Question: Has beating yourself up ever motivated you to change?

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of Reinvention and certified life coach helping midlife women to believe their best years are ahead.
Pretty scary… LOL!

I wonder if beating yourself up ever motivated you to change. Let me explain…

As I headed to my morning Restorative Yoga class last week, I began beating myself up for ditching my fitness and eating protocol.  GEESH, why did I ditched my routine back August, 2020???  I could blame it on the emotional roller coaster of current events, or on family vacation, or on the holidays, but I knew deep down that I couldn’t blame my lack of fitness on any circumstance.  

As I drove myself to yoga the mental beat down continued.  Why had I let myself go?  I had lost interest and the energy to be dedicated to a work out routine. I was aware that beating myself up was not an effective way to get back on track, but couldn’t get a grip on the condemning thoughts that had taken up residency in my mind.  

Restorative yoga was the perfect place for me to take refuge.  I was forced to quiet my mind and enjoy taking care of my body.  As I nestled into the practice a paradigm shift happened.  I thought to myself why not try loving yourself into shape?  

Wait what?  Love myself into shape?  YES, of course.  The reason I want to be in the best shape of my life is so that I can enjoy longevity and an active life.  I reminded myself to take a deep breath.  It is possible to get back into shape.  You aren’t a lost cause.  In fact, last year you whipped your body into shape and enjoyed the process!  

My mantra came to mind:  I love choosing her 2021!  I’ll choose the woman that is both compassionate and completely capable of getting in shape. 

So, where did I begin loving myself into shape?

Create tiny habits

In the book Tiny Habits The Small Changes That Change Everything,  BJ Fogg explains a concept that has revolutionized my approach to creating feel good habits.  He suggests that our bad habits are not character flaws, but behavior designs that can be addressed in tiny steps.  In other words, we are not the problem our approach to change is.

Oh good, you can finally stop beating yourself up!

In his research, Fogg discovered three things that will create lasting change; epiphany, change environment, and change habits in tiny ways.   He goes on to explain tiny is fast, can start now, is safe, can grow big, and most importantly does not rely on motivation or will power.  

I created a tiny habit that is getting me back into planking form.  I make coffee using the pour over method.  It creates a great cup of java, but takes a little bit of time with each cup.  I’m usually barely functional when I make my first cup of coffee, but have a pep in my step by the second cup.  So, while I wait for my second pour over to brew, I set the microwave alarm for one minute and plank in my kitchen.   I then pat myself on the back and think, just a little habit that I can build upon.  Yep, it definitely feels like loving myself back into shape.  

Identify obstacle thoughts in advance

It is human nature to sabotage your best made plans.  We know what we “should” do.  But friends, please don’t “SHOULD” yourself.  Simply identify how you will likely sabotage yourself in advance.

You know yourself better than anyone else.  If you are honest there are times when you don’t feel like doing the thing that gets you closer to your goal.  You can use the Tiny Habit method to create habits, but there will be times when your mind will get highjacked.  

Identifying obstacle thoughts gives you an opportunity to create a strategy.  

For example:  At the get go, I am always enthusiastic about an exercise plan.  However, there are mornings that I would rather avoid the discomfort of working out.  My tendency is to think of a million other things that need to be done and skip the workout.  I KNOW these thoughts do not produce the result I am hoping for.  

To combat the obstacle thoughts, I have chosen two replacement thoughts:  

  1. I don’t negotiate with myself.  
  2. I love to choose her.  

Bonus thought:  I am a girl who loves exercise.  I truly believed this thought prior to August 2020.  I know I can work towards this thought again, because I love the girl who loves exercise. 🧘🏼‍♀️🚴‍♂️🚣‍♀️ 

The struggle is real

No need to beat yourself up.  You are not alone in resistance to change.  The struggle is real for everyone with a desire to create something new.  

Seriously, as I just passed the mirror I was tempted to make a mental note on how my sweater made me look huge.  Luckily, I stopped in mid sentence to think instead Tiff you are working on it.  It won’t take long before your in bathing suit condition!  

There are definitely steps you can take.  Tiny habits and identifying obstacle thoughts in advance are great places to start.  Hiring a life coach will also help you rise above your BS to create change in your life.   

If this is resonating with you, schedule a FREE session.  This is a risk free opportunity to answer your questions about life coaching.

Simply click the calendar link below and pick a date/time that works for you.  

If I leave you with anything, I hope you will stop beating yourself up!  You have the power to create your life and are absolutely capable of change, but do it from a place of genuine love.  

So, here’s to loving ourselves into shape!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Finally, ditch the audition of other people’s opinion

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of midlife reinvention and certified life coach, encouraging YOU to ditch the audition and define the role YOU want to play in the universal story.

Have you spent your whole life trying to measure up?  Finally, midlife is the perfect time to ditch the audition of other people’s opinion and decide YOUR role in the universal story. 

