Won’t ask for help, but need to be heard and understood

Posted on April 25, 2023 by tiffany

I have a theory. Women aren’t necessarily going to ask for help, but need to be heard and understood.

My husband often gets frustrated with me when I share whatever I’m upset about. He feels like he should fix it. And honestly, unloading grievances often sounds like a cry for help. So I avoid using him as a sound board.

I have found that many women are accustomed to keeping their emotions bottled up and less likely to ask for help.

So, I posed this question on Instagram.

“Women, do you want help or do you just want to be heard?”

I thought I knew the answer, but was surprised to learn that women want both.

Lots of women want to be heard and understood, but also want help. My friend Vicki, who is a giver, wondered if she was actually taking an opportunity to give away from someone by not asking for help. My friend Leslie thoughtfully added that she needs to be heard for true connection, but likes physical help. And there are times when a spiritual or mental issue is done alone, after being heard.

When was the last time you asked for help?

I’m sure you know to ask for help if you need a tree cut down, or help moving furniture.

You might hire a coach if you need to get in shape, or want to start a new business.

But when was the last time you asked for help facing all the changes that happen in midlife.. a heartbreaking downsize, explaining your new role in social situations, etc. You might need a push to pursue a dream, but have never talked through the obstacles that are preventing you from moving forward.

A midlife crisis doesn’t always show up driving a red sports car. From what I see a “midlife crisis” shows up quietly in an empty nest or an empty calendar that was once overbooked.

You may have never considered asking for help for what you are experiencing. It is hard to put a finger on the problem, and can even feel silly. You finally have free time and a little financial freedom, but you can’t seem to explain why you’re so lonely and dread the future.

Finding help

Obviously it is not healthy to keep feelings bottled in.

You don’t need to be fixed, you just need someone to listen to you and help you clarify your thoughts.

I understand and want to provide a trusted sound board for you. I believe you can move from dreading each day to believing your best years are ahead.

I’d love to help you create a vision for your future. Visit my calendar link and schedule a free consultation.

I am also considering a weekly gathering at The Coop for those who want to support each other through midlife changes. It could be an opportunity to share weekly highs and lows in a group setting. Let me know what you think… a coffee hour, a happy hour… I am open to suggestions.

Here’s to believing our best years are ahead!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

Buy The Weird Stuff

Posted on February 28, 2023 by tiffany

“Yep, buy the weird stuff. Buy the stuff that makes people go, “What is that?” Buy the stuff that makes your home the best estate sale when you die” ~ Author unknown.

Jeff and I recently took a quick trip to San Diego. I love travel!

I dipped my toes in the ocean, visited family, ate great food, etc. Even though the weather was weirdly cold and rainy, it was good to experience another part of the country!

Even so, I am surprisingly happy to BE home.

Your own brand of weird

It makes my heart happy to be surrounded by the weird stuff that tells my plucky story.

Midlife has afforded me the gift of truly appreciating my story. I finally invested time into getting to know what makes me thrive… creating spaces, offering hospitality and inspiring others.

Coming to terms with who I am has fueled a desire to help you discover your own brand of weird. I want to to give you permission to invest in your story.

Flown The Coop

Flown The Coop exists to create spaces, offer hospitality and inspire others.

Shopping with Flown The Coop will help you create spaces that tell your story. I am working hard to source items that can’t be found on Amazon, including the vintage and antique items you would expect, as well as handmade and small brands.

Flown The Coop will also be a creative space for connecting with kindred spirits! There will be classes on a variety of topics and skills you might not have tried before, including ways you can share your story through offering hospitality.

As a certified life coach, I will continue to help midlife women believe their best years are ahead with coaching sessions. The store will also feature items that inspire you to discover what makes you thrive.

Coming soon!

This vision will come together on March 25th for a Grand Reopening.

Hope to see you then. I’d love to learn about your story!

Here’s to buying the weird stuff and being your own brand of weird!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Hiding in plain sight

Posted on June 8, 2022 by tiffany

Are you hiding your gifts in plain sight? Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach helps women find the reasons they are hiding and inspires them to explore what makes them feel alive.

