Four things I ditched for an epic midlife pivot.

Four things I ditched for an epic midlife pivot.  Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Four things I ditched for an epic MIDLIFE PIVOT!

A midlife pivot is another way of expressing a need to reboot & reclaim your life.  Midlife women experience this urge to pivot as they face an empty nest, COVID downsize, a recent divorce or the anticipation of retirement.  Can you relate?

“There is nothing more powerful or radical or stunningly, radiantly beautiful than a woman who chooses to rebuild her life.  Day after day, hour after hour, no matter how many mistakes she must now spin into gold.”  ~ Cara Alwill Leyba

I’m in the throws of a radical reboot, and love sharing my journey in the hopes that it will inspire more midlife women to choose to reboot, reclaim and rebuild.  In this article I will share four things I recently ditched to lighten my load for the long haul.  

1. Fear Porn

A common obstacle for midlife women is fear or worry, even when the scenario rarely turns out as bad as imagined.  Fear is a misuse of our imagination, usually based on past experiences.  

Why would you obsess about potential bad?  Could you be addicted to a state of being that drives worry?  Do you honestly believe the emotion of fear or worry has the power to manipulate outcomes?  

Protect your energy by projecting what you actually want in the future.  When you feel the emotion of fear or worry, declare to yourself, “I now know what I don’t want.  What I want is…”  Your life will pivot when you reframe worry and even eliminate fear.

I made the decision to eliminate fear porn in March as the world shut down for COVID.  I just knew that a constant barrage of news would not support wellness.  I allowed myself to stay informed, but balanced it with equal amounts of information that encouraged my personal growth.  As a result, I believe I made better use of the past six months, stayed in great health and helped my clients in the process.  

2. Smack Talk

Who is your worst enemy?  I hope you answered you.  

The chatter continually “talking smack” about you is inside your head.  Wonder how many of the 60,000 thoughts you think on a daily basis are kind thoughts about yourself?  If 90% of your daily thoughts are the same as the day before, it is safe to say that you beat yourself up worse than your worst enemy.  

I recently came to terms with the smack talk in my head and moved forward with two actions.  

First, I forgave my past self.  I literally journaled an apology to my past self and released her from all guilt and shame concerning parts of my personality I did not appreciate.  

Second, I decided to learn the lesson that was being offered.  A pastor once told me a long that lessons not learned will repeat themselves until they are finally learned.  There is so much wisdom in this!  Instead of beating myself up for a failure, mistake or habit, I seek the lesson.  I thank the lesson and love the opportunity for growth, and then release it.

Your life will pivot when you manage the smack talk.  This will give you so much compassion for your past self.  I encourage you to spend time thanking her for both the good and bad decisions.  

3. Approval of others

What other people think about you is none of your business.  

What if you could reduce the amount of energy you spent on the approval of others by developing a relationship with your past, present and future self?  My REBOOT & RECLAIM coaching package uses a three step process that allows you to truly love who you are.  You learn that you are worthy and lovable, because you decide to believe it.    

Look, I spent my whole life looking for the approval of others.  Oh the mind games we play!  I was left thinking life was a popularity contest I could never win.  

Even though it has taken me fifty years, I am grateful that I have learned to honor my past decisions, live in the present and create a future.  I love the woman I am becoming.  

Your life will pivot when you believe your best years are ahead and decide the approval of others is unnecessary.  

4. The How

“Logic will get you from A to B.  Imagination will take you everywhere.”  ~Albert Einstein

I know you like to have all your ducks in a row before you pursue your dream.  What if knowing how to get from A to B limits your ability to achieve your dream?

The blessings in life unfold as a mystery when you focus your energy on visualization.  What does the dream look like and how will you feel when you achieve it.  Experts agree that when you add charged emotions to your desires, you open yourself up to uncommon creativity.  The easiest way to create the future you want is to become the kind of person who creates the result.   

Your life will pivot when you focus on who you need to become to create the life you want.  The how takes care of itself and makes you unstoppable.  

Midlife Pivot

Do you have a desire to pivot?  What in your life are you willing to ditch?

