This week I enjoyed a visit with my neighbor, who saw me sitting on my front porch and stopped by for a chat. Porch sitting feels like a thing of the past, but impromptu chats with neighbors seems even more rare. She told me that lately she has been curious about people’s stories.
Everyone has one. What is your story?
She wondered if anyone takes the time to ask people to share their story. Recently a local business owner even seemed surprised when she asked about her story.
Has anyone asked about your story?
What would you share?
Would you only tell the expected chapters, or would you delve into the nitty gritty?
After being on the planet around five decades, there are too many chapters to choose from.
Where would you begin?
Storyworth
My daughter gifted me a Storyworth subscription for Christmas. Every Monday for a whole year I will be emailed a question about my life. At the end of the year they will put it all together in a book I can purchase.
I was touched that my daughter was interested in knowing more about me.
{insert ugly cry}
I’m not an affiliate for this company, but I think this is an excellent idea!
Here are some of the questions I’ve been asked:
What is your favorite childhood story?
What was your Mom/Dad like? Grandparents? First Boss?
What would you save if your house was on fire? – EEKS THIS WAS HARD!
What do you consider your motto?
Favorite subject in high school?
Best job you ever had?
Today’s question is.. are you a regular at any of your local restaurants or cafes? What is that relationship like?”
Heartbreaking realization
It feels a bit sad to me that as a society we’ve lost the connection of neighbors, but what is even more heartbreaking is that many women have lost a connection to their story.
A Harvard Business Review article on human potential said that the #1 reason you don’t reach your potential is that you don’t know yourself.
Maybe my neighbor is onto something by making a point of stopping to visit a neighbor sitting on her front porch, and to care enough to wonder about her story.
Everyone has one. What is your story?
I love having the opportunity to listen to women’s stories, and help them make peace with their numerous chapters.
My intention is that you believe your best years are ahead.
Do you feel stuck, unheard or maybe you just feel lonely? Are you afraid that your best years are in the past? Where are you in your story, and where would you like to be?
I invite you to schedule a chat with me using my calendar link, then choose a date/time that works for you. The very best part of my role as a life coach is to help you create a life you’ve always wanted.
Here’s to connecting to your story and believing your best days are ahead!
~Tiffany
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!
As I walk through my garden bursting with signs of new life, one thing I know for sure is that you can’t rush spring, or skip to the good part.
I want to plant a seed and then skip to harvesting a beautiful array of cutting flowers, fruits and vegetables. I want to feel accomplished and enjoy the rewards of my hard work, without doing the work.
In what areas of your life are you rushing? Have you found yourself wishing, “can we skip to the good part?”
We’ve spent our lives skipping to the good part
In high school you were most likely in a hurry to graduate, then off to college. After high school or college, you might have been in a hurry to get married, and then the house and kids.
Most parents rush their children’s milestones, in a hurry for their precious baby to crawl, walk and talk. And then spend the rest of their lives telling them to sit down and hush.
How many seasons did you rush? In hindsight, every season was the good part!
This song by AJR eloquently explains it all… The Good Part.
Will I know I’ve made it?
Although 20 years of raising a family seems like a long time, in the end it went too fast.
Are you considering these nagging questions…
Have you made it? Was this always the goal? Now what?
Did you skip the good part?
The danger for empty nesters is the temptation to habitually look to the past for your identity.
Can you skip the unwanted feelings?
One of the latest trends for Instagram REELS is using the song by AJR to show how people want to skip to the good part. My favorite one is a husband who is digging a trench. The wife asks, can we skip to the good part? He answers, NO! Jeff and I relate to that REEL as he just trenched our back yard for a water line, a couple months before our son’s wedding that we are hosting.
Are you the screaming midlife woman with an empty nest, who just wants to skip to feeling certain of the future? Your empty nest feels lonely. You’re not sure where you’ll skip to, but you’d like to skip the heaviness of unwanted feelings.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news. You can’t skip the work involved in cultivating a new life, but it’s work wether you stay stuck or dig in.
The resistance
It’s natural to avoid the discomfort of new growth, but when you resist it you suffer.
The best part of an empty nest is that you have plenty of time to dig into what makes you tick and cultivate something new. You can grow stronger as you learn to dance with resistance, acceptance, grief and resilience.
As a recent client testified…
“She has helped me, not only course my way through past and ongoing grief, but major life changes. She has directed me and given me hope to dream about a fun future for ME. I can finally feel free to step into the next chapter.”
Suffering is optional. You can be resilient and live a fun life that is full of purpose.
If this is resonating with you, let’s schedule a short chat to learn how I can help you navigate what you’re actually trying to skip and identify where you’d like to skip to.
Here’s to a life you don’t need to skip.
~Tiffany
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!
Amid the horrific world news we are bombarded with, how do you stay focused on truly living? Is joy possible in this f’cking chaotic world?
I had intended to give you a pep talk on joy from the vantage point of pursuing your midlife dreams.
My intention is to help you believe your best days are ahead, but that message just doesn’t feel right this week. Let’s face it… the world seems to be rapidly falling apart. {even though some of us have seen the writing on the wall}
Thriving in the fresh hell
In the early days of the pandemic, I decided to invest my time in thriving, believing it was not only possible to thrive, but necessary and worth it. I read books, created a victory garden, walked barefoot, etc. In 2021 I got honest about the fresh hell and the roller coaster we were riding.
Life doesn’t stop for a world crisis. On top of the world falling apart, there will be daily challenges, decisions to make, sadness from the loss of a loved one, weddings… the ebb and flow of life.
I fully understand that the only way I can truly live is to not allow the current events to jade me. Optimism thrives in joy and love.
Can joy become your superpower?
Wonder Woman once said, “It is about what you believe and I believe in love. Only love will truly save the world.”
I agree with Wonder Woman. Joy, love and happiness is even more critical, notwithstanding a chaotic world.
This world needs real life super heroes with joy being a superpower.
Feelings
“Happiness {joy} cannot be pursued, it ensues.” ~Victor Frankl
Pure joy slips in when you are open to feeling a wide range of emotions.
Are you aware of what you are actually feeling and why? Turn off the news, put your phone down for a minute and breath through your emotions.
I teach my clients to allow their emotions and learn from them.
Truth is that no one has the right to tell you how you to feel. Maybe you want to be mad for a time.
I’m not suggesting you indulge in anger, but allow the emotions to flow through you.
Learning this skill will give you superpowers.
Dare to engage in life.
The daily barrage of fresh hell has taught me that no one is coming on a white horse to save me or the world.
You have to become your own super hero.
I won’t be made useless or be idle with despair. I will gather myself around my faith. For light does the darkness fear. ~Jewel.
Like Jewel, I refuse to made useless by fear.
Joy ensues when you are engaged in creating your life from the inside and are willing to do the work to cultivate your superpower and celebrate the daily wins, however small they may be
When was the last time you noticed joy?
Pay attention.
My grandkids are experts at being joyously engaged in life. First of all they are willing to experience all the emotions. No one has to wonder what they feel. One minute everyone is happy, the next minute a melt down can happen for no apparent reason. And then life returns to normal once they had a very dramatic cry about it. I also admire their never ending curiosity. Each day brings a new adventure in learning and exploring is their full time job. Finally, I noticed that they know exactly what they want at all times and they seem to be singleminded about their desires.
Do you want to stand in your superpowers during these chaotic days? Are you willing to feel all the emotions life has to offer, even during conflict? Do you believe that joy is possible?
As one of my clients put it, you might need to help unleashing feelings and thoughts that you don’t even realize are holding you back.
Here’s your invitation to stand in your superpower.
Schedule a call with me. It’s as easy as choosing a time/date on my calendar that works for you.
Here’s to boldly engaging in YOUR superpowers.
The world needs YOU right now.
~Tiffany
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!
The cost of NOT restoring cherished relationships can take a toll on you emotionally and financially.
As I shared in last week’s blog, during 2021 Jeff and I were seriously talking about divorce, but chose to walk through healing and learn to communicate, with the help of a couple’s coach.
The good news is there is a happy ending to my story!
As Johnnie Taylor’s 1973 song goes … It’s cheaper to keep her.
I’d never sit in judgement of anyone who has divorced. It is a very personal choice, that at times may be the only option. I personally wanted to avoid it. I believed that what Jeff and I had was worth saving.
The average cost of a divorce with children in Texas is at $23,500.
The fastest a couple can get a divorce in the state of Texas is 61 days.
But we all know of couples that drug out their divorces for months, with costs soaring well above the average, not to mention the cost of separating assets and retirement.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve invested way too much in my cherished relationships to simply walk away.
Emotional Cost is so high!
In 2021 Jeff and I had two major grid lock issues. Every night seemed to be another round of fighting on one of them. It was miserable.
Let me remind you, we looked like a cute couple on Instagram. We hardly ever talked trash about each other to friends and family.
Although I had no idea how I would support myself, the real cost of divorce for me would be emotional. I felt disposable and was afraid of being lonely. All the arguing left me feeling unlovable and hopeless.
The questions that kept me up at night were…
How will this affect my family?
How will we spend Christmas and holidays?
Would we both go to the birthday parties and future celebrations?
How long will I carry the sting of rejection? Would I ever be able to trust another man?
How would I get use to NOT talking to Jeff everyday? Who would I run my crazy ideas past?
How we restored our relationship
Since March of 2019 I’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars in coaching and personal growth. I attended two Tony Robins events, got certified in Life Coaching through the Life Coach School and hired business coaches.
Like they say in the coaching world, I am a product of the product. I can honestly say that this investment has changed me and gave me the ability to manage my mind. And honestly, I was doing a lot of self coaching during this time!
When divorce was thrown around like a nuclear bomb in our home, I humbly acknowledged we could not resolve this on our own.
Hiring a couple’s coach was the most logical answer to our grid lock issues. We learned to listen and communicate what we actually meant. If we felt flooded in emotions, we simply stopped the conversation until we had time to process the feelings. Jeff and I finally came to resolutions that turned our relationship around. The cost of coaching? Priceless!
What we learned saved us from the high cost of divorce.
This week as I relive some of the hurtful thoughts that I had to work through, I am deeply grateful that Jeff and I did not throw it all away. I don’t even want to imagine what my life would be like if we had.
Out of our restoration birthed a new program
I am dedicated to serving YOU in BIG ways in 2022. I am willing to share what I experienced, in the hopes that YOU can restore your cherished relationships too!
Monday January 17, 2022 I am launching a personalized program to walk you through restoring your cherished relationships supported by a my new program called Restore Your Cherished Relationships in 90 days.
This program offers 5 valuable components.
Connection Calls.
This is a weekly one on one Zoom call with me. Every week you will have a 45 minutes with me to share your unique relationship issues. We will work through the emotions you are experiencing and create a path forward. This is by far the most valuable aspect of the program as you will finally feel heard.
I have experienced the most amazing a-ha moments in my life with a coach who’s only objective was to listen to me and offer genuinely curious questions.
Community Connections.
You no longer need to feel isolated. It always surprises me how convinced women are that they are alone.
I will create an online community for you to connect with women who are walking a similar journey. This will be your chance to be encouraged by weekly group Zoom chats.
Course Connection.
This is where I put together journal prompts, worksheets, reading lists, podcast suggestions and more. You will get a weekly email with all these goodies personalized for your journey.
Journaling through my emotions during this difficult time helped me get to know myself in a whole new level. I have great prompts for you to ask yourself high quality questions.
Constant Connection.
You will have 24 hour access to me via email. When you are in the heat of the moment and don’t want to wait for you connection call, you will be able to email me the issue. I will respond to you within 24 hours… but most likely it will be sooner.
The couple coach we hired offered this. One night when Jeff and I were flooded with emotion she was there to walk me through it. I will always be grateful for that!
The final component is my six week evaluation. At this time we will evaluate your progress. If you aren’t in love with your progress you will be offered a chance to jump ship or Course Correction. I am confident that you will start to see hope for your relationships at this point in the program.
Learn more!
Are you raising your hand wanting to know more?
Sweet! Click the link below to learn more about the program. If for some reason you still have questions… message me or schedule a chat on my Calendar.
Due to the personalize nature of this offer I will only be able to work with 10 ladies. So, don’t procrastinate!
The FACEBOOK LIVE where Jeff and I shared our journey….
Here’s to restoring YOUR cherished relationships in 2022!
~Tiffany
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!
A time to gather! Americans are barreling into the holiday season with Thanksgiving, a special day to gather the family around the dinner table to give thanks.
Holidays can be a lot of fun with adult children, but can also be tricky as siblings scatter in pursuit of their dreams.
It’s not always possible to gather everyone around the table each year, which can be heavy on the hearts of midlife moms.
A smaller gathering
You may think that the holidays will never be the same after the kids have flown the coop.
That thought probably makes you a little sad and lonely. Me too!
When your heart feels sad, you’re less likely to put effort into the holiday. You don’t feel like cooking a big dinner. The decorations don’t come out. Traditions are ditched.
Of course the holidays won’t be the same, especially if you don’t have the same energy for them.
Gratitude
This year I will celebrate Thanksgiving without my extended family. We will see my family and our daughter’s family between Christmas and New Years.
Of course I’ll be sad without my family around the table.
After I allow myself a good cry, I will remember that I can create just as much magic for myself as I once did for my kids. I am worth the effort.
Giving yourself permission to create the magic for yourself is empowering and fills the season with meaning again.
Although the holidays are definitely different, you can truly be grateful for the gift of midlife by acknowledging the time you now have to pursue what makes you feel alive.
Enchanting
What if you had another way to look at the holidays?
It took me a long time to fall in love with the holidays again.
After years of trying to navigate the holidays with an aching heart, I’ve put together five tips to help you recapture the Christmas magic!
My free Midlife Mom’s Guide to Recapturing Christmas Magic will help you believe the holidays can be enchanting in any season of life.
You don’t need to spend too much time feeling sad or lonely. I’d love to send you a copy today. Simply message me or email me a request. I will forward you the pdf version of the guide. eckhardt.tiffany@gmail.com
As always, I invite you to schedule a chat with me. I can help you create magic for your holiday season!
Happy Thanksgiving!
~Tiffany
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.
I am hard wired for the “junk” business and live in the heart of the infamous Texas Antiques Week, a biannual pilgrimage for junkers of all types!
My husband and I have enjoyed the “show” as dealers, store owners and now hosts of an Airbnb.
I experienced Texas Antiques Week as a dealer in Round Top for the first time in the fall of 2011, with my original business partner and friend Kristie Herlong. After setting up at the Springfield Extravaganza in Ohio, we packed up our trailers and headed to Texas, not really knowing what we were getting into.
TEN YEARS AGO! Time flies!
That same year, Jeff relocated us from Ohio to Texas… empty nesters who literally flew the coop.
Once I was full time in Texas, I grew my business to participate in seven shows a year. Over time, the road wore me out and I longed to have something permanent.
The opportunity to purchase our property in Burton, Texas was a dream come true the fall of 2014. I celebrated the grand opening of Flown The Coop Antique Store during the “spring show” of 2015.
Today I’m still smitten with the “Junk” business
Ten years after my first show and three years after closing the store, the antique bug struck again.
TxJunkR opened shop this week in Burton. I couldn’t pass up a chance to set up a booth. The night before, I lost sleep wondering if I had enough stuff.The answer… YES! I had more than enough stuff to fill my little nook.
I forgot how much fun it was.
My good friend and once business partner Kristie responded to posts about the big event, “You can’t get it out of your system once you have it.”
So true!
Do you have a passion in your “system”, hard wired?
Maybe you haven’t spent that much time exploring what really sparks your interest.
The first step in identifying what you’re hard wired for is to look for what always circle back to your life.
Most of my hard wiring falls under the category of creating spaces. I love to garden, renovating homes and offering hospitality.
Understandably, my heart is always drawn to the antique business.
I want to encourage you!
Don’t waist time putting off your passion. Find a way to express what makes your heart throb!
The world needs more people who live with purpose and aren’t afraid to go for it!
I hope by reuniting with my passion, I inspire you to explore yours.
Do you need help with this? I can definitely offer help! Schedule a chat with me by clicking on my calendar link. Simply pick a date/time that works for you.
~Here’s to igniting your spark!
Tiffany
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!
The past few years have felt like a roller coaster ride of emotions, leaving most clinging to hopium {that is hope-ium – a new term}.
Are you wondering, will life will ever have a sense of normalcy? When will this ride be over?
Your life on hold
If you are anything like me, you love to dream and to invest in the future, but you’re so distracted by the daily dose of “fresh hell” coming from the powers that be {whoever that is}.
There are tasks on your to-do list, but scrolling through social media for the latest news halts progress.
Are you tip-toeing the balance between the need to be informed and the desire to bury your head in the sand?
It’s exhausting! Are we ok with all of this????
The daily barrage of “fresh hell” grates on the nerves, is frustrating and feels out of control.
Are you putting your dreams on hold, and at times even think why bother?
It’s hell
I see so much suffering, including my own version of misery. Since March 2020 I have lost friends, dealt with the possibility of a lost job, and find it difficult to talk to my family about real concerns, etc.
There hasn’t been an authentic conversation around some people since the “fresh hell” became taboo, even criminal.
The women I know just want the opportunity to talk about this bizarre time in history, to share their “fresh hell” of the day.
Lucky for me I have learned skills to work through the chaos and have support when I find myself going in circles.
I want to offer hope…
There is a way forward to not only cope, but to thrive in this messy world.
I’ve managed it!
No, you won’t be able to change the polarizing landscape of today’s world, but you can create a pathway forward.
How can I serve you?
I don’t assume to know what you need.
Maybe you just need someone to talk to, or could use a comforting recipe, an essential oil or herbal remedy. I have developed a million journal prompts that could be helpful.
It’s possible that all you need is a break from the “fresh hell” and add more spice to your life.
It would definitely help to connect with kindreds!
I’m here to serve!
Let me know what you are struggling with! Comment on the blog, on my social media posts, DM me or even schedule a chat with me.
The other day I was riding down the road in my pick-up truck Miss Dixie, with windows wide open {cuz it’s fall ya’ll}, blasting Gavin Degraw on the radio. Dang! The song I Don’t Want To Be hit a chord.
“I don’t have to be anyone other than the birth of two souls in one. Part of where I’m going is knowing where I’m coming from.”
Now what?
The need for purpose isn’t necessarily a crisis, but probably feels more like a nagging. Now what?
There were times when I was raising my children that I thought, oh my God… when will I ever have time for myself?
Now that I have all the time in the world, I often miss my kids. BTW: Adult kiddos are so much fun!
Wether you’re an empty nester, newly retired or recently divorced, the question of now what can tug at your heart.
Not superficial, but profound!
One of my clients commented to me that she was tired of being superficial. Me too!
If you embrace the typical midlife crisis, you might fill the void with a brand new sporty car… anything to feel young with an exciting future ahead of you.
Instead acting superficial, what if you had a profound shift in how you view all this free time? Could this time be a gift?
The birth of two souls
It’s easy to look to the past for identity. It’s clear where you’ve been, but do you know where you want to go or who you want to BE?
What if getting to know yourself is more exciting than a brand new sporty car?
Maybe you just need to crank up Gavin Degraw for inspiration!
“I don’t want to be anything other than me.”
It is fun!
Creating a profound shift could feel heavy… but I promise it is fun!
I like to say my empty nest is not boring, because I am in it!
You are NOT boring!
Find out what you like.
Discover what excites you.
Decide what really matters to you.
Is this hitting a cord?
Last month I focused on fun… finding your inner artist, taking yourself on a date, getting on the dance floor, and being zesty.
I hope it all hit a chord.
These articles were designed to help you live midlife with meaning and purpose, and see this season as a gift to get to know yourself… what you like to do for fun.
If loneliness or boredom is nagging at you, I can help.
I invite you to schedule a chat with me. This is an opportunity for you to share what is nagging at you and preventing you from living a life of purpose.
Simply click my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you.
Here’s to riding down the road, windows wide open and blasting a song that hits all the right cords!
~Tiffany
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky
The past few weeks I’ve focused on your creativity, taking yourself on a date and getting on the dance floor.
I hope you saw yourself in these posts and are ready to add zest to your life!
Something zesty to look forward to.
“The quality of life is in proportion, always, to the capacity for delight.” Julia Cameron
It is difficult to have capacity for delight when you live in the land of regret. If you are always looking to the past, it’s hard to see a zesty future.
To stop dwelling in the past, first learn to delight in the present by taking time to be grateful for all the good that you’ve created in your life.
And then look to an exciting future by intentionally planning something zesty to look forward to. This excercise creates more of what you love.
Our need for zest
Midlife is the perfect opportunity to be intentional about your need for zest.
As a midlife woman, it’s time to unleash your spice. It’s time to defy the rules and expectations you’ve followed and start doing more of what delights you.
Working towards a dream or goal, planning a vacation or even planning a garden gives meaning to your life and creates excitement.
Stay open to opportunities for zest
Do you have a list of zesty things to look forward to?
Here’s a great place to start…
Create a list 20 things you like to do. Don’t overthink it or worry if you can’t come up with 20. Once you are open to what delights you, more ideas will flow.
Pick one item and describe how you will feel when you are planning it and doing it.
Does it feel zesty and add spice to your life???
The key is to stay open to opportunities for zest.
Zest zappers
There are bound to be zest zappers in your life.
You may not even be aware of how you are zapping your zest.
Do you worry that it’s too late? Does focusing on yourself seem selfish?
Maybe you just need help believing you are capable of creating a zesty life.
I’d love to help you tackle the blocks preventing you from moving forward toward a life that excites you.
I invite you to schedule a free consultation. Let’s chat about what seems to be in the way of you experiencing the freedom and fullness of midlife. I am confident that I can help you add zest to your life!
Simply click HERE to pick a date/time that works for you.
Here’s to becoming a seasoned women with something zesty to look forward to!
~Tiffany
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky
It is my intention to help you dance through what ever stage of change you find yourself, and and empower you to step into what ever you’ve always wanted to do.
Enjoy! ⤵️
Dig deeper
It sucks that trying something new hasn’t gotten easier since high school!
Midlife is the perfect time for you to stop being the wall flower and dance!
I’d like to invite you to dig deeper into reinvention.
In addition to The Four Stages Of Reinvention, I also offer a free guide mentioned in the video. Click here to get your Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS.
Let’s fill the dance floor
Can you see yourself on the dance floor?
If you long to get out where the disco ball is spinning, but you just can’t seem to get past the fear, I’d love to help!
I invite you to schedule a free consultation by simply clicking on my calendar link and picking a date and time that works for you.
Together we can get you to step onto the dance floor!
Here’s to being the Belle of the Ball!
~Tiffany
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky
