Step into your power

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach, helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.
STEPPING INTO MY POWER

Life is waiting for you to simply step into your power.

Last week I focused on the word liberate.  As usual, life presented me with an opportunity to grow in liberation.  Fortunately, I was able to take my circumstances to my life coach, who encouraged me to step into my power.  

BTW: Yes, I have a life coach too. 🙋🏼‍♀️

What the heck did she mean by that?

She went on to remind me that our brain’s job is to create the worst case scenario.  Of course, focusing on the tragic side of my circumstances seems familiar, and weirdly safer.

After allowing my brain to do it’s job, I journaled the worse case scenario. 

That was easy, now what?

It’s only fair to give the best case scenario equal time by journaling what I wanted to happen. 

My coach recommended creating my success story.  LOVE THIS!  I thought about all of the successes I’ve accumulated in my 51 years, and then included current goals and my commitment to my future self.

In journaling both best and worse case scenarios, I discovered all of my options and realized that either way I’ll be ok. 

In that a-ha moment, I stepped into my power

What the heck are you waiting for?

This is your life.  Are you who you want to be?  Are you showing up and getting the results you want?  

I will always advocate journaling, but let me offer another resource.  Check out my workbook, Rise Above Your Midlife BS.  This is a free workbook that helps you clarify what you believe, who you are and what you are willing to do to create your life.  Click the link below to get your copy!  

I believe every brain needs a coach.  There is no shame in sharing your thoughts with another person trained to listen.  I appreciate my life coach encouraging me to consider both the worse and the best case scenarios. Once I saw I’d be ok either way, I was able to step into my power.

I love helping midlife women get past their midlife BS and believe their best years are ahead.  

If the idea of stepping into your power excites you, schedule a free session.  This is your chance to see how a life coach can help you improve your relationships, get that job, find love after a midlife divorce, decide what to do with an empty nest, discover what you have in common with your husband, etc.  

Simply click my calendar link below.  

Here’s to stepping into your power!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky. 

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach.  Get your copy of her free workbook Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS
Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Liberated

This week I turned 51 years young, and feel LIBERATED.

lib.er.a.ted

Refusing to live with limitations & expectations.

Tiffany’s definition

The season of birthing children for me is complete, but a life force continues to express itself through my ideas, dreams and inspiration.  

In order to have that freedom, I am liberating myself from expectations and limitations.  

Liberation is not easy

I hope to inspire liberation! But trust me, I am in the arena fighting hard with you.

I never want to give the wrong impression by pretending I don’t have challenges.

I struggle with the opinions of others. I’m not at my ideal weight, or as fit as I want to be.

But, I’m evolving into someone I finally like and respect, and recognize room for more growth.

It only took me 51 years to have my own back. I’ve learned to forgive my inadequacies and appreciate resiliency.

Here’s what I’ve learned after a week journaling about liberation.

1. The first step to becoming liberated in midlife is to truly get to know yourself and decide how you want to show up in this messy world. Forgive yourself, even when others can’t. Learn what makes you come alive.

2. The second step is to come to terms with the expectations of others, understanding how your thoughts effect the relationship. Often times we don’t realize the impact of our own expectations on others. If you struggle with this step, go back to step one.

Liberation comes when you like yourself.

I regularly hear from midlife clients, “what’s the point?” 

God forbid you feel stuck by the limitations of age and wonder if getting older means you had your chance. What can you do to become liberated TOWARDS a future with abundant creativity and independent thought?

Journal to get to know yourself. Check out my Four Journal Prompts article for more ways to explore who you want to become.

What do you like to do for fun? This is a question I started asking myself. Start by making a “fun” list and schedule it into your week. Invite a friend to lunch.  Download the Babble app to learn a new language.  Join a yoga studio.  You do you.  

Are you curious why midlife women need a life coach? 

Fair question.

My clients are restoring relationships, getting new jobs, embracing technology for their businesses, planning dream trips, finding their dream man, and attaining their ideal weight.

Most importantly, they are working towards becoming the women they truly like with an exciting future.

In this season, you deserve to be liberated towards a life that you create. You are worth the hard work.  If you hang around with me long enough, I will convince you that your best years are ahead.

If this is you, schedule a free session to chat about your liberation towards the life you long for.

Here’s to all you ageless goddesses!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Books & Launches

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helps midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Book & Launches

Can you remember life prior to March 2020, or does 2020 feel like a weird time warp? I would have never survived to see a new year if it hadn’t been for sharing books and launches with my friend Dawn.  

Dawn and I met two years ago.  We had both attended Tony Robin’s Unleash The Power Within (UPW) conference in Los Angelos March, 2019.  We connected after the conference on a Facebook group for UPW attendees.  I posted about reading the legendary book Think And Grow Rich.  Dawn reached out to me suggesting we read it together, and the rest is history.  

The past two years we read seven books together, meeting every Tuesday to discuss the current chapter we are reading.  We bounce ideas and dreams off each other, and a fair bit of bitching about current events.  Our book club has become the highlight of my week.

Books

Dawn and I have learned from the legendary leaders Napolean Hill, Dr. Sue Morter, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Esther and Jerry Hicks, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Randy Pausch and Victoria Castle.  

We soaked in the wisdom of these great authors who taught on the power of our mind to create our reality.  

They inspired us to accept abundance and agelessness, encouraging us to ask for what we want, practice meditation and independent thought.  We learned how our brain works, how energy flows and how to take care of our well being.  

I am proud of my evolution into the woman I have become and will continue to pursue because of the books we read.

Launches 

Dawn and I finally met in person at Tony Robin’s Business Mastery August 2019.  If UPW rooted seeds of greatness, Business Mastery was the fertilizer to launch our dreams.

I made the decision to apply for the Life Coach School and become a life coach.  It was a leap of faith and a huge investment in my future.  A year later I launched a coaching practice helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.   

Dawn felt a stirring in her soul, tugging her to pursue a passion for crafting stories and Indy publishing.  The past two years has brought about some hard changes, letting go of her photography business to become a working author.  In fact, as I am writing this blog article, Dawn is getting ready to officially launch her fourth book Eyes Of The Peacock.

Join us!

Always opened to a crazy idea, Dawn agreed to share our book club with y’all this Tuesday (3/23/21) as way of celebrating two years of unimaginable growth and the launch of Dawn’s latest book.

A book club chat with Tiffany Eckhardt and Dawn Gardner.

Join us Tuesday, March 23rd 2pm EST live on Facebook, as we discuss the books we love and our liberating launches.

If you couldn’t make it live… Here’s the replay:

In sharing our stories, from books and our launches, we hope to inspire you to believe in abundant possibilities and become ageless goddesses too.  

Here’s to all our books and launches!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Here’s Your One Chance Fancy

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach, helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Here’s your one chance Fancy.  Or is it?

My life has been a series of starts and stops, failing forward and reinventing myself.  Was each chapter really my one chance, or one of many?

My story

As a self proclaimed master of reinvention, let me share a chapter from my story that sheds light on how I earned this title.  

The exact timeframe has become fuzzy, but in a distant life ago I was a REALTOR.  My career timing is predictable, always getting into a business on the tail end of a boom.  The little midwestern town I called home was hit hard by the housing crash of 2008.  My husband Jeff made it clear to me that I could no longer market homes that had no chance of selling and short sales suck!  

My “one chance”

One of my colleagues went to work as the head of a sales department for a local manufacturing company.  He encouraged me to apply for their inside sales position. Although I was honored to be offered a job, I was suspicious of “working for the man.”

My friend set up an interview with their HR department.  I took tests, answered questions and got a tour of the facility.  I thought it went well, until I was called back for a second interview.  The need for a second interview seemed silly.  I remember thinking my friend knows my work ethic and what more could they possibly ask of me?

Remember, I am not the corporate type.  None of the rules made sense to me.  

On my way out the door for the second interview, I turned to my husband Jeff for advice.  I was a bit nervous and had no idea what to expect on the second interview.  Without hesitation Jeff responded, “I don’t know.  All I can think of is, this is your one chance Fancy, don’t let me down.”