Far too many midlife women I speak to are stuck thinking do I belong or struggling with the idea that they are either not enough or too much.  These fears keep you on the sideline of life, or worse allow others to define your life.  

“If your aim is to prove I am ‘enough,’ the project goes on to infinity because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable.”  ~ Nathaniel Brandon 

Decide you are in, and definitely not put yourself out!

The audition

According to Victoria Castle in her book The Trance of Scarcity,

“The trouble is, most of us are convinced that we didn’t make the cut, that we don’t belong, so we spend all our time either auditioning for other’s approval, hoping we’ll be included, or pretending not to care wether we’re in or out.

I spent my whole life auditioning for the parts that I felt would make me feel significant.  The audition has shown up in my life in a variety of ways.  Maybe you can relate.  

In high school I was friends with everyone, but never really fit in a specific group.  I was in the background feeling that I didn’t quite belong.  After high school I decided that I could start over as a confident outgoing person.  

Funny story, while in technical school for the Air Force, I showed up to a community room and boldly announced that I was going to the movies, inviting all who wanted to join me.  Jeff took me up on the offer and we’ve been together ever since.  

Over time, I allowed the feeling of not belonging to sneak back into my social life.  It took me nearly fifty years to ditch the audition of other people’s opinions and define the role I wanted to play in the universal story.  

Popularity Contest   

Social media artificially creates roles for us to audition.  Not many people display their crazy on their social media platforms, but curate their life as to win a popularity contest.  If you are not careful, you’ll measure your worth in followers, friends, likes, emojis, etc.

The popularity contest showed up in nearly every business I attempted.   Believing business is some kind of popularity contest that I had no chance winning, I took myself out of the game on numerous occasions.  I now appreciate the valuable contribution I have to offer and see how I can serve others instead of win their approval.  

You may not be business minded, but I bet you can think of ways this sneaky contest shows up in midlife if you let it. 

Other People’s Opinions

As I explained in my blog article: The Gift That Keeps On Giving, midlife is a gift.  Not only is it be a season of financial, time and failure freedom; it could be the season you start living for your own opinion. 

If you are living in fear of other people’s opinion, you are assuming to know what they think. 

First of all honey, they aren’t thinking of you.  Studies have shown that most people are really only thinking of their own life.  They are spending more time judging themselves than they judge you.

When you are worried what other people think, it is because you assume and fear the opinion they are thinking is true. 

Society expectations

I am dedicated to those who can’t be caged, living a life of a Gen.U.Ine Free Spirit.  

I’ve never fit in a box.  It used to bother me, but now I embrace it.  

There are numerous was society might have boxed you in.  Pressures to get married, not to get married; have kids, not to have kids; homeschool versus public education; go to college or the school of hard knocks; retire or stay in a soul sucking job….  Get the picture?  

Midlife is the season you can finally defy the cage and define who you want to be.    

End the audition in three steps

1.  Life is not a popularity contest when you genuinely love who you are.  I am proof that when you show up as your true self, you attract the people who are meant to be in your life.  Ask Jeff.

2. Create, and recreate, the role you want to play in the universal story.  There are no society rules or opinions that matter, but your own.  Define your life from within.

3.  Simply get past your own bullshit story by listening to the stirring of your soul. 

Will you accept YOUR part?

If your soul is stirring, I want to encourage you to end the audition! 

So many women I work with are at the precipice of change and need to pivot, but worry about what other people think of them or fear they won’t belong.  I can help!  

Schedule a FREE session to chat with me about rising above your midlife bullshit, including the opinion of others.  I can help you identify where you are, the lies you are believing and how to navigate forward.  

It is time you defined midlife and the role you play in the universal story.  If you hang with me long enough I will convince you that your best days are ahead.  

Here’s to a life defined within!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women get past their midlife BS to create an amazing 2nd half.
CIRCA 2008 – biker babe season

The gift that keeps on giving.  No, I’m not talking about a STD, but a life season that first appears as a quandary, but is actually a gift.

Let me explain…

When you think of midlife do you first think of crisis?  These days a midlife crisis is not reserved for men in their 40’s and 50’s, but women are also throwing all caution to the wind for what makes them feel young and carefree.  Not to be outdone, the millennials are now claiming a quarter life crisis for different reasons.  GEESH.  

So, what is this really all about?  According to John Mayer, it might just be a stirring of the soul.    The quandary seems to be, am I living it right?

Ditching responsibility for fun seems to be the answer to the stirring of the soul at midlife, at least for those souls who misunderstand the gift.   

Biker Babe

Ditching responsibility certainly felt right while on the back of Jeff’s Harley Davidson riding through the Blue Ridge Mountains with the wind blowing through my hair.  

Ok I’ll admit, I had my own melt down in my early 40’s.  Jeff and I were dealing with the housing crash of 2008.  Real estate investing was yet another business I tried and failed at.  It was a very stressful time for both of us.

Thankfully, we were able to ride out the stress together, on the back of Jeff’s Harley.  I loved escaping life on his Harley!  I felt like a badass biker babe in all my leather gear.  

Harley Davidson has some of the best commercials.  And just like this commercial, Jeff and I were going where the wind took us, believing in going our own way.  It was a time to buck the system that was built to smash individuals like bugs on a windshield.  And God knows I wanted to stick it to the MAN!  OH, FREEDOM!  {Jeff might come home to a new Harley… forgot how much I loved it}

The problem was that when we returned home from trips to the Blue Ridge Mountains, we still had major problems to solve.  

The Gift

This biker babe believes that midlife is what you make it, and it can be one hell of a ride!  It is THE gift that keeps on giving if you choose to believe your best years are ahead.  

If life expectancy is around 100, you may have approximately 50 years of life ahead, with the invaluable advantage of life experience behind you.  Think about it.   

What are the gifts of midlife?

1. Financial Freedom

Generally speaking, midlife is a season with more disposable income than ever before.  

I can remember balancing the checkbook after Jeff got paid as a young airmen in the Air Force.  We often had $15 to our name for the next two weeks, of which we’d go get pizza.  Thank God, thirty years later we don’t have the pressure of lack.  Jeff and I make more money than we could have imagined in our twenties.  

On top of earning more than we once thought was possible; Jeff and I have learned from our epic financial failures.  Don’t get me wrong, I am still uncovering faulty money beliefs, but I have the time and resources to work through them!

The gift of midlife is that you can afford to relax the fear of lack, using your well earned financial maturity to fully live.  So, there is money to travel or invest in hobbies, or take off on a Harley!

2. Time Freedom

Even though the house is eerily quiet, you’ll notice this season offers autonomy. 

The kids have flown the coop {or you did – see my story}.  You are retired, or close to it. Although, I found that I am getting up earlier than I did when I was forced to follow a schedule, there really is no need for an alarm clock.  

Once you get past the shock of an empty nest, you start to fill your time with things you’ve always wanted to do.  There is now freedom to develop your own circadian rhythm and to explore what sets your heart free.  

God forbid the kiddos move back home, then move out, then move back home, and finally move out again.  You LOVE them, but you start to thoroughly enjoy freedom of time!

3. Failure Freedom {aka wisdom}

We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us. ~Marcel Proust

Hopefully, you have figured out by midlife that a failure is just a stepping stone, a lesson learned.  You aren’t a failure because you have a set back.  It is an event.  

Ok, I know you don’t get a mystic pass from failures at midlife.  It is naive to think you can avoid them, but failure do not paralyze you any longer. 

In addition to midlife wisdom, the opinions of others simply don’t factor into our choices as much as they once did.  What other people think of your decisions is none of your business.  In fact, some of us badass midlife women relish in giving “them” something to talk about!  {ok… maybe that’s just me}

You get it, but can’t quite embrace it    

You may want an interesting life, just without the midlife crisis.  Me too!  Although, I am scheming ways to get Jeff a new Harley, so we can escape into the sunset.  🤔

Viewing midlife as a gift might make sense, but are you still unsure that you can embrace it?  Is there still a sneaky feeling that you missed the window of opportunity, as if dreams are reserved for the youth? 

This is where I can help!  As a master of reinvention, I can help you get past your own bullshit to believe it is possible to create your life.  If you hang out with me long enough, I will convince you that your best years are ahead!  

I offer a FREE session to those of you who have a stirring in your soul.  I’d love to chat with you about where you are currently and where you’d like your life to be.  I can help you rise about your own BS to start creating!

As always, I am dedicated to those who can’t be caged.  Here’s to midlife freedom, the gift that keeps on giving!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Can you teach an old dog new tricks?

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.  Her husband Jeff, teaching an old dog new tricks.

Can you teach an old dog new tricks? In fact, the inter-webs says yes…. “adult dogs are often easier to train than their younger canine friends specifically because they aren’t as active… ability to concentrate helps them learn new routines more easily.”

Granted, I know your life can’t be compared to a canine’s. 

Can’t teach an old dog new tricks is a saying applied to a person who is unwilling to learn something new.  They might be stuck in their ways, or overwhelmed by change.  

The person this applies to is doggedly determined in their inability…. But that’s not you.  Right?

Learning the Cello at 50

I asked Mr. Flown The Coop if he thought you could teach an old dog new tricks?  Y’all, Jeff just bought himself a cello to learn at 50 years young.  He quickly replied, “Well, it depends on how much effort you are willing to put into it.”  I hope he continues to put effort in learning the cello, cuz that trick is so HOT!  

Can you remember when you learned to walk?  Yeah, me neither.  It is incredible what we are able to learn in a lifetime, most of which is likely now taken for granted.  

When you say you are too old for something new, are you actually thinking, I missed my window of opportunity? Are dreams and new tricks only for the youth?

No time like the present

I’m just full of cliches this week!  What would you start today if you didn’t allow age to hold you back? 

In the bestseller The Last Lecture, Randy Pausch shares his childhood dreams that he was able to realize later in life.  His innate curiosity and determination allowed to him to experience zero gravity in Nasa’s Weightless Wonder, meet Captain Kirk and spend a sabbatical as a Disney Imagineer… just to name a few. 

I thought to myself after reading Randy’s stories from a life cut short, “I don’t want to waist time.” There’s no time like the present to live an interesting life… age really has nothing to do with it.  

Would you like to make new friends, there’s no time like the present.

Want to reach your ideal weight, there’s no time like the present.  

Thinking about a new career or business, there’s no time like the present.

Dreaming about a destination, book the flight!

Get past your BS

“I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting sick of their own bullshit.”  Elizabeth Gilbert.

You might be thinking, Tiff you don’t understand, I am too old to learn {fill in the blank}.  By the way, age is one of a million possible bullshit excuses that can prevent you from trying.

I’ve been in your shoes, but have pivoted. I am learning that creating something new in life is possible when you learn to think new thoughts.  

The tricks

Are you feeling convicted?  It isn’t my plan to make you feel lousy, but to push you to think.  

Is it unrealistic to learn new skills, create new habits or try something new in midlife?  

What would you attempt today if you believed you were not too old?

Is crappy thinking in your way?

These are areas that I can help you with.  I know what it is like to admit a limitation and to be overwhelmed by the prospect of learning a new skill, but also have felt the yearning to explore possibilities. I choose to explore!

Midlife is a gift.  There is so much freedom (financial, time, patience, wisdom, etc) in this season of our life.

Even though I am no spring chicken {couldn’t resist another cliche},  I’m here to tell you anything is possible!  Let’s chat about YOUR possibilities!  I offer a FREE mini session for midlife women who want to believe their best years are ahead.  

Simply click the link below and choose a date and time on my calendar that works for you.  It really is that simple.

Here’s to new tricks!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky! 

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

I can’t wait to meet ya!

Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.  In this blog she discusses being future focused. Ever wonder about her, Can't wait to meet ya!

Dear Tiff (because that is what I call myself), I can’t wait to meet ya!  

Can you remember what was important to you last year?  Are you a little unsure of what you want to create for your life in 2021? Let me share with you a future focused practice that will help you stay in touch with where you’ve been and who you want to become.

In 2019, at a Tony Robbins event, I wrote a letter to myself at the end of a few intense days.  I was full of powerful optimism.  It felt great!  

When I wrote the letter, I sealed it up and handed it to a staff member at the event, who promised to send the letter to me at a random date.  I can’t tell you how fun it was to open the letter from myself.

In that letter I promised myself a few things.  I’m proud to say that I actually followed through with becoming a certified life coach with The Life Coach School.  I pressed the “enroll” button on their website while sitting in my hotel room late at night after committing to my future during the event.  The final line of that letter was, “Above all – keep fucking going.”  And I did.  

A tradition is born…. can’t wait to meet ya!

On January 15, 2020 I decided to write another letter to my future self.  Again, I was full of optimism with big dreams.  That’s the way I like it!  

I give myself a HUGE pass for 2020.  There was no way to predict how our world would implode.    One of my favorite lines of the 2020 letter is, “No more leading a life of quiet desperation.  You are a solution seeker.”  And I was.  

This year I wrote another letter with the thought, can’t wait to meet ya!

Building a relationship with yourself

Do you have a relationship with your past, present and future self?  Building this relationship is a wonderful way to create the life you’ve always wanted.  

I am extremely compassionate with who I was January 15, 2020.  Poor girl had no idea what fresh hell she would have to endure on a daily basis.  One thing I can say about her is that she plugged into growth and embraced the journey.  What can you say about your January 2020 self?  Be kind to your past self.  Despite all the failures, I bet you learned valuable lessons along the way.  

Living in the now is an extremely helpful skill to learn.  The Bible says to not worry about tomorrow, it will take care of itself.  Your future self is encouraging you to build the skills today that she will need in the future. So, get busy creating!

What will your future self think about you a year from now?  Will she be proud of what you attempted or how you grew?  I guarantee if you start thinking about her, you will show up differently today.  What is important to her?  What do you need to learn today to set her up for success?  

Write the letter

Writing a letter to your future self each January is a pivotal way to learn about yourself from year to year.  

I had forgotten what was important to me in 2019 and then at the beginning of 2020.  I realigned with some of my past ambitions and pivoted from some that no longer serve me. 

Writing a letter to your future self is a valuable tradition.  It’s a chance to write from the heart to the person you know yourself to BE.  Here are a few ideas to get you started:

Offer compassion to your past self

High five your accomplishments

Explain what is important to you today (in the now).

