Have you spent your whole life trying to measure up? Finally, midlife is the perfect time to ditch the audition of other people’s opinion and decide YOUR role in the universal story.
Far too many midlife women I speak to are stuck thinking do I belong or struggling with the idea that they are either not enough or too much. These fears keep you on the sideline of life, or worse allow others to define your life.
“If your aim is to prove I am ‘enough,’ the project goes on to infinity because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable.” ~ Nathaniel Brandon
Decide you are in, and definitely not put yourself out!
The audition
According to Victoria Castle in her book The Trance of Scarcity,
“The trouble is, most of us are convinced that we didn’t make the cut, that we don’t belong, so we spend all our time either auditioning for other’s approval, hoping we’ll be included, or pretending not to care wether we’re in or out.
I spent my whole life auditioning for the parts that I felt would make me feel significant. The audition has shown up in my life in a variety of ways. Maybe you can relate.
In high school I was friends with everyone, but never really fit in a specific group. I was in the background feeling that I didn’t quite belong. After high school I decided that I could start over as a confident outgoing person.
Funny story, while in technical school for the Air Force, I showed up to a community room and boldly announced that I was going to the movies, inviting all who wanted to join me. Jeff took me up on the offer and we’ve been together ever since.
Over time, I allowed the feeling of not belonging to sneak back into my social life. It took me nearly fifty years to ditch the audition of other people’s opinions and define the role I wanted to play in the universal story.
Popularity Contest
Social media artificially creates roles for us to audition. Not many people display their crazy on their social media platforms, but curate their life as to win a popularity contest. If you are not careful, you’ll measure your worth in followers, friends, likes, emojis, etc.
The popularity contest showed up in nearly every business I attempted. Believing business is some kind of popularity contest that I had no chance winning, I took myself out of the game on numerous occasions. I now appreciate the valuable contribution I have to offer and see how I can serve others instead of win their approval.
You may not be business minded, but I bet you can think of ways this sneaky contest shows up in midlife if you let it.
Other People’s Opinions
As I explained in my blog article: The Gift That Keeps On Giving, midlife is a gift. Not only is it be a season of financial, time and failure freedom; it could be the season you start living for your own opinion.
If you are living in fear of other people’s opinion, you are assuming to know what they think.
First of all honey, they aren’t thinking of you. Studies have shown that most people are really only thinking of their own life. They are spending more time judging themselves than they judge you.
When you are worried what other people think, it is because you assume and fear the opinion they are thinking is true.
Society expectations
I am dedicated to those who can’t be caged, living a life of a Gen.U.Ine Free Spirit.
I’ve never fit in a box. It used to bother me, but now I embrace it.
There are numerous was society might have boxed you in. Pressures to get married, not to get married; have kids, not to have kids; homeschool versus public education; go to college or the school of hard knocks; retire or stay in a soul sucking job…. Get the picture?
Midlife is the season you can finally defy the cage and define who you want to be.
End the audition in three steps
1. Life is not a popularity contest when you genuinely love who you are. I am proof that when you show up as your true self, you attract the people who are meant to be in your life. Ask Jeff.
2. Create, and recreate, the role you want to play in the universal story. There are no society rules or opinions that matter, but your own. Define your life from within.
3. Simply get past your own bullshit story by listening to the stirring of your soul.
Will you accept YOUR part?
If your soul is stirring, I want to encourage you to end the audition!
So many women I work with are at the precipice of change and need to pivot, but worry about what other people think of them or fear they won’t belong. I can help!
Schedule a FREE session to chat with me about rising above your midlife bullshit, including the opinion of others. I can help you identify where you are, the lies you are believing and how to navigate forward.
It is time you defined midlife and the role you play in the universal story. If you hang with me long enough I will convince you that your best days are ahead.
Here’s to a life defined within!
~Tiffany
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.
