Rise Above Your Midlife BS

Where is the guide to midlife?
Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach, helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Have you found a guide for midlife?  Me neither. Although, I hear a lot of midlife BS. I’m just not ready to accept that midlife means I’m put out to pasture.

The problem my clients encounter is their inability to rise above their midlife bullshit.  Most women don’t even know they are sabotaging themselves.

Up until midlife, your pathway forward is usually laid out for you in a predictable way.  You graduate high school, then off to college or a trade school.  Maybe you went straight into the school of hard knocks, got married and started a family.  What ever path you chose, or was chosen for you, midlife finally offers a the freedom to explore options for the second half of life.  

Do any of the following BS thoughts sound familiar?

I’m too old to reach my ideal weight.

It is too late to find my dream partner.

Why should I start a business at my age?

There is no way I could travel alone.

An empty nest is lonely.

Life will be boring after retirement.

Who is this guy I’ve been married to for thirty years?

It’s inevitable that my health will decline.

I hope I can keep up with my grandkids. 

Which thoughts stand out to you?  Don’t beat yourself up over any of them.  It takes a lifetime to develop ways to sabotage yourself.    

I’m here to help you.  

After becoming aware of some of my own BS, I have created a workbook with thought provoking activities that will challenge your misconceptions about midlife and encourage you to try new things.

Finally, your pathway for a midlife pivot in less than an hour: a guilt free guide to rise above your own bullshit, even if you have a lifetime of BS to rise above.  

The best part is it is FREE!

Click the link below to get started!  

Here’s to the midlife adventure!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Why can’t you just get over it?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention.  Certified life coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.
Me… pulling up my big girl panties.

Why can’t you just get over it, if I can’t? The idea that a life coach has it all together and never experiences negative feelings is one of the biggest misconception I have encountered as a life coach.  As much as I would like to avoid unwanted emotions, I must confess that I experience ALL the good/bad and the ugly feelings available to the human race!  

Living in the Texas Tundra this past week has pushed all my buttons, and it got ugly!

During a coaching session with my coach {yes… coaches get coached!}, I bemoaned my dire situation living without water and experiencing rolling blackouts in frigid conditions.  I was heartbroken over canceling a trip to see my grandkids in Michigan.  I hadn’t taken a shower in four days!  

My coach patiently listened and then asked me what do you need right now?  I didn’t know.  I was just so angry!  She reminded me that I might need to stop resisting the anger and sit with awhile.  

It seems contrary to allow a “bad” emotion.  Aren’t we taught to pull up our big girl panties, stuff our emotions and quickly replace unwanted feelings with positivity?  

You might think there is something wrong with you and want to hide the ugly. The problem is the more you resist an emotion, the more power you give it.  

I should just get over it.

I should be able to get over it and pull up those damn big girl panties.

Friends, please don’t “should” yourself.  Feelings are apart of the human experience. 

It is actually not helpful to resist, justify or avoid the negative feelings.  Beating yourself up compounds the negativity.  You are not a bad person for experiencing a “bad” emotion.  

What you need in a funk is compassion.  Don’t be upset about being upset.  Simply think to yourself, Of course I feel….  

One of my clients was experiencing grief from the loss of her father, and anger over all the details left for her to sort through.  She had an a-ha moment when I gave her permission to grieve, and offered that of course she was angry.  Her grief may not totally go away, but she became aware of how it showed up for her, and sometimes it was with anger.  

In my situation, of course I was angry.  Busted pipes, no heat, and the isolation of being stuck inside is frustrating.  The more I tried to talk myself out of being mad, the more I actually perpetuated the anger.  

Sit with it.  

Allowing your feelings to exist takes practice, but once you get good at it you’ll be less likely to drink a bottle of Merlot to avoid the feeling.  

Caution:  I’m not talking about indulging an emotion.  Some women believe that worry is not only necessary but a badge of honor.  I’m suggesting for you to become the witness of your feelings.

A feeling is basically a vibration in your body caused by a thought.  You can become the observer of the feeling and not the reactor. 

Get curious about it.  Can you describe the feeling and where it is showing up in your body?  Does it feel like a rapid heart beat?  Is it a gut feeling?  How is your body responding to this feeling?

Instead of pushing it away, breath with it.  

What do you notice?  Can you begin to acknowledge that the feeling is harmless, simply a vibration that will eventually pass?  

Let it go.

When you identify the feeling and allowed it, you take the power away from it.  

This is a game changer.  You are no longer under the control of the unwanted emotions, but are in control of them.  

It is likely that once the feeling looses it’s power, it melts away and you will feel lighter.  

If it persists, ask yourself how do I want to feel?  

I had a thought that turned my mood around, When you argue for your misery you get to keep it.  Why was I arguing for my misery???

When my coach asked me, “What do you need?”  I needed to feel safe, cared for, assured that it was all going to work out.  Staying mad at my situation was not going to produce the feelings of peace I longed for.  I was able to look for the bright side after sitting with the anger and a proper cry. 

Giving you permission

I am the first to admit that I can be a pill.  I have irrational thoughts, stubborn beliefs and outbursts that I wish to avoid.  Becoming a life coach does not make me immune. 

Thankfully, I have learned how to accept crazy and unwanted feelings with compassion, knowing I have the tools to process them in a healthy way.    

I also acknowledge that some emotions are not an easy fix.  If you are be dealing with abuse or addiction, I highly recommend getting the help of a therapist.  

My intention is to give you permission to be human.  Feel all the feels that life has to offer.  Embrace the idea that occasionally you will feel uncomfortable and unwanted emotions.  

How could you possibly experience bliss if you didn’t also know that awful exists?  

I love helping women embrace life using the tools that I’ve learned.  If you need help working through this messy life, I’d love to chat!  Schedule a FREE session!  It is a one time Zoom call to see if hiring a life coach is a good fit for you.  Simply click the link below and pick a date/time that works for you.  

Here’s to being human and throwing away the damn big girl panties!

~Tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Question: Has beating yourself up ever motivated you to change?

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of Reinvention and certified life coach helping midlife women to believe their best years are ahead.
Pretty scary… LOL!

I wonder if beating yourself up ever motivated you to change. Let me explain…

As I headed to my morning Restorative Yoga class last week, I began beating myself up for ditching my fitness and eating protocol.  GEESH, why did I ditched my routine back August, 2020???  I could blame it on the emotional roller coaster of current events, or on family vacation, or on the holidays, but I knew deep down that I couldn’t blame my lack of fitness on any circumstance.  

As I drove myself to yoga the mental beat down continued.  Why had I let myself go?  I had lost interest and the energy to be dedicated to a work out routine. I was aware that beating myself up was not an effective way to get back on track, but couldn’t get a grip on the condemning thoughts that had taken up residency in my mind.  

Restorative yoga was the perfect place for me to take refuge.  I was forced to quiet my mind and enjoy taking care of my body.  As I nestled into the practice a paradigm shift happened.  I thought to myself why not try loving yourself into shape?  

Wait what?  Love myself into shape?  YES, of course.  The reason I want to be in the best shape of my life is so that I can enjoy longevity and an active life.  I reminded myself to take a deep breath.  It is possible to get back into shape.  You aren’t a lost cause.  In fact, last year you whipped your body into shape and enjoyed the process!  

My mantra came to mind:  I love choosing her 2021!  I’ll choose the woman that is both compassionate and completely capable of getting in shape. 

So, where did I begin loving myself into shape?

Create tiny habits

In the book Tiny Habits The Small Changes That Change Everything,  BJ Fogg explains a concept that has revolutionized my approach to creating feel good habits.  He suggests that our bad habits are not character flaws, but behavior designs that can be addressed in tiny steps.  In other words, we are not the problem our approach to change is.

Oh good, you can finally stop beating yourself up!

In his research, Fogg discovered three things that will create lasting change; epiphany, change environment, and change habits in tiny ways.   He goes on to explain tiny is fast, can start now, is safe, can grow big, and most importantly does not rely on motivation or will power.  

I created a tiny habit that is getting me back into planking form.  I make coffee using the pour over method.  It creates a great cup of java, but takes a little bit of time with each cup.  I’m usually barely functional when I make my first cup of coffee, but have a pep in my step by the second cup.  So, while I wait for my second pour over to brew, I set the microwave alarm for one minute and plank in my kitchen.   I then pat myself on the back and think, just a little habit that I can build upon.  Yep, it definitely feels like loving myself back into shape.  

Identify obstacle thoughts in advance

It is human nature to sabotage your best made plans.  We know what we “should” do.  But friends, please don’t “SHOULD” yourself.  Simply identify how you will likely sabotage yourself in advance.

You know yourself better than anyone else.  If you are honest there are times when you don’t feel like doing the thing that gets you closer to your goal.  You can use the Tiny Habit method to create habits, but there will be times when your mind will get highjacked.  

Identifying obstacle thoughts gives you an opportunity to create a strategy.  

For example:  At the get go, I am always enthusiastic about an exercise plan.  However, there are mornings that I would rather avoid the discomfort of working out.  My tendency is to think of a million other things that need to be done and skip the workout.  I KNOW these thoughts do not produce the result I am hoping for.  

To combat the obstacle thoughts, I have chosen two replacement thoughts:  

  1. I don’t negotiate with myself.  
  2. I love to choose her.  

Bonus thought:  I am a girl who loves exercise.  I truly believed this thought prior to August 2020.  I know I can work towards this thought again, because I love the girl who loves exercise. 🧘🏼‍♀️🚴‍♂️🚣‍♀️ 

The struggle is real

No need to beat yourself up.  You are not alone in resistance to change.  The struggle is real for everyone with a desire to create something new.  

Seriously, as I just passed the mirror I was tempted to make a mental note on how my sweater made me look huge.  Luckily, I stopped in mid sentence to think instead Tiff you are working on it.  It won’t take long before your in bathing suit condition!  

There are definitely steps you can take.  Tiny habits and identifying obstacle thoughts in advance are great places to start.  Hiring a life coach will also help you rise above your BS to create change in your life.   

If this is resonating with you, schedule a FREE session.  This is a risk free opportunity to answer your questions about life coaching.

Simply click the calendar link below and pick a date/time that works for you.  

If I leave you with anything, I hope you will stop beating yourself up!  You have the power to create your life and are absolutely capable of change, but do it from a place of genuine love.  

So, here’s to loving ourselves into shape!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Finally, ditch the audition of other people’s opinion

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of midlife reinvention and certified life coach, encouraging YOU to ditch the audition and define the role YOU want to play in the universal story.

Have you spent your whole life trying to measure up?  Finally, midlife is the perfect time to ditch the audition of other people’s opinion and decide YOUR role in the universal story. 

Far too many midlife women I speak to are stuck thinking do I belong or struggling with the idea that they are either not enough or too much.  These fears keep you on the sideline of life, or worse allow others to define your life.  

“If your aim is to prove I am ‘enough,’ the project goes on to infinity because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable.”  ~ Nathaniel Brandon 

Decide you are in, and definitely not put yourself out!

The audition

According to Victoria Castle in her book The Trance of Scarcity,

“The trouble is, most of us are convinced that we didn’t make the cut, that we don’t belong, so we spend all our time either auditioning for other’s approval, hoping we’ll be included, or pretending not to care wether we’re in or out.

I spent my whole life auditioning for the parts that I felt would make me feel significant.  The audition has shown up in my life in a variety of ways.  Maybe you can relate.  

In high school I was friends with everyone, but never really fit in a specific group.  I was in the background feeling that I didn’t quite belong.  After high school I decided that I could start over as a confident outgoing person.  

Funny story, while in technical school for the Air Force, I showed up to a community room and boldly announced that I was going to the movies, inviting all who wanted to join me.  Jeff took me up on the offer and we’ve been together ever since.  

Over time, I allowed the feeling of not belonging to sneak back into my social life.  It took me nearly fifty years to ditch the audition of other people’s opinions and define the role I wanted to play in the universal story.  

Popularity Contest   

Social media artificially creates roles for us to audition.  Not many people display their crazy on their social media platforms, but curate their life as to win a popularity contest.  If you are not careful, you’ll measure your worth in followers, friends, likes, emojis, etc.

The popularity contest showed up in nearly every business I attempted.   Believing business is some kind of popularity contest that I had no chance winning, I took myself out of the game on numerous occasions.  I now appreciate the valuable contribution I have to offer and see how I can serve others instead of win their approval.  

You may not be business minded, but I bet you can think of ways this sneaky contest shows up in midlife if you let it. 

Other People’s Opinions

As I explained in my blog article: The Gift That Keeps On Giving, midlife is a gift.  Not only is it be a season of financial, time and failure freedom; it could be the season you start living for your own opinion. 

If you are living in fear of other people’s opinion, you are assuming to know what they think. 

First of all honey, they aren’t thinking of you.  Studies have shown that most people are really only thinking of their own life.  They are spending more time judging themselves than they judge you.

When you are worried what other people think, it is because you assume and fear the opinion they are thinking is true. 

Society expectations

I am dedicated to those who can’t be caged, living a life of a Gen.U.Ine Free Spirit.  

I’ve never fit in a box.  It used to bother me, but now I embrace it.  

There are numerous was society might have boxed you in.  Pressures to get married, not to get married; have kids, not to have kids; homeschool versus public education; go to college or the school of hard knocks; retire or stay in a soul sucking job….  Get the picture?  

Midlife is the season you can finally defy the cage and define who you want to be.    

End the audition in three steps

1.  Life is not a popularity contest when you genuinely love who you are.  I am proof that when you show up as your true self, you attract the people who are meant to be in your life.  Ask Jeff.

2. Create, and recreate, the role you want to play in the universal story.  There are no society rules or opinions that matter, but your own.  Define your life from within.

3.  Simply get past your own bullshit story by listening to the stirring of your soul. 

Will you accept YOUR part?

If your soul is stirring, I want to encourage you to end the audition! 

So many women I work with are at the precipice of change and need to pivot, but worry about what other people think of them or fear they won’t belong.  I can help!  

Schedule a FREE session to chat with me about rising above your midlife bullshit, including the opinion of others.  I can help you identify where you are, the lies you are believing and how to navigate forward.  

It is time you defined midlife and the role you play in the universal story.  If you hang with me long enough I will convince you that your best days are ahead.  

Here’s to a life defined within!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women get past their midlife BS to create an amazing 2nd half.
CIRCA 2008 – biker babe season

The gift that keeps on giving.  No, I’m not talking about a STD, but a life season that first appears as a quandary, but is actually a gift.

Let me explain…

When you think of midlife do you first think of crisis?  These days a midlife crisis is not reserved for men in their 40’s and 50’s, but women are also throwing all caution to the wind for what makes them feel young and carefree.  Not to be outdone, the millennials are now claiming a quarter life crisis for different reasons.  GEESH.  

So, what is this really all about?  According to John Mayer, it might just be a stirring of the soul.    The quandary seems to be, am I living it right?

Ditching responsibility for fun seems to be the answer to the stirring of the soul at midlife, at least for those souls who misunderstand the gift.   

Biker Babe

Ditching responsibility certainly felt right while on the back of Jeff’s Harley Davidson riding through the Blue Ridge Mountains with the wind blowing through my hair.  

Ok I’ll admit, I had my own melt down in my early 40’s.  Jeff and I were dealing with the housing crash of 2008.  Real estate investing was yet another business I tried and failed at.  It was a very stressful time for both of us.

Thankfully, we were able to ride out the stress together, on the back of Jeff’s Harley.  I loved escaping life on his Harley!  I felt like a badass biker babe in all my leather gear.  

Harley Davidson has some of the best commercials.  And just like this commercial, Jeff and I were going where the wind took us, believing in going our own way.  It was a time to buck the system that was built to smash individuals like bugs on a windshield.  And God knows I wanted to stick it to the MAN!  OH, FREEDOM!  {Jeff might come home to a new Harley… forgot how much I loved it}

The problem was that when we returned home from trips to the Blue Ridge Mountains, we still had major problems to solve.  

The Gift

This biker babe believes that midlife is what you make it, and it can be one hell of a ride!  It is THE gift that keeps on giving if you choose to believe your best years are ahead.  

If life expectancy is around 100, you may have approximately 50 years of life ahead, with the invaluable advantage of life experience behind you.  Think about it.   

What are the gifts of midlife?

1. Financial Freedom

Generally speaking, midlife is a season with more disposable income than ever before.  

I can remember balancing the checkbook after Jeff got paid as a young airmen in the Air Force.  We often had $15 to our name for the next two weeks, of which we’d go get pizza.  Thank God, thirty years later we don’t have the pressure of lack.  Jeff and I make more money than we could have imagined in our twenties.  

On top of earning more than we once thought was possible; Jeff and I have learned from our epic financial failures.  Don’t get me wrong, I am still uncovering faulty money beliefs, but I have the time and resources to work through them!

The gift of midlife is that you can afford to relax the fear of lack, using your well earned financial maturity to fully live.  So, there is money to travel or invest in hobbies, or take off on a Harley!

2. Time Freedom

Even though the house is eerily quiet, you’ll notice this season offers autonomy. 

The kids have flown the coop {or you did – see my story}.  You are retired, or close to it. Although, I found that I am getting up earlier than I did when I was forced to follow a schedule, there really is no need for an alarm clock.  

Once you get past the shock of an empty nest, you start to fill your time with things you’ve always wanted to do.  There is now freedom to develop your own circadian rhythm and to explore what sets your heart free.  

God forbid the kiddos move back home, then move out, then move back home, and finally move out again.  You LOVE them, but you start to thoroughly enjoy freedom of time!

3. Failure Freedom {aka wisdom}

We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us. ~Marcel Proust

Hopefully, you have figured out by midlife that a failure is just a stepping stone, a lesson learned.  You aren’t a failure because you have a set back.  It is an event.  

Ok, I know you don’t get a mystic pass from failures at midlife.  It is naive to think you can avoid them, but failure do not paralyze you any longer. 

In addition to midlife wisdom, the opinions of others simply don’t factor into our choices as much as they once did.  What other people think of your decisions is none of your business.  In fact, some of us badass midlife women relish in giving “them” something to talk about!  {ok… maybe that’s just me}

You get it, but can’t quite embrace it    

You may want an interesting life, just without the midlife crisis.  Me too!  Although, I am scheming ways to get Jeff a new Harley, so we can escape into the sunset.  🤔

Viewing midlife as a gift might make sense, but are you still unsure that you can embrace it?  Is there still a sneaky feeling that you missed the window of opportunity, as if dreams are reserved for the youth? 

This is where I can help!  As a master of reinvention, I can help you get past your own bullshit to believe it is possible to create your life.  If you hang out with me long enough, I will convince you that your best years are ahead!  

I offer a FREE session to those of you who have a stirring in your soul.  I’d love to chat with you about where you are currently and where you’d like your life to be.  I can help you rise about your own BS to start creating!

As always, I am dedicated to those who can’t be caged.  Here’s to midlife freedom, the gift that keeps on giving!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Holiday Traditions With An Empty Nest

Holiday Traditions with an empty nest.  Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach offers how to navigate the holidays with an empty nest.
Grandkids & shenanigans!

Do you find yourself missing the awe of Christmas through your little one’s eyes?  Does your heart ache a little as you navigate holiday traditions with an empty nest?  

You are not alone.  It is a bitter sweet season for many of us.  

A love/hate relationship with holiday traditions.  

Confession:  I had a melt down today.  Jeff and I returned from a trip north to visit our grand babies in Michigan and celebrate Thanksgiving with my family in Ohio.  I could blame it on exhaustion from the long road trip, but the truth is decorating an empty nest is just not as fun as it used to be with kiddos under our roof.  

As a young Mom, I remember wearing myself out to provide my littles with all the treasured traditions that my Mom and Grandma effortlessly modeled for me.  I became weary of Christmas to the point of almost dreading all the work, which was not how I wanted my kids to remember their childhood.  

One year I lowered my expectations during the holidays and insisted on creating our own yearly traditions.  I have fond memories of cutting our tree down at the local tree farm, baking cookies and giving new PJs on Christmas Eve.  Most years I caved on Christmas Eve and allowed the kids to open all their gifts.

It has been ten years since Jeff and I celebrated our final Christmas with our kids at home.  All the holiday hoopla doesn’t seem worth it without the kids.  My meltdown is definitely a sign that I need to rethink my relationship with holiday traditions and work to create new ones for this season of life.  

Our final Christmas before we all flew the coop.  Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach helps midlife women navigate the holidays with an empty nest.
Our Christmas finale.

Honor the past

Why is it so hard to move on, even after ten years?  

It is common for people to focus on a familiar past, especially during the holidays when you need the comfort of family traditions.  

It is helpful to allow yourself a trip down memory lane, but don’t wallow there.  Although memory lane is nostalgic, don’t forget to take off the rose color glasses.  

For instance, I have a lot of great memories of creating Christmas magic for my kiddos, but am brutally honest about the feelings of overwhelm I often experienced.  In fact, one year I decorated our Christmas tree with caution tape.  We had just purchased a historic home that we were in the middle of renovating.  I had a huge case of Ba-humbug!  

Having a healthy relationship with your past is part of my three step process to reinvent midlife and is especially helpful during the holidays.  

Living in the Now

Living in the now means creating a sense of tradition for this season of life.  

The holidays can be an exciting time to allow your creative juices to flow!  Regardless of the changes from year to year, pick a few traditions that just make you happy. This year I am excited about a few new ideas for holiday decorating and gifts… stayed tuned.  

As a reminder, there isn’t a playbook or manual for midlife.  Create Christmas magic for you!  

What memories can you create today that your future self will look back with fondness? 

A zesty future

Are you struggling this year? I know what it is like to ache for the season of creating Christmas magic for little ones, but I also know it is possible to move forward.  I can help you develop a healthy relationship with your past, present and future self.  

Create an intention for the holidays where you honor your past seasons, but fully live in the NOW with gratitude for each season moving forward.  

If you hang out with me for too long, I’ll convince you that your best years are ahead.

Gift yourself an investment into your future

You owe it to yourself to become everything you were meant to be.  I invite you to make an investment in your mind, your health and your future.

Are you curious how a life coach can help you navigate the holiday season?  Schedule a free consultation with me today!  Simply click the link below and choose a date and time on my calendar that works for you.  

Now that I have allowed myself a Christmas melt down, I can truly enjoy my cozy cottage decorated for this holiday season.  Here’s to  celebrating new holiday traditions!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Four things I ditched for an epic midlife pivot.

Four things I ditched for an epic midlife pivot.  Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Four things I ditched for an epic MIDLIFE PIVOT!

A midlife pivot is another way of expressing a need to reboot & reclaim your life.  Midlife women experience this urge to pivot as they face an empty nest, COVID downsize, a recent divorce or the anticipation of retirement.  Can you relate?

“There is nothing more powerful or radical or stunningly, radiantly beautiful than a woman who chooses to rebuild her life.  Day after day, hour after hour, no matter how many mistakes she must now spin into gold.”  ~ Cara Alwill Leyba

I’m in the throws of a radical reboot, and love sharing my journey in the hopes that it will inspire more midlife women to choose to reboot, reclaim and rebuild.  In this article I will share four things I recently ditched to lighten my load for the long haul.  

1. Fear Porn

A common obstacle for midlife women is fear or worry, even when the scenario rarely turns out as bad as imagined.  Fear is a misuse of our imagination, usually based on past experiences.  

Why would you obsess about potential bad?  Could you be addicted to a state of being that drives worry?  Do you honestly believe the emotion of fear or worry has the power to manipulate outcomes?  

Protect your energy by projecting what you actually want in the future.  When you feel the emotion of fear or worry, declare to yourself, “I now know what I don’t want.  What I want is…”  Your life will pivot when you reframe worry and even eliminate fear.

I made the decision to eliminate fear porn in March as the world shut down for COVID.  I just knew that a constant barrage of news would not support wellness.  I allowed myself to stay informed, but balanced it with equal amounts of information that encouraged my personal growth.  As a result, I believe I made better use of the past six months, stayed in great health and helped my clients in the process.  

2. Smack Talk

Who is your worst enemy?  I hope you answered you.  

The chatter continually “talking smack” about you is inside your head.  Wonder how many of the 60,000 thoughts you think on a daily basis are kind thoughts about yourself?  If 90% of your daily thoughts are the same as the day before, it is safe to say that you beat yourself up worse than your worst enemy.  

I recently came to terms with the smack talk in my head and moved forward with two actions.  

First, I forgave my past self.  I literally journaled an apology to my past self and released her from all guilt and shame concerning parts of my personality I did not appreciate.  

Second, I decided to learn the lesson that was being offered.  A pastor once told me a long that lessons not learned will repeat themselves until they are finally learned.  There is so much wisdom in this!  Instead of beating myself up for a failure, mistake or habit, I seek the lesson.  I thank the lesson and love the opportunity for growth, and then release it.

Your life will pivot when you manage the smack talk.  This will give you so much compassion for your past self.  I encourage you to spend time thanking her for both the good and bad decisions.  

3. Approval of others

What other people think about you is none of your business.  

What if you could reduce the amount of energy you spent on the approval of others by developing a relationship with your past, present and future self?  My REBOOT & RECLAIM coaching package uses a three step process that allows you to truly love who you are.  You learn that you are worthy and lovable, because you decide to believe it.    

Look, I spent my whole life looking for the approval of others.  Oh the mind games we play!  I was left thinking life was a popularity contest I could never win.  

Even though it has taken me fifty years, I am grateful that I have learned to honor my past decisions, live in the present and create a future.  I love the woman I am becoming.  

Your life will pivot when you believe your best years are ahead and decide the approval of others is unnecessary.  

4. The How

“Logic will get you from A to B.  Imagination will take you everywhere.”  ~Albert Einstein

I know you like to have all your ducks in a row before you pursue your dream.  What if knowing how to get from A to B limits your ability to achieve your dream?