Scrolling through Facebook the other day, I was drawn to a story of a violinist playing in the New York subway. Turns out he was the famous Joshua Belle. No one who passed him by knew or appreciated his gift of music. Although he played at a sold out theater in Boston two days before, this performance only earned him $30 in the subway. The violinist was hiding in plain sight.

I had a client this week tell me she had been hiding in plain sight. She struggled with spelling as a child. Instead of getting help, she found ways to accommodate and hide it. She has a brilliant mind, but allowed this one area to hold her back.

She was not the only one to make that statement. My business coach pointed out to me that I had been hiding in plain sight. I do the things that I’m good at, but not the things that actually move the needle in my coaching business. OUCH! I thoroughly enjoy writing and sharing my life on social media… but God forbid if I actually talk to women about midlife.

Talking to Jeff about this idea of hiding in plain sight, he reminded me of his desire to play the cello. There is a physical therapist at his hospital who also teaches Cello lessons. He has never met her, just knows about her. This mystery woman makes him wonder what gifts his coworkers have that he’d never know about.

Well, what does hiding in plain sight really mean?

Maybe you just feel that your gifts are not appreciated, so you’d rather not share them.

Do you have beliefs about your abilities that prevent you from stepping into things you’ve always wanted to do?

Are you only doing what comes easy and avoiding what is challenging?

Do your coworkers or friends know that you play the cello or create works of art in your spare time?

The good news

Midlife is the perfect time to share your gifts with a world that desperately needs people who choose vitality.

The gift of midlife is having time to roam, and to be surprised to learn something new about yourself in the process.

What could you get lost for hours doing?

Are you hiding in plain sight?

I’m not just hiding behind my writing. I’d actually love to chat with you about the areas of your life that you’re hiding in plain sight.

I’d love to help you first find the reasons you’re hiding, and then inspire you to explore what makes you feel alive.

If this is you, I have made it easy! Either reach out to me on any of my social media platforms or use my calendar link to schedule a time that works for you.

Here’s to the gift of midlife and allowing our gifts to shine!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Dancing with your dreams

Posted on May 30, 2022 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, helping women make it through midlife without a crisis. — Revival Mercantile, Brenham, Texas

After closing my store four years ago, I never thought I’d get back on the dance floor with my antique dream. Yet, here I am dancing with my dreams.

Coaching women who are struggling to see their next step has taught me the importance of following your bliss. It is not a cliché, clients really do come alive when they discover who they are and what makes them feel alive.

My bliss is found in creating spaces, offering hospitality and inspiring others. I especially feel alive when I am hunting for unique pieces, and then working them into a beautiful space for others to enjoy.

Revival Mercantile

My unique finds have found a home at Revival Mercantile in Brenham, Texas. Stacy, the store owner, hosts a community of creators on the second floor of her historic building that once bottled soda. The brick walls and hardwood floors are the perfect backdrop.

I love Revival’s mission statement… Our carefully curated collections tell your story and honor your journey.

“It’s not what I do, it’s who I am.” Maverick

Creating spaces isn’t what I do, it’s who I am. It’s more than a soul sucking job, but a chance to offer my spark of creativity.

There is a danger in confusing what you do with your identity. I follow retirement groups that regularly discuss the fear of retiring and loosing the identity they’ve held for decades. That fear sadly implies that retirement is a dead end and not an opportunity to dance with dormant dreams.

I believe it’s important to get to know yourself, to follow your bliss until you land in a beautiful spot that sets your soul on fire! It’s really about offering the world what only you can offer.

Can you feel the difference?

It’s your chance to dance

I invite you to join me on the dance floor of life. You are not a wallflower.

This is your season to follow your bliss, to discover who you are when you are dancing with your dreams.

What are the things you’ve put off trying? If making money was not the priority, what would you pursue?

It is not the season to live vicariously through others. If you need a little nudge out on the dance floor, I can help.

I invite you to schedule a consultation… a chat to see if working with me is a good fit for your journey. Simply reach out to me or use my calendar link to pick a time/date that works for you.

Here’s to following your bliss on the dance floor! It’s a revival! 🙂

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

What is keeping you stuck

Posted on May 23, 2022 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach, helping women make it through midlife without a crisis. In this blog, she talks about not being a pansy, but a dandelion.

