Tag Archives: Mid-life

A 98.8% happier life

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Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women lead 98.8% happier lives. Believe your best years are ahead!

Live a 98.8% happier life!

You can live a 98.8% happier life by busting three midlife myths.

Have you accepted that at a certain age you begin to fight a loosing battle with age?  What if you were actually entering into the best season of your life?  

I am a cockeyed optimist with uncommon energy.  

Without subscribing to rainbows or unicorns, but have learned tools that allow me to fully function through life’s good and bad.  

You can create a life that includes abundant wellness and realize dreams at any age.  

Have you accepted midlife myths?

It occurred to me that there are some common midlife myths accepted as truth.  What if they were simply not true? 

First, what thoughts do you actually have about midlife and aging?  Gathering your thoughts in a journal by jotting down all the thoughts that you have about midlife.     

Next, take a look at the thoughts.  Do you like the thoughts? Are they true?  Where have these thought and ideas come from?  

It is widely believed that our bodies are not separated from our thoughts or emotions.  This is why I preach Self-Aware is the first step to Self-Care.  It is time to let go of toxic beliefs.  Then frame, or reframe, what your idea of midlife is and create it!  

Three myths to bust in order to believe your best years are ahead

1.  Midlife means the beginning of a loosing battle with well being.

In her book Goddesses Never Age, Christiane Northrup, M.D. confirms, “physical deterioration occurs in large part because of the accumulation of toxins, which results in cellular deterioration and damage along with tissue and organ breakdown.”  

Yet, she also offers that the body is in a constant state of reinvention.  “You do not have to have the same physical body you had just a few years ago.  Every cell has been replaced.”

I am living proof of this!  In 2017 I decided to question the idea that our bodies have to fall apart in midlife.  I spent three years removing toxins from my diet and home.  In 2019 I learned to manage my mind. Thanks to this work, I am not the same person I was back then.  

You can achieve wellness at any age.  Your best years are ahead.

2.  An empty nest is boring and lonely

An empty nest isn’t lonely because I am there.

Typically women spend there lives between 20 and 40 tending to their families.  Without giving it a second thought, their schedule is dictated by work and family.  When their little birdies fly the coop, there is naturally a void to fill.  

Although change is rarely popular, a new routine emerges from the quiet house.  At this point in life, you are ready to make decisions about what your future will look like?  

Unfortunately, “we believe that if something great was going to happen, it would have happened when we were 20 or 30, right? It would have happened when we were in college or when we were going to school or whatever. That’s when all the amazing things happen. But what if we’re totally wrong about that?”  ~Brooke Castillo

There are several ways to look at an empty nest.  What if you decide to enjoy your own company and believe your best years are ahead?

3.  Time is running out with little options

Why focus on what can’t be done?  

I intend to bust this myth wide open!!!!  There have been too many examples of successful people who achieved greatness after the age of 40.  Success leaves clues.  Studying their stories encourages me to explore my own.  

Time will run out if you indulge in self depravation.  Midlife is the time to invest in childhood dreams, ideas that have took a back seat to the demands of family and what your soul longs to teach you.

What if you made each day count and believe the best years are ahead?    

The Crossroads

I am sure you’ve created a few midlife myths of your own. 

Are you at the crossroads, at a point in life when you are ready to make decisions about what your future will look like?  

I want to help you believe your best years are ahead!  Not only have I mastered the fine art of reinvention, I am a certified life coach that can help you bust the midlife myths.  

Self-aware is the first step to self-care. 

Schedule a FREE mini session today!  It is my life’s work to inspire midlife women to love their lives 98.8% more!

What midlife myths do you wish to bust?  Click the link below to schedule your FREE mini session!  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Just say “F’ It”

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Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead. Learn how to turn an "F' It" moment into a moment of hope!

Are you willing to vulnerably admit that at times of frustration you just want to say “F’ it”?  Yes, I admit that I use the F word on occasion.  

For instance, I might say it prior to the third glass of wine, or finishing the cake after the kids went to bed.  Does this happen to just me?  

“She realized that vulnerability was easier to wear than vanity.  So she stripped straight down to nothing. And set herself free.”  ~  Cara Alwill Leyba

This week I spent time wondering why the “F’ it” moments happen.  

My F’ It Moment

Recently, at a point when my dreams seem to be on the horizon but still so far out of reach, I had a major “F ’it” moment.  

I had planned my eating protocol for the day.  I knew I’d be meeting friends at my favorite winery, so I planned one glass of wine.  (famously naive)  At the winery, I had my planned glass of wine and then bought a bottle to take home.  When I got home my plans got railroaded, as if I can blame it on the circumstances, and proceeded to drink the bottle too.  The moment I opened the bottle I recall saying to myself, “Fuck it!” (not abbreviated)

The real reason I had a “F’ it” moment was not my evening circumstances.  Frankly, the real reason I felt the need to “F’ it” was my unrealized dreams weighing heavy on my heart ALL DAY.  

The next morning I awoke with the guilt of not honoring my planned protocol, and the familiar shame storm.    

I wrote in my journal:  I can’t seem to catch a mystic break.  God, I’m trusting you.  Please lead me to the gold-mine within.  

Then I came across another poem…  

Surrender

I want to breath in passion like air.  I want to fill my lungs with the magic and lust and possibility only passion brings.  And the feeling that is only available to you when you finally, fully, fiercely surrender.   ~ Cara Alwill Leyba 

Faith   

The absence of evidence is NOT the evidence of its absence.  Surrender to the mystery.

Surrendering is actually saying, “F’ it” in a completely different way.  It is breathing in passion like air and saying to yourself, “this just might work!”  What do you actually have to loose when you choose to believe notwithstanding the absence of evidence?    

Faith is a powerful emotion that helps you believe your dreams are worth pursuing.

It just might work!

The first “F’ it” has no upside.  It is just a familiar way to approach discouragement that leads to guilt and an inevitable shame storm.  Creative solutions are impossible to discover when your energy is consumed by discouragement.  

The second “F’ it” has HUGE upsides.  The thought “what if it works” produces a feeling of hope and leads to massive action.  

Here is what I’ve learned about hope this week:

Hope is not an accident.

You cultivated hope by allowing the mystery.  

The mystery is a little voice that whispers maybe, when the whole world is shouting no.  

This hope is an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.  

Hope is the charged emotion that elevates your dreams.  

Not forced, but ready to see crazy things happen!

What if you gave up entertaining the thoughts that cause fear and discouragement, the thoughts that lead to lack? 

Have compassion on your discouraging thoughts, noticing them without guilt or shame, and then simply release them.  

Surrender to the idea that it just might work, and to the mystery of uncommon creativity.   

This is my life’s work.  

Believing in possibilities and abundance is my super power.  Even when I suffer discouragement, my will to break through will not allow me to wallow in it.  I desire to cultivate a mindset that surrenders to fierce hope.

I am happy to share my journey with you in hopes that it inspires your journey.  As your life coach I will help you to reclaim your life, full of dreams and visions for your best years ahead.  

I’d love to work with you to develop a proper “F’ it” mindset.   

If you regret a recent “F’ it” moment that produced a shame storm, I know I can help you flip it to a “it just might work” mindset.  I offer a FREE mini session for those of you who are curious about life coaching.  

Simply click the link below and choose a date/time that works for you!  It just might work!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead. Schedule a FREE mini session to chat about how she can help you!

Perfectly Imperfect

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Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Do you have a desire to create something new in your life, yet fear the discomfort of change?  I’d like to offer the unconventional wisdom and beauty of perfectly imperfect.  

Japanese culture has a word for the idea of perfectly imperfect.  Wabi-sabi (侘寂) is a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is “imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete”.

Anyone who knows me can verify that I qualify for wabi-sabi.  I love mismatched and well loved furniture that tell a story.  I rarely wait until things line up perfectly before I launch a project.  Going against the grain of society is usually messy.    

No test, No testimony

When was the last time you allowed something to be imperfect?  Can you remember a time when you really didn’t have a choice?   

I was recently asked to give a ten minute talk on failure for my entrepreneur class at the Life Coach School.  I prepared my talk with numerous testimonies and awaited the zoom call with enthusiasm.  The day finally arrived.  Out of four panelists, I was asked to present second.  The first speaker brought up the term wabi-sabi.  I thought that concept went well with what I had planned.  It was finally my turn, but all I was able to share was a thought about being perfectly imperfect before my internet failed me.  I failed at a talk on failure.  Perfectly imperfect.  The moderator moved onto the next speaker, promising to come back to me.  After a brief freak out, I managed my presentation on my Iphone and presented last. 

I restarted my talk with a Les Brown quote, “No test, no testimony.”  

Later I received the sweetest message from the moderator.  

“Hey Tiffany, way to roll with the tech and share such great insights! I loved the way you weaved in your own story throughout and made it so raw, real, and genuine. Way to be an example, and I’m so glad we got to learn from you!”

“When you are going through hell, don’t stop.” Les Brown

Are you uncomfortable with imperfection? 

“It is normal and important to allow yourselves to be uncomfortable,”  Brooke Castillo.

Discomfort is the currency of your success.  It develops grit.  Experts agree that if you don’t experience a little discomfort on your way to goals, you are doing it wrong.  Stepping outside of you comfort zone is where real growth can occur.  

Two types of discomfort

When you embark on anything new, your brain will offer you all kinds of resistance.  You will immediately think of all the reasons not to move forward; excuses, confusion, not being perfect, etc. 

Understanding the two different types of discomfort will help you navigate confusion and choose discomfort that serves you.  

1. The discomfort of NOT growing into your potential.  

This kind of discomfort is caused by thoughts that keep you stuck such as, “I’m not good enough” or “this is hard” or “this is not the right time.”  These are thoughts that will not allow you to move forward out of fear of being imperfect.

2. The discomfort required to change.  

This is short term discomfort with long term gains and will move you closer towards your goals.  This is the kind of action that gives you butterflies in your stomach, like public speaking or trying something new.  

Embracing imperfection

I have learned the secret of being perfectly imperfect.  This concept has allowed me to flow towards the discomfort required to change and develop grit.   

Growth that leads to success is not always the easy road to follow, but the rewards are worth it.  You are worth it.  

If you’d like to embrace the secret of being perfectly imperfect, I’d like to offer my help!  I love chatting with midlife women who want to believe the best years are ahead.  Schedule a FREE mini session by clicking on my link below and picking a date on my calendar.  It really is that simple.  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach


Mid-life Muse

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Tiffany finding her midlife muse. Hire her as your midlife life coach!

I explored finding a mid-life muse leading up to my 40th Birthday.  I spent months interviewing successful friends for a series on my personal blog called Finding Your Muse, hoping to find purpose in an empty nest and new phase of life.

This time frame coincided with the real estate crash of 2008. It was a clear sign I needed to find my muse in a logical way. So, I quit real estate, sold my fancy car and went to Costa Rica for a month.  I was experiencing a crisis.  Unfortunately, MY muse was elusive!

BTW: thinking that a 40th birthday meant mid-life is adorable!  😉

Midlife Muse Found In A Shift

Many of my mid-life friends have shared that they noticed a definable shift at this stage of life.  In my recent article Are You Zesty, I explored three things seasoned women know.  I’d like to add a seasoned woman understands mid-life is a mindset, not a crisis.  

One friend shared that she developed a “F-U” attitude, finally giving herself permission to devote time and energy to herself.  Can anyone relate???

Wether your life has been devoted to family demands or a demanding career, you realize life has shifted.  You have more time and financial freedom than you once did.  Unfortunately this shift shows up as an identity crisis.  How do you get in touch with who you are and what you really want??? Spoil alert… you don’t have to travel far.

WELL, you don’t have to sell your fancy car and go to Costa Rica.  That would be crazy. 😉

Leading up to my 50th birthday, my muse found me in a mindset shift.  There is an enormous difference between my desperate approach to my 40th birthday and my quiet, reflective approach to my upcoming 50th birthday.  

A couple mindset shifts worth considering:   

1. You create YOUR identity

At times I found my identity in my family and friends or as an entrepreneur.  I am fiercely proud of my roots.  I am equally devoted to my wings and will unapologetically promote flying free!   

Cue Jessica Andrews’ Who I am video… 

I also have a pattern of looking for my identity in the opinions of others.  Good Lord, as a young homemaker living in the south my identity was wrapped up in a clean home.  I made my family nuts trying to clean up after them.  Last year I uncovered an unhealthily thought that was wrecking havoc on my identity.  I naively blamed the thought, “I don’t have the IT factor” for some of my business failures.  These stories did not serve me! 

You get to decide what thoughts you feed your mind daily.  I have noticed most people are totally unaware of what they think about themselves.  Do you realize you literally create who you are by what you think, consciously or unconsciously? 

A mid-life shift is the perfect opportunity to get in touch with what you really want.  Who do you want to BE?  What do you want to think about?  How do you want to feel?  How do you want to show up in life?  What skills do you need to learn or interests do you want to explore?  What ever you invest in NOW will create your future.  You might as well be intentional about it!  

2. Current trajectory is your future

Your future is not created in the past.  Many people limit their future based on what they were able to accomplish in the past.  Truly, your current situation has been created by the habits and the beliefs you developed over the years.  The good news is that YOU have the power to change the trajectory of your life by changing your habits and creating new beliefs!  

Mid-life is not time to take life for granted.  Be patient with yourself, but don’t wait for a written invitation.  Your future self will thank you!  

You are not alone

You are not alone in a mid-life shift.  If I can make this shift, you can too!  

“Most people find themselves flying too close to the ground.  Too often we don’t give ourselves permission to soar!” Price Pritchett

Give yourself permission to soar.  Choose to embrace mid-life by finding your muse in a mindset shift.  

I’ve enjoyed coaching many women who are ready to create a life on their terms!  I’d love the opportunity to help you get in touch with your midlife muse.  Read Three Reasons To Hire A Life Coach. Then schedule you FREE consultation!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!