Does beating myself up work?
Here I go again, beating myself up about a recent weight gain.
I am disappointed, but the way I treat myself is ridiculous.
It hit me that I subconsciously think feeling horrible about myself is the solution.
As if a good scolding will put a fire under my butt.
This mindset is similar to thinking hangovers will stop me from drinking wine again.
Has it ever worked?
It sucks that creating positive change never get easier.
Beating myself up with regret
Copious amount of regret or remorse will not produce the energy needed to change course.
First, let me remind you to NOT beat yourself up for having lower energy thoughts and feelings.
They are there to teach you something. Take a moment to acknowledge them and notice what the feelings produce.
For me, regret feels heavy and defeated. The feeling causes me to avoid exercise, wear big flowing dresses to hide, increase self depredating trash talk, and/or buffer with a bottle of wine, which creates even more regret.
If feeling horrible about yourself won’t motivate you, then what will?
Only a strong reason will motivate you to walk through any discomfort for change.
Why do you dream of any accomplishment or destination?
You long for a feeling that you don’t currently have.
Your “why” is linked to a feeling you desire.
How do you want to feel?
There’s a symphony of emotions available to you at any given time. I’d be happy to email you a two page list of emotions.
So, I asked myself how will I feel when I reach my ideal weight?
Beautiful. Worthy. Strong. Confident. Capable. Smart. Blissful. Carefree. Ecstatic. Energetic. Energized. Exhilarated. Focused. Free. Gleeful. Healthy. Jubilant. Liberated. Natural. Playful. Radiant. Rapturous. Relaxed. Self-affirming. Tenacious. Vigorous. Youthful.
Is it possible to experience that feeling now? YES!
Today as I walked to the post office I practiced thinking I am radiant, which made me walk a little taller and put a smile on my face. There is a big energetic difference between regret and radiant. I felt it.
Do you want to know what you really think about yourself? Carry a notebook for twenty four hours to jot down every thought you have about yourself.
Before you start estimate a ratio of bad thoughts. Do you think it will be twenty percent or eighty?
At the end of your experiment, take a hard look at how you are treating yourself.
Is this how you want to think and feel?
If not, make a list of how you want to feel. What will you need to believe?
I can help
It sucks to discover how ridiculous you are treating yourself and realize that beating yourself up never works.
My free guide Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS is a great start. There are excellent journal prompts and practices to get you to question your BS beliefs and create ones that better serve you.
I also offer a free consultation. Ever wondered why midlife women hire a life coach? Is it a good fit for you? I invite you to hop onto a call with me to get your questions answered.
I know I can help! I’m seeing results in my own life and the lives of my clients.
Simply click on my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you!
Here’s to feeling radiant and ditching regret!
And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky