Tag Archives: love

Does beating myself up work?

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Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping midlife women rise about their BS.

Does beating myself up work?  

Here I go again, beating myself up about a recent weight gain.  

I am disappointed, but the way I treat myself is ridiculous.  

It hit me that I subconsciously think feeling horrible about myself is the solution.  

As if a good scolding will put a fire under my butt.  

This mindset is similar to thinking hangovers will stop me from drinking wine again.  

Has it ever worked?

It sucks that creating positive change never get easier.   

Beating myself up with regret 

Copious amount of regret or remorse will not produce the energy needed to change course.

First, let me remind you to NOT beat yourself up for having lower energy thoughts and feelings.

They are there to teach you something.  Take a moment to acknowledge them and notice what the feelings produce.  

For me, regret feels heavy and defeated.  The feeling causes me to avoid exercise, wear big flowing dresses to hide, increase self depredating trash talk, and/or buffer with a bottle of wine, which creates even more regret.    

If feeling horrible about yourself won’t motivate you, then what will?  

Only a strong reason will motivate you to walk through any discomfort for change.  

Why do you dream of any accomplishment or destination?

You long for a feeling that you don’t currently have.  

Your “why” is linked to a feeling you desire.    

Radiant

How do you want to feel?  

There’s a symphony of emotions available to you at any given time.  I’d be happy to email you a two page list of emotions.  

So, I asked myself how will I feel when I reach my ideal weight?

Beautiful.  Worthy.  Strong.  Confident.  Capable.  Smart.  Blissful.  Carefree.  Ecstatic.  Energetic.  Energized.  Exhilarated.  Focused.  Free.  Gleeful.  Healthy.  Jubilant.  Liberated.  Natural.  Playful.  Radiant.  Rapturous.  Relaxed.  Self-affirming.  Tenacious.  Vigorous.  Youthful.

Is it possible to experience that feeling now?  YES!  

Today as I walked to the post office I practiced thinking I am radiant, which made me walk a little taller and put a smile on my face.  There is a big energetic difference between regret and radiant.  I felt it.  

Journal it

Do you want to know what you really think about yourself?  Carry a notebook for twenty four hours to jot down every thought you have about yourself.  

Before you start estimate a ratio of bad thoughts.  Do you think it will be twenty percent or eighty?  

At the end of your experiment, take a hard look at how you are treating yourself.  

Is this how you want to think and feel?  

If not, make a list of how you want to feel.  What will you need to believe?

I can help

It sucks to discover how ridiculous you are treating yourself and realize that beating yourself up never works.

My free guide Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS is a great start.  There are excellent journal prompts and practices to get you to question your BS beliefs and create ones that better serve you.  

I also offer a free consultation.  Ever wondered why midlife women hire a life coach?  Is it a good fit for you?  I invite you to hop onto a call with me to get your questions answered.

I know I can help!  I’m seeing results in my own life and the lives of my clients.  

Simply click on my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you!  

Here’s to feeling radiant and ditching regret!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

Four ways to thrive in chaotic times

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Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping midlife woman thrive in chaotic times.

Four ways to thrive in chaotic times

Chaos seems to be the norm these days.  I have discovered four ways to move past survival mode and to thrive in chaotic times.

Drama unfolds daily on the world stage, but chaos isn’t only found in politics and pandemics.

Prior to 2020 your life might have been too busy, which felt chaotic.  Modern life had not made life simple as promised.  

I love Jewel’s song Hands.  

If I could tell the world just one thing it would be that we’re all ok.  And not worry ‘cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these.  

I won’t be made useless or be idle with despair.  I will gather myself around my faith.  For light does the darkness fear. ~ Jewel

It may be a struggle, but it is possible to learn to thrive in these chaotic times.  

Four ways to thrive

Talking with friends and journaling has brought to light four ways to move past survival mode.  I encourage you to spend time answering the journal prompts and pondering the ways you can thrive.  

Acknowledge trauma

Life doesn’t slow down for chaos, but it’s important to process the trauma.  

Families still function.  The sun still rises and sets daily.   

Trauma is the not the experience.  Trauma is what is left in the body from the experience.  