I’ve been journaling about my inability to get in shape. Well, you can’t actually get in shape if you are avoiding exercise and having too many cocktails. What is keeping me stuck?

I vacillate between dreading the workouts and loathing myself for not doing the workouts, two sides of the same coin… shame.

Thoughts are self-fulling prophesies. Somewhere along the way I had a thought that this should be easy.

When it is not easy, it becomes easier to to avoid, to retreat from my goals and to give up.

I’m not a pansy. I’m a dandelion.

The thought that I am not a pansy… I am a dandelion will kick my butt back in shape.

Feel free to use the thought too, especially if you feel stuck.

You have done hard things, so have I.

Pansies represent loving feelings, but as a delicate flower has a reputation for weakness.

Dandelions are determined and can grow anywhere in any condition. Although this flower is considered a weed, it has been used to symbolize light, hope, and healing for centuries. Blowing on dandelion puffs feels playful, offering a hint of longevity as the seeds of hope are spread on the wind.

Can you see yourself as a dandelion?

Do you feel determined to become the woman you can admire, or are you avoiding the desires of your heart because you think it should be easier?

I am going on record. I’m officially ditching the narrative that it should be easier and embracing the discomfort of getting back in shape. I value longevity and wellness, standing strong and being proud of how I show up for life. I am worth the effort… and so are you!

Let’s cheer each other on!

You are not a delicate flower and can do hard things too!

You’re a dandelion, the underdog of humble strength that offers abundant hope.

If this resonates with you, let’s cheer each other on. I’d love to hear about your journey.

However, if you are vacillating between dread and loathing yourself, I can help you! My clients are experiencing success in becoming the hero of their own story. It helps to have someone listen to your story and help you see where you are stuck, and then get you on the road to creating the life YOU really want.

I invite you to schedule a consultation… a chat to see if working with me is a good fit for your journey. Simply reach out to me or use my calendar link to pick a time/date that works for you.

Here’s to becoming a strong, determined dandelion.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

The art of living intentionally

Posted on May 15, 2022 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt helps women make it through midlife without a crisis. She believes in the are of living intentionally. She can help you too!

Whoo hoo, you made it to midlife! No doubt that you’ve done hard things along the way, but the journey doesn’t end when you send your adult children off into the world or the day after your retirement party. In fact, it is time to get serious about the art of living intentionally and create the life you always dreamed.

So, what are you waiting for?

Recently I signed up for an online DIY chair reupholster class. I have a longstanding chair addiction and always wanted to learn how to reupholster. I claimed that I didn’t have time to learn, but the idea of sucking at it held me back for years. What the heck? Now I have plenty of time to get past sucking at it.

Learning is loving yourself

A love of learning keeps you young. With each new challenge, you become a better version of yourself. Each new goal forces you to learn new skills and step outside your comfort zone.

What opportunities exist for you to challenge yourself, try something that you’ve always wanted to?

Midlife is your gift to explore all those interests you’ve thought about in the carpool line or sitting through an endless zoom call that could have been handled in an email. What were your day dreams?

Turn those daydreams into reality.

Dream like you did when you were five years, but imagine yourself living your dream five years in the future.

Here are a few journal prompts to spark your imagination.

Make a list of at least twenty five things you’ve always wanted to do.

What skills will you need to learn?

What habits will help you achieve your dream?

Who do you need to connect with?

Cringe worthy

So, who cares if I suck at reupholstery? I’ll share my journey even if it’s cringe worthy. The truth is any skill can be learned. In the process of sharing my journey, I hope to inspire you to step into a new challenge.

If you are feeling hesitant, I’d love to help you with the art of living intentionally.

I can help you identify the real reason you aren’t stepping into a fun future. Once you remove all the excuses and fears, you’ll be free to create the life you always dreamed.

What are you waiting for? I invite you to schedule a chat with me… it gives you an idea of how coaching can help you to feel excited about midlife and get you moving past the emotions of starting something new.

It is my intention that you believe your best years are ahead.

Here’s to sucking at something new… only to discover new things about myself!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Choose Yourself

Posted on May 8, 2022 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach and master of reinvention... want you to learn to choose you in midlife!

