Saying NO to notions

Midlife is a good time to reevaluate what you have thought is true about life, and possibly say no to your notions.

What is something you believed in your 30’s that you no longer believe? 

Asking for a friend

I had fun asking my friends on Facebook to share beliefs they once had in our 30’s

Here are a few that I love:

60 is old.

My jeans had to be a certain size.

It’s not possible to train for a marathon at my age.

I had to be the peace maker.

People who had a lot of money had no problems.

What are yours?

I’m convinced that we all have notions that we might be ready to ditch.

Midlife is the perfect time to break free and truly live!

What are notions that you no longer believe?

OH… and while we are asking… where the heck did these notions come from?  Who makes up the rules anyway?  

It’s so fascinating to think about, but maybe it never occurred to you to reevaluate what you believe. 

Let me encourage you to get curious about some of your notions that may need to be ditched.  

Question everything

I think everything is up for questioning. 

Do you have to be a certain size to be happy?  

What age is too old?  

Why not train to run a marathon at 50?  

Your answers could be a clue to how your second half of life will go.  

Are you ready to ditch the notions you once believed?  If you can, life has endless possibilities!  

Need help?

Some notions you no longer believe could be due to hardships and unexpected twists in the road.  Even when life does not go as planned, I’ve seen resiliency that truly inspires me.  

It is never too late to create new notions, see life with new possibilities.  

You might recognize some notions, but are not convinced you could move past them.  

I am confident that I can help you say yes to life.  It is time to discover what your notion of fun is, what matters most to you and to fall in love with life.  

Most of all I’d love to help you define life on your terms.  

I invite you to take the first step by scheduling a chat with me.  I can send you my calendar link.  It is simple to pick a date/time that works for you.  

Here’s to embracing new notions!

~Tiffany Eckhardt

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

What the hell happened?

Tiffany Eckhardt, helping women make it through midlife without a crisis.  Instead of asking what the hell happened, she helps you answer what's next.

The Facebook post read… Have you ever stopped, looked around and say, “What the hell happened to my life?”

Several people responded… all the damn time.  

Reading between the lines, I felt a sense of resignation from the people who responded.

Gauging from the responses, a high percentage of people feel the same way.  Life has gotten off track, but is it the end of the line?

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”  Albert Einstein 

Whom have you become?  

When I was a little girl I informed my mother that my name is Anna Belle Lee, and that I would not answer to anything else.  

I had endless dreams and no doubt I could be anything I wanted.  

That little girl has been knocked down a bit over the years and her dreams tarnished with past failures and disappointments.  

Yet, I still believe with my whole heart I can BE anything I want to BE.  I refuse to stop dreaming.  

What’s next?

This is your life, are you who you want to BE?

How can you tap into the possibilities that you once dreamed of as a child?

This year I have revisited the things I enjoyed in my youth, like roller skating.  It feels playful.  Solutions to life’s struggles always come when I’m relaxed and carefree.  

Instead of asking what happened, I started asking what’s next and became curious about what lights me up.

Make a list of things that you once loved and do one.  Then try another.  

Dream with the imagination of a little girl not entangled with the past, and then ask what’s next.

What is in your way?

It’s fun to dream.  So, what’s in your way?  Why aren’t you allowing yourself to dream as you once did as a child?

The gap between asking what happened and what’s next might be a fear of change.  

Do you feel resistant to change?  Why is it so scary?  

Are you afraid of disappointing yourself?  

Do you fear what’s next will be more of the same?  

Don’t be afraid to acknowledge the real questions nagging at you.  

It’s hard to have the energy to create a bright future when you are preoccupied with the fear.

Wouldn’t you rather live with the curiosity of a child?  It is possible to bridge the gap and learn to embrace change.  

Back on track  

After a lifetime of being knocked off track, you might not be convinced that creating new tracks is actually possible. 

Or, are you feeling a bit indignant and refuse to accept that life is permanently off track, but not quite sure how to get it rolling in the right direction?  

I know I can help!  

Helping women answer the question what’s next is my passion and purpose. 

If YOU want to create a brighter future, reach out to me!  I will send you my calendar link to schedule a chat.  

Here’s to honoring dreams and the grit to create a fabulous life forward!

~Tiffany {aka Anna Belle Lee}

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Sober October

Tiffany Eckhardt shares her experience with Sober October, a journey of self discovery.

No one challenged me to Sober October.  

I thought I made it up, until my son told me that comedians do Sober October every year to prove they aren’t alcoholics.  

I really enjoy a good glass of wine, especially at my favorite winery Busted Oaks Cellars, and love mixing an old fashion as much as I love making my morning pour over coffee.  

