“When we face a decision to fall back or press on, the whole universe holds its breath.” John Eldridge
Let that sink in.
Fierce or Resilient?
My 2017 Pinterest Board was labeled “The year to be FIERCE.” What was I thinking? The Board should be labeled RESILIENT.
It’s hard to be fierce when you are recovering from a major surgery, then break your arm and face another health scare all in the first quarter. I’m not a sick person! Dealing with doctors is not my favorite thing to do. Up until this year, I have avoided the doctor’s office (except for the yearly well visits required by insurance). Good health was a badge I wore proudly!
Finding a doctor was a frustrating ordeal for me in 2016, followed by various issues that led up to surgery on January 9th that didn’t go as planned. Six weeks later, I was disappointed to learn that the doctor who did my surgery was moving to a different health care system and would no longer accept my insurance. When a new and potentially scary health issue arose, I was more defeated by the necessity to find a new doctor than I was the scare. Even more aggravating is the system that requires a regular doctor to order tests, who will then inevitably need to refer me to a specialist if there is a problem. I spent a couple days deciding wether to press on and have the new issue looked at ~ or fall back and ignore it. Side note, I never made it to my follow up appointment for my broken arm. I figured that they would just confirm what I already knew, it’s healing fine and just be careful.
As if walking through an internal struggle about health issues and recovery wasn’t enough, I had to add shame and embarrassment by transparently posting my dismay to Facebook, along with a sad picture to emphasize just how miserable I felt. Why do I always feel the need to air my emotions so publicly? I feel like a whiner just explaining my situation. I have friends and family who are quietly walking through FAR WORSE. Fortunately, I discovered most people didn’t see it as a character flaw (craziness displayed on the porch with a cocktail) and sent massive words of encouragement. This embarrassment was a wake up call to me and was the catalyst into a life lesson.
I now have both.
Proper perspective is helpful when faced with the choice to fall back or press on.
Resilience is an important life skill that is not taught in school, or comes naturally. It is only learned by walking through rough stuff. Although, it would be helpful to teach children to look at the world honestly and not expect life to handed to them.
I had expectations that I would hit 2017 with fierce determination. I am truly happiest when I am fiercely pursuing an idea. My ambitions were to conquer fitness and weight loss, and had grandiose business dreams for Flown The Coop. Reality was a healthy dose of adversity; physically, emotionally and with my business. The combination has given me a fresh lesson in resilience.
I am a “glass half full” type of girl who is currently working on the idea of happiness. I’m learning to align my expectations with realty, an essential skill in withstanding or recovering quickly from difficult conditions. I generally see life through a lens of possibilities and abundance. The lesson is: pray, do your best and let go of the outcomes. I am not in control.
There are two ways I look at adversity. I’m doing something right and am a target, or I’m doing something wrong and am being punished. I chose to believe that I’m doing something right. I didn’t come this far to fail now. I am learning to dream big dreams and make exciting plans for the year, with the expectation that there will be bumps in the road. It’s not healthy to avoid trials.
I’ve had plenty of time to analyze life while recovering from surgery. It is encouraging to think there is a host of witnesses in the universe holding their breath; waiting for me to flip a switch, to embrace my life as it is and live in the flow. They are cheering me on!
I’m not a quitter.
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Philippians 3: 12
Trust In You by Lauren Daigle has become my anthem.
Yeah, I know most people don’t put their struggles on the Internet for the world to see. My hope is that transparency will encourage you. Life isn’t always what it appears to be on a polished Facebook or Instagram account. Going for dreams and pursuing ideas is the sweet spot in life, full of promise and excitement. Equally important are the seasons that stretch us and makes us stronger. In 2017 I will be Fiercely Resilient, while I give myself permission to cultivate dreams with my expectations balanced in realty.
What is your word for 2017? I’d love to hear about your goals, dreams, visions, and even setbacks. Let’s cheer each other on! If you are faced with the decision to fall back or press on, I will hold my breath and cheer for you!
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!