How often do you choose yourself? A common theme with the women I coach is learning to make yourself a priority in midlife. Some clients are learning to take back their time, while others are making this their time to shine.

Choosing yourself is about finding significance in the opinion you hold of yourself. ~Tiffany

Significance is not selfish, it’s one of the eight basic human needs. I promise developing a healthy opinion does not make you a narcissist.

The real problem is people expect their needs to be met by others, wether the need is solving loneliness, feeling heard or finding purpose.

So, it is not surprising when you find yourself disappointed with people or circumstances, especially when they are not meeting your needs.

Choosing me is hard

I hate inconveniencing others and tend to project my feelings or expectations onto others.

When I make decisions based on how it will affect the people around me, even when it is not in my best interest, I then tend to expect others to consider how their decisions will affect me.

As I regularly preach, other people are not thinking of you. They are busy meeting their own needs… a vicious cycle that is broken when you learn to meet your own needs, to choose yourself.

A priority

After a recent fight with my husband, that revolved around making plans without discussing it first, this thought hit me like a ton of bricks.

How can I feel like a priority when the opinion I hold of myself is squat.

The fear of being unlovable or unworthy is very common, and not surprising that I caught myself in this pattern of belief. I was making the plans my husband made mean I was not a priority, which was not what he meant at all.

Had I realized that I was triggered by the thought I was not a priority, I might have approached the topic completely different.

Find freedom

It is my intention for you to believe that your best years are ahead and midlife is a precious gift, a time to find your significance in your own opinion.

If you have a healthy self worth, good for you! We need more people like you in the world. By valuing yourself, you walk in freedom and no one has to live up to your expectations.

However, if you struggle with significance like I do, there is freedom for you too.

Start acknowledging when you’re looking to outside influences to gain the value you seek.

Learn to speak up for yourself.

Believe your time is valuable.

See your gifts are priceless.

Start to choose yourself.

I can help you traverse the web of thoughts ingrained in your opinion of yourself and create new ones that will empower you to move forward into an exciting, fun future.

I invite you to schedule a free consultation. Let’s chat about how working with me will help you create a healthy opinion of yourself. I want to learn where you are at, and where you’d like to be in life.

Here’s to finding significance in the opinion you hold of yourself! And choosing to believe in your worth!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Opportunities for resiliency

Posted on May 2, 2022 by tiffany

Have you ever felt rode hard and put up wet? That feeling is a clear sign that it is time to check-in, take stock and evaluate what you want to create for yourself and acknowledge the opportunity for resiliency.

This morning I woke up with achey legs and feeling acidic. My health and wellness is suffering from months under the pressure of planning a wedding, which by the way turned out perfect. I skipped yoga and indulged in evening cocktails as I tried to turn off the constant to-do list in my head.

As I clean up the wedding whirlwind and a fun-filled week with my grandkids, thoughts of resiliency pop in my head.

I feel exhausted, but it is time to focus on the life I want and who I want to be.

Here are my random thoughts on resiliency.

Messes clean up.

Weight gained can be lost.

Hearts mend.

The human body bounces back to wellness if taken care of.

Kids will grow up, get married and have kiddos… and I continue to thrive (when I choose to).

Opportunities for resilience

Being aware of your resiliency is empowering.

I am run down, out of shape and gained belly fat in the process, but I will not to hang out in self deprivation.

This is just another opportunity to prove that I am resilient and can become a better version of me in the process.

Opportunities for you to prove your resiliency exist too.

Focus on the future

A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step, or in this case a thought.

Start developing a dream of what you want for your life and how you want to show up.

Start dreaming with the innocence of a five year old, but with the inner strength of the woman you will become five years in the future.

Decide what you want to believe about yourself.

Don’t be shy about asking for help!

It is my intention that you believe your best years are ahead. I help women discover they are resilient and create the life they really want.

I’d love to help you navigate your opportunities for resiliency.

Reach out to me! I offer a free consultation. Simply click on my calendar link and choose a date and time that works for you.

Don’t waste any more precious time stuck! You are more resilient that you realize.

And you don’t have to feel alone. It always helps to talk through your opportunity for resiliency with someone who is great at listening and can ask the right questions.

Here’s to being resilient and thriving!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

Seeds of potential

Posted on April 10, 2022 by tiffany

Yes, I am still obsessed with spring and gardening. I can’t help it. Lately, I’ve been focusing on my wheel house, where my seeds of potential lie in my natural gifts and talents. I want you to discover your seeds of potential!

If you have followed me for any length of time, you will know I am a huge proponent of journaling. Through journaling I discovered that I feel alive and find purpose in creating spaces, offering hospitality and inspiring others to live BIG lives.

Making decisions about how I invest my time is so easy now, as long as it falls into one of the three areas of my wheel house. And to be clear, my wheel house looks more like a green house than a boat. In this space I can nurture so many seeds of potential.

Calibrate to your seeds

I recently listened to Ester Hicks describe calibration and it blew me away. What you focus on is your point of attraction for your life.

Let that sink in.

I want YOU to calibrate to your seeds of potential. Start by honestly and with curiosity, journaling questions posed by Ester Hicks.

Am I focused or confused?

Do I feel rooted in a broader understanding or flailing around in the unknown?

What are my strong desires and do I support these desires?

Do I believe I inherently know where the solutions are to my desires?

However you answer the above questions is your point of attraction, and what will likely sprout in the garden of your life.

Offering grace

If your honest answers revealed that you are flailing around in confusion and neglecting your desires, let me offer you grace in that now you can understand what you don’t want and focus on what you want.

“Remember, having faith means recognizing the value of what you are here to contribute to the world and allowing your actions to be grounded in that truth.” ~Marie Forleo

You have special gifts that only you can contribute to the world. Within your wheel house lies seeds of potential that will grace your life with so much purpose.

If you find yourself unable to recognize your uniques gifts or worry your potential has gone fallow, I can help you find clarity to move towards your FUN future.

I invite you to schedule a chat with me to explore your seeds of potential. Simply click on my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you.

Here’s to flourishing in your own unique wheel house, nurturing your seeds of potential!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

What does reinvention mean to you?

Posted on March 14, 2022 by tiffany

What does reinvention mean to you? Could it simply mean change?

The only constant in life is change. ~Heraclitus

Generation X, those born between 1965 and 1980, are also called the lost generation. If you are a GenXer, you work hard, are loyal and follow the expected course. You might not understand the millennials work ethics because your approach to change is very calculated.

Midlife, the central period of life, is full of heartbreaking change that many are not prepared for. I’d like to propose that it is an exciting time of reinvention, a time to get lost on a path that you’ve always dreamed of taking. A time to fly free!

How will you show up for change?

After I graduated high school, I enlisted in the AirForce. I had little direction in my life, and thought it would be an adventure. My high school career was rocky, I never felt like I fit in with any one group. When I got to tech school, I felt freedom to be anyone I wanted. So, I walked into our community room with a newfound confidence and proclaimed, “I am going to the movies, would anyone like to go with me?”

Jeff took me up on that offer… and the rest is history.

I want you to envision the season of midlife the same way I did as an Airman out of basic training. You’ve followed the predictable path and now you are entering a new room, or season of life. How do you want to show up?

Do you feel lost?

As a member of the lost generation, do you feel unprepared for this season of your life?

It sucks that change never seems to get easier.

As a self proclaimed master of reinvention, I have changed course numerous times in my lifetime. That doesn’t mean that I became a totally different person, but that I simply tried a different approach to life.

Looking back through my journals, I discovered there were predictable stages that I went through with each change.

The Four Stages of Reinvention

That is why I wrote the journal, The Four Stages of Reinvention. Here’s a little video I created to explain the journal…

Join me

This Wednesday, March 16th at 1pm CST I will offer a class on The Four Stages of Reinvention. I’d love for you to join me!

This class will be a zoom call with like minded women who feel a little unprepared for this season of life. I will walk you through the 4 stages and offer a few journal prompts and practices along the way.

It’s a free class!

To join the class, REGISTER HERE. Once you register, you will be given a zoom link for the class.

Here’s to flying free into the next season of life with confidence!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!