From that day forward my nickname became Fancy.  

I got the position.  It lasted six months, but not all lost. This chapter has a happy ending. Jeff and I went to Italy on my earnings. And I learned that there are many other chapters to write.

Midlife misconception  

One midlife misconception is that all the chances exist in our twenties and thirties.  Anxiety hits in your mid forties when you start to worry the options in life have dried up.

“Aging is not lost youth, but a new stage of opportunity and strength.”  Betty Friedan

As the master of reinvention, I could share numerous stories to illustrate that this anxiety is in fact a misuse of your imagination.  

I’m grateful that I did not allow preconceived notions about corporate life {aka working for the man} to prevent me from accepting the inside sales position.  That chapter taught me a lot, including the important skill of accepting when it was time to move onto the next chapter.

It’s as if you aren’t aware of the abundant possibilities until you remove the blockage of anxiety.  Employ your imagination by allowing your mind to surf an array of options for your next chapter {DREAM}.

Your story

Here’s your one chance Fancy… don’t let yourself down.  To thine own self be true.  The limit is the sky.  

“When faced with the decision to fall back or press on, the whole Universe holds it’s breath.”  John Eldredge

Press onward to a fabulous midlife by grabbing a copy of my free workbook:  Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS. 

For those of you who are curious about hiring me, I offer a free session.  This is a chance to chat with me about a current issue or the broad view of your next chapter.  

I work with midlife women who are ready to move onto the next chapter, but need a little help working through their BS.  Maybe you can’t see any options.  I can help!

Or maybe you see too many options.  Never before in history have we had more options for midlife.  I can help you identify what you really want.

Here’s to abundant possibilities and the best years ahead!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Flip The Script

Did you have a familiar script to live by up until now? Are you ready to birth something new at midlife? Here’s a fun exercise to stir those creative juices and to begin to flip the script. 

If your life played out on the big screen, what would the title of your life be?  

Sex In The City

The Housewife of {your town}

Real Women Have Curves

Last Woman Standing

Unfortunately, here are a few midlife titles I hear instead…

I Am Too Old To Attract My Dream Partner

My Empty Nest Is Boring

My body Is In Decline

I Have Never Done That Before

All too often, midlife misconceptions keep women stuck in a script that they didn’t write.  Dear friend, you are capable of far more than you can possibly imagine.  

In fact, you are not doing anyone favors by staying stuck.  You just need to flip the script.  

How do you flip the script?

As the master of reinvention, let me offer you ideas to take charge of your manuscript.

1. Ditch midlife BS

Last week I launched a free workbook, Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS.  The first lesson I teach is to ask the question, is it true?

The simple, yet powerful, question trains your brain to not accept every thought as the truth.  

For instance, you might think that you are too old to reach your ideal weight.  Is that true? Is believing your are too old to be skinny a thought worth keeping?  It’s up to you.  

As the author, it is your decision to keep it or ditch it.  

2. Journal

The daily “trinity thoughts” are useful journal prompts, and will allow you see patterns in your life.  “This exercise will help you remember how important it is to enjoy life instead of just getting through your To Do list.”  ~ Dr. Christiane Northrup. 

1. Something to brag about – wow!  I had a hard time with this one at first.  What are you really proud of?  Can you imagine how good you will feel celebrating daily successes?  

2. Something to appreciate – gratitude is a an attitude everyone could agree on.  Look for something you appreciate about your life, your body and/or your tribe on a daily basis. 

3. Something you desire – OK this is a muscle that needs to be flexed!  I have gotten very clear on what I want in life by answering this daily.  It might be easier to answer what you don’t want, but can you name one thing you desire right now? 

3. Know the what and why, ditch the how

Jeff and I dream of the day when he can finally retire from his career.  To clarify, retirement does not mean an end to projects or adventure.  I envision building more guest homes and scaling my coaching business.  For fun, we both want to hike and travel.  Jeff dreams of cycling across the United States.  Purchasing a RV to see family and friends across the US is a huge part of our dream.