As your life coach, I can help you reboot & reclaim your life.  Instead of focusing on things that no longer serve you, you can create the future you’ve always wanted.  If you hang around with me long enough, I will convince you that your best years are ahead.  

If the idea of living in your full potential excites you, join my REBOOT & RECLAIM.

I am offering personalized coaching that will guide you in developing an amazing relationship with your past, present and future self and create the future you’ve always desired.  

Click the link below and choose a date and time that works best for you.  Clicking the link will give you all the details you need!  

Here’s to an epic midlife pivot!

Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Living Vicariously

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping women live vicariously through their future self

By definition, living vicariously is imagining life through other people’s experiences.  You may have lived vicariously through your children, pictures of a friend’s vacation, or someone you admire.  

When I went on picking trips for my antique store I frequently had women tell me they were living vicariously through me.  While I was honored they followed my adventures, I always hoped to inspire them to fly free on their own journeys.  

I recently lived vicariously through my friend Michele, who treated herself to a resort vacation at Miraval Resort in Austin, Texas.  I was envious of the royal treatment she received at this luxuriously tranquil retreat.  Michele cast a dream for me that I didn’t realize my soul was longing for.  

Let me cast a dream for you

What if the next fifty years were totally directed by you?  

Well, it is NOT impossible if you step away from life on autopilot and the expectations of others.  

It starts with a little imagination.  Think of your life as the ultimate Pinterest board.  What interesting things do you want to learn?  Where would you live and travel to?  Who would you surround yourself with?  Who do you want to be? 

Can you picture it yet?

Where focus goes, energy flows.  

Most people focus their energy on the past.  They make decisions and predict their future based on what has happened (or did not happen) in the past.  The energy it takes to rehearse the past is very low and familiar.  

“How much creative energy is tied up in guilt, hatred, resentment, lack or fear?  The truth is that you could be using all that energy to re-create a new destiny,”  Dr. Joe Dispenza.

I teach my clients to process their past, but become future focused.  

Your Future self will be proud

What if you lived vicariously through your future self?  

You don’t have to look enviously to others.  Create a vision for yourself in your imagination.

What will she appreciate that you dreamed up for her?

First create your ultimate Pinterest life, then consider how the experience will feel; empowered, fortunate, free, blissful, authentic, carefree, calm, easy, expansive, mindful… 

The more energy you can attach to your future self, the more intimate you become with your future.  

Is your view of reality limited?

The mind is a powerful thing.

As you fill your mind with thoughts and add energy to the ideas, you actually experience the vision as if it were in real time.  The mind simply doesn’t know the difference between reality and fantasy.   

Have you ever experienced a physical reaction to a thought?  For instance, when I think about meals I had in Italy, my mouth starts watering.

Living Vicariously through your future self.

What happens when you unlock creativity by rehearsing the future you want in your mind?  The skills you need to thrive in the future will become important to develop.  Your future self’s opinion of your current choices suddenly matter.   Unexpected opportunities present themselves in a new awareness.  

Do you need a guide?

Have you caught yourself living vicariously through someone lately?  What is stopping you from living your dream life?  

I work with midlife women who want to believe their best years are ahead.  Learning to live with your future self in mind is a big part of creating that life you’ve always wanted.  

I’d love to help you activate your imagination and manage your mind to direct your next fifty years!  

Still unsure if life coaching is for you?  I offer a FREE mini session to chat about how I specifically can help you.  Click the link below and pick a date and time on my calendar that works for you.  

Here’s to living the best years!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Flip The Script

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping women believe their best years are ahead.  Today she is chatting about Flipping the Script.
Embracing my grey hair! What parts of midlife are you embracing????

Your Script

Do you feel that you were handed a script to live by when you were young, but at midlife feel ready to birth something new? As the master of reinvention, let me offer you ideas to get your creative juices flowing and allow you to flip that script.

Here’s a fun exercise to stir those creative juices.  If your life played out on the big screen, what would the title of your movie be?  

Sex In The City

The Housewife of {your town}

Real Women Have Curves

Last Woman Standing

Unfortunately, the titles I typically hear sound like these instead…

Do I Deserve It?

Why do I Always Attract The Wrong Partner

They Just Don’t Like Me

I’m Too Old For This

All too often, women can not identify what they truly want. Has society conditioned women to assume what they should want?  If you do know what you want, do you tend to believe you don’t deserve it? 

Dear friend, please know you were born worthy.  You deserve the desires of your heart, have purpose and are capable of far more than you can possibly imagine.  

In fact, you are not doing anyone favors by staying stuck.  You just need to flip the script.  

How do you flip the script?

Ditch the old worn out story

The past does not equal your future, unless you live there.  

Look, I am a self professed master of reinvention, with a stack of business cards to prove it.  I could choose the title of failure, allowing the failures to prevent me from pursuing something new, or create a different future.  

I prefer to be future focused. My future self will be so proud of the work I am doing today to flip the script.  

Recognize your story

The daily “trinity thoughts” are useful prompts for journaling.  I learned this exercise from Dr. Northrup’s book Goddesses Never Age.  

“This exercise will help you remember how important it is to enjoy life instead of just getting through your To Do list.”  ~ Dr. Northrup.

1. Something to brag about – wow!  I had a hard time with this one at first.  What are you really proud of?  Can you imagine how good you will feel celebrating daily successes?  

2. Something to appreciate – gratitude is a an attitude everyone could agree on.  Look for something you appreciate about your life, your body and/or your tribe on a daily basis. 

3. Something you desire – OK this is a muscle that needs to be flexed!  I have gotten very clear on what I want in life by answering this daily.  It might be easier to answer what you don’t want, but can you name one thing you desire right now? 

Know the what and why, ditch the how

A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul.  Proverbs 13:19

I long for the day Jeff can retire from his full-time job.  {Some say be careful of what you wish for LOL}  We both want to stay active with outdoors sports and activities.  We will pursue projects that will support our retirement goals.  I desire to spend more time with family and friends who live across the United States.  So, travel is an important component.  Although I am crystal clear on the what and why, I don’t stress over the “HOW”. 

“When you know your WHY, you can endure any HOW.” ~ Viktor Frankl 

A longing fulfilled is sweet for the soul.   

Your heart is engaged by the WHY.  

Dr. Martin Luther King had a “I have a dream” speech, not a “I have a plan” speech.

Tap into your imagination.  Ask yourself, “wouldn’t it be amazing if…”

What comes up for you when you allow your heart to dream?  

Can you get creative with a title for this dream? 

Do you know WHY you chose that title?  

Please, just don’t let the HOW choke out your dream.  

Do you need a guide?

I have come to realize that I no longer fear death.  I fear a life not fully lived, a purpose not fulfilled.  

Do you feel stuck in an old script and fear you may not be fully living?  

I’d love to help you flip the script.  As a certified life coach I am trained in helping you identify the old worn out story that is holding you back.  

Schedule a FREE mini session with someone who truly believes YOUR best years are ahead.  

We can discuss where you are and where you would like to be, and then identify strategies for overcoming the obstacles.  

Click the link below and choose a date on my calendar.  It really is that simple!  

Cheers,  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Take Creative Control Of Your Life!

I am a life coach who works with women who are ready to take creative control of their lives.  

Future Focused

I’d like to share with you a concept that has revolutionized the lens from which women can choose to create their life.  

Have you ever wondered why your life seems to be on repeat?  Why you can’t seem to achieve anything more than what you already have?  I can relate.  

That was my life until I learned about a concept called future focus.  

Think of your life as a horizontal straight line.  At the beginning of the line mark 0 representing the day you were born.  At the end of the line mark 100, the age you hope to live to.  The women I coach are facing the midpoint of 50, or so.  

At 50 you can either see all the life you lived, and make decisions based on past experience.  Or you can look at all the life ahead of you and create from vast possibilities.  

So, are you creating with a future focus or are you repeating the past?  

My A-ha moment

My a-ha moment was when I discovered I was basing my future success on the failures.  I have a box full of business cards from the risks I’ve taken.  Regretfully, my identity became associated with failure.  Now I see that I can’t create a different life with that limiting belief.  I now look at my failures and see all the times I got back up and that failing will not kill me. I am free to create a dream life from future possibilities.  

Are you ready to embrace your future self without the limitations of past proof? Reach out to me if you are ready to take creative control of your life.  

~Tiffany Eckhardt

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

A future created from the future

Now is the time to create.  It’s time to decide what you want to believe.  The title of your next chapter is yet to be written.
Definitely not Grandma Maggie’s swing! 😉

Last week in Mid-Life Muse I touched on creating a future.  This week I’d like to chat about creating a future from the future.  

It may appear to be pointing out the obvious, but the future is in the future and not the past.  

Life is just getting started for me.  I’m currently writing the next chapter of my story with a future focus.  

This past weekend my Grandma Maggie would have celebrated her 100th birthday.  She missed the milestone by only 2 years.  I turn 50 years young this March.  By her standard, I have another 50 to live!  

I wonder what occupied her mind when she turned 50 years?  I know she was willing to try new things.    

Grandma Maggie took up golf in her 50s.  She wanted to spend time with my Grandpa, who had just retired.  Eventually her golf game was so good that my Grandpa wouldn’t play with her anymore.  That didn’t stop her from joining several golf clubs and earning numerous awards!  

She was spunky.  No grass grew under her feet.  She worked on her swing into her late 80s. 

Like my Grandma, no grass will grow under my feet.  I am capable of learning new things at any age.  I might just have to pick up golf.  

You are either creating from your past or your future. 

How do you experience your future?  This isn’t a trick question.

Your future is experienced now in your thoughts.  The same is true for experiencing your past. You can believe ANYTHING you want about your future and your past. LET THAT SINK IN!

I am surprised to learn just how many people are viewing their future through past experiences.  Even worse, most are totally unaware of the thoughts influencing your future.

Who are you?  Where do you go to answer that question?  Does past experiences shape your identity?  

The first step is to get curious about your thoughts concerning your life.  Then notice if the thoughts are based on the past or the future.  

Do you notice that you relive past experiences?  Is it possible that you allow those stories to dictate your future? Wether or not you are aware, you mind finds evidence to support what ever you choose to believe about your past and future.  

You have a choice to create a future based on past experiences, or based on a dream you create into existence.  Granted, some past experiences can be built upon.  Just be aware what is serving you. 

A couple things to keep in mind…

First of all, success does not have an expiration date.  Do not use your age as an excuse.

Secondly, your life is not on auto pilot.  You are the author of your story.  

Choose your thoughts… choose your future identity.

  • Were you a horrible student? You can choose to believe you are capable of learning something new.  
  • Have you always been overweight? You can choose to believe it’s possible to loose weight and be healthy.  
  • Have you been irresponsible with money? You can choose to respect money and learn how to budget.  
  • Do you think you are too old to run a marathon? Find examples of people who ran a marathon in their 90s.  

There are plenty of examples of people who overcame similar circumstances and limiting beliefs!

I have a ton of new beliefs about my future self!  In the past I avoided exercise.  Now, I am a girl who loves exercise.  I was a horrible student.  Now, I love learning new skills.  Heck, I figured out how to change my website server last week!!!  I might have to believe I am techy!!!  

Chart new territory

Mid-life is a blank slate to write on! 

Now is the time to create.  It’s time to decide what you want to believe.  The title of your next chapter is yet to be written.  

Start writing on your blank slate as if you were embarking on a new adventure.  You are going to uncharted territory. As the author, you can also be the editor.  Only pack thoughts that are useful for your future.  Delete the thoughts that don’t serve you.  

On your journey you will experience difficulties and unforeseen challenges.  You have lived through enough to know you can handle it.  Believe anything can be figured out.  😉

Test your focus

Here’s a little test.  Keep a log of all your thoughts throughout the day.  What percentage of the thoughts you think are based on the past?  What percentage of the thoughts serve you today? 

Are you feeling hopeful of the future?  If not, what exactly are the thoughts you think about your future?  

The power of our thoughts to create our future is mind-blowing.  It is literally my favorite subject to talk about.  I’d love the opportunity to help you write the next chapter of your story.  

I believe you can create a life on your terms by becoming future focused.

Check out Three Reasons To Hire A Life Coach! Reach out for a FREE consultation.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!