For me, Sober October isn’t about giving up these simple pleasures in life permanently.

Why Sober October?

I am not an alcoholic.  I don’t wake up in the morning thinking about getting drunk, but I habitually have a couple glasses of wine or an old fashion at the end of each day.  

If it’s not a problem, why would I do this? 

The past few months I’ve wondered if my alcohol consumption had something to do with my weight fluctuations and saw Sober October as a journey of self discovery.  

What could learn about myself if I was sober for a month? 

It was a big experiment for me.

What did I learn?

After a few awkward social situations, I decided I was not required to explain myself.  When asked why I was committed to Sober October, I just replied that I wanted to see what I was capable of.  

Turns out I can have fun without being tipsy.  

Most importantly, I learned that I can handle very uncomfortable emotions without the crutch of alcohol.  I don’t need to reach for a cocktail to relax, forget the day or cover up loneliness and sadness.  

I don’t give up.  Trust me, I had a very difficult past two weeks.  I could have easily given up.  

Best part… I lost 7 pounds and an inch from my waist and hips.  Yes, alcohol has some affect on my weight fluctuations.  

What now?

The point of Sober October was not to eliminate alcohol.  Let’s be honest.  It was never about the alcohol.  

This month gave me evidence that I am capable of way more than I give myself credit for.  

I am disciplined and now have the confidence that I can do anything I set my mind to do.  

I am so proud of myself.  THAT IS PRICELESS!!!

What would you like to learn about yourself?  

You may not have a desire to take a break with alcohol, but I’m willing to bet that you have one area of your life you would like to get a handle on.  

Do you want to go on a journey of self discovery to learn what you are capable of? 

What would life be like if you didn’t struggle with that one thing?

I invite you to schedule a chat with me.  I am confident that I can help you stop wasting time with habitual struggles and help you see that you are capable of more than you imagine.  

When you are ready, let’s chat!

Here’s to learning what you are capable of!

~Tiffany

And the birds flutter around her writing “YES” in the sky

The Daily “Fresh Hell”

Fresh hell

After a month of chatting about FUN, I want to go out on a limb with a conversation about the “fresh hell” we’ve been living through.

Yep, let’s get real.  

The past few years have felt like a roller coaster ride of emotions, leaving most clinging to hopium {that is hope-ium – a new term}. 

Are you wondering, will life will ever have a sense of normalcy?  When will this ride be over?   

Your life on hold

If you are anything like me, you love to dream and to invest in the future, but you’re so distracted by the daily dose of “fresh hell” coming from the powers that be {whoever that is}.  

There are tasks on your to-do list, but scrolling through social media for the latest news halts progress.  

Are you tip-toeing the balance between the need to be informed and the desire to bury your head in the sand?  

It’s exhausting!  Are we ok with all of this????

The daily barrage of “fresh hell” grates on the nerves, is frustrating and feels out of control.

Are you putting your dreams on hold, and at times even think why bother?

It’s hell

I see so much suffering, including my own version of misery.  Since March 2020 I have lost friends, dealt with the possibility of a lost job, and find it difficult to talk to my family about real concerns, etc. 

There hasn’t been an authentic conversation around some people since the “fresh hell” became taboo, even criminal.

The women I know just want the opportunity to talk about this bizarre time in history, to share their “fresh hell” of the day.  

Lucky for me I have learned skills to work through the chaos and have support when I find myself going in circles.  

I want to offer hope…

There is a way forward to not only cope, but to thrive in this messy world.

I’ve managed it!  

No, you won’t be able to change the polarizing landscape of today’s world, but you can create a pathway forward.  

How can I serve you?

I don’t assume to know what you need.  

Maybe you just need someone to talk to, or could use a comforting recipe, an essential oil or herbal remedy.  I have developed a million journal prompts that could be helpful.    

It’s possible that all you need is a break from the “fresh hell” and add more spice to your life.

It would definitely help to connect with kindreds!   

I’m here to serve!  

Let me know what you are struggling with!  Comment on the blog, on my social media posts, DM me or even schedule a chat with me.  

I have set up a special calendar link for this topic, Thriving Through The Daily Fresh Hell.  Simply pick a date/time that works for you.  

The beginning

It is human nature to want to live with purpose and meaning. 

This could be the beginning of a beautiful conversation and a point of discovery.  Let’s answer the daily dose of “fresh hell” with resiliency.  

Want to link arms?

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

The song hit a chord

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping you find meaning and purpose to midlife.

The other day I was riding down the road in my pick-up truck Miss Dixie, with windows wide open {cuz it’s fall ya’ll}, blasting Gavin Degraw on the radio.  Dang!  The song I Don’t Want To Be hit a chord.  