There are many reasons why this dream pulls us, but the main one is to invest more time together and with our family.  When the why is strong enough the how will take care of itself.  

Dr. Martin Luther King had a “I have a dream” speech, not a “I have a how” speech.  Often times, the how chokes your dream.  So, save the plan for later… DREAM!  

Here’s a fun activity to tap into your dream muscle….

1.  Ask yourself, “wouldn’t it be amazing if…”

2.  What comes up for you when you allow your heart to dream?  

3.  Give your dream a title.  The title to YOUR manuscript.  

4.  WHY did you chose that title?  

Do you feel stuck in an old story?

I’d love to help you flip the script and start creating your dream.  

As a certified life coach I am trained in helping you identify the old worn out story that is holding you back.  I am also a master of reinvention.  I’ve been in your shoes and know how to get your journey off on the right footing.  

Schedule a FREE mini session with someone who truly believes YOUR best years are ahead.  

Here’s to YOUR manuscript!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Rise Above Your Midlife BS

Where is the guide to midlife?
Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach, helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Have you found a guide for midlife?  Me neither. Although, I hear a lot of midlife BS. I’m just not ready to accept that midlife means I’m put out to pasture.

The problem my clients encounter is their inability to rise above their midlife bullshit.  Most women don’t even know they are sabotaging themselves.

Up until midlife, your pathway forward is usually laid out for you in a predictable way.  You graduate high school, then off to college or a trade school.  Maybe you went straight into the school of hard knocks, got married and started a family.  What ever path you chose, or was chosen for you, midlife finally offers a the freedom to explore options for the second half of life.  

Do any of the following BS thoughts sound familiar?

I’m too old to reach my ideal weight.

It is too late to find my dream partner.

Why should I start a business at my age?

There is no way I could travel alone.

An empty nest is lonely.

Life will be boring after retirement.

Who is this guy I’ve been married to for thirty years?

It’s inevitable that my health will decline.

I hope I can keep up with my grandkids. 

Which thoughts stand out to you?  Don’t beat yourself up over any of them.  It takes a lifetime to develop ways to sabotage yourself.    

I’m here to help you.  

After becoming aware of some of my own BS, I have created a workbook with thought provoking activities that will challenge your misconceptions about midlife and encourage you to try new things.

Finally, your pathway for a midlife pivot in less than an hour: a guilt free guide to rise above your own bullshit, even if you have a lifetime of BS to rise above.  

The best part is it is FREE!

Click the link below to get started!  

Here’s to the midlife adventure!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Why can’t you just get over it?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention.  Certified life coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.
Me… pulling up my big girl panties.

Why can’t you just get over it, if I can’t? The idea that a life coach has it all together and never experiences negative feelings is one of the biggest misconception I have encountered as a life coach.  As much as I would like to avoid unwanted emotions, I must confess that I experience ALL the good/bad and the ugly feelings available to the human race!  

Living in the Texas Tundra this past week has pushed all my buttons, and it got ugly!

During a coaching session with my coach {yes… coaches get coached!}, I bemoaned my dire situation living without water and experiencing rolling blackouts in frigid conditions.  I was heartbroken over canceling a trip to see my grandkids in Michigan.  I hadn’t taken a shower in four days!  

My coach patiently listened and then asked me what do you need right now?  I didn’t know.  I was just so angry!  She reminded me that I might need to stop resisting the anger and sit with awhile.  

It seems contrary to allow a “bad” emotion.  Aren’t we taught to pull up our big girl panties, stuff our emotions and quickly replace unwanted feelings with positivity?  

You might think there is something wrong with you and want to hide the ugly. The problem is the more you resist an emotion, the more power you give it.  

I should just get over it.

I should be able to get over it and pull up those damn big girl panties.

Friends, please don’t “should” yourself.  Feelings are apart of the human experience. 

It is actually not helpful to resist, justify or avoid the negative feelings.  Beating yourself up compounds the negativity.  You are not a bad person for experiencing a “bad” emotion.  

What you need in a funk is compassion.  Don’t be upset about being upset.  Simply think to yourself, Of course I feel….  

One of my clients was experiencing grief from the loss of her father, and anger over all the details left for her to sort through.  She had an a-ha moment when I gave her permission to grieve, and offered that of course she was angry.  Her grief may not totally go away, but she became aware of how it showed up for her, and sometimes it was with anger.  

In my situation, of course I was angry.  Busted pipes, no heat, and the isolation of being stuck inside is frustrating.  The more I tried to talk myself out of being mad, the more I actually perpetuated the anger.  

Sit with it.  

Allowing your feelings to exist takes practice, but once you get good at it you’ll be less likely to drink a bottle of Merlot to avoid the feeling.  

Caution:  I’m not talking about indulging an emotion.  Some women believe that worry is not only necessary but a badge of honor.  I’m suggesting for you to become the witness of your feelings.

A feeling is basically a vibration in your body caused by a thought.  You can become the observer of the feeling and not the reactor. 

Get curious about it.  Can you describe the feeling and where it is showing up in your body?  Does it feel like a rapid heart beat?  Is it a gut feeling?  How is your body responding to this feeling?

Instead of pushing it away, breath with it.  

What do you notice?  Can you begin to acknowledge that the feeling is harmless, simply a vibration that will eventually pass?  

Let it go.

When you identify the feeling and allowed it, you take the power away from it.  

This is a game changer.  You are no longer under the control of the unwanted emotions, but are in control of them.  

It is likely that once the feeling looses it’s power, it melts away and you will feel lighter.  

If it persists, ask yourself how do I want to feel?  

I had a thought that turned my mood around, When you argue for your misery you get to keep it.  Why was I arguing for my misery???

When my coach asked me, “What do you need?”  I needed to feel safe, cared for, assured that it was all going to work out.  Staying mad at my situation was not going to produce the feelings of peace I longed for.  I was able to look for the bright side after sitting with the anger and a proper cry. 

Giving you permission

I am the first to admit that I can be a pill.  I have irrational thoughts, stubborn beliefs and outbursts that I wish to avoid.  Becoming a life coach does not make me immune. 

Thankfully, I have learned how to accept crazy and unwanted feelings with compassion, knowing I have the tools to process them in a healthy way.    

I also acknowledge that some emotions are not an easy fix.  If you are be dealing with abuse or addiction, I highly recommend getting the help of a therapist.  

My intention is to give you permission to be human.  Feel all the feels that life has to offer.  Embrace the idea that occasionally you will feel uncomfortable and unwanted emotions.  

How could you possibly experience bliss if you didn’t also know that awful exists?  

I love helping women embrace life using the tools that I’ve learned.  If you need help working through this messy life, I’d love to chat!  Schedule a FREE session!  It is a one time Zoom call to see if hiring a life coach is a good fit for you.  Simply click the link below and pick a date/time that works for you.  

Here’s to being human and throwing away the damn big girl panties!

~Tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Question: Has beating yourself up ever motivated you to change?

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of Reinvention and certified life coach helping midlife women to believe their best years are ahead.
Pretty scary… LOL!

I wonder if beating yourself up ever motivated you to change. Let me explain…

As I headed to my morning Restorative Yoga class last week, I began beating myself up for ditching my fitness and eating protocol.  GEESH, why did I ditched my routine back August, 2020???  I could blame it on the emotional roller coaster of current events, or on family vacation, or on the holidays, but I knew deep down that I couldn’t blame my lack of fitness on any circumstance.  

As I drove myself to yoga the mental beat down continued.  Why had I let myself go?  I had lost interest and the energy to be dedicated to a work out routine. I was aware that beating myself up was not an effective way to get back on track, but couldn’t get a grip on the condemning thoughts that had taken up residency in my mind.  

Restorative yoga was the perfect place for me to take refuge.  I was forced to quiet my mind and enjoy taking care of my body.  As I nestled into the practice a paradigm shift happened.  I thought to myself why not try loving yourself into shape?  

Wait what?  Love myself into shape?  YES, of course.  The reason I want to be in the best shape of my life is so that I can enjoy longevity and an active life.  I reminded myself to take a deep breath.  It is possible to get back into shape.  You aren’t a lost cause.  In fact, last year you whipped your body into shape and enjoyed the process!  

My mantra came to mind:  I love choosing her 2021!  I’ll choose the woman that is both compassionate and completely capable of getting in shape. 

So, where did I begin loving myself into shape?

Create tiny habits

In the book Tiny Habits The Small Changes That Change Everything,  BJ Fogg explains a concept that has revolutionized my approach to creating feel good habits.  He suggests that our bad habits are not character flaws, but behavior designs that can be addressed in tiny steps.  In other words, we are not the problem our approach to change is.

Oh good, you can finally stop beating yourself up!

In his research, Fogg discovered three things that will create lasting change; epiphany, change environment, and change habits in tiny ways.   He goes on to explain tiny is fast, can start now, is safe, can grow big, and most importantly does not rely on motivation or will power.  

I created a tiny habit that is getting me back into planking form.  I make coffee using the pour over method.  It creates a great cup of java, but takes a little bit of time with each cup.  I’m usually barely functional when I make my first cup of coffee, but have a pep in my step by the second cup.  So, while I wait for my second pour over to brew, I set the microwave alarm for one minute and plank in my kitchen.   I then pat myself on the back and think, just a little habit that I can build upon.  Yep, it definitely feels like loving myself back into shape.  

Identify obstacle thoughts in advance

It is human nature to sabotage your best made plans.  We know what we “should” do.  But friends, please don’t “SHOULD” yourself.  Simply identify how you will likely sabotage yourself in advance.

You know yourself better than anyone else.  If you are honest there are times when you don’t feel like doing the thing that gets you closer to your goal.  You can use the Tiny Habit method to create habits, but there will be times when your mind will get highjacked.  

Identifying obstacle thoughts gives you an opportunity to create a strategy.  

For example:  At the get go, I am always enthusiastic about an exercise plan.  However, there are mornings that I would rather avoid the discomfort of working out.  My tendency is to think of a million other things that need to be done and skip the workout.  I KNOW these thoughts do not produce the result I am hoping for.  

To combat the obstacle thoughts, I have chosen two replacement thoughts:  

  1. I don’t negotiate with myself.  
  2. I love to choose her.  

Bonus thought:  I am a girl who loves exercise.  I truly believed this thought prior to August 2020.  I know I can work towards this thought again, because I love the girl who loves exercise. 🧘🏼‍♀️🚴‍♂️🚣‍♀️ 

The struggle is real

No need to beat yourself up.  You are not alone in resistance to change.  The struggle is real for everyone with a desire to create something new.  

Seriously, as I just passed the mirror I was tempted to make a mental note on how my sweater made me look huge.  Luckily, I stopped in mid sentence to think instead Tiff you are working on it.  It won’t take long before your in bathing suit condition!  

There are definitely steps you can take.  Tiny habits and identifying obstacle thoughts in advance are great places to start.  Hiring a life coach will also help you rise above your BS to create change in your life.   

If this is resonating with you, schedule a FREE session.  This is a risk free opportunity to answer your questions about life coaching.

Simply click the calendar link below and pick a date/time that works for you.  

If I leave you with anything, I hope you will stop beating yourself up!  You have the power to create your life and are absolutely capable of change, but do it from a place of genuine love.  

So, here’s to loving ourselves into shape!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Finally, ditch the audition of other people’s opinion

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of midlife reinvention and certified life coach, encouraging YOU to ditch the audition and define the role YOU want to play in the universal story.

Have you spent your whole life trying to measure up?  Finally, midlife is the perfect time to ditch the audition of other people’s opinion and decide YOUR role in the universal story. 

Far too many midlife women I speak to are stuck thinking do I belong or struggling with the idea that they are either not enough or too much.  These fears keep you on the sideline of life, or worse allow others to define your life.  

“If your aim is to prove I am ‘enough,’ the project goes on to infinity because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable.”  ~ Nathaniel Brandon 

Decide you are in, and definitely not put yourself out!

The audition

According to Victoria Castle in her book The Trance of Scarcity,

“The trouble is, most of us are convinced that we didn’t make the cut, that we don’t belong, so we spend all our time either auditioning for other’s approval, hoping we’ll be included, or pretending not to care wether we’re in or out.

I spent my whole life auditioning for the parts that I felt would make me feel significant.  The audition has shown up in my life in a variety of ways.  Maybe you can relate.  

In high school I was friends with everyone, but never really fit in a specific group.  I was in the background feeling that I didn’t quite belong.  After high school I decided that I could start over as a confident outgoing person.  

Funny story, while in technical school for the Air Force, I showed up to a community room and boldly announced that I was going to the movies, inviting all who wanted to join me.  Jeff took me up on the offer and we’ve been together ever since.  

Over time, I allowed the feeling of not belonging to sneak back into my social life.  It took me nearly fifty years to ditch the audition of other people’s opinions and define the role I wanted to play in the universal story.  

Popularity Contest   

Social media artificially creates roles for us to audition.  Not many people display their crazy on their social media platforms, but curate their life as to win a popularity contest.  If you are not careful, you’ll measure your worth in followers, friends, likes, emojis, etc.

The popularity contest showed up in nearly every business I attempted.   Believing business is some kind of popularity contest that I had no chance winning, I took myself out of the game on numerous occasions.  I now appreciate the valuable contribution I have to offer and see how I can serve others instead of win their approval.  

You may not be business minded, but I bet you can think of ways this sneaky contest shows up in midlife if you let it. 

Other People’s Opinions

As I explained in my blog article: The Gift That Keeps On Giving, midlife is a gift.  Not only is it be a season of financial, time and failure freedom; it could be the season you start living for your own opinion. 

If you are living in fear of other people’s opinion, you are assuming to know what they think. 

First of all honey, they aren’t thinking of you.  Studies have shown that most people are really only thinking of their own life.  They are spending more time judging themselves than they judge you.

When you are worried what other people think, it is because you assume and fear the opinion they are thinking is true. 

Society expectations

I am dedicated to those who can’t be caged, living a life of a Gen.U.Ine Free Spirit.  

I’ve never fit in a box.  It used to bother me, but now I embrace it.  

There are numerous was society might have boxed you in.  Pressures to get married, not to get married; have kids, not to have kids; homeschool versus public education; go to college or the school of hard knocks; retire or stay in a soul sucking job….  Get the picture?  

Midlife is the season you can finally defy the cage and define who you want to be.    

End the audition in three steps

1.  Life is not a popularity contest when you genuinely love who you are.  I am proof that when you show up as your true self, you attract the people who are meant to be in your life.  Ask Jeff.

2. Create, and recreate, the role you want to play in the universal story.  There are no society rules or opinions that matter, but your own.  Define your life from within.

3.  Simply get past your own bullshit story by listening to the stirring of your soul. 

Will you accept YOUR part?

If your soul is stirring, I want to encourage you to end the audition! 

So many women I work with are at the precipice of change and need to pivot, but worry about what other people think of them or fear they won’t belong.  I can help!  

Schedule a FREE session to chat with me about rising above your midlife bullshit, including the opinion of others.  I can help you identify where you are, the lies you are believing and how to navigate forward.  

It is time you defined midlife and the role you play in the universal story.  If you hang with me long enough I will convince you that your best days are ahead.  

Here’s to a life defined within!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women get past their midlife BS to create an amazing 2nd half.
CIRCA 2008 – biker babe season

The gift that keeps on giving.  No, I’m not talking about a STD, but a life season that first appears as a quandary, but is actually a gift.

Let me explain…

When you think of midlife do you first think of crisis?  These days a midlife crisis is not reserved for men in their 40’s and 50’s, but women are also throwing all caution to the wind for what makes them feel young and carefree.  Not to be outdone, the millennials are now claiming a quarter life crisis for different reasons.  GEESH.  

So, what is this really all about?  According to John Mayer, it might just be a stirring of the soul.    The quandary seems to be, am I living it right?

Ditching responsibility for fun seems to be the answer to the stirring of the soul at midlife, at least for those souls who misunderstand the gift.   

Biker Babe

Ditching responsibility certainly felt right while on the back of Jeff’s Harley Davidson riding through the Blue Ridge Mountains with the wind blowing through my hair.  

Ok I’ll admit, I had my own melt down in my early 40’s.  Jeff and I were dealing with the housing crash of 2008.  Real estate investing was yet another business I tried and failed at.  It was a very stressful time for both of us.

Thankfully, we were able to ride out the stress together, on the back of Jeff’s Harley.  I loved escaping life on his Harley!  I felt like a badass biker babe in all my leather gear.  

Harley Davidson has some of the best commercials.  And just like this commercial, Jeff and I were going where the wind took us, believing in going our own way.  It was a time to buck the system that was built to smash individuals like bugs on a windshield.  And God knows I wanted to stick it to the MAN!  OH, FREEDOM!  {Jeff might come home to a new Harley… forgot how much I loved it}

The problem was that when we returned home from trips to the Blue Ridge Mountains, we still had major problems to solve.  

The Gift

This biker babe believes that midlife is what you make it, and it can be one hell of a ride!  It is THE gift that keeps on giving if you choose to believe your best years are ahead.  

If life expectancy is around 100, you may have approximately 50 years of life ahead, with the invaluable advantage of life experience behind you.  Think about it.   

What are the gifts of midlife?

1. Financial Freedom

Generally speaking, midlife is a season with more disposable income than ever before.  

I can remember balancing the checkbook after Jeff got paid as a young airmen in the Air Force.  We often had $15 to our name for the next two weeks, of which we’d go get pizza.  Thank God, thirty years later we don’t have the pressure of lack.  Jeff and I make more money than we could have imagined in our twenties.  

On top of earning more than we once thought was possible; Jeff and I have learned from our epic financial failures.  Don’t get me wrong, I am still uncovering faulty money beliefs, but I have the time and resources to work through them!

The gift of midlife is that you can afford to relax the fear of lack, using your well earned financial maturity to fully live.  So, there is money to travel or invest in hobbies, or take off on a Harley!

2. Time Freedom

Even though the house is eerily quiet, you’ll notice this season offers autonomy. 

The kids have flown the coop {or you did – see my story}.  You are retired, or close to it. Although, I found that I am getting up earlier than I did when I was forced to follow a schedule, there really is no need for an alarm clock.  

Once you get past the shock of an empty nest, you start to fill your time with things you’ve always wanted to do.  There is now freedom to develop your own circadian rhythm and to explore what sets your heart free.  

God forbid the kiddos move back home, then move out, then move back home, and finally move out again.  You LOVE them, but you start to thoroughly enjoy freedom of time!

3. Failure Freedom {aka wisdom}

We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us. ~Marcel Proust

Hopefully, you have figured out by midlife that a failure is just a stepping stone, a lesson learned.  You aren’t a failure because you have a set back.  It is an event.  

Ok, I know you don’t get a mystic pass from failures at midlife.  It is naive to think you can avoid them, but failure do not paralyze you any longer. 

In addition to midlife wisdom, the opinions of others simply don’t factor into our choices as much as they once did.  What other people think of your decisions is none of your business.  In fact, some of us badass midlife women relish in giving “them” something to talk about!  {ok… maybe that’s just me}

You get it, but can’t quite embrace it    

You may want an interesting life, just without the midlife crisis.  Me too!  Although, I am scheming ways to get Jeff a new Harley, so we can escape into the sunset.  🤔

Viewing midlife as a gift might make sense, but are you still unsure that you can embrace it?  Is there still a sneaky feeling that you missed the window of opportunity, as if dreams are reserved for the youth? 

This is where I can help!  As a master of reinvention, I can help you get past your own bullshit to believe it is possible to create your life.  If you hang out with me long enough, I will convince you that your best years are ahead!  

I offer a FREE session to those of you who have a stirring in your soul.  I’d love to chat with you about where you are currently and where you’d like your life to be.  I can help you rise about your own BS to start creating!

As always, I am dedicated to those who can’t be caged.  Here’s to midlife freedom, the gift that keeps on giving!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach