What is keeping you stuck

Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach, helping women make it through midlife without a crisis.  In this blog, she talks about not being a pansy, but a dandelion.

I’ve been journaling about my inability to get in shape.  Well, you can’t actually get in shape if you are avoiding exercise and having too many cocktails.  What is keeping me stuck?

I vacillate between dreading the workouts and loathing myself for not doing the workouts, two sides of the same coin… shame.  

Thoughts are self-fulling prophesies.  Somewhere along the way I had a thought that this should be easy.  

When it is not easy, it becomes easier to to avoid, to retreat from my goals and to give up.

I’m not a pansy.  I’m a dandelion.

The thought that I am not a pansy… I am a dandelion will kick my butt back in shape.  

Feel free to use the thought too, especially if you feel stuck.  

You have done hard things, so have I.  

Pansies represent loving feelings, but as a delicate flower has a reputation for weakness.  

Dandelions are determined and can grow anywhere in any condition.  Although this flower is considered a weed, it has been used to symbolize light, hope, and healing for centuries. Blowing on dandelion puffs feels playful, offering a hint of longevity as the seeds of hope are spread on the wind.

Can you see yourself as a dandelion?

Do you feel determined to become the woman you can admire, or are you avoiding the desires of your heart because you think it should be easier?  

I am going on record.  I’m officially ditching the narrative that it should be easier and embracing the discomfort of getting back in shape.  I value longevity and wellness, standing strong and being proud of how I show up for life.  I am worth the effort… and so are you!

Let’s cheer each other on!

You are not a delicate flower and can do hard things too! 

You’re a dandelion, the underdog of humble strength that offers abundant hope.  

If this resonates with you, let’s cheer each other on.  I’d love to hear about your journey.  

However, if you are vacillating between dread and loathing yourself, I can help you!  My clients are experiencing success in becoming the hero of their own story.  It helps to have someone listen to your story and help you see where you are stuck, and then get you on the road to creating the life YOU really want.  

I invite you to schedule a consultation… a chat to see if working with me is a good fit for your journey.  Simply reach out to me or use my calendar link to pick a time/date that works for you.  

Here’s to becoming a strong, determined dandelion.  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

Choose Yourself

Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach and master of reinvention... want you to learn to choose you in midlife!

How often do you choose yourself? A common theme with the women I coach is learning to make yourself a priority in midlife. Some clients are learning to take back their time, while others are making this their time to shine.  

Choosing yourself is about finding significance in the opinion you hold of yourself.  ~Tiffany

Significance is not selfish, it’s one of the eight basic human needs.  I promise developing a healthy opinion does not make you a narcissist.

The real problem is people expect their needs to be met by others, wether the need is solving loneliness, feeling heard or finding purpose.  

So, it is not surprising when you find yourself disappointed with people or circumstances, especially when they are not meeting your needs.   

Choosing me is hard

I hate inconveniencing others and tend to project my feelings or expectations onto others.  

When I make decisions based on how it will affect the people around me, even when it is not in my best interest, I then tend to expect others to consider how their decisions will affect me.  

As I regularly preach, other people are not thinking of you.  They are busy meeting their own needs… a vicious cycle that is broken when you learn to meet your own needs, to choose yourself.  

A priority

After a recent fight with my husband, that revolved around making plans without discussing it first, this thought hit me like a ton of bricks.

How can I feel like a priority when the opinion I hold of myself is squat.

The fear of being unlovable or unworthy is very common, and not surprising that I caught myself in this pattern of belief.  I was making the plans my husband made mean I was not a priority, which was not what he meant at all.

Had I realized that I was triggered by the thought I was not a priority, I might have approached the topic completely different.  

Find freedom

It is my intention for you to believe that your best years are ahead and midlife is a precious gift, a time to find your significance in your own opinion.  

If you have a healthy self worth, good for you!  We need more people like you in the world.  By valuing yourself, you walk in freedom and no one has to live up to your expectations.

However, if you struggle with significance like I do, there is freedom for you too. 

Start acknowledging when you’re looking to outside influences to gain the value you seek.  

Learn to speak up for yourself.  

Believe your time is valuable.  

See your gifts are priceless.  

Start to choose yourself.  

I can help you traverse the web of thoughts ingrained in your opinion of yourself and create new ones that will empower you to move forward into an exciting, fun future.  

I invite you to schedule a free consultation.  Let’s chat about how working with me will help you create a healthy opinion of yourself.  I want to learn where you are at, and where you’d like to be in life.  