The world has handed you {and me} a whopping dose of fear, continually. Your nerves may be frazzled from the body’s fight or flight response, depending on how much you expose yourself to the fear.

It’s exhausting to carry around stress for extended periods of time.  You may feel moody, tired and avoid things you need to do.  You may even think, what’s the use? 

It is important to acknowledge what you may be suppressing in order to function.

Don’t be afraid to journal your thoughts and feelings, if only to release them.  

Extend yourself grace.  These thoughts and feelings are clues that you need to take a break.  

After acknowledging the trauma, get reacquainted with what matters to you.  Surround yourself with what is lovely and true in your life.

Get physical

“I will not be made useless or be idle by despair.” ~ Jewel

Turn towards movement in moments of despair.  

Sweating my ass off in my victory garden makes me feel alive.  A true labor of love that allows me to focus on wonder.  I feel productive.  

I thrive in my garden, but also enjoy roller skating, talking to my family and friends, spending time with Jeff, building my dreams, helping midlife women and taking a walk {not in any specific order}. 

Gardening may not be your thing, but you can train yourself to turn towards what makes you feel alive!  Movement.  Any movement. 

Journal your responses…

What makes me feel productive?

How can I savor this moment? 

Is there movement that I can do today? 

Remember your accomplishments

Resilience has taught me that I can handle anything that is thrown at me.  

You have done hard things.  You have probably have done harder things while toting toddlers or juggling a demanding career.  

Build your confidence by journaling all that you have accomplished in your life.

How does that list make you feel?  I hope you see you are a badass capable of handling chaos.  

What do you believe about your accomplishments?  

Do you believe you are resilient?  

Worry is a misuse of your imagination

“Cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these.” ~Jewel  

You may want to avoid more bad news or fear what is to come, but you can be confident in your strength to find a way through it. 

Imagining the worst case scenario in the present is wasteful and does little to affect the outcome.  In fact, you are actually experiencing what you fear ahead of time by worrying about it.

It is wise to prepare for the future, but the truth is you can’t predict how the future will exactly unfold.  So do what you can and trust yourself to handle the unexpected.  

No use worrying about what you don’t know to worry about.  

“I am never broken.” ~ Jewel

How committed are you to the chaos? 

Are you ready to let it go?

Journaling the prompts I’ve shared is a great start, but you may need help moving past the trauma.  

Never heard of working up a good mad?  It’s a real thing.  

If you are like me, once you’ve worked up a good mad for an extended period of time, it isn’t easy to see another way.  

I want to encourage you.  There is a way to thrive in the chaos.  I am confident that I can help you find YOUR way. 

I invite you to schedule a consultation to talk about the trauma you’ve been carrying.  You can ask me all the questions you might have about coaching and see if working with me is a good fit for you. 

Simply click on my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you!

Here’s to to thriving!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Decades in the middle

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Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women rise above midlife BS!

I learned an unique perspective on midlife from attending The Empowered Women’s Summit, I like to call it the decades in the middle.    

Have you noticed that there is something different about this generation of midlife women?  

I haven’t been able to put my finger on it until I took part in the Empowered Woman’s Summit hosted by Jillian McGill.  

As I listened to the presenters it became obvious.  This generation of midlife women understand there is more life to live in the middle than ever before, even decades.  These women are radically owning their middle years.   

Why unique?

The first presenter, Alana Kirk, kicked off the summit declaring that this is unprecedented times for midlife woman.  

We are not our grandma’s generation!  

For the first time in history, women have been given an extra 20-30 years of life expectancy.  We have a couple decades to live in the middle, not centered around the needs of others but focused on our unique contribution to the world.  

Some stats….

Women born in1936 had a life expectancy of 59 years old at birth.  Because of advances in medicine, my grandmother actually lived to be 98.

The generation born around 1970 were given a life expectancy of 74 years old at birth, but are likely to live upwards to 100 years.  

Girls born in 2010 have a life expectancy of 83 years old at birth, 20-30 years past what her grandmother could expect.  

This generation of midlife women will spend 1/3 to 1/2 of their lives post menopausal. 

This is great news y’all!!!!

Trail Blazers welcome!   