Share your goals with her

Tell her how you will work on for her behalf

What do you enjoy and hope to add to your life during the year?  Any adventures you hope to take her on?  

What relationships will you foster?

Your future self will thank you!

I can speak from the receiving side of a letter, and am grateful to my past self for caring about me.  

I hope my letter tradition will inspire you to write your own letters to the woman you will be in January 2022.  This practice can inspire you to act on her behalf today.  It can become a tradition you look forward to each year as a marker of your personal evolution.  

Becoming future minded allows you to aim for possibilities.  Your future self will thank you!  

I concluded my January 2022 letter with, “I hope you will be proud of me. Can’t wait to meet ya.” XOXO Tiff

On a side note:  It was magical when I received a letter from myself after the Tony Robbins event in 2019.  I am offering to hold your letters until the end of December 2021.  If you send me your letter sealed in a self addressed stamped envelope, I will drop it in the mail in late December.  

Send to:  Tiffany Eckhardt, P.O. Box 174, Burton, Texas 77835

I can help

It is my goal to help midlife women believe their best years are ahead.  Writing a letter to your future self is just one of the tools I use to help women get in touch with who they are and how they want to show up in the world.  

Are you a little unsure of what you want to create in your life?  

I’d love to chat with you about creating a future from the future with exciting growth.  

I offer a FREE mini session for those of you who are curious how a life coach can help build a bridge to the life you want.  Click on the link below to view my calendar, then click a date and time that works for you.  It really is as simple as that!  

Here’s to a year of working towards who we know we can be!  I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to meet her!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Discarded Places

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life coach and master of reinvention helps midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Discarded places

I have an affinity for discarded places.  Abandoned homes offer scope for the imagination.  I often wonder what story they could tell?  

Jeff and I have restored numerous homes in the past thirty years.  My favorite two homes started out as irredeemable projects.  The first house sheltered numerous dogs no one knew existed until the family moved out.  The second house we affectionally named the cat house.  The former owner was a recluse who let cats overrun the home.  Imagine how these two houses smelled when we purchased them.  Our friends and family thought we had lost our minds, believing the homes were tearer downers instead of a fixer uppers.  

Restoring homes often cost more and took more time than expected.  We never worked from a plan, the creative process kept us going.  

In hindsight, would we have took on these discarded places?  Yes.  The hard work and the cost was always worth it.  Our first home won an award for the most improved property in 1998.  The second home I mentioned was on the Champaign County Preservation Alliance 2007 Home & Garden Tour. 

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life coach and master of reinvention helps midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Discarded dreams

Discarded homes reminds me of abandoned dreams.  

Do suffer grief from ignoring dreams that once whispered to your heart?  What stories do your discarded dreams tell?  

Are you ready to tell a different story?  As Dr. Christiane Northrup explains in her book Goddesses Never Age, midlife women begin to “realize they’re no longer willing to put their dreams on hold and live according to what everyone around them wants.”  

Restoration

I learned restoration is always possible with our irredeemable projects.  

Trust your intuition.  Your dream won’t scream for attention.  It is often a knowing, a yearning.  Pay attention to the yearnings and allow your creative juices to flow.   

Can you allow your imagination to explore the possibilities?  I recommend giving your dreams a voice by journaling them.

Don’t dwell

Jeff and I never dwell on the what ifs or the hows.  Oh, the stories I could tell!  Throwing caution to the wind has created a few doozy mistakes, but also allowed us to experience a few fairy book stories like how we landed in Burton, Texas in 2014.

Worry is a misuse of the imagination and kills dreams.  If you find yourself dwelling on a dream instead of pursuing it, get curious.  Could you be indulging in worry?  Mathew 6:27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Hope brings restoration.  If it is on your heart, move toward the dream.  Don’t worry about the “how”.  As Marie Forleo famously says, “Everything is figure-outable.”  

Master of reinvention

My life is built on renovated places.  I am the master of reinvention.  I’ve had the heart ache of walking away from a dream when it came to it’s natural end, but rarely a heart ache from a dream not pursued. 

It is my goal to help midlife women believe their best years are ahead.  

If you have a whisper tugging at your heart, I can help!

Does your life resemble the abandoned home with scope for the imagination? Let’s restore your discarded dreams or create new ones. I offer a FREE mini session for those of you who are curious how I can help. Check out my calendar link below to pick a date and time that works for you!

Here’s to renovating those discarded places! Let’s find out what is possible.

~Tiffany Eckhardt

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

How do you flush a shitty year with a broken crapper?

How do you flush a shitty year with a. broken crapper?  Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach teaches how...

It’s hard to flush a shitty year with a broken crapper.  True story!  The year 2020 was not easy for the easily offended and neither is my first blog article of 2021.  

This is probably TMI, but my New Years Eve ordeal is too ironic and funny not to share.  As a result of Jeff and I switching to a primarily plant based diet, I broke the toilet on New Years Eve.  It wouldn’t flush.    

Bless my heart, I tried to fix the crapper before Jeff got home from work, but it was not budging.  Just so you know, dish soap and baking soda only creates a sudsy mess.

So, before we could go to dinner at the fancy restaurant we had a reservation, Jeff had to to put on rubber gloves and fix the toilet.  

How could we start the year hoarding toilet paper and end it with a broken crapper?  I actually saw the humor in it.  You just can’t make this shit up.  

How do you flush a shitty year?

Make a list of highlights.  

First of all, I don’t think the year 2020 was completely awful.  I am willing to bet you can remember a few highlights.  I journaled a few of mine and was pleasantly surprised to have quite a list.  

Write a letter to your past self.  

One thing I learned in 2020 was to have compassion for myself when I was in despair or lonely.  I have learned to forgive myself when I know I messed up.  On the flip side I am truly grateful to my past self for showing up for growth.  I am proud of how I learned to manage my mind during the ups and downs.  

Make a list of lessons you learned.  

Tony Robbins often says life isn’t happening to you, but for you.  You never really fail when you learn in the process.  So, what did you learn in 2020? 

What if your best years are ahead?

It is my mission to help more women, especially midlife women, believe their best years are ahead.  One of my 2021 goals is to help 21 women a month create their best lives.  

Now that 2020 is officially down the drain, put the past in perspective.  Once you are able to reframe your past, you are able to create from the future.

It is so important to learn to live in the now and honor your future self.  What can you do today that your future self will be proud of? 

Will she quit or self sabotage?  

Can you chose HER, the woman you know yourself to BE?  

Deadline is January 5th to join Choose Her Community Goal Challenge

There is still time to join my community goal challenge for 2021.  This is an 6 weeks online program that will set you up for a winning 2021 with exciting clear goals, new friends to keep you on track, an understanding what success means to you and who you have to become to achieve the possibilities.  

Don’t ignore your potential.  Invest in HER, the woman you know yourself to BE!  

Follow the link below to get ALL the details.  

Happy New Year Ageless Goddess! 

Here’s to you, the kindred spirit who believe in big dreams, an unstoppable creative and lover of life, giver of hope.  Let’s spend 2021 talking about free thinking ideals and pursue wellness of mind, body and spirit.  

You’re the kind of woman who wouldn’t let a broken crapper get you down… no, you are indomitable.  

I will remain dedicated to those who can’t be caged in 2021.  If you hang around with me long enough, I will convince you that your best years are ahead!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Click this link ⬇️

➡️➡️➡️ CHOOSE HER COMMUNITY GOAL CHALLENGE ⬅️⬅️⬅️

Do you love choosing her?

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping women redefine midlife.  She helps women believe their best years are ahead.

Do you love choosing her, the woman you know yourself to BE?

Last year I chose a mantra that served me well, “I love the woman I am becoming in 2020,”  which turned out to be a year of tremendous growth.  Each obstacle that tempted me to quit, I remembered my commitment to my future self, and continued on the journey.  I can honestly say that I love who I am today because I fought hard to become her.  

I want to see what happens if I don’t give up in 2021. So, I choose a mantra that will inspire me to keep going in the face of any obstacle.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping women redefine midlife.  She helps women believe her best years are ahead.
I love choosing her!

The inspiration to choose her

Janet, one of my favorite teachers at the Life Coach School, taught a workshop this month called: Turning Obstacles Into Results.  This timely workshop focused on an important part of a goal setting process, identifying obstacles ahead of time. 

The key to achieving your heart’s desire is to acknowledge that your feelings will wax and wane in the process.  Identifying obstacles ahead of time gives you the chance to not only strategize, but understand what you will make that obstacle mean.  

Will you make the obstacle mean you are a failure or your dream is impossible?  Janet decided that overcoming an obstacle meant that she loved choosing her, the woman who is willing to do hard things to create the life she wants.

Janet inspired me to adopt the mantra “I love choosing her” for 2021.  Every time I do something that stretches me, I will proclaim, “I love choosing her,” the woman I know myself to BE!  

Keep choosing her

I have used various tools to effectively stay the course; vision boards, Pinterest boards for the word of the year, vision video, affirmations and mantras like my new one for 2021.  

Developing a future focus has revolutionized goal setting for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I love creating tools like the ones I listed.  They just never moved the needle until I learned to create a future from my future.  

I understood that 2020 would be a tremendous year of growth as I continually focused on my future self.  Moving forward in 2021 I have a strong relationship with my future self and want her to be proud that I stayed the course.  I understand that obstacles are not in my path, they are the path.  I will choose her on a daily basis.  

Setting goals

Will you choose her today, the woman you know yourself to BE?  Set her up for success by setting goals.

Wouldn’t it be great if you had clear goals, understood what separated you from your goals and developed strategies that will help you stay the course?  Yes!  And wouldn’t it be nice if the process was actually fun?