Here’s to finding significance in the opinion you hold of yourself!  And choosing to believe in your worth!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Opportunities for resiliency

Have you ever felt rode hard and put up wet?  That feeling is a clear sign that it is time to check-in, take stock and evaluate what you want to create for yourself and acknowledge the opportunity for resiliency.  

This morning I woke up with achey legs and feeling acidic.  My health and wellness is suffering from months under the pressure of planning a wedding, which by the way turned out perfect.  I skipped yoga and indulged in evening cocktails as I tried to turn off the constant to-do list in my head.

As I clean up the wedding whirlwind and a fun-filled week with my grandkids, thoughts of resiliency pop in my head.  

I feel exhausted, but it is time to focus on the life I want and who I want to be.  

Here are my random thoughts on resiliency.  

Messes clean up.

Weight gained can be lost.  

Hearts mend.  

The human body bounces back to wellness if taken care of.  

Kids will grow up, get married and have kiddos… and I continue to thrive (when I choose to).

Opportunities for resilience

Being aware of your resiliency is empowering.  

I am run down, out of shape and gained belly fat in the process, but I will not to hang out in self deprivation.  

This is just another opportunity to prove that I am resilient and can become a better version of me in the process.  

Opportunities for you to prove your resiliency exist too.  

Focus on the future

A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step, or in this case a thought.  

Start developing a dream of what you want for your life and how you want to show up.  

Start dreaming with the innocence of a five year old, but with the inner strength of the woman you will become five years in the future.  

Decide what you want to believe about yourself.  

Don’t be shy about asking for help!

It is my intention that you believe your best years are ahead.  I help women discover they are resilient and create the life they really want.  

I’d love to help you navigate your opportunities for resiliency.  

Reach out to me!  I offer a free consultation.  Simply click on my calendar link and choose a date and time that works for you.  

Don’t waste any more precious time stuck!  You are more resilient that you realize.  

And you don’t have to feel alone. It always helps to talk through your opportunity for resiliency with someone who is great at listening and can ask the right questions. 

Here’s to being resilient and thriving!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

What is possible

Do you know what is possible?  Who taught you? 

On December 17th 2019 I recorded a Facebook Live that showed up in my memories this week.  Watching this video reminded me that it was Mister Rogers who taught me to believe in possibilities.

Read all the way to the end to learn how committed I am to YOUR possibilities!

His influence on possibilities

Jeff and I had just went to see the long awaited movie A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood.  I have fond memories of watching Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood as a child and was looking forward to learning more about the man.  

I took for granted the role Mister Rogers had in my formative years.  He taught children that they were in control of their thoughts and feelings, and that anything is possible.  

I have always believed in my capacity of creating life on my own terms.  Maybe Mister Rogers put that thought into my head.  

In my blog article, His influence on possibilities, I wondered what I once believed possible as a child.  What did YOU believe was possible as a child?

What if you dared to dream with the innocence of a five year old, AND with the inner strength of the woman you’ve become?

Don’t give up

Mister Rogers never gave up on his personal quest to help children believe in the importance of their thoughts and feelings.  

“It would not be easy, No – for in order to win such a battle, he would have to forbid himself the privilege of stopping, and whatever he did right he would have to repeat, as though were already living in eternity.”  Tom Junod

What will YOU believe is possible for 2022 if you don’t give up? 

We are all connected

“The connections we make in the course of a life—maybe that’s what heaven is, Tom. We make so many connections here on earth. Look at us—I’ve just met you, but I’m investing in who you are and who you will be, and I can’t help it.”  Mister Rogers

I’m so glad we are connected.  I want to take this opportunity to thank YOU for following my journey for the past two years.  I hope you have been inspired along the way to believe in your potential.  

If YOU are new to Flown The Coop…WELCOME! 

My heart is in serving YOU in 2022!  Like Mr. Rogers…I’m investing in who you are and who you will be, and I can’t help it.

To celebrate Christmas I am giving 10 women a copy of my journal, Four Stages of Reinvention with four free coaching sessions.  I want YOU to start 2022 believing in your possibilities.  

The first 10 women to email me their address with the subject line “I believe in possibilities” will get their copy in the mail the first week of January.  eckhardt.tiffany@gmail.com  

Here’s to truly believing in possibilities!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

Midlife… the badass ride

Tiffany Eckhardt is crazy enough to believe her best years are ahead and wants YOU to BE crazy too!  Midlife is the badass ride.

Could midlife reflect the feeling of the badass ride captured in the 2011 Harley Davidson commercial?  It’s one of the best ads ever!

The commercial embodies the feeling of riding down the road with the wind in your hair and freedom deep in your soul.  

