I have learned the secret to failing forward by creating a “YES” mindset.
How do you feel about failure? Is it an event or has it become an identity?
I am very proud of my failures! My combined failures prove that I have followed my passions, thought outside the box, attempted greatness and forged my own path. I decided to make each of my failed attempts mean that I am tenacious, persistent, stout hearted, and most importantly willing to fail.
I have an impressive collection of business cards to prove it. Even though I enthusiastically approached each business attempt with an attitude of, “What the hell, this might work,” the lessons I earned was worth every heart ache when it didn’t work.
Failure is simply of mental constraint
One person’s failure is another person’s success. A student given the grade of C could consider the grade a failure or a complete victory, depending on the student. Yearly earnings of $100,000 is a failure to one small business owner, and a unimaginable success to another small business owner.
Many of my clients have unfortunately allowed well meaning family members or friends to define failure for them, which inevitably robs them of a “YES mentality. I have heard stories of women spending nearly 50 years believing what was said about them in the past. These women are finally liberated when they drop the old story for one they create.
You get to decide what failure means.
A “YES” mindset
“I no longer remember what the question is. I do know the answer is yes.” Seth Godin
If you refuse to accept failure as a part of the journey, you will not likely succeed.
Once you learn to anticipate obstacles, you will face disappointing outcomes prepared and will have the awareness to look for the lessons. You’ll no longer be afraid of failure, but will say, “Bring it on!”
You will have the fortitude to fail forward with a “YES” mindset.
Strategizing
Hire a life coach to help you create a “YES” mindset.
As your life coach, I will help you identify what is hijacking you and create a failure plan that will lead to your inevitable success. We’ll discuss where you are and where you’d like to be, then determine your obstacles.
Schedule a FREE mini session, a chat with someone who truly believes your best years are ahead. Simply click on the link below and pick a date on my calendar. It really is that simple.
~Tiffany
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!
“You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream.” C.S. Lewis
Now that you’ve entered the season labeled midlife, do you fear it’s unrealistic to create something new at your age?
Many clients of mine share a fear that age limits their ability to create something new. I believe the opposite. Your best years are ahead. Finding yourself at the end of one season is an exciting opportunity to make decisions about life in the next season.
Of course you are capable of learning new things and creating your life as you would like it to be.
According to Marie Forleo, “Everything is figure-outable.”
What if being unrealistic IS the answer to creating something new?
What is the first thing your mind offers when you decide to create something new? All the reasons it can’t work, all the reasons it isn’t a good idea and all the reasons it isn’t reasonable. Yep, your mind is very clever in keeping you safe and secure.
When you spend your time considering all that your brain offers, you fail ahead of time. You stop yourself before you even get started.
So, trick you brain. Agree with it. Don’t give it anything to argue with.
Agree with your brain that your new idea might not work, there will be obstacles and it could be completely unrealistic. Decide to appreciate all the lessons and proceed anyways.
Remind your brain the only way to create anything new is through trail and error.
The fail factor
Should we fail on purpose? Of course not!
Brooke Castillo teaches in her eight week Business Course there are two different types of failures, escape failures and worthy failures.
Escape failures
Are you curios about why you don’t keep your word or follow through with your decisions? Escape failures are a form of avoiding what is needed to realize your new creation and choosing to fail ahead of time.
Examples:
Making excuses for not following through with a commitment
Indulging in confusion about the next step
Changing your mind
Not planning ahead of time, protecting your calendar
Any form of perfection is an escape failure
Waiting until your ready or have learned every aspect
Worthy failures
Worthy failures are not caused by inaction, but by taking a step forward.
“We were never taught to fail. We are taught that F’s are bad growing up. This programming has contributed to steering away from starting things and changing,” Brooke Castillo.
For example, this past week I conducted my first FREE workshop on Self Appreciation. I spent hours deciding what to teach, gathering information, putting it into an understandable form, etc. I enthusiastically marketed the workshop, but only had a couple people show up to the live event. Was that a failure? NO! No, it was not a failure. I learned better ways to approach the next workshop and will continue to market the replay, which will reach untold amount of women.
There will never be an age limit to creating something meaningful, but take time to get crystal clear about what you wish to create.
Define: What does it feel like once you create it? Who will benefit from your creation?
Objections: What makes it unrealistic? Go ahead and let your mind offer you the objections.
Solutions: Then answer the objections with, “That objection is true, but…” What skills will you need to create it?
Basically, allow your mind to define what you want to create, the obstacles in your way, and strategies to solve them ahead of time.
BE unrealistic, a challenge
Let’s be honest, being a little unrealistic sounds like a fun challenge.
I’d like to challenge you to a worthy fail. Well, not just one. I’d like to challenge you to write out 25 worthy failures you are willing to take action on. First brainstorm all the ways you could take action that will likely fail. From the brainstorm, pick 25 that you will commit to and then put the 25 worthy fails on your calendar.
Taking this challenge will inspire you to take the first step. By simply taking action, you will learn everything is figure-outable!
Let me help you!
I love working with midlife women who are ready to believe their best years are ahead. It is not a time to avoid the hard things, it is a time to embrace them with the self confidence earned at this age.
This past week I had the privilege to coach a beautiful spunky woman in her sixties who was was considering a new idea. We worked through her thoughts, feelings and actions around the idea. Afterwards I asked her what she thought she would be creating as a result. She lit up and said, “a new career!”
Sometimes you just need to be able to work through all the thoughts, feelings and obstacles to believe in the possibility.
If you are ready to break some of your own limitations, let me help you! Schedule a FREE mini session. It’s a 45 minute chat with someone who truly believes in your possibilities. It is also a great way to see if life coaching is for you.
Simply click the link below and choose a date on my calendar. It really is that simple!
~Tiffany
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!
You may be good at beating yourself up for eating the third piece of pizza or forgetting an important zoom call, but hardly ever give yourself credit for the twenty years you spent raising competent children who are now making their way in the world. So, learning to possess swagger will take some practice.
Fail Friday
I brought up bragging during my Fail Friday on May 7th. I shared a three-step daily practice that includes bragging, gratitude and desire. Focusing on the “trinity” thoughts daily will drastically improve your midlife wellness awakening.
First of all, I believe failure has an important place in your growth. My weekly Facebook Live called Fail Friday is designed to highlight failure and give examples of people who use their failure as stepping stones to success.
Sara Blakely is a great example of the importance of acknowledging failure. Her Dad set her up to embrace failure by insisting on a nightly tradition of sharing failures at the dinner table.
When it comes to failure, I definitely have swagger. Unfortunately, it is rare that I’ll boast about a success. Why is that?
Focus
What ever your mind focuses on you will attract in your life. It is easier to focus on problems to be solved than to celebrate a success. So how do we switch our focus to swagger?
To redirect focus, stop yourself with the statement, “NOW I know what I don’t want.” Then ask yourself, “What do I REALLY want?”
For example, you notice that you really don’t like feeling out of control when you’ve had the third glass of wine. The next morning you get up not feeling yourself and start beating yourself up for that third glass. Stop beating yourself up and proclaim, “NOW I know what I don’t want.” Then ask yourself, “What do I REALLY want?”
The Swagger Practice
You may have more of what you don’t want stored in your subconscious. You simply need to deposit more swagger into the story you rehearse in your mind.
Dr. Northrup shares in her book Goddesses Never Age a daily practice of bragging, gratitude and desire “I think it is fantastic for bringing perspective to your daily experiences and remembering how challenges set you up to more deeply appreciate blessings. Doing this exercise will help you remember how important it is to enjoy life instead of getting through a To Do list.’
So SWAGGER!
Think of something to brag about. It doesn’t have to be earth shattering, just a thought you can be proud of. You don’t have to share it publicly, but definitely record it in a journal to look back on.
Identify something you can be grateful for. This is different from a brag. What blessing in your life fills your heart with joy?
What do you desire? This should be out of reach. If money or time were not an object, what would you want?
I LOVE the idea off doing this daily activity with your wingwomen. It will uplift your tribe and encourage swagger.
Swagger takes practice
You can attain a life your proud of and enjoy getting out of bed for. If the idea of creating daily swagger is resonating with you, I’d love to help. I can help you sort through the thoughts that are keeping you stuck.
I help midlife women figure out where they are and where they want to be.
I am offering a FREE mini session for you to test drive a coaching session. It’s a pain free way to see if coaching is for you!
Click the link below and choose a date on the calendar! It is that easy.
~Tiffany
And the bird fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.
Failure is not taught in school. Yet, all the successful people I’ve studied this year have harnessed the power of failing forward.
Recognize YOUR script on failure.
Can YOU agree?
Life is 50/50 good & bad.
Nothing worth having in life is handed to you.
There is a lot you can learn from failure if you are curious.
Failure can be good or bad. You decide.
2. What is failure?
Failure is simply YOUR unmet expectations. No one can define failure for you.
2. How do you view failure?
Do you view it as something that happens to you from outside sources?
Do you view yourself as the failure, somehow broken and not capable?
Either approach to failure will not serve you! YOUR approach to failure becomes a familiar story in your mind that will block any attempt to pursue greatness. You are the captain of your own destiny.
For my recent Fail Friday Facebook Live, I shared Pema Chödrön’s book Fail. Fail Again. Fail Better. Her wisdom can help flip the script on the olé familiar story.
View failures as portals of discovery, a chance to get creative and to learn something new.
Be willing to feel a wide range of feelings when things don’t go the way you want them to. {Rage, upset, sadness, loneliness}.
Notice what you do in this space. Do you blame others? Do you call yourself a failure?
Get curious about your failure thoughts
Don’t believe all the stories that play on repeat in your mind, simply get curious about them. Take time to ask yourself questions.
What is your inner dialog saying?
How does the story impact your feelings?
What actions do you take when you feel that way?
What results are you getting from that space? How is that working for you?
OK… enough talk about failure. Let’s Kick 2020 into gear by celebrating the 2019 successes.
Success is defined as something that works out the way you expected it to. Focus on your 2019 successes and toot your own horn!
Your homework, take a hot second to think good thoughts about yourself. Trust me it is fun!
1. Make a list of ten successes you are proud of from 2019.
Did you loose weight?
Did you read the books you wanted to read?
Did you travel?
Did you buy that thing you’ve always wanted?
Did you learn a language?
Did you repair a relationship?
Did you start a business?
Did you reach a financial goal?
Did you get that raise?
Did you learn a new craft?
Only YOU can determine what can be on that list.
I firmly believe in the power of creating the life you want.
What ever is on your list add the sentence “I created this.” Friend, I promise you did something out of the ordinary to achieve that result.
I lost twenty pounds and can wear that dress. I created this.”
2. Now imagine what you want to report on December 31, 2020.
Take time to imagine yourself on December 31,2020. Can you imagine how you will feel when you make your list of 2020 accomplishments at the end of next year? On the last day of 2020 what do you feel most proud of? What actions did you take? What results are you celebrating?
From this space, make your future list NOW. Blow YOUR own mind in 2020! Become the person of your dreams!
I am a product of the product.
I spent nearly 50 years believing I was a failure, like there was something fundamentally wrong with me. I finally took hold of my thought life and am curious about my beliefs. I am proud of the person I am becoming.
I did the homework, and was blown away by my list of accomplishments in 2019. Yes, I had unmet expectations. I am not a failure. Failure doesn’t happen to me. I decide what it means in my life. I am free to recognize my own script and flip it!
Creating my 2019 list inspired me to create a list for 2020. I’m excited to create the 2020 Tiff! This is going to be the best decade of my life!
Let me help you create the life you want in 2020! I will help you identify exactly where you are, where you want to go and the obstacles that will be in the way. We’ll make a plan to hurdle any failure and celebrate all successes!
I am offering coaching packages for 2020. Purchase a three month package before January 1, 2020 to receive a free copy of Pema Chödrön’s book Fail. Fail Again. Fail Better.
Happy New Year!
~Tiffany
And the birds fluttered around her writing YES in the sky!
