March.  By her standard, I have another 50 to live!  {BTW: I turned 50 in March of 2020… that’s a whole other story}

You are either creating from your past or your future…

READ MORE

Tuesday – Busting Midlife Myths

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women reinvent midlife

Could it be possible that you have accepted common midlife myths as reality? 

It occurred to me the other day that there are some common midlife myths accepted as truth.  What if they were simply not true? 

A few myths worth busting…

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Wednesday – Get To Know Her

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping midlife women reinvent midlife

Do you ever wonder what your future self will look like and feel uncertain what she even wants, but on the other hand… you desperately want to believe the best years are ahead?

In this article I offer four ways to get to know your future self.

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Thursday – What If Your Dream Was Measured In Miles?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women reinvent midlife

What if your dreams are measured in miles?  At what mile marker do you let the dream die?

I explain the determination of a weed and the grace you need for your dreams, then offer three ways to navigate the extra miles.

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Friday – Reject Ageism

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women reinvent midlife

Have you heard the term ageism?  You may not have experienced anything akin to discrimination, but you might have used it against yourself by buying into stereotypes.  Have you ever limited yourself because of your age?  It is a sneaky thing we do to ourselves when celebrating certain birthdays.  

I prefer ageless.  “To be ageless is to defy the rules of what it supposedly means to be this age or that,”  Dr. Christiane Northrup.  

I offer three ways to reject ageism.  

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Saturday – Four Things I Ditched For An Epic Midlife Pivot

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women reinvent midlife

A midlife pivot is another way of expressing a need to reboot & reclaim your life.  Midlife women experience this urge to pivot as they face an empty nest, a COVID downsize, a recent divorce or the anticipation of retirement.  Can you relate?

“There is nothing more powerful or radical or stunningly, radiantly beautiful than a woman who chooses to rebuild her life.  Day after day, hour after hour, no matter how many mistakes she must now spin into gold.”  ~ Cara Alwill Leyba

In this article I offer four things you should ditch for an epic midlife pivot.

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Sunday – Unabashedly Love Your Life

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women reinvent midlife

Do you love your life?  I mean unabashedly love life?

Do you want to?

I am a cockeyed optimist with uncommon energy.  This is NOT my natural state, but one I am cultivating.  I choose to BE.

In this article I share a project that had an impact on falling in love with my life.  I knew this creative project would be easy for me.  I journal everyday and am crystal clear on my dreams.  What I didn’t realize was how my heart would be affected.  

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The Bonus

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women reinvent midlife

Next to my vision video, journaling has had the most impact on my growth from 2018 – 2020.  I think it is so important for your journey too.  I could not do a year in review without including my recent article, Four Journal Prompts That Will Propel You Past Your Resistance.  

If you want to create lasting change in your life, it is important to understand the three w’s: what, where and why.  Next to hiring a life coach, a daily journal habit is the best tool to help you get clear on what you want, where you currently are, and why you want the ideal life you envision. My four favorite journal prompts can help you past any resistance.

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Make 2021 Your Year of Epic Growth

In nearly ever blog I wrote in 2020 I offered a FREE mini session for those of you who are curious about life coaching. Through coaching sessions, I will encourage you to invest in your personal growth and awaken your dreams by creating an epic midlife reinvention.  

If you hang around me long enough I will convince you that your best years are ahead.  

I hope you don’t wait until 2021 is upon you, schedule a free mini session today by clicking the link below.  Simply pick a date and time on my calendar that works for you.  It really is that simple to get started on your dreams.  

Here’s to 2021 and continued growth!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Is it ever Too Late To Ignite Your Flame?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach reawakening dreams of women in their second half.  Let her help you ignite your flame.

Is it ever too late to ignite your flame?  

It is not too late to ignite the flame of my dreams. My flame ignited this week when I was coached by Janet, a 70 year young certified life coach at The Life Coach School.  It was a real fan girl moment for me, and a sign from the universe that I was on the right path.

Back in June, I had the opportunity to hear Janet teach on becoming future focused.  She encouraged her students to fill in the question, “Wouldn’t it be amazing if…?”  

She used herself as an example.  Always wanting to be a lead singer in a band, Janet started asking herself, “Wouldn’t it be amazing if I were a lead singer in a band?”  Janet casually mention her vision to a guy who was in a local band.  A week after their chat he called and asked if she would be interested in leading a song.  Their band had a song that needed a female voice.  She said, “YES.  And YES!”  At 70 years young, Janet was a lead singer in a band!  

BTW:  Janet also wrote her first book at 65.  What an inspiration!  It is never too late to light your flame.  

When it is not easy  

During the coaching session, Janet posed really good questions that revealed a belief that had blocked my progress.  

I expected my goals to be easy.  After YEARS of struggling, I wanted this one thing to be easy. 

Why do I want it to be easy?  Maybe I think I’ve earned easy or easy would mean that I finally got my shit together.  Most likely it is a fear of an unknown future based on my long history of unmet expectations.  It is difficult to create anything new from defeat. I needed to ignite my passion for the unknown.

Living with the flames of passion

There is no playbook or manual for midlife.  You get to decide what is possible and worthy of your energy.   

It is perfectly normal to look to the past for all the reasons things won’t work.  The mind is really great at protecting you from the flame.  

After serious thought work, I decided that I’d rather be living with a flame of passion and embrace the unknown.  It’s ok if my goals aren’t handed to me, as if age has earned me an easy ticket.   

I can handle obstacles with ease instead of expecting everything to be easy.

Ignite midlife

Midlife is not the time to dim your flame, but ignite a vibrant life full of possibility and adventure.

Envision dancing around a fire at night on a beach with a tribe of midlife souls refusing to be snuffed out by age or any fear of the future.  No matter what ignites this flame, you will intuitively know that you can handle all uncomfortable growth with ease.  You are surrounded by women who know their strength and are flaming a midlife reinvention.  

Reclaim your passion for life by training your brain to ask, “Wouldn’t it be amazing if….?”  

Allow your mind to focus on the possibilities.  Wouldn’t it be amazing if it were easy?  Wouldn’t it be amazing if I handled obstacles with ease?  Either are possible.

As you reinvent midlife, look to the women who have gone before you and are currently living with purpose.  I think of Janet, who is still asking herself the “amazing” question at 70 years young.  She is living proof of the possibilities.  

Dancing around the fire

I am the master of reinvention at any age.  Creating my life is rewarding, but not always easy.  And that’s ok. 

Are you stuck in a midlife funk with a boring empty nest or afraid of an unknown future?  I understand your journey and am passionate about helping you.  

I can lead you through a pivot and ignite your dream life.  If you hang around me long enough I will convince you that your best years are ahead.  

I offer a free consultation.  If you are ready to overcome your fears of the future, schedule a mini session by clicking on my calendar link below.  Simply choose a date and time that works for you.  

Wouldn’t it be amazing to dance around the fire together?

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

A 98.8% happier life

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women lead 98.8% happier lives.  Believe your best years are ahead!

Live a 98.8% happier life!

You can live a 98.8% happier life by busting three midlife myths.

Have you accepted that at a certain age you begin to fight a loosing battle with age?  What if you were actually entering into the best season of your life?  

I am a cockeyed optimist with uncommon energy.  

Without subscribing to rainbows or unicorns, but have learned tools that allow me to fully function through life’s good and bad.  

You can create a life that includes abundant wellness and realize dreams at any age.  

Have you accepted midlife myths?

It occurred to me that there are some common midlife myths accepted as truth.  What if they were simply not true? 

First, what thoughts do you actually have about midlife and aging?  Gathering your thoughts in a journal by jotting down all the thoughts that you have about midlife.     

Next, take a look at the thoughts.  Do you like the thoughts? Are they true?  Where have these thought and ideas come from?  

It is widely believed that our bodies are not separated from our thoughts or emotions.  This is why I preach Self-Aware is the first step to Self-Care.  It is time to let go of toxic beliefs.  Then frame, or reframe, what your idea of midlife is and create it!  

Three myths to bust in order to believe your best years are ahead

1.  Midlife means the beginning of a loosing battle with well being.

In her book Goddesses Never Age, Christiane Northrup, M.D. confirms, “physical deterioration occurs in large part because of the accumulation of toxins, which results in cellular deterioration and damage along with tissue and organ breakdown.”  

Yet, she also offers that the body is in a constant state of reinvention.  “You do not have to have the same physical body you had just a few years ago.  Every cell has been replaced.”

I am living proof of this!  In 2017 I decided to question the idea that our bodies have to fall apart in midlife.  I spent three years removing toxins from my diet and home.  In 2019 I learned to manage my mind. Thanks to this work, I am not the same person I was back then.  

You can achieve wellness at any age.  Your best years are ahead.

2.  An empty nest is boring and lonely

An empty nest isn’t lonely because I am there.

Typically women spend there lives between 20 and 40 tending to their families.  Without giving it a second thought, their schedule is dictated by work and family.  When their little birdies fly the coop, there is naturally a void to fill.  

Although change is rarely popular, a new routine emerges from the quiet house.  At this point in life, you are ready to make decisions about what your future will look like?  

Unfortunately, “we believe that if something great was going to happen, it would have happened when we were 20 or 30, right? It would have happened when we were in college or when we were going to school or whatever. That’s when all the amazing things happen. But what if we’re totally wrong about that?”  ~Brooke Castillo

There are several ways to look at an empty nest.  What if you decide to enjoy your own company and believe your best years are ahead?