It could also reflect a midlife woman who no longer buys what the world is selling when it comes to her life.  She’s tired of playing it safe, following the rules and is ready for an adventure.  

This midlife woman believes that life is what she makes of it, and its time to make it one hell of a ride!  

Take a listen to the commercial…. 

So what does this midlife woman believe?

Imagine the sound of rumbling pipes and the feeling of adventure flowing through you as you read the declarations of this badass woman….

She is crazy enough to believe the best years are ahead, and that goddesses never age.

Age is just a number, and if you rest you rust.

As the magic maker for her family and community, she is ready to create some magic for herself.

This gal has FINALLY ditched the box society puts her in.

Understanding her worth, she no longer participates in the popularity contest.    

No longer the wallflower, she is ready to dance!  

Can you believe it?

Could you be this midlife woman?

What does it feel like to BE her?

Does if feel bold?  How about confident?  What about free?  

All of that is possible for you.  Can you believe it?  

This could be your year!

Are you ready to join a growing number of women who are choosing to create a world that embraces the season of midlife and beyond?  

The sky is the limit!  Does your heart race when you think of all that is possible? 

If you long to BE her, but can’t quite ditch all the baggage that you packed over the years? I can help!  

I want you to truly believe midlife is a gift, and that your best years are ahead!  

I’d love to have a chat with you!  Let’s hop on a call and find out where you are, where you want to be and how to get you there!  

It’s time to fly free!  Let’s find out what’s on the other side of the hill. Here’s to one hell of a ride!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!  

Making way for new adventures

Tiffany Eckhardt, helping you make way for new adventures in 2022

Make way for new adventures

At the time of this writing, there are only five weeks left in 2021.  Wow!  I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to put this year behind and make way for new adventures.

I’m the weirdo who delights in dreaming about the future, picking a word or a phrase for the year, creating vision boards and mind movies.  December is the month I usually focus on the next year.  

This year I’m taking a slightly different approach.  

Instead of focusing on the what (material gain or achievement), I’m figuring out the why (that which makes me feel alive).  

Will 2022 be the year you start living with purpose and make way for new adventures?

Think beyond the material 

Do you know what you want for 2022? 

The experts agree, people typically use only ten percent of their potential.  My theory is that most people don’t reach their potential because they are not in touch with what truly makes them feel alive.  

“Most of us can be found flying too close to the ground.  Too often we don’t give ourselves permission to soar.”  ~Price Pritchett

Think beyond what you want materially and dare to declare what you want to be known for.  

For example, I decided a couple years ago that I wanted to be known for uncommon energy.  That declaration paved the way for me to do far more than I once thought possible.  I never thought of myself as a public speaker, until I delivered a Veteran’s Day message in front of hundreds of people.  Turns out that it wasn’t as scary as I built it up to be in my mind.  

In the book YOU2, Price Pritchett suggests it is time to start focusing on possibilities, rather than on limits.    

Clean out

To embark on this new adventure, start by cleaning out what no longer serves you.  

It is easy to identify items that could be discarded or donated, like clothing or junk in a drawer.  So, start there. 

My favorite clothing hack:  I turn all the hangers in my closet backwards at the change of each season.  What I wear goes back into the closet facing the right direction.  What remains hanging backwards is discarded, usually donated to charity.  

The not so obvious place to explore are the habits, thoughts and emotions that no longer server you.  

While cleaning out physical items gives you a clean slate to start the year, cleaning out emotional baggage can set you free to soar beyond your wildest dreams.  

Some thoughts to break free from:  I’m too old to loose weight.  I hate hangovers, but have no power to stop my nightly habit of winding down after a long day.  The life I want is out of my league.  It is selfish to invest in myself.  Any of these thoughts ring a bell? 

Most of the thoughts I helped my clients discard in 2021 had them feeling broken, lonely and defeated for years.  

What if you could leave all that behind in 2021?

Questions are the answers

Researches have found that when posed a question, your brain automatically searches for the answer to the question.  

Interestingly, most people are programmed to think of all the reasons something won’t work.  So, dismiss those reasons and explore your inner longings for 2022 by asking yourself really good questions.  

Here are a few questions to activate your brain. 

What new things will I say yes to this year?  What am I drawn to?

Will I schedule fun into my daily life?  What do I consider fun?  

When do I feel most alive?  How do I incorporate that in my life in 2022?  

Can I identify five silly things I would like to try once?

Now try coming up with a few of your own questions.