“I don’t have to be anyone other than the birth of two souls in one.  Part of where I’m going is knowing where I’m coming from.”  

Now what?

The need for purpose isn’t necessarily a crisis, but probably feels more like a nagging. Now what?

There were times when I was raising my children that I thought, oh my God… when will I ever have time for myself? 

Now that I have all the time in the world, I often miss my kids. BTW: Adult kiddos are so much fun!

Wether you’re an empty nester, newly retired or recently divorced, the question of now what can tug at your heart.  

Not superficial, but profound!  

One of my clients commented to me that she was tired of being superficial.  Me too!

If you embrace the typical midlife crisis, you might fill the void with a brand new sporty car… anything to feel young with an exciting future ahead of you.

Instead acting superficial, what if you had a profound shift in how you view all this free time? Could this time be a gift?

The birth of two souls

It’s easy to look to the past for identity. It’s clear where you’ve been, but do you know where you want to go or who you want to BE?

What if getting to know yourself is more exciting than a brand new sporty car?  

Maybe you just need to crank up Gavin Degraw for inspiration!

“I don’t want to be anything other than me.”

It is fun!

Creating a profound shift could feel heavy… but I promise it is fun!  

I like to say my empty nest is not boring, because I am in it!

You are NOT boring!

Find out what you like. 

Discover what excites you. 

Decide what really matters to you.

Is this hitting a cord?  

Last month I focused on fun… finding your inner artist, taking yourself on a date, getting on the dance floor, and being zesty.  

I hope it all hit a chord.  

These articles were designed to help you live midlife with meaning and purpose, and see this season as a gift to get to know yourself… what you like to do for fun.  

If loneliness or boredom is nagging at you, I can help.   

I invite you to schedule a chat with me.  This is an opportunity for you to share what is nagging at you and preventing you from living a life of purpose.     

Simply click my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you.  

Here’s to riding down the road, windows wide open and blasting a song that hits all the right cords!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

Got zest?

Zest adds flavor to life!  

Are you zesty?  

“A seasoned woman is spicy,” Gail Sheehy

This isn’t the first time I’ve written about zest.  I have always promoted the need to have something zesty to look forward to.

The past few weeks I’ve focused on your creativity, taking yourself on a date and getting on the dance floor.  

I hope you saw yourself in these posts and are ready to add zest to your life!

Something zesty to look forward to.  

“The quality of life is in proportion, always, to the capacity for delight.”  Julia Cameron

It is difficult to have capacity for delight when you live in the land of regret.  If you are always looking to the past, it’s hard to see a zesty future.    

To stop dwelling in the past, first learn to delight in the present by taking time to be grateful for all the good that you’ve created in your life.  

And then look to an exciting future by intentionally planning something zesty to look forward to. This excercise creates more of what you love.  

Our need for zest

Midlife is the perfect opportunity to be intentional about your need for zest.  

As a midlife woman, it’s time to unleash your spice.  It’s time to defy the rules and expectations you’ve followed and start doing more of what delights you.  

Working towards a dream or goal, planning a vacation or even planning a garden gives meaning to your life and creates excitement.  

Stay open to opportunities for zest

Do you have a list of zesty things to look forward to?   

Here’s a great place to start…  

Create a list 20 things you like to do.  Don’t overthink it or worry if you can’t come up with 20.  Once you are open to what delights you, more ideas will flow.  

Pick one item and describe how you will feel when you are planning it and doing it.  

Does it feel zesty and add spice to your life???  

The key is to stay open to opportunities for zest.  

Zest zappers

There are bound to be zest zappers in your life.  

You may not even be aware of how you are zapping your zest.  

Do you worry that it’s too late? Does focusing on yourself seem selfish?

Maybe you just need help believing you are capable of creating a zesty life.  

I’d love to help you tackle the blocks preventing you from moving forward toward a life that excites you.  

I invite you to schedule a free consultation.  Let’s chat about what seems to be in the way of you experiencing the freedom and fullness of midlife.  I am confident that I can help you add zest to your life!

Simply click HERE to pick a date/time that works for you.

Here’s to becoming a seasoned women with something zesty to look forward to!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

Get on the dance floor!

Does life sometimes feel similar to attending a high school dance as the wallflower watching your friends enjoying the dance floor?  

I’m not trying to be dramatic, but it has taken me fifty years to realize that life is not a popularity contest.  

You can choose to get off the wall and dance.  In fact, enjoying life is a priceless gift you owe yourself.  

My proverbial dance floor

Recently I was invited to share my expertise as a speaker for the Empowered Woman’s Summit hosted by Jillian McGill.  

This was my chance to get off the wall and dance.  