I can help!  I’d love to walk you through a goal setting process that I used to achieve my goals for 2020.  During one of the most trying years in our history, I became a certified life coach, read fiction books for fun, lost weight, improved key relationships, opened an Airbnb and started a coaching business.  One of my clients who went though the goal setting process landed a new job this year.  

Schedule a FREE mini session to get all your questions answered.  Simply click on the link provided and choose a date and time that works for you. 

Don’t ignore your own potential… go for it!  

Cheers to choosing HER!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Do you trust your intuition?

Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach, helping women reinvent midlife.  Do you trust your intuition?  Read more...
You will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the way, walk in it.”

Do you trust your intuition? 

Many of my clients are experiencing anxiety about the new year.  It seems that something new is brewing, but fear of the unknown in an unpredictable world is paralyzing growth.  

Intuition is defined as the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.  It’s your knowing.  It’s the little voice that you most likely ignore.  

Even ancient scriptures encourage you to listen to the voice:

Isaiah 30:21

Wether you turn to your right or to your left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the way, walk in it.”

Why don’t you listen to your intuition?

It’s a fair question worth being curious about.  

Have you ever experienced a time when you knew what to do, but chose a familiar path to be safe, only to later wish you had listened to that nudge from inside?  

Are you afraid of making a mistake or a wrong decision?  

Does trusting your inner voice seem dangerous?  

Are you afraid of being singled out or standing alone?

Become aware

You and I are conditioned to become the victim of outside influences.  It is easier to blame people or circumstances for your inability to create the life you want. It is time to become aware of the familiar thoughts and feelings keeping you from embracing the unknown.

“You are continuously keeping your life the same because you are keeping your attention (thoughts) and your energy (feelings) the same.”  Dr. Joe Dispenza 

You can take steps away from being the victim of life by becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings.    

Practice listening

How much room do you make in your life for the unpredictable, the unknown?  

Have you had the urge to journal and meditate?  Maybe this is the first bit of intuition you should listen to.  These two practices are the best ways to become aware of the thoughts and feelings actually guiding your life.  

Journal

If you want to create lasting change in your life, it is important to understand the three w’s: what, where and why.  Next to hiring a life coach, a daily journal habit is the best tool to help you get clear on what you want, where you currently are, and why you want the ideal life you envision. Last month I shared my four favorite journal prompts to help you past any resistance.  Choosing one of these prompts will help you discover what keeps you victimized to a thinking/feeling loop.  

Meditate/Prayer

The best way to turn off the noise of the world is meditation.  Slowing down to breath and listen is key.

Start with five minutes of breathing and quiet.  Notice when your mind wanders and gently bring it back to the present moment.  Don’t judge your inability to sit still.  This is totally natural.    Slowing down your mind is not only good for your creative juices, but aides in wellness.  The more you allow yourself to be still, the easier it gets to rest.  

There are so many resources for meditation practices.  I use the Insight Timer app to explore different meditation techniques.  YouTube offers numerous videos. Sometimes I listen to Pandora’s 528 Hz Miracle Radio for soft background music.

Explore your wisdom

It’s important to protect your ability to listen to your own wisdom.  I urge you to turn off your tv.  At least limit your exposure to the fear based programing.  

It is possible that during these chaotic times you have become addicted to information, which keeps you paralyzed. I confess that at times I have been glued to the information highway, but can tell a huge difference in my life when I listen to my own wisdom.

I realized a shift the other day when I was journaling.  I’ve noticed that in the past I looked for a something to deliver my dreams to me, to take care of me.  At some point during 2020 I turned inward for the answers.  I learned to take responsibility for my own thoughts and feelings.  This can be lonely work, but totally freeing.  

I believe God created you with an amazing mind.  You and I only use a fraction of the mind’s power.  God blessed you with unique gifts and talents as well.

Your voice, or intuition, is worth exploring.  Can you trust your ability to hear your own voice, your answers within? What is possible in your life is within the unknown!

Unlock the unknown

If you hang around with me long enough, I will convince you your best years are ahead.  

Navigating these chaotic times is not easy.  You may be experiencing anxiety about the new year.  I can help!

You do not have to be a victim of your life.  You can learn to trust your dreams and discover a new way of thinking, that will allow you to create your life.  It is possible to not only embrace the unknown, but to welcome it with enthusiasm.  

If you want to walk in creative freedom, schedule a free mini session today.  Simply click on the link below and pick a date and time on my calendar.  

Here’s to discovering the unknown in your life!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Creating My Future in 2020

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women reinvent midlife

Creating my future in 2020 was made possible by an investment in personal growth in 2019.

2020 was the year I tenaciously launched a coaching business during one of the most difficult years in America’s history.  From the beginning I saw the lockdowns and the “Corona Coaster” as a blessing, allowing me time to create my future.  

What led up to 2020 was also a blessing in disguise.

When I closed my antique store Flown The Coop in November 2018, I sold everything, including all the fixtures, not knowing what the future held.  I watched little pieces of my dream go to help build the big dreams of new shop owners.  The whole process was bitter sweet.  

It was pure determination to correct my course in 2019 that influenced me to attend two Tony Robbins events and enroll in the Life Coach School to become a certified life coach. Those brave steps forward healed my broken heart and allowed me to build something new.  

As I look back, 2020 created a solid foundation for my new career as a life coach.  I wrote 44 blog articles, coached several women through the storms of midlife and solidified my commitment to my future self.

Year in review

This week I will share some of my favorite blog articles from 2020.  It was hard, but I narrowed it down to a blog article each day, with a bonus blog I think you need for 2021.  I don’t normally toot my own horn, but I can’t help but be proud of myself as I look over a year of consistently creating content.  I truly hope that I have inspired you this year and helped you believe your best years are ahead.  

Monday – A Future Created From The Future

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of midlife reinvention helps women reinvent midlife

It may appear to be pointing out the obvious, but the future is in the future and not the past.  

Life is just getting started for me.  I’m currently writing the next chapter of my story with a future focus.  

This past weekend my Grandma Maggie would have celebrated her 100th birthday.  She missed the milestone by only 2 years.  I turn 50 years young this March.  By her standard, I have another 50 to live!  {BTW: I turned 50 in March of 2020… that’s a whole other story}

You are either creating from your past or your future…

READ MORE

Tuesday – Busting Midlife Myths

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women reinvent midlife

Could it be possible that you have accepted common midlife myths as reality? 

It occurred to me the other day that there are some common midlife myths accepted as truth.  What if they were simply not true? 

A few myths worth busting…

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Wednesday – Get To Know Her

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping midlife women reinvent midlife

Do you ever wonder what your future self will look like and feel uncertain what she even wants, but on the other hand… you desperately want to believe the best years are ahead?

In this article I offer four ways to get to know your future self.

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Thursday – What If Your Dream Was Measured In Miles?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women reinvent midlife

What if your dreams are measured in miles?  At what mile marker do you let the dream die?

I explain the determination of a weed and the grace you need for your dreams, then offer three ways to navigate the extra miles.

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Friday – Reject Ageism

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women reinvent midlife

Have you heard the term ageism?  You may not have experienced anything akin to discrimination, but you might have used it against yourself by buying into stereotypes.  Have you ever limited yourself because of your age?  It is a sneaky thing we do to ourselves when celebrating certain birthdays.  

I prefer ageless.  “To be ageless is to defy the rules of what it supposedly means to be this age or that,”  Dr. Christiane Northrup.  

I offer three ways to reject ageism.  

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Saturday – Four Things I Ditched For An Epic Midlife Pivot

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women reinvent midlife

A midlife pivot is another way of expressing a need to reboot & reclaim your life.  Midlife women experience this urge to pivot as they face an empty nest, a COVID downsize, a recent divorce or the anticipation of retirement.  Can you relate?

“There is nothing more powerful or radical or stunningly, radiantly beautiful than a woman who chooses to rebuild her life.  Day after day, hour after hour, no matter how many mistakes she must now spin into gold.”  ~ Cara Alwill Leyba

In this article I offer four things you should ditch for an epic midlife pivot.

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Sunday – Unabashedly Love Your Life

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women reinvent midlife

Do you love your life?  I mean unabashedly love life?

Do you want to?

I am a cockeyed optimist with uncommon energy.  This is NOT my natural state, but one I am cultivating.  I choose to BE.

In this article I share a project that had an impact on falling in love with my life.  I knew this creative project would be easy for me.  I journal everyday and am crystal clear on my dreams.  What I didn’t realize was how my heart would be affected.  

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The Bonus

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women reinvent midlife

Next to my vision video, journaling has had the most impact on my growth from 2018 – 2020.  I think it is so important for your journey too.  I could not do a year in review without including my recent article, Four Journal Prompts That Will Propel You Past Your Resistance.  

If you want to create lasting change in your life, it is important to understand the three w’s: what, where and why.  Next to hiring a life coach, a daily journal habit is the best tool to help you get clear on what you want, where you currently are, and why you want the ideal life you envision. My four favorite journal prompts can help you past any resistance.

READ MORE

Make 2021 Your Year of Epic Growth

In nearly ever blog I wrote in 2020 I offered a FREE mini session for those of you who are curious about life coaching. Through coaching sessions, I will encourage you to invest in your personal growth and awaken your dreams by creating an epic midlife reinvention.  

If you hang around me long enough I will convince you that your best years are ahead.  

I hope you don’t wait until 2021 is upon you, schedule a free mini session today by clicking the link below.  Simply pick a date and time on my calendar that works for you.  It really is that simple to get started on your dreams.  

Here’s to 2021 and continued growth!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach