The cost of NOT restoring your cherished relationships

The cost of NOT restoring cherished relationships can take a toll on you emotionally and financially.    

As I shared in last week’s blog, during 2021 Jeff and I were seriously talking about divorce, but chose to walk through healing and learn to communicate, with the help of a couple’s coach.  

The good news is there is a happy ending to my story!  

As Johnnie Taylor’s 1973 song goes … It’s cheaper to keep her.  

I’d never sit in judgement of anyone who has divorced. It is a very personal choice, that at times may be the only option.  I personally wanted to avoid it.  I believed that what Jeff and I had was worth saving.  

The average cost of a divorce with children in Texas is at $23,500.

The fastest a couple can get a divorce in the state of Texas is 61 days.  

But we all know of couples that drug out their divorces for months, with costs soaring well above the average, not to mention the cost of separating assets and retirement. 

I don’t know about you, but I’ve invested way too much in my cherished relationships to simply walk away.  

Emotional Cost is so high!  

In 2021 Jeff and I had two major grid lock issues.  Every night seemed to be another round of fighting on one of them.  It was miserable.  

Let me remind you, we looked like a cute couple on Instagram.  We hardly ever talked trash about each other to friends and family.  

Although I had no idea how I would support myself, the real cost of divorce for me would be emotional.  I felt disposable and was afraid of being lonely.  All the arguing left me feeling unlovable and hopeless.  

The questions that kept me up at night were…

How will this affect my family?  

How will we spend Christmas and holidays?

Would we both go to the birthday parties and future celebrations?

How long will I carry the sting of rejection?  Would I ever be able to trust another man?

How would I get use to NOT talking to Jeff everyday?  Who would I run my crazy ideas past?

How we restored our relationship

Since March of 2019 I’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars in coaching and personal growth.  I attended two Tony Robins events, got certified in Life Coaching through the Life Coach School and hired business coaches.  

Like they say in the coaching world, I am a product of the product.  I can honestly say that this investment has changed me and gave me the ability to manage my mind. And honestly, I was doing a lot of self coaching during this time!

When divorce was thrown around like a nuclear bomb in our home, I humbly acknowledged we could not resolve this on our own.  

Hiring a couple’s coach was the most logical answer to our grid lock issues.  We learned to listen and communicate what we actually meant.  If we felt flooded in emotions, we simply stopped the conversation until we had time to process the feelings.  Jeff and I finally came to resolutions that turned our relationship around. The cost of coaching? Priceless!  

What we learned saved us from the high cost of divorce. 

This week as I relive some of the hurtful thoughts that I had to work through, I am deeply grateful that Jeff and I did not throw it all away.  I don’t even want to imagine what my life would be like if we had.  

Out of our restoration birthed a new program

I am dedicated to serving YOU in BIG ways in 2022.  I am willing to share what I experienced, in the hopes that YOU can restore your cherished relationships too!  

Monday January 17, 2022 I am launching a personalized program to walk you through restoring your cherished relationships supported by a my new program called Restore Your Cherished Relationships in 90 days.  

This program offers 5 valuable components.

Connection Calls. 

This is a weekly one on one Zoom call with me.  Every week you will have a 45 minutes with me to share your unique relationship issues.  We will work through the emotions you are experiencing and create a path forward.  This is by far the most valuable aspect of the program as you will finally feel heard.  

I have experienced the most amazing a-ha moments in my life with a coach who’s only objective was to listen to me and offer genuinely curious questions.  

Community Connections. 

You no longer need to feel isolated.  It always surprises me how convinced women are that they are alone.

I will create an online community for you to connect with women who are walking a similar journey.  This will be your chance to be encouraged by weekly group Zoom chats.  

Course Connection. 

This is where I put together journal prompts, worksheets, reading lists, podcast suggestions and more.  You will get a weekly email with all these goodies personalized for your journey.

Journaling through my emotions during this difficult time helped me get to know myself in a whole new level.  I have great prompts for you to ask yourself high quality questions.  

Constant Connection. 

You will have 24 hour access to me via email.  When you are in the heat of the moment and don’t want to wait for you connection call, you will be able to email me the issue.  I will respond to you within 24 hours… but most likely it will be sooner.  

The couple coach we hired offered this.  One night when Jeff and I were flooded with emotion she was there to walk me through it.  I will always be grateful for that!

The final component is my six week evaluation.  At this time we will evaluate your progress.  If you aren’t in love with your progress you will be offered a chance to jump ship or Course Correction.  I am confident that you will start to see hope for your relationships at this point in the program.  

Learn more!

Are you raising your hand wanting to know more?

Sweet!  Click the link below to learn more about the program.  If for some reason you still have questions… message me or schedule a chat on my Calendar.  

Due to the personalize nature of this offer I will only be able to work with 10 ladies.  So, don’t procrastinate!  

The FACEBOOK LIVE where Jeff and I shared our journey….

Here’s to restoring YOUR cherished relationships in 2022!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Your perfect gift under the tree

Your perfect gift under the tree

Do you have vivid childhood memories of Christmas morning?  After weeks of dreaming of your perfect gift under the tree, did you wake your parents up early?  How did it that morning feel?  

Later in life, did you recreate that magic for your family?  What was it like to see your children light up as they experience Christmas morning?  How did that feel?  

You are now entering an exciting season of life where you create this magic for yourself.  

If your best life was the perfect gift under the Christmas tree, what would it look like?  How would it feel to see your perfect gift under the tree?  Would your eyes sparkle with excitement? How would that feel?

Unwrap the perfect gift

You may have no idea what your perfect gift would look like.  So, let’s unwrap it.

Start with childlike faith, believing in the magic of Christmas.  Create a list of 25 things you’ve always wanted to do.  You don’t necessarily have to know how you will do the 25 things now, just dream.  

What have you always wanted to learn?  Scientist once believed that brain cells die off as you get older.  According to Carol Dweck, who has spent her life studying mindset, learning something new is not only possible at any age, it is possible to change your beliefs as well. 

What would you need to believe about yourself?  

You will be pleasantly surprised what you learn about yourself when you unwrap your perfect gift.  

A bold gift to give … unleash your best life.  

I know what you are thinking… 

It’s not possible to unleash from my current situation.  This is all I know.  

I can’t imagine life without the chaos of my family or career.  I may be bored when I retire or have an empty nest.  

It’s selfish to invest in myself or celebrate my unique gifts.  

What will people say if I start thinking about myself?   

I can tell you it’s possible for you to overcome all the doubt and negative self talk, and possible to unleash your best life in 90 days!  

It is a bold gift you can give yourself!  

Have you considered who would benefit from unleashing your best life?  

How would you show up differently if you were living your best life?  

If this is resonating with you, I’d like to hop on a short call to learn where you are at, where you’d like to go and offer ways to get you there in 90 days

Reach out to me and I’ll send you my calendar link.  

Here’s to unwrapping your perfect gift by unleashing your best life in 90 days!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Saying NO to notions

Midlife is a good time to reevaluate what you have thought is true about life, and possibly say no to your notions.

What is something you believed in your 30’s that you no longer believe? 

Asking for a friend

I had fun asking my friends on Facebook to share beliefs they once had in our 30’s

Here are a few that I love:

60 is old.

My jeans had to be a certain size.

It’s not possible to train for a marathon at my age.

I had to be the peace maker.

People who had a lot of money had no problems.

What are yours?

I’m convinced that we all have notions that we might be ready to ditch.

Midlife is the perfect time to break free and truly live!

What are notions that you no longer believe?

OH… and while we are asking… where the heck did these notions come from?  Who makes up the rules anyway?  

It’s so fascinating to think about, but maybe it never occurred to you to reevaluate what you believe. 

Let me encourage you to get curious about some of your notions that may need to be ditched.  

Question everything

I think everything is up for questioning. 

Do you have to be a certain size to be happy?  

What age is too old?  

Why not train to run a marathon at 50?  

Your answers could be a clue to how your second half of life will go.  

Are you ready to ditch the notions you once believed?  If you can, life has endless possibilities!  

Need help?

Some notions you no longer believe could be due to hardships and unexpected twists in the road.  Even when life does not go as planned, I’ve seen resiliency that truly inspires me.  

It is never too late to create new notions, see life with new possibilities.  

You might recognize some notions, but are not convinced you could move past them.  

I am confident that I can help you say yes to life.  It is time to discover what your notion of fun is, what matters most to you and to fall in love with life.  

Most of all I’d love to help you define life on your terms.  

I invite you to take the first step by scheduling a chat with me.  I can send you my calendar link.  It is simple to pick a date/time that works for you.  

Here’s to embracing new notions!

~Tiffany Eckhardt

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

Got zest?

Zest adds flavor to life!  

Are you zesty?  

“A seasoned woman is spicy,” Gail Sheehy

This isn’t the first time I’ve written about zest.  I have always promoted the need to have something zesty to look forward to.

The past few weeks I’ve focused on your creativity, taking yourself on a date and getting on the dance floor.  

I hope you saw yourself in these posts and are ready to add zest to your life!

Something zesty to look forward to.  

“The quality of life is in proportion, always, to the capacity for delight.”  Julia Cameron

It is difficult to have capacity for delight when you live in the land of regret.  If you are always looking to the past, it’s hard to see a zesty future.    

To stop dwelling in the past, first learn to delight in the present by taking time to be grateful for all the good that you’ve created in your life.  

And then look to an exciting future by intentionally planning something zesty to look forward to. This excercise creates more of what you love.  

Our need for zest

Midlife is the perfect opportunity to be intentional about your need for zest.  

As a midlife woman, it’s time to unleash your spice.  It’s time to defy the rules and expectations you’ve followed and start doing more of what delights you.  

Working towards a dream or goal, planning a vacation or even planning a garden gives meaning to your life and creates excitement.  

Stay open to opportunities for zest

Do you have a list of zesty things to look forward to?   

Here’s a great place to start…  

Create a list 20 things you like to do.  Don’t overthink it or worry if you can’t come up with 20.  Once you are open to what delights you, more ideas will flow.  

Pick one item and describe how you will feel when you are planning it and doing it.  

Does it feel zesty and add spice to your life???  

The key is to stay open to opportunities for zest.  

Zest zappers

There are bound to be zest zappers in your life.  

You may not even be aware of how you are zapping your zest.  

Do you worry that it’s too late? Does focusing on yourself seem selfish?

Maybe you just need help believing you are capable of creating a zesty life.  

I’d love to help you tackle the blocks preventing you from moving forward toward a life that excites you.  

I invite you to schedule a free consultation.  Let’s chat about what seems to be in the way of you experiencing the freedom and fullness of midlife.  I am confident that I can help you add zest to your life!

Simply click HERE to pick a date/time that works for you.

Here’s to becoming a seasoned women with something zesty to look forward to!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

Riding solo?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach, helping women rise above their midlife BS.

My empty nest is NOT boring, because I am in it.  Although, there are times when I just need to get out of the nest and explore. And I don’t mind riding solo!  

Inspired by The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, I took myself on a date this week.  The idea is take time to nurture the creative spirit within and to allow playful inflow.

“As artists {I’ll add midlife women} we must learn to be self-nourishing.  We must become alert enough to consciously replenish our creative resources as we draw on them – to restock the trout pond, so to speak.  I call this process filling the well.”  Julia Cameron

My date

For me, replenishing my creativity requires a drive in the country to The Antique Rose Emporium.  As I drove the pastoral countryside, I had to remind myself it was time to shut down the thoughts about the chaotic world and get caught up in the moment.  So, I cranked up the radio and sang at the top of my lungs.  I can only get away with that volume riding solo.  

Even if I visit the Antique Rose Emporium’s magic gardens a hundred times and see something that I’ve never seen before.  I walk around shooting pictures and wondering how the gardeners created the spaces.  I always leave with a renewed enthusiasm for my garden and a sense of peace with the world…. And on this trip $100 worth of new plants!

How does the idea sit with you?

The idea of going on a date alone is somewhat intimidating.  

Being alone, or lonely, is a very scary thing for midlife women experiencing an empty nest and trying to figure out their purpose in this season.  

On the flip side… 

What if having the ability to sit alone at a restaurant and enjoy a meal is actually empowering?

How does the idea sit with you?

Community 

I’m not suggesting that you don’t need family and friends.

There is plenty of evidence that community is basic to our happiness.  Out of the six basic human needs; Significance, Love/Connection and Contribution require community.  

What I am offering is the benefit of being able to entertain, nurture and restore yourself.  Once you learn this skill, boredom and loneliness loose their power over you.  

Could it be fun? 

Coming up with ideas for weekly dates can be just as creative as the date itself.  Here are a few of mine….  A trip to a junk store, drive in the country, try out the new coffee shop, roller skating, a bike ride, etc.  

Are you waiting for your partner to have the time to get out of dodge? What about taking a solo trip somewhere on your bucket list?  

What have you been putting off because you don’t want to do it alone?  Maybe you are the perfect date for the occasion?  

Need a little nudge out of the nest?

You might agree that taking yourself on a date could be empowering, but your mind is working overtime to warn you of all the reasons it’s a horrible idea.  

Being lonely sucks, but at least it is familiar.  

I’d love to help you discover your inner shenanigans and the wings to rise above the resistance.  

You might just discover that you enjoy your own company just as much as you enjoy your family and friends.  

Schedule a free consultation by clicking on my calendar link and choosing a date/time that works for you.  This is an opportunity for you to ask me all the questions you have about hiring a life coach and a chance for you to talk through an issue that you are struggling with.  

Here’s to getting behind the wheel, blasting the music, singing at the top of your lungs… or whatever you need to do to fill the well!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Who are you if you ditch the titles?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention helping woman rise above their midlife BS

Ditch the titles

When asked to introduce yourself, do you feel the need to recite an well rehearsed elevator speach?  Midlife seems to be the perfect season to ditch the titles.  However, deciding on an introduction that really captures who you’ve become is not that easy.  

Here’s how I’d like to introduce myself:

Hi I’m Tiffany.  I like to think I have a sparkle and a great smile, and am most found of my indomitable spirit and fierce independence.  My heart swells when my grandkids giggle, reminding me to lighten up and enjoy life.  I have a gift of hospitality and enjoy creating beautiful spaces, both in my home and garden.  Preferring a natural lifestyle, I am curious about how nature provides for us.  Currently I am creating journals for women to rise above the BS, navigate change and live extraordinary lives.  

I haven’t muster the courage to use a lengthy explanation of who I am.  People expect to hear what I DO, not an explanation of WHO I am, especially when it sounds like bragging about all the qualities I like about myself.  

The Titles

It’s so much easier to use titles that are commonly recognized in introductions, which reasonably define you, until they don’t.  

What actually defines you when you’ve retired your well rehearsed elevator speech?  It sucks to feel unsure of your identity as you enter an uncharted season of life.  

Instead of seeing it as a predicament, you could view it as a great opportunity to create the title you want and really learn who you are.  

What’s your essence?

Society loves labels and titles to categorize people.  Have you noticed?  

Many of my clients are just getting to know themselves after a lifetime of service to others. They are tapping into buried interests and passions, and discovering their essence as they  redefine their life.  

Wouldn’t it feel radical to ditch the titles and lead with what makes you unique?  Try it. I am…

Ask the right questions!

You may be wondering who am I now that I am free from my titles?  

Well, start by identifying what you believe about yourself.  What are you proud of?  Would you change anything?  If so, forgive yourself and let it go.  Are there features of yourself you love?  What are your gifts?  What makes you feel alive?  

Are there new skills you’d like to develop or natural talents you could explore? What do you consider fun?  

I don’t pretend to have the answers

I’m a work in progress.  {Maybe that could be how I introduce myself}

I believe this work is vital and necessary to break free from attachments to the past.  It liberates you to blossom into the woman you long to BE.  

This is your season to sparkle.  Only you can answer the question of who you are and who you will become.

I can help

I’d love to help you sort through all the questions that will lead you to discovering your perfect introduction.  

I offer a FREE guide, Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS.  This guide will help you ask the right questions, identify who you want to be and stop sabotaging your best made goals for the future.

My Four Stages  Of Reinvention Journal is available on Amazon.  It sucks that change never gets easier.  Journaling is a powerful tool in connecting to your thoughts and creating a map forward.  Learning the Four Stages Of Reinvention will help you discover what phase of change your are in and build a road map for your future.  Once you’ve mastered the four stages, you’ll never waste time fighting change again.

If you are in any stage of reinvention or change, I invite you to take advantage of a free consult call by simply visiting my calendar and picking a date/time that works for you.  This will give you an opportunity to discover what midlife coaching is all about and if it’s a good fit for you.  

Ditch the titles challenge

I’d love to get to know you, not your titles.  I challenge you to craft an introduction free of common titles and send me what you come up with.  It will be fun to see how creative y’all are!  

Here’s to becoming who we are, not what we do!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

What I learned from my new hat

Tiffany Eckhardt; master of reinvention, certified life coach and author.  Helping midlife women answer the question what's next?
photo credit Ellen Renee Photography

What I learned from my new hat

I have a new hat to wear.  It’s actually the new title of published author.

I’m excited to announce my newly published journal, The Four Stages of Reinvention Journal, A Journal For the Journey on Amazon.  

Good thing I love hats, I have many.  My personal hats are of a wife, mother, daughter, sister, Fancy (aka grandma), niece and loyal friend.  Professionally I wear the hat of a certified life coach, but prefer to be called master of reinvention. My beloved guest house owner hat hardly feels like work.  Heck, you could say I have an abundant collection of hats!

My new hat accentuates my passion for helping women find their future, to believe their best years are ahead.  The Four Stages Of Reinvention walks you through the stages of resistance to resilience with journal practices to compliment each stage.  

Now that I’ve survived the process of publishing a journal on Amazon, I am ready to share what I’ve learned.

Get help from friends with amazing hats

Abundance is relational.  Thank God I’m abundantly blessed with people willing to help me.  The classic book Think And Grow Rich teaches the importance of building a network of support.

I could not have completed this project without my bestie, author Dawn Gardner.  First of all, she is the amazing photographer I used for many of the graphics.  As if that wasn’t valuable enough, she offered design suggestions, helped me format my pages for the journal and the cover, and was an invaluable beta reader.  

An awesome Master Mind leader and coach, Peg Wedig graciously offered editing suggestions, line by line and word by word to correct grammar and help fine tune my message.

I had several friends who read the journal before publishing, including a new friend Jillian McGill.  I’m honored to be included in her upcoming Empowered Woman’s Summit and love the review she offered!  

“Made me think quite a bit. For me, it seems that with a BIG life challenge I’m currently moving through, I dance between the four stages.  The inquiries and journal prompts are rich and robust. It’s beautifully put together.”

Wear an editor’s hat often

I will just admit it here.  I have poor grammar and spelling skills, which most likely frustrates my teacher and author friends.  The grammar police on social media has given me many citations over the years. 

In my haste to publish, I misspelled the word whether, the first word on the description page.  UUGH!  I discovered the misspelled word after I announced the journal on my personal Facebook page.  As a result, I learned how to properly correct copy on Amazon’s publishing, which took me several days.  Forgetting the first “h” in whether set me back about a week.  

Again, in my haste to share the journal, I sent out an email to 600 subscribers in the third person.  I had copied and pasted the the description page on Amazon.  It was too late to do anything about it.  I apologize for that one!  I was just too excited to edit my email properly.  

Live and learn!

Practice patience

Yeah, I don’t have much.  Can you relate?

I did practice patience in the creation stage of the journal, taking the time to recruit beta readers and painfully editing the journal.  Gratefully, my patience produced a beautiful journal.  

Publishing the journal tried my patience.  I love graphic design, but learning to format pages with bleed was frustrating.  {Thanks Dawn for getting me through that!}.  Waiting for the journal to go live was nerve-racking.  Waiting for a correction on the description page was gut-wrenching.  Finally, waiting for the first report on sales to post had me in knots. I’m hoping the journal will be well received, and to have a Sally Field moment, “You like me!  You really, really like me!”

Learning curve

I will continue to be a student of the publishing world, occasionally frustrating the grammar police on my blog and social media posts, and bugging my fiends for input on my grand ideas.  My work will gradually become polished as I learn from all the mistakes along the way.  

I am embracing the learning curve with humility and proving that age does not dictate what can be done or experienced. 

I share all of my imperfections in the hope of inspiring you to step out of your comfort zone.  

What are you waiting for?

Let me know how I can help!  

If you are resisting change in your life, let me encourage you. Once you’ve mastered the four stages or reinvention, you’ll never waste time fighting change again. 

You are capable of wearing multiple hats and learning to wear new ones.  

If you need help moving through a big life challenge, let’s connect.  I can help you dance through the stages of reinvention.  Check out my calendar for a free consultation!  

AND… check out my newly published journal on Amazon!  

Here’s to new hats!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

Shed the shoulding

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach, helping midlife women answer the question, what's next

Are you shoulding yourself? 

The word should needs to go!

The word should is a verb and is the least motivating word in the English language.  Should is used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions.

The word carries weight that does not motivate.

You might be shoulding if….

Anytime you think you should act in a certain way in order to be loved or worthy.  Stop it!

Here are some example thoughts you might have had.

I should be able to loose weight, if only I could just stop eating bread and sugar.   

I should like to work out.      

There is a person you’ve been avoiding that you should call.

You wake up in the morning with a list of things you should do, but none if them sound fun.  

The night before you drank a bottle of wine to take your mind off things, and the next morning think you shouldn’t have done that.  

Why you should yourself?

If you are a midlife woman like me, you have a long history of shoulding yourself.   

Your the woman they could count on for the cupcakes at your child’s school.  

You beat yourself up for not being a certain size jeans, as if your weight is the reason someone should like you.   

If you could only live up to the magazine pictures in Better Homes And Gardens!  

You feel guilt and shame when you use the verb should, implying you have no control over your actions or will.

I add a little rebellion to my feelings of guilt and shame.  I personally hate being told what to do, it’s part of my fiery personality. Can you relate?  

In any case, the word should indicates a dissatisfaction with life.  

Ask yourself why

I’ll be a little vulnerable and share a should in my life.  

I have a habit of drinking a couple of glasses of wine or old fashions in the evening.  It really isn’t bad, but I started thinking I should be able to enjoy the evening without the cocktail.  I worry excessive alcohol is affecting my wellness and productivity the next morning.  

I started thinking I should be able to quit the habit during the week.  

That should only caused me to feel ashamed and beat myself up every morning.  

When I finally got honest with myself and journaled my thoughts and feelings, I realized that the real reason I was drinking more than I wanted to was two feelings… boredom and loneliness.  I spent time exploring why I was bored and lonely, which led to even more insights into what was really going on.  

Now that I have identified reasons for my extra glass of wine, I can work on the root thoughts and feelings, and offer myself grace instead of shame.

Ask yourself why when you think you should? When asked a question, your mind will go to work to answer it.  

At the root of every should is a desire for something.  What is your heart really longing for?  

Shed the should

Midlife is time to get honest with yourself.  This is your season to shed the should!  

Start discovering what would feel zesty, juicy and rewarding.  A daily journal practice is a great way to discover what is really going on in your mind.  

Employ the word NO to requests of your time or energy. Say YES to everything that aligns with the life you want to create.  

I can help!

Do you have a long history with the word should?  Could you use a little help ditching the habit?  

My clients are rising above all kinds of midlife BS.  You can too!

It’s been my experience that hiring an objective listener identified where I’ve been shoulding myself.

As your life coach, I will help you leap over the divide from what you think you should be doing to what you want to be doing.  

Your best years begin with a healthy dose of curiosity. 

Curious about hiring a life coach?   I invite you to schedule a consultation by clicking Ask A Coach below

Here’s to shedding the should!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of Reinvention and Certified Life Coach helping midlife women answer the question, "What's next?"

Minding the gap

Mind the gap

As a midlife coach, I focus on fresh starts.  Last week I addressed the feelings of restlessness, helping you to understand your thoughts cause your feelings.  This week I’d like to chat about the distance between what you think you should do and what you are actually doing. Your fresh start hinges upon you minding the gap.

The gap is a feeling.  

The greatest gap in the world is the gap between knowing and doing.  ~John Maxwell

The results we hope for in our lives are always created by the thoughts we entertain.  The gap between knowing and doing is our feelings.  

Again, notice what the gap is not…. obstacles, or any negative circumstance.  

Awareness

According to a Harvard Business Review article, the number one reason people don’t realize their potential is that they don’t know themselves.  

The best way to get to know yourself is develop a healthy measure of curiosity, observing your thoughts and feelings.  

Begin to observe what makes you tense or relaxed.  (Hint: it is a thought you are having). 

“To be true to myself, I must know myself: what I enjoy, what I resist, what moves me.  Pleasure asks that we reacquaint ourselves with who we are.”  ~Victoria Castle. 

Map your gap

I teach my clients a weekly scheduling practice called Monday Hour One.  In the process of scheduling everything out, my clients are taught to map out fun first.  

When I first started practicing Monday Hour One, I didn’t know what I liked to do for fun.  I had to think about what brought me pleasure throughout the week.  From this awareness, I now schedule yoga, gardening and roller skating first into my week.   

Added bonus:  Over time, I realized that the more I enjoyed life, the more creativity energy flowed through me.  Feeling tense or experiencing a sense of dread is an indication that I lack necessary fun in my life.  That’s an easy fix!  I now have a list of things that will add spice to my weekly schedule.

Journal your gap

I intuitively knew from an early age that expressing my thoughts in a journal is the key to minding the gap (my feelings).  

Witnessing your thoughts on paper allows you the opportunity to make changes, respect how you feel, and stop ignoring them.  

Here are a few journal prompts that will help you start minding your gap…

What do you feel?

How do you feel right now, tense or relaxed?

Is there something that inspires you? 

Are you loyal to something?

What do you avoid?

When do you feel most alive?

I can help

I enjoy sharing what I’ve learned from my personal growth journey.  One of my freebies is Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS, a free downloadable workbook.  In this you will get to know yourself better and mind your gap (feelings).  

It’s been my experience that hiring an objective listener helped identify where I was stuck. 

As your life coach, I will help you leap over the divide from what you think you should be doing to what you want to be doing.  I lead you through the four stages of change to fully get to know yourself.  

Your best years begin with a healthy dose of curiosity. 

Curious about hiring a life coach?   I invite you to schedule a consultation by clicking Ask A Coach below

Here’s to not only minding the gap, but embracing a fresh start like the badass you are!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of Reinvention and Certified Life Coach helping midlife women answer the question, "What's next?"

Restless?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helping midlife women answer the question, what's next.

Do you feel restless?

The season of midlife is often an unchartered territory.  Many of my clients are experiencing a lack of structure and/or purpose for the first time in their life.  Thoughts of uncertainty often causes you to feel restless.  

You might be restless if…..

You’ve downsized your home or retired from a career.  

The calendar is open and nothing seems predictable, when it once was overbooked.  

Restlessness may even be a form of boredom and loneliness.  

Are you restless from a major life event; such as a wellness awakening or late life divorce?  

Of course you will feel a bit unsettled when you wondering to yourself, what’s next.

Take heart!  Restless feelings are not necessarily a bad thing!  

Don’t fight restless feelings

Argue for your limitations and they are yours.  ~Richard Bach

Restlessness is an indication of change.  Instead of indulging in confusion, answer the questions your restless feelings are begging you to answer.

Do you have a gift to explore?

What dreams did you dream as a child?

What do you love about yourself?

How can you live your best life?

The big questions

My dream had always been to open an antique store.  I remember cutting out articles of Better Homes and Gardens.  I can clearly see in my mind’s eye an article with a happy shop owner sweeping the sidewalk outside her store that I cut out about twenty years ago.  

My vision became a reality in March of 2015, on a beautiful spring day.  I opened my little store in Burton, with all my favorite people surrounding me for a ribbon cutting ceremony.  It was a dream come true. 

I closed that story book chapter of my life in November of 2018.  As that season ended, I had to accept the ending and allowed myself to grieve the loss of my dream.  

This wasn’t my first rodeo.  I’ve experienced drastic changes several times in my life.  I knew it was another opportunity to embrace change.  Eventually, I was reminded how resilient I truly am.   

To move past the restless feelings associated with change, you need to answer the big questions.

What’s now?  

What’s next?  

Stop and ask yourself these two questions and notice where your mind goes?  

Surf the shift

This requires imagination.  If you don’t have it, borrow the imagination of someone you admire.  What do they believe about change?  How do they feel about this season?  How have they show up for life?

Think of imagination as a surfboard, just hop on the board and ride wave of possibilities.  

When you surf the shift, you’ll discover how resilient you are!

Find you future

In the course of reinventing my life numerous times, I have identified four stages of change that can help you navigate uncharted territory.  

What you believe you embody.  I help my clients redefine what’s possible in this season.  

I can help you rise above any BS regarding your possibilities, so you can stop wasting precious time.  

Find your future!

What are you waiting for?  Schedule a consultation today by clicking my calendar link below.  I can help you answer the big questions, what’s now and what’s next?

Here’s to shifting past restless to resilient!  Ride the wave of possibilities!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing YES in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of Reinvention and Certified Life Coach helping midlife women answer the question, "What's next?"