If you were lucky enough to have a mother who taught you about sex and what to expect as a woman entering the world on her own, I doubt she also had the “what to expect when your entering midlife” chat.  Even if she did, your midlife will look different from hers.

If you’re like me, you’re thrilled to be a trail blazer.  More than likely, the next generation will know what to expect by the example we lead. That’s exciting!

Although you may feel powerless in the midst of all the changes and a bit uncertain which path to take, this is most unique time in history to be a woman in midlife.  So, keep a few things in perspective…

1. Your path forward will be unique to you, but you are not alone.  The Empowered Woman Summit showcased women from all over the world charting their own path.  

2. You have unlimited choices.  This season you are birthing something new just for you.  And the best news is that you don’t need permission to pursue any direction.  

3. You have already done hard things in your life.  In fact, you probably did hard things toting small children or juggling a demanding career.  You’ve got this too!  

I can help!

I help women stop wasting precious time upset about midlife, and start believing their best years are ahead. 

Now is the time to get serious about what you will do with all the extra years in the middle.  

If you are struggling to know what path to pursue, I invite you to schedule a free consultation.  

My clients are walking through various stages of reinvention.  I’d love to help you too!  

It’s super easy… just click on my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you.  

Here’s to the very best, unique, unpredidented decades in the middle!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Could it be time to birth something new in your life?

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Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach and author helping midlife women answer the question, What's next.

How many decisions have you made in your life with other people’s opinions and expectations in mind?  Could it be time to birth something new?

In your youth you may have followed expected paths forward, maybe even embracing them without a thought.  (College, married life, career, kids)  

It isn’t that you regret all the decisions you’ve made in life, rather living according to norms has lost its appeal and feels less than satisfying in this season. 

By midlife your ready to throw off society’s expectations and create something entirely your own.   

The birth of a new journey

In my recent interview with Jillian McGill {see video below}, she shared her journey birthing something new in her life.  Jillian started her journey with a diagnosis of an auto immune disease.  At the time she was a classroom teacher giving 100% of herself to her classroom, her students, her family, parents of her students and her community. 

Looking back in retrospect she realized that she lost herself in the doing of it all.  

Can you relate?

In the process of waiting for her diagnosis and starting the healing process, she decided to try something new.  She took some creative classes, including enrolling in The Color Of Woman by her art momma Shiloh Sophia McCloud.  She found her inner artist, creating art that now hangs in a gallery in Alaska. 

That led her to wonder, what else can I do?  

Goosebump moments

As Jillian shared her journey, I literally had goosebumps all over. Her story of empowered rebirth rings true for so many of you too. I loved that she found her inner artist, but her story didn’t end there.   

Jillian has a heart to help and support women in the powerful healing that can occur when you tap into your creativity.  She became a certified creativity coach that led her to teaching retreats and workshops, eventually shifting to online. 

She retired from a career she loved to pursue a childhood dream of traveling the US in a RV.  Planning to only be gone a year, she left Alaska to travel Canada, the lower 48, going all the way south to Key West, until the world suddenly changed.  

She realized that she could no longer safely take an outer journey and shifted to an inner journey, which included enrolling in a leadership program.  That program gave her agency to take leadership in her own life. 

She had stories she was telling herself of why she shouldn’t or couldn’t do those things, things she always wanted to do.  She even had stories of why she should be put last or couldn’t start a business of her own.  

Come on… does this ring a bell????  

Her current mantra is… LIFE IS NOW.

Birth a new thing

At this juncture of her journey she felt called to empower women to truly live a life they love.  She decided to host an event that will create space and an experience for women who are traveling a similar journey.

On August 15th Jillian will launch The Empowered Woman Summit, the next big thing in her journey.  

The Empowered Woman Summit is designed to help women rediscover themselves, or discover themselves for the first time, to follow their intuition and to live the life they truly love.    

Jillian believes the take away for each woman will be as unique as they are.  Her intention is for attendees to genuinely feel supported and be empowered, to have fun, and to learn something new.  She wants women to be excited about their journey.  

Her story could be yours

Jillian’s story is similar to mine, and could feel kindred to yours too. This nurturing style of birthing something new into this world is a revolution.  Our season of birthing babies has shifted to giving birth to endless possibilities.  As soon as you birth this one thing, there will be another thing that wants to be birthed!  

The magic of the summit is that you don’t have to feel alone in your unique journey.  Jillian put it best when she mentioned the power and the joy of collaborating truly feels wonderful and delicious.  

Will you join us August 15th – 22nd for a week of collaborating with like-hearted women from all over the world?  We’ll start a revolution of women who are claiming their power to birth something new.  

TO REGISTER CLICK HERE

As always, I’m here to help you navigate this wonderful journey. I invite you to schedule a consultation by clicking on my calendar and picking a date/time that works for you.

I can’t wait to connect!

~Tiffany 

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

The question is not IF you journal, but HOW?

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Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention, author and certified life coaching helping midlife women answer the question, what's next.

My question this week is not IF you journal, but HOW do you journal?

After publishing The Four Stages Of Reinvention Journal, I have attracted more journal loving folks into my life.  I LOVE sharing the virtues of journaling with kindred spirits and learning all the creative ways to express our inner world on paper.

The point of journaling is to get your thoughts out of your mind and connect to the parts of your soul often ignored or silenced by the demands of life.  How you journal is just as personal as your inner thoughts.  

My journal practice

I enjoy a quiet morning ritual sitting in my favorite chair with a cup of coffee.  It’s my time to catch up on the world and journal.  Although, I am spending less time scrolling through the chaos, preferring to understand what I’m thinking first.  

My journal practice is eclectic, and sometimes moody.  At times I am devoted to the trinity thoughts (A brag, gratitude and a desire), while other times I simply vent my random thoughts in a mind dump.  

I have a formula I put my thoughts, feelings, actions and results into.  This is the secret sauce to understanding how I want to think or feel about any circumstance.  

I wish I was more artistic, but creativity does find me during these morning moments.  Ideas flow from a managed mind at peace.  

Always open to new journal practices, I was excited to be introduced to a couple new ones.  

Future Self journaling

I recently had the opportunity to take part in a master mind session called Meeting My Future Self, where my new friend Miriam guided an amazing meditation to meet the woman I will be in the future.  

Miriam invited me to envision a path that opened up to my future home.  I envisioned the breath taking castle owned by Darcy in Pride And Prejudice.  A confident woman led me through her beautiful home on a picturesque property with a huge pond and winding driveway.  We hung out in a room with tall windows overlooking an English garden.  I took a peak at her office, a white room with book shelves with no clutter.  She gave me a very special gift that signified that I no longer needed to wait for permission to achieve my dreams.  

There is no way to to convey the impact this meditation had on me, most of which was symbolic.  Since that experience, I have questioned wether my confident future self would spend time worrying about my daily stresses, or would she get to work solving the problems?  

Miriam encourages a daily practice focusing on your future self.  I couldn’t agree more!!!!

Future self journaling gets you out of the rut of obsessing about the past or worrying about the future.  You can’t do anything about the past, but you can create the future.  Allow your imagination to guide you!  

Cosmic Smashbook

I could really use a dose of this whimsy!  Another new friend, Jillian McGill leads workshops creating cosmic smashbooks.  I love the idea of learning to express my inner life through works of art.  

The concept is similar to the focus boards I used to create, and has inspired me to add art inside my journals.  I will start with pasting magazine images onto the pages, and maybe allow myself to doodle.  

Search the hashtag #cosmicsmashbook for ideas to create your own!

Do you do creative journaling?

How do you get started?

Well, like the old Nike commercial encouraged…. JUST DO IT.

Activate your imagination

Set aside a few minutes daily

Create your own practice with the ideas I’ve shared

I can help!

My clients love my journal prompts designed to ask questions that get to the heart of what they’re navigating. 

I’d love to talk to you about the benefit of personalized coaching.  I invite you to visit my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you.  

My new journal, The Four Stages Of Reinvention offers journal prompts with each stage.  This self-paced journal will help you find your future and answer the question, what’s next.

You can purchase The Four Stages Of Reinvention on Amazon, or click the link provided! 

P.S. A Cosmic gathering to be announced this week!