3.  Time is running out with little options

Why focus on what can’t be done?  

I intend to bust this myth wide open!!!!  There have been too many examples of successful people who achieved greatness after the age of 40.  Success leaves clues.  Studying their stories encourages me to explore my own.  

Time will run out if you indulge in self depravation.  Midlife is the time to invest in childhood dreams, ideas that have took a back seat to the demands of family and what your soul longs to teach you.

What if you made each day count and believe the best years are ahead?    

The Crossroads

I am sure you’ve created a few midlife myths of your own. 

Are you at the crossroads, at a point in life when you are ready to make decisions about what your future will look like?  

I want to help you believe your best years are ahead!  Not only have I mastered the fine art of reinvention, I am a certified life coach that can help you bust the midlife myths.  

Self-aware is the first step to self-care. 

Schedule a FREE mini session today!  It is my life’s work to inspire midlife women to love their lives 98.8% more!

What midlife myths do you wish to bust?  Click the link below to schedule your FREE mini session!  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Just say “F’ It”

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.  Learn how to turn an "F' It" moment into a moment of hope!

Are you willing to vulnerably admit that at times of frustration you just want to say “F’ it”?  Yes, I admit that I use the F word on occasion.  

For instance, I might say it prior to the third glass of wine, or finishing the cake after the kids went to bed.  Does this happen to just me?  

“She realized that vulnerability was easier to wear than vanity.  So she stripped straight down to nothing. And set herself free.”  ~  Cara Alwill Leyba

This week I spent time wondering why the “F’ it” moments happen.  

My F’ It Moment

Recently, at a point when my dreams seem to be on the horizon but still so far out of reach, I had a major “F ’it” moment.  

I had planned my eating protocol for the day.  I knew I’d be meeting friends at my favorite winery, so I planned one glass of wine.  (famously naive)  At the winery, I had my planned glass of wine and then bought a bottle to take home.  When I got home my plans got railroaded, as if I can blame it on the circumstances, and proceeded to drink the bottle too.  The moment I opened the bottle I recall saying to myself, “Fuck it!” (not abbreviated)

The real reason I had a “F’ it” moment was not my evening circumstances.  Frankly, the real reason I felt the need to “F’ it” was my unrealized dreams weighing heavy on my heart ALL DAY.  

The next morning I awoke with the guilt of not honoring my planned protocol, and the familiar shame storm.    

I wrote in my journal:  I can’t seem to catch a mystic break.  God, I’m trusting you.  Please lead me to the gold-mine within.  

Then I came across another poem…  

Surrender

I want to breath in passion like air.  I want to fill my lungs with the magic and lust and possibility only passion brings.  And the feeling that is only available to you when you finally, fully, fiercely surrender.   ~ Cara Alwill Leyba 

Faith   

The absence of evidence is NOT the evidence of its absence.  Surrender to the mystery.

Surrendering is actually saying, “F’ it” in a completely different way.  It is breathing in passion like air and saying to yourself, “this just might work!”  What do you actually have to loose when you choose to believe notwithstanding the absence of evidence?    

Faith is a powerful emotion that helps you believe your dreams are worth pursuing.

It just might work!

The first “F’ it” has no upside.  It is just a familiar way to approach discouragement that leads to guilt and an inevitable shame storm.  Creative solutions are impossible to discover when your energy is consumed by discouragement.  

The second “F’ it” has HUGE upsides.  The thought “what if it works” produces a feeling of hope and leads to massive action.  

Here is what I’ve learned about hope this week:

Hope is not an accident.

You cultivated hope by allowing the mystery.  

The mystery is a little voice that whispers maybe, when the whole world is shouting no.  

This hope is an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.  

Hope is the charged emotion that elevates your dreams.  

Not forced, but ready to see crazy things happen!

What if you gave up entertaining the thoughts that cause fear and discouragement, the thoughts that lead to lack? 

Have compassion on your discouraging thoughts, noticing them without guilt or shame, and then simply release them.  

Surrender to the idea that it just might work, and to the mystery of uncommon creativity.   

This is my life’s work.  

Believing in possibilities and abundance is my super power.  Even when I suffer discouragement, my will to break through will not allow me to wallow in it.  I desire to cultivate a mindset that surrenders to fierce hope.

I am happy to share my journey with you in hopes that it inspires your journey.  As your life coach I will help you to reclaim your life, full of dreams and visions for your best years ahead.  

I’d love to work with you to develop a proper “F’ it” mindset.   

If you regret a recent “F’ it” moment that produced a shame storm, I know I can help you flip it to a “it just might work” mindset.  I offer a FREE mini session for those of you who are curious about life coaching.  

Simply click the link below and choose a date/time that works for you!  It just might work!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.  Schedule a FREE mini session to chat about how she can help you!

Four things I ditched for an epic midlife pivot.

Four things I ditched for an epic midlife pivot.  Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Four things I ditched for an epic MIDLIFE PIVOT!

A midlife pivot is another way of expressing a need to reboot & reclaim your life.  Midlife women experience this urge to pivot as they face an empty nest, COVID downsize, a recent divorce or the anticipation of retirement.  Can you relate?

“There is nothing more powerful or radical or stunningly, radiantly beautiful than a woman who chooses to rebuild her life.  Day after day, hour after hour, no matter how many mistakes she must now spin into gold.”  ~ Cara Alwill Leyba

I’m in the throws of a radical reboot, and love sharing my journey in the hopes that it will inspire more midlife women to choose to reboot, reclaim and rebuild.  In this article I will share four things I recently ditched to lighten my load for the long haul.  

1. Fear Porn

A common obstacle for midlife women is fear or worry, even when the scenario rarely turns out as bad as imagined.  Fear is a misuse of our imagination, usually based on past experiences.  

Why would you obsess about potential bad?  Could you be addicted to a state of being that drives worry?  Do you honestly believe the emotion of fear or worry has the power to manipulate outcomes?  

Protect your energy by projecting what you actually want in the future.  When you feel the emotion of fear or worry, declare to yourself, “I now know what I don’t want.  What I want is…”  Your life will pivot when you reframe worry and even eliminate fear.

I made the decision to eliminate fear porn in March as the world shut down for COVID.  I just knew that a constant barrage of news would not support wellness.  I allowed myself to stay informed, but balanced it with equal amounts of information that encouraged my personal growth.  As a result, I believe I made better use of the past six months, stayed in great health and helped my clients in the process.  

2. Smack Talk

Who is your worst enemy?  I hope you answered you.  

The chatter continually “talking smack” about you is inside your head.  Wonder how many of the 60,000 thoughts you think on a daily basis are kind thoughts about yourself?  If 90% of your daily thoughts are the same as the day before, it is safe to say that you beat yourself up worse than your worst enemy.  

I recently came to terms with the smack talk in my head and moved forward with two actions.  

First, I forgave my past self.  I literally journaled an apology to my past self and released her from all guilt and shame concerning parts of my personality I did not appreciate.  

Second, I decided to learn the lesson that was being offered.  A pastor once told me a long that lessons not learned will repeat themselves until they are finally learned.  There is so much wisdom in this!  Instead of beating myself up for a failure, mistake or habit, I seek the lesson.  I thank the lesson and love the opportunity for growth, and then release it.

Your life will pivot when you manage the smack talk.  This will give you so much compassion for your past self.  I encourage you to spend time thanking her for both the good and bad decisions.  

3. Approval of others

What other people think about you is none of your business.  

What if you could reduce the amount of energy you spent on the approval of others by developing a relationship with your past, present and future self?  My REBOOT & RECLAIM coaching package uses a three step process that allows you to truly love who you are.  You learn that you are worthy and lovable, because you decide to believe it.    

Look, I spent my whole life looking for the approval of others.  Oh the mind games we play!  I was left thinking life was a popularity contest I could never win.  

Even though it has taken me fifty years, I am grateful that I have learned to honor my past decisions, live in the present and create a future.  I love the woman I am becoming.  

Your life will pivot when you believe your best years are ahead and decide the approval of others is unnecessary.  

4. The How

“Logic will get you from A to B.  Imagination will take you everywhere.”  ~Albert Einstein

I know you like to have all your ducks in a row before you pursue your dream.  What if knowing how to get from A to B limits your ability to achieve your dream?

The blessings in life unfold as a mystery when you focus your energy on visualization.  What does the dream look like and how will you feel when you achieve it.  Experts agree that when you add charged emotions to your desires, you open yourself up to uncommon creativity.  The easiest way to create the future you want is to become the kind of person who creates the result.   

Your life will pivot when you focus on who you need to become to create the life you want.  The how takes care of itself and makes you unstoppable.  

Midlife Pivot

Do you have a desire to pivot?  What in your life are you willing to ditch?

As your life coach, I can help you reboot & reclaim your life.  Instead of focusing on things that no longer serve you, you can create the future you’ve always wanted.  If you hang around with me long enough, I will convince you that your best years are ahead.  

If the idea of living in your full potential excites you, join my REBOOT & RECLAIM.

I am offering personalized coaching that will guide you in developing an amazing relationship with your past, present and future self and create the future you’ve always desired.  

Click the link below and choose a date and time that works best for you.  Clicking the link will give you all the details you need!  

Here’s to an epic midlife pivot!

Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!