I have a theory. Women aren’t necessarily going to ask for help, but need to be heard and understood.
My husband often gets frustrated with me when I share whatever I’m upset about. He feels like he should fix it. And honestly, unloading grievances often sounds like a cry for help. So I avoid using him as a sound board.
I have found that many women are accustomed to keeping their emotions bottled up and less likely to ask for help.
So, I posed this question on Instagram.
“Women, do you want help or do you just want to be heard?”
I thought I knew the answer, but was surprised to learn that women want both.
Lots of women want to be heard and understood, but also want help. My friend Vicki, who is a giver, wondered if she was actually taking an opportunity to give away from someone by not asking for help. My friend Leslie thoughtfully added that she needs to be heard for true connection, but likes physical help. And there are times when a spiritual or mental issue is done alone, after being heard.
When was the last time you asked for help?
I’m sure you know to ask for help if you need a tree cut down, or help moving furniture.
You might hire a coach if you need to get in shape, or want to start a new business.
But when was the last time you asked for help facing all the changes that happen in midlife.. a heartbreaking downsize, explaining your new role in social situations, etc. You might need a push to pursue a dream, but have never talked through the obstacles that are preventing you from moving forward.
A midlife crisis doesn’t always show up driving a red sports car. From what I see a “midlife crisis” shows up quietly in an empty nest or an empty calendar that was once overbooked.
You may have never considered asking for help for what you are experiencing. It is hard to put a finger on the problem, and can even feel silly. You finally have free time and a little financial freedom, but you can’t seem to explain why you’re so lonely and dread the future.
Obviously it is not healthy to keep feelings bottled in.
You don’t need to be fixed, you just need someone to listen to you and help you clarify your thoughts.
I understand and want to provide a trusted sound board for you. I believe you can move from dreading each day to believing your best years are ahead.
I’d love to help you create a vision for your future. Visit my calendar link and schedule a free consultation.
I am also considering a weekly gathering at The Coop for those who want to support each other through midlife changes. It could be an opportunity to share weekly highs and lows in a group setting. Let me know what you think… a coffee hour, a happy hour… I am open to suggestions.
Here’s to believing our best years are ahead!
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.