Life is the greatest adventure 

“There is the risk you cannot afford to take, {and} there is the risk you cannot afford not to take.”  ~ Peter Drucker

What is tugging at your heart as you start to think beyond 2021?  

The best gift you can give yourself this holiday season is permission to soar.  

If you want to make room for adventures, but afraid to take the risk, I can help.  I’ve been in your shoes and would love to share what I’ve learned.  I’m a great listener and can help you find what keeps you stuck.  

I invite you to schedule a chat with me.  Simply reach out and I will send you a link to my calendar.  

Here’s to starting 2022 with a clean slate and ready to embark on new adventures!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” In the sky!

A time to gather

A time to gather!  Americans are barreling into the holiday season with Thanksgiving, a special day to gather the family around the dinner table to give thanks.  

Holidays can be a lot of fun with adult children, but can also be tricky as siblings scatter in pursuit of their dreams.  

It’s not always possible to gather everyone around the table each year, which can be heavy on the hearts of midlife moms.  

A smaller gathering

You may think that the holidays will never be the same after the kids have flown the coop. 

That thought probably makes you a little sad and lonely. Me too!

When your heart feels sad, you’re less likely to put effort into the holiday.  You don’t feel like cooking a big dinner.  The decorations don’t come out.  Traditions are ditched.  

Of course the holidays won’t be the same, especially if you don’t have the same energy for them.  

Gratitude

This year I will celebrate Thanksgiving without my extended family.  We will see my family and our daughter’s family between Christmas and New Years.  

Of course I’ll be sad without my family around the table.   

After I allow myself a good cry, I will remember that I can create just as much magic for myself as I once did for my kids.  I am worth the effort.  

Giving yourself permission to create the magic for yourself is empowering and fills the season with meaning again.  

Although the holidays are definitely different, you can truly be grateful for the gift of midlife by acknowledging the time you now have to pursue what makes you feel alive.   

Enchanting 

What if you had another way to look at the holidays?  

It took me a long time to fall in love with the holidays again.

After years of trying to navigate the holidays with an aching heart, I’ve put together five tips to help you recapture the Christmas magic!

My free Midlife Mom’s Guide to Recapturing Christmas Magic will help you believe the holidays can be enchanting in any season of life.   

You don’t need to spend too much time feeling sad or lonely.  I’d love to send you a copy today.  Simply message me or email me a request.  I will forward you the pdf version of the guide.  eckhardt.tiffany@gmail.com 

As always, I invite you to schedule a chat with me. I can help you create magic for your holiday season!

Happy Thanksgiving!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.   

Saying NO to notions

Midlife is a good time to reevaluate what you have thought is true about life, and possibly say no to your notions.

What is something you believed in your 30’s that you no longer believe? 

Asking for a friend

I had fun asking my friends on Facebook to share beliefs they once had in our 30’s

Here are a few that I love:

60 is old.

My jeans had to be a certain size.

It’s not possible to train for a marathon at my age.

I had to be the peace maker.

People who had a lot of money had no problems.

What are yours?

I’m convinced that we all have notions that we might be ready to ditch.

Midlife is the perfect time to break free and truly live!

What are notions that you no longer believe?

OH… and while we are asking… where the heck did these notions come from?  Who makes up the rules anyway?  

It’s so fascinating to think about, but maybe it never occurred to you to reevaluate what you believe. 

Let me encourage you to get curious about some of your notions that may need to be ditched.  

Question everything

I think everything is up for questioning. 

Do you have to be a certain size to be happy?  

What age is too old?  

Why not train to run a marathon at 50?  

Your answers could be a clue to how your second half of life will go.  

Are you ready to ditch the notions you once believed?  If you can, life has endless possibilities!  

Need help?

Some notions you no longer believe could be due to hardships and unexpected twists in the road.  Even when life does not go as planned, I’ve seen resiliency that truly inspires me.  

It is never too late to create new notions, see life with new possibilities.  

You might recognize some notions, but are not convinced you could move past them.  

I am confident that I can help you say yes to life.  It is time to discover what your notion of fun is, what matters most to you and to fall in love with life.  

Most of all I’d love to help you define life on your terms.  

I invite you to take the first step by scheduling a chat with me.  I can send you my calendar link.  It is simple to pick a date/time that works for you.  

Here’s to embracing new notions!

~Tiffany Eckhardt

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

What the hell happened?

Tiffany Eckhardt, helping women make it through midlife without a crisis.  Instead of asking what the hell happened, she helps you answer what's next.

The Facebook post read… Have you ever stopped, looked around and say, “What the hell happened to my life?”

Several people responded… all the damn time.  

Reading between the lines, I felt a sense of resignation from the people who responded.

Gauging from the responses, a high percentage of people feel the same way.  Life has gotten off track, but is it the end of the line?

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”  Albert Einstein 

Whom have you become?  

When I was a little girl I informed my mother that my name is Anna Belle Lee, and that I would not answer to anything else.  

I had endless dreams and no doubt I could be anything I wanted.  

That little girl has been knocked down a bit over the years and her dreams tarnished with past failures and disappointments.  

Yet, I still believe with my whole heart I can BE anything I want to BE.  I refuse to stop dreaming.  

What’s next?

This is your life, are you who you want to BE?

How can you tap into the possibilities that you once dreamed of as a child?

This year I have revisited the things I enjoyed in my youth, like roller skating.  It feels playful.  Solutions to life’s struggles always come when I’m relaxed and carefree.  

Instead of asking what happened, I started asking what’s next and became curious about what lights me up.

Make a list of things that you once loved and do one.  Then try another.  

Dream with the imagination of a little girl not entangled with the past, and then ask what’s next.

What is in your way?

It’s fun to dream.  So, what’s in your way?  Why aren’t you allowing yourself to dream as you once did as a child?

The gap between asking what happened and what’s next might be a fear of change.  

Do you feel resistant to change?  Why is it so scary?  

Are you afraid of disappointing yourself?  

Do you fear what’s next will be more of the same?  

Don’t be afraid to acknowledge the real questions nagging at you.  

It’s hard to have the energy to create a bright future when you are preoccupied with the fear.

Wouldn’t you rather live with the curiosity of a child?  It is possible to bridge the gap and learn to embrace change.  

Back on track  

After a lifetime of being knocked off track, you might not be convinced that creating new tracks is actually possible. 

Or, are you feeling a bit indignant and refuse to accept that life is permanently off track, but not quite sure how to get it rolling in the right direction?  

I know I can help!  

Helping women answer the question what’s next is my passion and purpose. 

If YOU want to create a brighter future, reach out to me!  I will send you my calendar link to schedule a chat.  

Here’s to honoring dreams and the grit to create a fabulous life forward!

~Tiffany {aka Anna Belle Lee}

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Sober October

Tiffany Eckhardt shares her experience with Sober October, a journey of self discovery.

No one challenged me to Sober October.  

I thought I made it up, until my son told me that comedians do Sober October every year to prove they aren’t alcoholics.  

I really enjoy a good glass of wine, especially at my favorite winery Busted Oaks Cellars, and love mixing an old fashion as much as I love making my morning pour over coffee.  

For me, Sober October isn’t about giving up these simple pleasures in life permanently.

Why Sober October?

I am not an alcoholic.  I don’t wake up in the morning thinking about getting drunk, but I habitually have a couple glasses of wine or an old fashion at the end of each day.  

If it’s not a problem, why would I do this? 

The past few months I’ve wondered if my alcohol consumption had something to do with my weight fluctuations and saw Sober October as a journey of self discovery.  

What could learn about myself if I was sober for a month? 

It was a big experiment for me.

What did I learn?

After a few awkward social situations, I decided I was not required to explain myself.  When asked why I was committed to Sober October, I just replied that I wanted to see what I was capable of.  

Turns out I can have fun without being tipsy.  

Most importantly, I learned that I can handle very uncomfortable emotions without the crutch of alcohol.  I don’t need to reach for a cocktail to relax, forget the day or cover up loneliness and sadness.  

I don’t give up.  Trust me, I had a very difficult past two weeks.  I could have easily given up.  

Best part… I lost 7 pounds and an inch from my waist and hips.  Yes, alcohol has some affect on my weight fluctuations.  

What now?

The point of Sober October was not to eliminate alcohol.  Let’s be honest.  It was never about the alcohol.  

This month gave me evidence that I am capable of way more than I give myself credit for.  

I am disciplined and now have the confidence that I can do anything I set my mind to do.  

I am so proud of myself.  THAT IS PRICELESS!!!

What would you like to learn about yourself?  

You may not have a desire to take a break with alcohol, but I’m willing to bet that you have one area of your life you would like to get a handle on.  

Do you want to go on a journey of self discovery to learn what you are capable of? 

What would life be like if you didn’t struggle with that one thing?

I invite you to schedule a chat with me.  I am confident that I can help you stop wasting time with habitual struggles and help you see that you are capable of more than you imagine.  

When you are ready, let’s chat!

Here’s to learning what you are capable of!

~Tiffany

And the birds flutter around her writing “YES” in the sky