At one time, I might have turned down the invitation because I was scared to speak in front of strangers or didn’t feel ready.  

This time I accepted the invitation, choosing to believe it would be fun.  The whole experience turned out to be SO fun!!!

Your invitation to dance!

Thanks to Jillian’s generosity, I am able to share my session of the Empowered Woman’s Summit with you. 

Enjoy your personal invitation to get your booty on the dance floor!  

In this video I teach from the Four Stages of Reinvention Journal I recently published on Amazon.  You can get your copy of it by clicking HERE.

It is my intention to help you dance through what ever stage of change you find yourself, and and empower you to step into what ever you’ve always wanted to do.  

Enjoy! ⤵️

Dig deeper

It sucks that trying something new hasn’t gotten easier since high school!  

Midlife is the perfect time for you to stop being the wall flower and dance!  

I’d like to invite you to dig deeper into reinvention.  

In addition to The Four Stages Of Reinvention, I also offer a free guide mentioned in the video. Click here to get your Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS.

Let’s fill the dance floor

Can you see yourself on the dance floor?  

If you long to get out where the disco ball is spinning, but you just can’t seem to get past the fear, I’d love to help!

I invite you to schedule a free consultation by simply clicking on my calendar link and picking a date and time that works for you.  

Together we can get you to step onto the dance floor!

Here’s to being the Belle of the Ball! 

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

Riding solo?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach, helping women rise above their midlife BS.

My empty nest is NOT boring, because I am in it.  Although, there are times when I just need to get out of the nest and explore. And I don’t mind riding solo!  

Inspired by The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, I took myself on a date this week.  The idea is take time to nurture the creative spirit within and to allow playful inflow.

“As artists {I’ll add midlife women} we must learn to be self-nourishing.  We must become alert enough to consciously replenish our creative resources as we draw on them – to restock the trout pond, so to speak.  I call this process filling the well.”  Julia Cameron

My date

For me, replenishing my creativity requires a drive in the country to The Antique Rose Emporium.  As I drove the pastoral countryside, I had to remind myself it was time to shut down the thoughts about the chaotic world and get caught up in the moment.  So, I cranked up the radio and sang at the top of my lungs.  I can only get away with that volume riding solo.  

Even if I visit the Antique Rose Emporium’s magic gardens a hundred times and see something that I’ve never seen before.  I walk around shooting pictures and wondering how the gardeners created the spaces.  I always leave with a renewed enthusiasm for my garden and a sense of peace with the world…. And on this trip $100 worth of new plants!

How does the idea sit with you?

The idea of going on a date alone is somewhat intimidating.  

Being alone, or lonely, is a very scary thing for midlife women experiencing an empty nest and trying to figure out their purpose in this season.  

On the flip side… 

What if having the ability to sit alone at a restaurant and enjoy a meal is actually empowering?

How does the idea sit with you?

Community 

I’m not suggesting that you don’t need family and friends.

There is plenty of evidence that community is basic to our happiness.  Out of the six basic human needs; Significance, Love/Connection and Contribution require community.  

What I am offering is the benefit of being able to entertain, nurture and restore yourself.  Once you learn this skill, boredom and loneliness loose their power over you.  

Could it be fun? 

Coming up with ideas for weekly dates can be just as creative as the date itself.  Here are a few of mine….  A trip to a junk store, drive in the country, try out the new coffee shop, roller skating, a bike ride, etc.  

Are you waiting for your partner to have the time to get out of dodge? What about taking a solo trip somewhere on your bucket list?  

What have you been putting off because you don’t want to do it alone?  Maybe you are the perfect date for the occasion?  

Need a little nudge out of the nest?

You might agree that taking yourself on a date could be empowering, but your mind is working overtime to warn you of all the reasons it’s a horrible idea.  

Being lonely sucks, but at least it is familiar.  

I’d love to help you discover your inner shenanigans and the wings to rise above the resistance.  

You might just discover that you enjoy your own company just as much as you enjoy your family and friends.  

Schedule a free consultation by clicking on my calendar link and choosing a date/time that works for you.  This is an opportunity for you to ask me all the questions you have about hiring a life coach and a chance for you to talk through an issue that you are struggling with.  

Here’s to getting behind the wheel, blasting the music, singing at the top of your lungs… or whatever you need to do to fill the well!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

A midlife artist?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping women rise above midlife BS.

“Every child is an artist.  The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”  Pablo Picasso

Jeff and I were grocery shopping when I found myself in the office supplies isle looking at art supplies.  Jeff wondered what the heck I was doing buying paints and brushes.  I am not usually the arts and crafts type.  

A few days prior I was listening to Tonia Jenny teach on the Circle Of Now and was inspired to try my hand at water colors.  Watching beauty emerge from her page looked fun.

I literally have no idea what I am doing.  It feels playful.  The goal isn’t to become an artist, but to connect with something inside that obviously has been neglected.  

Taking the artist on a date  

You are going to think I’m making shit up.  Art seems to be wooing me.  

I happened to be looking at books at The Good Will store {always looking for herbal and gardening books}, when I came across the book The Artists Way by Julia Cameron.  

It is a book that has been repeatedly recommended to me.  So, I bought it for 99 cents.  

The Artist Way hooked me in the first two chapters.  First of all the author recommends journaling, which she calls the morning pages, and then suggests taking your art for a date.  

Brilliant!  

I love the idea of scheduling fun!  

Boredom

Is it time to stop taking life so serious?

This might be the reason you feel stuck, unable to move forward.

Many of my clients think there is something seriously wrong, when the real issue is boredom.  

Somewhere along the way have you lost touch with creativity.

When the student is ready…  

I want to encourage you to get curious.  

As I wandered through Goodwill, the book appeared to me.  This could be your journey too!  

Be open to what moves you.  

Answers to life appear when you try something new just for the fun of it.

One of my clients signed up for banjo lessons.  BTW:  I am super jealous.  I love the banjo!  

Who wants to sign up for art lessons with me????

Let’s connect

Seriously, let’s not be so serious.  

I’d love to learn how you are connecting with creativity by leaving a comment!

What have you always wanted to try just for you?   

Will you take your art for a date????

If this is resonating with you, but you still feel stuck, I invite you to schedule a consultation. Simply click on my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you!

Here’s to the emerging artists in us all!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Does beating myself up work?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping midlife women rise about their BS.

Does beating myself up work?  

Here I go again, beating myself up about a recent weight gain.  

I am disappointed, but the way I treat myself is ridiculous.  

It hit me that I subconsciously think feeling horrible about myself is the solution.  

As if a good scolding will put a fire under my butt.  

This mindset is similar to thinking hangovers will stop me from drinking wine again.  

Has it ever worked?

It sucks that creating positive change never get easier.   

Beating myself up with regret 

Copious amount of regret or remorse will not produce the energy needed to change course.

First, let me remind you to NOT beat yourself up for having lower energy thoughts and feelings.

They are there to teach you something.  Take a moment to acknowledge them and notice what the feelings produce.  

For me, regret feels heavy and defeated.  The feeling causes me to avoid exercise, wear big flowing dresses to hide, increase self depredating trash talk, and/or buffer with a bottle of wine, which creates even more regret.    

If feeling horrible about yourself won’t motivate you, then what will?  

Only a strong reason will motivate you to walk through any discomfort for change.  

Why do you dream of any accomplishment or destination?

You long for a feeling that you don’t currently have.  

Your “why” is linked to a feeling you desire.    

Radiant

How do you want to feel?  

There’s a symphony of emotions available to you at any given time.  I’d be happy to email you a two page list of emotions.  

So, I asked myself how will I feel when I reach my ideal weight?

Beautiful.  Worthy.  Strong.  Confident.  Capable.  Smart.  Blissful.  Carefree.  Ecstatic.  Energetic.  Energized.  Exhilarated.  Focused.  Free.  Gleeful.  Healthy.  Jubilant.  Liberated.  Natural.  Playful.  Radiant.  Rapturous.  Relaxed.  Self-affirming.  Tenacious.  Vigorous.  Youthful.

Is it possible to experience that feeling now?  YES!  

Today as I walked to the post office I practiced thinking I am radiant, which made me walk a little taller and put a smile on my face.  There is a big energetic difference between regret and radiant.  I felt it.  

Journal it

Do you want to know what you really think about yourself?  Carry a notebook for twenty four hours to jot down every thought you have about yourself.  

Before you start estimate a ratio of bad thoughts.  Do you think it will be twenty percent or eighty?  

At the end of your experiment, take a hard look at how you are treating yourself.  

Is this how you want to think and feel?  

If not, make a list of how you want to feel.  What will you need to believe?

I can help

It sucks to discover how ridiculous you are treating yourself and realize that beating yourself up never works.

My free guide Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS is a great start.  There are excellent journal prompts and practices to get you to question your BS beliefs and create ones that better serve you.  

I also offer a free consultation.  Ever wondered why midlife women hire a life coach?  Is it a good fit for you?  I invite you to hop onto a call with me to get your questions answered.

I know I can help!  I’m seeing results in my own life and the lives of my clients.  

Simply click on my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you!  

Here’s to feeling radiant and ditching regret!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky