Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead. Learn how to turn an "F' It" moment into a moment of hope!

Are you willing to vulnerably admit that at times of frustration you just want to say “F’ it”? Yes, I admit that I use the F word on occasion.

For instance, I might say it prior to the third glass of wine, or finishing the cake after the kids went to bed. Does this happen to just me?

“She realized that vulnerability was easier to wear than vanity. So she stripped straight down to nothing. And set herself free.” ~ Cara Alwill Leyba

This week I spent time wondering why the “F’ it” moments happen.

My F’ It Moment

Recently, at a point when my dreams seem to be on the horizon but still so far out of reach, I had a major “F ’it” moment.

I had planned my eating protocol for the day. I knew I’d be meeting friends at my favorite winery, so I planned one glass of wine. (famously naive) At the winery, I had my planned glass of wine and then bought a bottle to take home. When I got home my plans got railroaded, as if I can blame it on the circumstances, and proceeded to drink the bottle too. The moment I opened the bottle I recall saying to myself, “Fuck it!” (not abbreviated)

The real reason I had a “F’ it” moment was not my evening circumstances. Frankly, the real reason I felt the need to “F’ it” was my unrealized dreams weighing heavy on my heart ALL DAY.

The next morning I awoke with the guilt of not honoring my planned protocol, and the familiar shame storm.

I wrote in my journal: I can’t seem to catch a mystic break. God, I’m trusting you. Please lead me to the gold-mine within.

Then I came across another poem…

Surrender

I want to breath in passion like air. I want to fill my lungs with the magic and lust and possibility only passion brings. And the feeling that is only available to you when you finally, fully, fiercely surrender. ~ Cara Alwill Leyba

Faith

The absence of evidence is NOT the evidence of its absence. Surrender to the mystery.

Surrendering is actually saying, “F’ it” in a completely different way. It is breathing in passion like air and saying to yourself, “this just might work!” What do you actually have to loose when you choose to believe notwithstanding the absence of evidence?

Faith is a powerful emotion that helps you believe your dreams are worth pursuing.

It just might work!

The first “F’ it” has no upside. It is just a familiar way to approach discouragement that leads to guilt and an inevitable shame storm. Creative solutions are impossible to discover when your energy is consumed by discouragement.

The second “F’ it” has HUGE upsides. The thought “what if it works” produces a feeling of hope and leads to massive action.

Here is what I’ve learned about hope this week:

Hope is not an accident.

You cultivated hope by allowing the mystery.

The mystery is a little voice that whispers maybe, when the whole world is shouting no.

This hope is an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.

Hope is the charged emotion that elevates your dreams.

Not forced, but ready to see crazy things happen!

What if you gave up entertaining the thoughts that cause fear and discouragement, the thoughts that lead to lack?

Have compassion on your discouraging thoughts, noticing them without guilt or shame, and then simply release them.

Surrender to the idea that it just might work, and to the mystery of uncommon creativity.

This is my life’s work.

Believing in possibilities and abundance is my super power. Even when I suffer discouragement, my will to break through will not allow me to wallow in it. I desire to cultivate a mindset that surrenders to fierce hope.

I am happy to share my journey with you in hopes that it inspires your journey. As your life coach I will help you to reclaim your life, full of dreams and visions for your best years ahead.

I’d love to work with you to develop a proper “F’ it” mindset.

If you regret a recent “F’ it” moment that produced a shame storm, I know I can help you flip it to a “it just might work” mindset. I offer a FREE mini session for those of you who are curious about life coaching.

Simply click the link below and choose a date/time that works for you! It just might work!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

This is a common occurrence in the Eckhardt home. Jeff will communicate a thought he thinks will help me. He is dumbfounded when I share the same thought as an epiphany I learned from a podcast or a book. Why did I have to hear it from someone else? He was right the whole time.

Today I had a similar moment with God

Tiffany Eckhardt, owner of Flown The Coop, discovers a paradigm shift reading Atomic Habits, by James Clear

I am a journaler. I write out all my feelings to determine what I think about them. God has been whispering the word “BE” to me for a long time. It didn’t register until today.

Road to an epiphany

I have created a wonderful habit of listening to podcasts as I get ready for the day. If you haven’t already, check out my 5 Podcasts To Finish 2018 Strong article.

My habit has introduced me to wonderful Influencers. I am currently enjoying the #Last90Days challenge with Dave and Rachel Hollis. I tune into their daily FB live for inspiration. Their Five To Thrive has really propelled me into some great foundational habits.

I’m seeing a reoccurring topic arise throughout the podcast world. Everyone seems to be talking about habits.

I am currently listening to The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do on Audible. This is a book Rachel Hollis recommended the first week of the #Last90Days challenge. Wow! The study of habits is fascinating. The same week I started to listen The Power of Habit I heard an interview on Lewis Howes’ podcast with James Clear. James just wrote the book Atomic Habits. Blew. My. Mind. I highly recommend listening to this podcast!

The road to an epiphany led me to a Habits.

I am a reader

My copy of Atomic Habits arrived in the mail yesterday. Ironically, I am creating a new reading habit at night. (I am a reader) I devoured the first three chapters, underlining and wiring comments on several key ideas. Here are a few of my favorites:

A habit is a routine or behavior that is performed regularly – and, in many cases, automatically.
the quality of our lives depend on the quality of our habits
Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement
Success is the product of daily habits – not once-in-a-lifetime transformations
You don’t rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems
an atomic habit refers to a tiny change, a marginal gain, a 1 percent improvement
atomic habits are the building blocks of remarkable results
there is a difference between outcome based habits and identity habits
It’s hard to change your habits if you never change the underlying beliefs that led you to your past behavior
The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity… when your behavior and your identity are fully aligned, you are no longer pursuing a behavior change. You are simply acting like the person you already believe yourself to be.
The focus should always be on becoming that type of person, not getting a particular outcome

Wow! A paradigm shift! I had to let all of these ideas sink in. What stood out to me is that I didn’t truly believe I could be the person who accomplished dreams. I didn’t believe I could BE successful or healthy (skinny). I didn’t even believe I could BE a nice person. UUGH!

He was right the whole time

This morning God whispered to me again, “Be.” Turns out he was right the whole time. God was leading me to focus on who I wanted to BE. He is interested in leading me to my true identity. Why didn’t I hear him from the beginning? I was focused on outcomes. I didn’t have faith in the journey!

Now what?

I will focus on small changes over time. My goal is to become the best version of myself.

The question becomes, “Who do I want to BE?”

I am a christian (true identity). I am loving and loyal to my family and friends.
I am a healthy person who is committed to daily exercise, drinking water, and eating well (I am skinny). 😉
I am a natural networker. I love connecting people and helping them realize their dreams!
I am a leader who uplifts her team to the best version of themselves.
I am a reader… love to learn!
I am patient… becoming the best version of myself takes time. 🙂

This epiphany might only be for my benefit.

He was right the whole time. I don’t think God is upset that I didn’t hear “BE” the first time. I think he knew I needed to take this road to an epiphany. Tiny habits over time compounds into the person I want to become! I am thankful for this lesson.

I am humbly grateful if this resinates with you! Let me encourage you! Decide the person you want to BE and create habits that serve that person.

I’d love to hear from you! Get a copy of the book Atomic Habits. Let’s share what we learn with each other! Let’s believe in who we can BE!