The blessings in life unfold as a mystery when you focus your energy on visualization.  What does the dream look like and how will you feel when you achieve it.  Experts agree that when you add charged emotions to your desires, you open yourself up to uncommon creativity.  The easiest way to create the future you want is to become the kind of person who creates the result.   

Your life will pivot when you focus on who you need to become to create the life you want.  The how takes care of itself and makes you unstoppable.  

Midlife Pivot

Do you have a desire to pivot?  What in your life are you willing to ditch?

As your life coach, I can help you reboot & reclaim your life.  Instead of focusing on things that no longer serve you, you can create the future you’ve always wanted.  If you hang around with me long enough, I will convince you that your best years are ahead.  

If the idea of living in your full potential excites you, join my REBOOT & RECLAIM.

I am offering personalized coaching that will guide you in developing an amazing relationship with your past, present and future self and create the future you’ve always desired.  

Click the link below and choose a date and time that works best for you.  Clicking the link will give you all the details you need!  

Here’s to an epic midlife pivot!

Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Living Vicariously

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping women live vicariously through their future self

By definition, living vicariously is imagining life through other people’s experiences.  You may have lived vicariously through your children, pictures of a friend’s vacation, or someone you admire.  

When I went on picking trips for my antique store I frequently had women tell me they were living vicariously through me.  While I was honored they followed my adventures, I always hoped to inspire them to fly free on their own journeys.  

I recently lived vicariously through my friend Michele, who treated herself to a resort vacation at Miraval Resort in Austin, Texas.  I was envious of the royal treatment she received at this luxuriously tranquil retreat.  Michele cast a dream for me that I didn’t realize my soul was longing for.  

Let me cast a dream for you

What if the next fifty years were totally directed by you?  

Well, it is NOT impossible if you step away from life on autopilot and the expectations of others.  

It starts with a little imagination.  Think of your life as the ultimate Pinterest board.  What interesting things do you want to learn?  Where would you live and travel to?  Who would you surround yourself with?  Who do you want to be? 

Can you picture it yet?

Where focus goes, energy flows.  

Most people focus their energy on the past.  They make decisions and predict their future based on what has happened (or did not happen) in the past.  The energy it takes to rehearse the past is very low and familiar.  

“How much creative energy is tied up in guilt, hatred, resentment, lack or fear?  The truth is that you could be using all that energy to re-create a new destiny,”  Dr. Joe Dispenza.

I teach my clients to process their past, but become future focused.  

Your Future self will be proud

What if you lived vicariously through your future self?  

You don’t have to look enviously to others.  Create a vision for yourself in your imagination.

What will she appreciate that you dreamed up for her?

First create your ultimate Pinterest life, then consider how the experience will feel; empowered, fortunate, free, blissful, authentic, carefree, calm, easy, expansive, mindful… 

The more energy you can attach to your future self, the more intimate you become with your future.  

Is your view of reality limited?

The mind is a powerful thing.

As you fill your mind with thoughts and add energy to the ideas, you actually experience the vision as if it were in real time.  The mind simply doesn’t know the difference between reality and fantasy.   

Have you ever experienced a physical reaction to a thought?  For instance, when I think about meals I had in Italy, my mouth starts watering.

Living Vicariously through your future self.

What happens when you unlock creativity by rehearsing the future you want in your mind?  The skills you need to thrive in the future will become important to develop.  Your future self’s opinion of your current choices suddenly matter.   Unexpected opportunities present themselves in a new awareness.  

Do you need a guide?

Have you caught yourself living vicariously through someone lately?  What is stopping you from living your dream life?  

I work with midlife women who want to believe their best years are ahead.  Learning to live with your future self in mind is a big part of creating that life you’ve always wanted.  

I’d love to help you activate your imagination and manage your mind to direct your next fifty years!  

Still unsure if life coaching is for you?  I offer a FREE mini session to chat about how I specifically can help you.  Click the link below and pick a date and time on my calendar that works for you.  

Here’s to living the best years!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Flip The Script

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping women believe their best years are ahead.  Today she is chatting about Flipping the Script.
Embracing my grey hair! What parts of midlife are you embracing????

Your Script

Do you feel that you were handed a script to live by when you were young, but at midlife feel ready to birth something new? As the master of reinvention, let me offer you ideas to get your creative juices flowing and allow you to flip that script.

Here’s a fun exercise to stir those creative juices.  If your life played out on the big screen, what would the title of your movie be?  

Sex In The City

The Housewife of {your town}

Real Women Have Curves

Last Woman Standing

Unfortunately, the titles I typically hear sound like these instead…

Do I Deserve It?

Why do I Always Attract The Wrong Partner

They Just Don’t Like Me

I’m Too Old For This

All too often, women can not identify what they truly want. Has society conditioned women to assume what they should want?  If you do know what you want, do you tend to believe you don’t deserve it? 

Dear friend, please know you were born worthy.  You deserve the desires of your heart, have purpose and are capable of far more than you can possibly imagine.  

In fact, you are not doing anyone favors by staying stuck.  You just need to flip the script.  

How do you flip the script?

Ditch the old worn out story

The past does not equal your future, unless you live there.  

Look, I am a self professed master of reinvention, with a stack of business cards to prove it.  I could choose the title of failure, allowing the failures to prevent me from pursuing something new, or create a different future.  

I prefer to be future focused. My future self will be so proud of the work I am doing today to flip the script.  

Recognize your story

The daily “trinity thoughts” are useful prompts for journaling.  I learned this exercise from Dr. Northrup’s book Goddesses Never Age.  

“This exercise will help you remember how important it is to enjoy life instead of just getting through your To Do list.”  ~ Dr. Northrup.

1. Something to brag about – wow!  I had a hard time with this one at first.  What are you really proud of?  Can you imagine how good you will feel celebrating daily successes?  

2. Something to appreciate – gratitude is a an attitude everyone could agree on.  Look for something you appreciate about your life, your body and/or your tribe on a daily basis. 

3. Something you desire – OK this is a muscle that needs to be flexed!  I have gotten very clear on what I want in life by answering this daily.  It might be easier to answer what you don’t want, but can you name one thing you desire right now? 

Know the what and why, ditch the how

A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul.  Proverbs 13:19

I long for the day Jeff can retire from his full-time job.  {Some say be careful of what you wish for LOL}  We both want to stay active with outdoors sports and activities.  We will pursue projects that will support our retirement goals.  I desire to spend more time with family and friends who live across the United States.  So, travel is an important component.  Although I am crystal clear on the what and why, I don’t stress over the “HOW”. 

“When you know your WHY, you can endure any HOW.” ~ Viktor Frankl 

A longing fulfilled is sweet for the soul.   

Your heart is engaged by the WHY.  

Dr. Martin Luther King had a “I have a dream” speech, not a “I have a plan” speech.

Tap into your imagination.  Ask yourself, “wouldn’t it be amazing if…”

What comes up for you when you allow your heart to dream?  

Can you get creative with a title for this dream? 

Do you know WHY you chose that title?  

Please, just don’t let the HOW choke out your dream.  

Do you need a guide?

I have come to realize that I no longer fear death.  I fear a life not fully lived, a purpose not fulfilled.  

Do you feel stuck in an old script and fear you may not be fully living?  

I’d love to help you flip the script.  As a certified life coach I am trained in helping you identify the old worn out story that is holding you back.  

Schedule a FREE mini session with someone who truly believes YOUR best years are ahead.  

We can discuss where you are and where you would like to be, and then identify strategies for overcoming the obstacles.  

Click the link below and choose a date on my calendar.  It really is that simple!  

Cheers,  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Take Creative Control Of Your Life!

I am a life coach who works with women who are ready to take creative control of their lives.  

Future Focused

I’d like to share with you a concept that has revolutionized the lens from which women can choose to create their life.  

Have you ever wondered why your life seems to be on repeat?  Why you can’t seem to achieve anything more than what you already have?  I can relate.  

That was my life until I learned about a concept called future focus.  

Think of your life as a horizontal straight line.  At the beginning of the line mark 0 representing the day you were born.  At the end of the line mark 100, the age you hope to live to.  The women I coach are facing the midpoint of 50, or so.  

At 50 you can either see all the life you lived, and make decisions based on past experience.  Or you can look at all the life ahead of you and create from vast possibilities.  

So, are you creating with a future focus or are you repeating the past?  

My A-ha moment

My a-ha moment was when I discovered I was basing my future success on the failures.  I have a box full of business cards from the risks I’ve taken.  Regretfully, my identity became associated with failure.  Now I see that I can’t create a different life with that limiting belief.  I now look at my failures and see all the times I got back up and that failing will not kill me. I am free to create a dream life from future possibilities.  

Are you ready to embrace your future self without the limitations of past proof? Reach out to me if you are ready to take creative control of your life.  

~Tiffany Eckhardt

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!