This week I will be announcing an awesome collaboration Jillian McGill has organized with expert authors, coaches, artists, teachers and speakers from all over the world (including me).

As I have mentioned, I have been attracting like minded women who want to thrive in the season we know as midlife.  I am honored to be in the company of so many extraordinary women.  

Stay Tuned for the exciting news!

Here’s to thriving y’all!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

Are you boring?

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Skipping down the yellow brick road….

How can midlife possibly be boring???

What I’ve heard from clients….

They finally broke free from the J.O.B., ditching the demanding schedule. 

Their kids are finally off the pay roll and living productive lives.  

They’ve planned for retirement and can finally breathe a sigh of relief.  

So… why does their new found freedom possibly feel empty, lonely or boring? 

What piques your curiosity?

I like to say that an empty nest is not boring because I live there.  Jeff won’t have to worry about a boring retirement.  There will always be a constant flow of ideas demanding his energy.  

I’ve been binge watching a YouTube channel, Roots and Refuge.  This sweet couple is living their dream publicly and sharing what they know about homesteading.  

This piqued my curiosity.  I wonder why I had never saved seeds?  Could this help me expand my garden?  These questions led to designing a new garden for all my new seeds and propagations.  

Guess what Jeff was doing this weekend????  

See full REEL on Instagram…. @2flownthecoop

Let loose your playfulness

Has your curiosity led you down a yellow brick road lately?  

From Dr. Christiane Northrup’s book Goddesses Never Age, around age 60 women’s fertility stops being about having children and starts being about what she can create for herself and for those around her.  

“They’re exuberant about life and they let loose their curiosity and playfulness.”  Dr. Northrup

That’s curious!  

How do you let playfulness and curiosity loose?  Here are a few ideas that came to mind….

  • Don’t wait to have a little one in tow to visit the museum or zoo.  
  • Join a Meet-up group (from eating out to fasting challenges)
  • Get a library card
  • Plan solo travel – I’ve done this in Costa Rica!  
  • Take dancing lessons
  • Learn to cook an exotic meal
  • Start a home apothecary (endless discoveries with this one!)
  • Take an interest in your genealogy
  • Invite an acquaintance to lunch or coffee
  • Attempt a cartwheel in the back yard (yep I occasionally do this to see if I still can)

Let me know if you either tried one or thought of one of your own!

How can I help?

“Curiosity is the insubordination in its purest form.”  Vladimir Nabokov

Still feeling stuck in boredom?  I can help you rebel from that mindset!

I offer several tools to get reacquainted with your youthful imagination.  

*Take advantage of my free guide, Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS.  I wanted to create a guide for women who think they are too old to change or create something completely different. 

*Get your copy of my recently published journal on Amazon, The Four Stages Of Reinvention.  This journal will help you discover there are predictable phases of change and build a road map for your future.    

*Take advantage of personalized coaching with me.  Not sure what that entails?  I invite you to find out if coaching is a good fit for you by scheduling a consultation.  Simply go to my calendar and pick a date/time that works for you.  

Here’s to letting loose curiosity and playfulness, and yellow brick roads!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

What I learned from my new hat

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Tiffany Eckhardt; master of reinvention, certified life coach and author. Helping midlife women answer the question what's next?
photo credit Ellen Renee Photography

What I learned from my new hat

I have a new hat to wear.  It’s actually the new title of published author.

I’m excited to announce my newly published journal, The Four Stages of Reinvention Journal, A Journal For the Journey on Amazon.  

Good thing I love hats, I have many.  My personal hats are of a wife, mother, daughter, sister, Fancy (aka grandma), niece and loyal friend.  Professionally I wear the hat of a certified life coach, but prefer to be called master of reinvention. My beloved guest house owner hat hardly feels like work.  Heck, you could say I have an abundant collection of hats!

My new hat accentuates my passion for helping women find their future, to believe their best years are ahead.  The Four Stages Of Reinvention walks you through the stages of resistance to resilience with journal practices to compliment each stage.  

Now that I’ve survived the process of publishing a journal on Amazon, I am ready to share what I’ve learned.

Get help from friends with amazing hats

Abundance is relational.  Thank God I’m abundantly blessed with people willing to help me.  The classic book Think And Grow Rich teaches the importance of building a network of support.

I could not have completed this project without my bestie, author Dawn Gardner.  First of all, she is the amazing photographer I used for many of the graphics.  As if that wasn’t valuable enough, she offered design suggestions, helped me format my pages for the journal and the cover, and was an invaluable beta reader.  

An awesome Master Mind leader and coach, Peg Wedig graciously offered editing suggestions, line by line and word by word to correct grammar and help fine tune my message.

I had several friends who read the journal before publishing, including a new friend Jillian McGill.  I’m honored to be included in her upcoming Empowered Woman’s Summit and love the review she offered!  

“Made me think quite a bit. For me, it seems that with a BIG life challenge I’m currently moving through, I dance between the four stages.  The inquiries and journal prompts are rich and robust. It’s beautifully put together.”

Wear an editor’s hat often

I will just admit it here.  I have poor grammar and spelling skills, which most likely frustrates my teacher and author friends.  The grammar police on social media has given me many citations over the years. 

In my haste to publish, I misspelled the word whether, the first word on the description page.  UUGH!  I discovered the misspelled word after I announced the journal on my personal Facebook page.  As a result, I learned how to properly correct copy on Amazon’s publishing, which took me several days.  Forgetting the first “h” in whether set me back about a week.  

Again, in my haste to share the journal, I sent out an email to 600 subscribers in the third person.  I had copied and pasted the the description page on Amazon.  It was too late to do anything about it.  I apologize for that one!  I was just too excited to edit my email properly.  

Live and learn!

Practice patience

Yeah, I don’t have much.  Can you relate?

I did practice patience in the creation stage of the journal, taking the time to recruit beta readers and painfully editing the journal.  Gratefully, my patience produced a beautiful journal.  

Publishing the journal tried my patience.  I love graphic design, but learning to format pages with bleed was frustrating.  {Thanks Dawn for getting me through that!}.  Waiting for the journal to go live was nerve-racking.  Waiting for a correction on the description page was gut-wrenching.  Finally, waiting for the first report on sales to post had me in knots. I’m hoping the journal will be well received, and to have a Sally Field moment, “You like me!  You really, really like me!”

Learning curve

I will continue to be a student of the publishing world, occasionally frustrating the grammar police on my blog and social media posts, and bugging my fiends for input on my grand ideas.  My work will gradually become polished as I learn from all the mistakes along the way.  

I am embracing the learning curve with humility and proving that age does not dictate what can be done or experienced. 

I share all of my imperfections in the hope of inspiring you to step out of your comfort zone.  

What are you waiting for?

Let me know how I can help!  

If you are resisting change in your life, let me encourage you. Once you’ve mastered the four stages or reinvention, you’ll never waste time fighting change again. 

You are capable of wearing multiple hats and learning to wear new ones.  

If you need help moving through a big life challenge, let’s connect.  I can help you dance through the stages of reinvention.  Check out my calendar for a free consultation!  

AND… check out my newly published journal on Amazon!  

Here’s to new hats!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

The miracle of journaling

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Here I go again… touting the virtues of journaling.  In fact, this time I will go a step further by offering the miracles of journaling.  I’ve discovered the practice of gratitude journaling actually reveals miracles.  

The scoop

This is a very trying time, I’m going to assume it is for you too.  I have had several set backs and a huge life altering decision heavy on my heart, to the point I actually felt heart sick.  At the same time, our family has so many rich blessings to celebrate. 

The pages of my journal are a bit schizophrenic lately, celebrating the joyful highs and then diving deep into despair.  I am not afraid of feeling the wide range of emotions available to our human heart, but this gave new meaning to having a torn heart.  

I practice gratitude, but this time I was crying out for miracles. 

Getting connected 

There are two ways to live life:  One as if nothing is a miracle, the other as if everything is.  ~Albert Einstein

Let that sink in.  

Are you connected to the miracles in your life?  

Journaling is the perfect way to get connected to your life.  In fact, as I was lamenting my need for miracles I had an epiphany.  Instead of journaling gratitude, what if I create a list of miracles?  Could I find a miracle in my life?  Could I come up with ten miracles?   

The miracle

And just like that miracles opened to me.  

Miracle:  an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs. {I’d like to add intervention in human hearts}

Miracles aren’t rare, reserved for the special people.  If you are aware, you will start seeing extraordinary events unfold in normal every day life.  

Heck, YOU are a miracle.   Statistically you have a one in 400 trillion chance of being born.  

“That’s a pretty big number,” I thought to myself. If I had 400 trillion pennies, I could probably build a decent-sized penny fortress with it. ~ Mel Robbins

The miracle of journaling challenge

Join me in a journal challenge to list ten miracles you’ve experienced recently.  Start a list that you can add to on a daily basis.  

What could be considered a miracle?  

  • LIFE is a miracle
  • A beautiful rainbow or sunset… how do those beautiful colors appear in the sky?
  • A marriage enduring life’s most difficult seasons
  • FaceTime calls from grandkids when you really miss them
  • A call from your son with the big announcement that he proposed to his girlfriend
  • Connecting with a kindred spirit on a FB group who becomes a cherished friend
  • Watching seeds you planted in your garden mature to a harvest
  • A chance conversation at a party that leads to a beautiful opportunity
  • The miracle of resilience after a very hard season

Still struggling to see miracles in your life?  Let me offer that anything you are grateful for has the seed of a miracle planted within it.  

Open your heart a little to see how extraordinary life really is.  

Are you curious about your miracles?

I want to hear from you.  

Will you take the challenge?  If so….

What in your daily life presented itself as a miracle?  

How difficult or easy was the challenge?

Do you feel more connected to the miraculous?

Do you agree with Einstein that you are capable of seeing everything in life as a miracle?

Lets connect

It’s my passion to inspire woman to lead miraculous lives, with abundant possibilities.  

Hearts grounded and souls free!

Abundance is relational.

If you’re a woman of miracles… let’s connect!  

If you long for miracles… let’s connect!  

Let’s band together for a collective mission to rise above all the BS!  

I offer several ways to connect with me…. 

Join my Tiff’s Tidbits, an encouraging weekly email with special offers

Follow me on Facebook – daily encouragement

Follow me on Instagram – encouragement and wacky videos

Schedule a consultation – I invite you for a zoom chat!  

So here’s to discovering the miracles and as the poet Derek Walcott writes, Sit and feast on your life.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

Shed the shoulding

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Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach, helping midlife women answer the question, what's next

Are you shoulding yourself? 

The word should needs to go!

The word should is a verb and is the least motivating word in the English language.  Should is used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions.

The word carries weight that does not motivate.

You might be shoulding if….

Anytime you think you should act in a certain way in order to be loved or worthy.  Stop it!

Here are some example thoughts you might have had.

I should be able to loose weight, if only I could just stop eating bread and sugar.   

I should like to work out.      

There is a person you’ve been avoiding that you should call.

You wake up in the morning with a list of things you should do, but none if them sound fun.  

The night before you drank a bottle of wine to take your mind off things, and the next morning think you shouldn’t have done that.  

Why you should yourself?

If you are a midlife woman like me, you have a long history of shoulding yourself.   

Your the woman they could count on for the cupcakes at your child’s school.  

You beat yourself up for not being a certain size jeans, as if your weight is the reason someone should like you.   

If you could only live up to the magazine pictures in Better Homes And Gardens!  

You feel guilt and shame when you use the verb should, implying you have no control over your actions or will.

I add a little rebellion to my feelings of guilt and shame.  I personally hate being told what to do, it’s part of my fiery personality. Can you relate?  

In any case, the word should indicates a dissatisfaction with life.  

Ask yourself why

I’ll be a little vulnerable and share a should in my life.  

I have a habit of drinking a couple of glasses of wine or old fashions in the evening.  It really isn’t bad, but I started thinking I should be able to enjoy the evening without the cocktail.  I worry excessive alcohol is affecting my wellness and productivity the next morning.  

I started thinking I should be able to quit the habit during the week.  

That should only caused me to feel ashamed and beat myself up every morning.  

When I finally got honest with myself and journaled my thoughts and feelings, I realized that the real reason I was drinking more than I wanted to was two feelings… boredom and loneliness.  I spent time exploring why I was bored and lonely, which led to even more insights into what was really going on.  

Now that I have identified reasons for my extra glass of wine, I can work on the root thoughts and feelings, and offer myself grace instead of shame.

Ask yourself why when you think you should? When asked a question, your mind will go to work to answer it.  

At the root of every should is a desire for something.  What is your heart really longing for?  

Shed the should

Midlife is time to get honest with yourself.  This is your season to shed the should!  

Start discovering what would feel zesty, juicy and rewarding.  A daily journal practice is a great way to discover what is really going on in your mind.  

Employ the word NO to requests of your time or energy. Say YES to everything that aligns with the life you want to create.  

I can help!

Do you have a long history with the word should?  Could you use a little help ditching the habit?  

My clients are rising above all kinds of midlife BS.  You can too!

It’s been my experience that hiring an objective listener identified where I’ve been shoulding myself.

As your life coach, I will help you leap over the divide from what you think you should be doing to what you want to be doing.  

Your best years begin with a healthy dose of curiosity. 

Curious about hiring a life coach?   I invite you to schedule a consultation by clicking Ask A Coach below

Here’s to shedding the should!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of Reinvention and Certified Life Coach helping midlife women answer the question, "What's next?"

Minding the gap

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Mind the gap

As a midlife coach, I focus on fresh starts.  Last week I addressed the feelings of restlessness, helping you to understand your thoughts cause your feelings.  This week I’d like to chat about the distance between what you think you should do and what you are actually doing. Your fresh start hinges upon you minding the gap.

The gap is a feeling.  

The greatest gap in the world is the gap between knowing and doing.  ~John Maxwell

The results we hope for in our lives are always created by the thoughts we entertain.  The gap between knowing and doing is our feelings.  

Again, notice what the gap is not…. obstacles, or any negative circumstance.  

Awareness

According to a Harvard Business Review article, the number one reason people don’t realize their potential is that they don’t know themselves.  

The best way to get to know yourself is develop a healthy measure of curiosity, observing your thoughts and feelings.  

Begin to observe what makes you tense or relaxed.  (Hint: it is a thought you are having). 

“To be true to myself, I must know myself: what I enjoy, what I resist, what moves me.  Pleasure asks that we reacquaint ourselves with who we are.”  ~Victoria Castle. 

Map your gap

I teach my clients a weekly scheduling practice called Monday Hour One.  In the process of scheduling everything out, my clients are taught to map out fun first.  

When I first started practicing Monday Hour One, I didn’t know what I liked to do for fun.  I had to think about what brought me pleasure throughout the week.  From this awareness, I now schedule yoga, gardening and roller skating first into my week.   

Added bonus:  Over time, I realized that the more I enjoyed life, the more creativity energy flowed through me.  Feeling tense or experiencing a sense of dread is an indication that I lack necessary fun in my life.  That’s an easy fix!  I now have a list of things that will add spice to my weekly schedule.

Journal your gap

I intuitively knew from an early age that expressing my thoughts in a journal is the key to minding the gap (my feelings).  

Witnessing your thoughts on paper allows you the opportunity to make changes, respect how you feel, and stop ignoring them.  

Here are a few journal prompts that will help you start minding your gap…

What do you feel?

How do you feel right now, tense or relaxed?

Is there something that inspires you? 

Are you loyal to something?

What do you avoid?

When do you feel most alive?

I can help

I enjoy sharing what I’ve learned from my personal growth journey.  One of my freebies is Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS, a free downloadable workbook.  In this you will get to know yourself better and mind your gap (feelings).  

It’s been my experience that hiring an objective listener helped identify where I was stuck. 

As your life coach, I will help you leap over the divide from what you think you should be doing to what you want to be doing.  I lead you through the four stages of change to fully get to know yourself.  

Your best years begin with a healthy dose of curiosity. 

Curious about hiring a life coach?   I invite you to schedule a consultation by clicking Ask A Coach below

Here’s to not only minding the gap, but embracing a fresh start like the badass you are!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of Reinvention and Certified Life Coach helping midlife women answer the question, "What's next?"