Choose Yourself

Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach and master of reinvention... want you to learn to choose you in midlife!

How often do you choose yourself? A common theme with the women I coach is learning to make yourself a priority in midlife. Some clients are learning to take back their time, while others are making this their time to shine.  

Choosing yourself is about finding significance in the opinion you hold of yourself.  ~Tiffany

Significance is not selfish, it’s one of the eight basic human needs.  I promise developing a healthy opinion does not make you a narcissist.

The real problem is people expect their needs to be met by others, wether the need is solving loneliness, feeling heard or finding purpose.  

So, it is not surprising when you find yourself disappointed with people or circumstances, especially when they are not meeting your needs.   

Choosing me is hard

I hate inconveniencing others and tend to project my feelings or expectations onto others.  

When I make decisions based on how it will affect the people around me, even when it is not in my best interest, I then tend to expect others to consider how their decisions will affect me.  

As I regularly preach, other people are not thinking of you.  They are busy meeting their own needs… a vicious cycle that is broken when you learn to meet your own needs, to choose yourself.  

A priority

After a recent fight with my husband, that revolved around making plans without discussing it first, this thought hit me like a ton of bricks.

How can I feel like a priority when the opinion I hold of myself is squat.

The fear of being unlovable or unworthy is very common, and not surprising that I caught myself in this pattern of belief.  I was making the plans my husband made mean I was not a priority, which was not what he meant at all.

Had I realized that I was triggered by the thought I was not a priority, I might have approached the topic completely different.  

Find freedom

It is my intention for you to believe that your best years are ahead and midlife is a precious gift, a time to find your significance in your own opinion.  

If you have a healthy self worth, good for you!  We need more people like you in the world.  By valuing yourself, you walk in freedom and no one has to live up to your expectations.

However, if you struggle with significance like I do, there is freedom for you too. 

Start acknowledging when you’re looking to outside influences to gain the value you seek.  

Learn to speak up for yourself.  

Believe your time is valuable.  

See your gifts are priceless.  

Start to choose yourself.  

I can help you traverse the web of thoughts ingrained in your opinion of yourself and create new ones that will empower you to move forward into an exciting, fun future.  

I invite you to schedule a free consultation.  Let’s chat about how working with me will help you create a healthy opinion of yourself.  I want to learn where you are at, and where you’d like to be in life.  

Here’s to finding significance in the opinion you hold of yourself!  And choosing to believe in your worth!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Opportunities for resiliency

Have you ever felt rode hard and put up wet?  That feeling is a clear sign that it is time to check-in, take stock and evaluate what you want to create for yourself and acknowledge the opportunity for resiliency.  

This morning I woke up with achey legs and feeling acidic.  My health and wellness is suffering from months under the pressure of planning a wedding, which by the way turned out perfect.  I skipped yoga and indulged in evening cocktails as I tried to turn off the constant to-do list in my head.

As I clean up the wedding whirlwind and a fun-filled week with my grandkids, thoughts of resiliency pop in my head.  

I feel exhausted, but it is time to focus on the life I want and who I want to be.  

Here are my random thoughts on resiliency.  

Messes clean up.

Weight gained can be lost.  

Hearts mend.  

The human body bounces back to wellness if taken care of.  

Kids will grow up, get married and have kiddos… and I continue to thrive (when I choose to).

Opportunities for resilience

Being aware of your resiliency is empowering.  

I am run down, out of shape and gained belly fat in the process, but I will not to hang out in self deprivation.  

This is just another opportunity to prove that I am resilient and can become a better version of me in the process.  

Opportunities for you to prove your resiliency exist too.  

Focus on the future

A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step, or in this case a thought.  

Start developing a dream of what you want for your life and how you want to show up.  

Start dreaming with the innocence of a five year old, but with the inner strength of the woman you will become five years in the future.  

Decide what you want to believe about yourself.  

Don’t be shy about asking for help!

It is my intention that you believe your best years are ahead.  I help women discover they are resilient and create the life they really want.  

I’d love to help you navigate your opportunities for resiliency.  

Reach out to me!  I offer a free consultation.  Simply click on my calendar link and choose a date and time that works for you.  

Don’t waste any more precious time stuck!  You are more resilient that you realize.  

And you don’t have to feel alone. It always helps to talk through your opportunity for resiliency with someone who is great at listening and can ask the right questions. 

Here’s to being resilient and thriving!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Seeds of potential

What are your seeds of potential?  Tiffany Eckhardt can help you identify your wheelhouse of gifts/talents and help you nurture your seeds of potential.

Yes, I am still obsessed with spring and gardening.  I can’t help it.  Lately, I’ve been focusing on my wheel house, where my seeds of potential lie in my natural gifts and talents.  I want you to discover your seeds of potential!

If you have followed me for any length of time, you will know I am a huge proponent of journaling.  Through journaling I discovered that I feel alive and find purpose in creating spaces, offering hospitality and inspiring others to live BIG lives.

Making decisions about how I invest my time is so easy now, as long as it falls into one of the three areas of my wheel house.  And to be clear, my wheel house looks more like a green house than a boat.  In this space I can nurture so many seeds of potential.  

Calibrate to your seeds

I recently listened to Ester Hicks describe calibration and it blew me away.  What you focus on is your point of attraction for your life.  

Let that sink in.

I want YOU to calibrate to your seeds of potential.  Start by honestly and with curiosity, journaling questions posed by Ester Hicks.   

Am I focused or confused?

Do I feel rooted in a broader understanding or flailing around in the unknown?

What are my strong desires and do I support these desires?

Do I believe I inherently know where the solutions are to my desires?

However you answer the above questions is your point of attraction, and what will likely sprout in the garden of your life.  

Offering grace

If your honest answers revealed that you are flailing around in confusion and neglecting your desires, let me offer you grace in that now you can understand what you don’t want and focus on what you want.  

“Remember, having faith means recognizing the value of what you are here to contribute to the world and allowing your actions to be grounded in that truth.”  ~Marie Forleo

You have special gifts that only you can contribute to the world.  Within your wheel house lies seeds of potential that will grace your life with so much purpose. 

If you find yourself unable to recognize your uniques gifts or worry your potential has gone fallow, I can help you find clarity to move towards your FUN future.  

I invite you to schedule a chat with me to explore your seeds of potential.  Simply click on my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you.  

Here’s to flourishing in your own unique wheel house, nurturing your seeds of potential!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Suffering is optional

Tiffany Eckhardt, turning 52 could cause a crisis, but believes that suffering is optional... age is just a number.
So what I can’t tolerate dairy anymore! My hubby found a vegan red velvet cupcake!

This week I turned 52, the expected time frame for a midlife crisis. However, I believe that suffering is optional because age is just a number.  

You have the power to cultivate any outlook on life you want.  I love birthdays!

I was born in 1970 and am consider Gen X, the lost generation.  Who decides these things?  I don’t feel lost.  Do you? 

Funny thing is I can never remember how old I am, which is ridiculous given the easy math, but I also can never remember what day it is either.  

Jeff thinks it’s intentional.  Maybe it is.  LOL! 

How do you view birthdays?

Do you love birthdays?  If you don’t, what about a birthday makes you cringe?  

Does aging mean you loose purpose, as if the older you get the less meaning you have to others?  

Are you worried about being alone?  Loneliness is a real challenge for empty nesters.

Is your health the issue that has you loosing sleep at night?  

Your best years are ahead

While I recognize the down side of aging, I truly believe that there is way more to celebrate with each new year.  

The truth is you have the power to create wellness and take control of your health.  I am living proof of this!  No dairy? Jeff found vegan red velvet cupcakes for me… there’s always a solution.

You can learn to love your own company, another thing I have cultivated in my own life.  

Learning and investing in your growth never stops at a certain age.  Each new year is another opportunity to discover new things about yourself.  

The secret sauce is to discover your purpose and find meaning in this season.  You will then begin to loose track of time and love birthdays, as you truly believe your best days are ahead.  

Suffering is optional?

You seriously don’t have to indulge in suffering about your age or any other limiting belief.  If you are feeling sad or lonely I get it!  I still get lonely at times, and am sad that my house isn’t full of irreverent teenagers.  But…

“If you could only sense how important you are in the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of.  There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.”  Fred Rogers

I can help you walk through the real emotions that downsizing, or an empty nest can generate.  I understand the stages of change that you are dancing through, but I also know how to get you from resistance to resilience.  

Don’t waste any more time yearning for purpose or meaning in this season!  

You might be thinking that I don’t understand your situation. Try me!

I invite you to schedule a chat with me… it is so easy!  Simply follow my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you.  I’d love to learn about your journey, where you are and where you’d like to be.  

Your best years are ahead and suffering is optional.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

What is your story?

This week I enjoyed a visit with my neighbor, who saw me sitting on my front porch and stopped by for a chat.  Porch sitting feels like a thing of the past, but impromptu chats with neighbors seems even more rare.  She told me that lately she has been curious about people’s stories.  

Everyone has one.  What is your story?

She wondered if anyone takes the time to ask people to share their story.  Recently a local business owner even seemed surprised when she asked about her story.  

Has anyone asked about your story?

What would you share? 

Would you only tell the expected chapters, or would you delve into the nitty gritty?  

After being on the planet around five decades, there are too many chapters to choose from.  

Where would you begin?  

Storyworth

My daughter gifted me a Storyworth subscription for Christmas.  Every Monday for a whole year I will be emailed a question about my life.  At the end of the year they will put it all together in a book I can purchase. 

I was touched that my daughter was interested in knowing more about me.  

{insert ugly cry}

I’m not an affiliate for this company, but I think this is an excellent idea!

Here are some of the questions I’ve been asked:

What is your favorite childhood story?

What was your Mom/Dad like?  Grandparents?  First Boss?  

What would you save if your house was on fire?  – EEKS THIS WAS HARD!

What do you consider your motto?

Favorite subject in high school?

Best job you ever had?

Today’s question is.. are you a regular at any of your local restaurants or cafes? What is that relationship like?”

Heartbreaking realization

It feels a bit sad to me that as a society we’ve lost the connection of neighbors, but what is even more heartbreaking is that many women have lost a connection to their story.  

A Harvard Business Review article on human potential said that the #1 reason you don’t reach your potential is that you don’t know yourself. 

You many not even know how to connect to your story, to make peace with it or to move forward to create the story you’ve always wanted. 

What the world needs is more porch sitting

Maybe my neighbor is onto something by making a point of stopping to visit a neighbor sitting on her front porch, and to care enough to wonder about her story.

Everyone has one.  What is your story?

I love having the opportunity to listen to women’s stories, and help them make peace with their numerous chapters. 

My intention is that you believe your best years are ahead.  

Do you feel stuck, unheard or maybe you just feel lonely? Are you afraid that your best years are in the past? Where are you in your story, and where would you like to be?

I invite you to schedule a chat with me using my calendar link, then choose a date/time that works for you. The very best part of my role as a life coach is to help you create a life you’ve always wanted.  

Here’s to connecting to your story and believing your best days are ahead!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

What does reinvention mean to you?

What does reinvention mean to you?  Could it simply mean change?  Tiffany Eckhardt, midlife coach would like to help you fly free into this next season in life.

What does reinvention mean to you?  Could it simply mean change?

The only constant in life is change.  ~Heraclitus

Generation X, those born between 1965 and 1980, are also called the lost generation.  If you are a GenXer, you work hard, are loyal and follow the expected course.  You might not understand the millennials work ethics because your approach to change is very calculated.

Midlife, the central period of life, is full of heartbreaking change that many are not prepared for.  I’d like to propose that it is an exciting time of reinvention, a time to get lost on a path that you’ve always dreamed of taking.  A time to fly free!

How will you show up for change?  

After I graduated high school, I enlisted in the AirForce.  I had little direction in my life, and thought it would be an adventure.  My high school career was rocky, I never felt like I fit in with any one group.  When I got to tech school, I felt freedom to be anyone I wanted.  So, I walked into our community room with a newfound confidence and proclaimed, “I am going to the movies, would anyone like to go with me?”  

Jeff took me up on that offer… and the rest is history.  

I want you to envision the season of midlife the same way I did as an Airman out of basic training.  You’ve followed the predictable path and now you are entering a new room, or season of life.  How do you want to show up?  

Do you feel lost?

As a member of the lost generation, do you feel unprepared for this season of your life?  

It sucks that change never seems to get easier. 

As a self proclaimed master of reinvention, I have changed course numerous times in my lifetime.  That doesn’t mean that I became a totally different person, but that I simply tried a different approach to life.  

Looking back through my journals, I discovered there were predictable stages that I went through with each change.  

The Four Stages of Reinvention

That is why I wrote the journal, The Four Stages of Reinvention.  Here’s a little video I created to explain the journal…

Join me

This Wednesday, March 16th at 1pm CST I will offer a class on The Four Stages of Reinvention.  I’d love for you to join me!  

This class will be a zoom call with like minded women who feel a little unprepared for this season of life.  I will walk you through the 4 stages and offer a few journal prompts and practices along the way.  

It’s a free class! 

To join the class, REGISTER HERE. Once you register, you will be given a zoom link for the class.

Here’s to flying free into the next season of life with confidence!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Can we skip to the good part?

Can we skip to the good part?  What if this is the good part.  Tiffany Eckhardt helps women make it through midlife without a crisis.

Skip to the good part

As I walk through my garden bursting with signs of new life, one thing I know for sure is that you can’t rush spring, or skip to the good part. 

I want to plant a seed and then skip to harvesting a beautiful array of cutting flowers, fruits and vegetables.  I want to feel accomplished and enjoy the rewards of my hard work, without doing the work.

In what areas of your life are you rushing? Have you found yourself wishing, “can we skip to the good part?”  

We’ve spent our lives skipping to the good part

In high school you were most likely in a hurry to graduate, then off to college.  After high school or college, you might have been in a hurry to get married, and then the house and kids.  

Most parents rush their children’s milestones, in a hurry for their precious baby to crawl, walk and talk.  And then spend the rest of their lives telling them to sit down and hush.  

How many seasons did you rush?  In hindsight, every season was the good part! 

This song by AJR eloquently explains it all… The Good Part.

Will I know I’ve made it?

Although 20 years of raising a family seems like a long time, in the end it went too fast.  

Are you considering these nagging questions…

Have you made it?  Was this always the goal?  Now what?  

Did you skip the good part?

The danger for empty nesters is the temptation to habitually look to the past for your identity.

Can you skip the unwanted feelings?   

One of the latest trends for Instagram REELS is using the song by AJR to show how people want to skip to the good part.  My favorite one is a husband who is digging a trench.  The wife asks, can we skip to the good part?  He answers, NO!  Jeff and I relate to that REEL as he just trenched our back yard for a water line, a couple months before our son’s wedding that we are hosting.  

I’m the screaming wife… Check out the REEL!

Are you the screaming midlife woman with an empty nest, who just wants to skip to feeling certain of the future? Your empty nest feels lonely.  You’re not sure where you’ll skip to, but you’d like to skip the heaviness of unwanted feelings.  

I hate to be the bearer of bad news. You can’t skip the work involved in cultivating a new life, but it’s work wether you stay stuck or dig in.

The resistance

It’s natural to avoid the discomfort of new growth, but when you resist it you suffer.  

The best part of an empty nest is that you have plenty of time to dig into what makes you tick and cultivate something new. You can grow stronger as you learn to dance with resistance, acceptance, grief and resilience.

As a recent client testified…

“She has helped me, not only course my way through past and ongoing grief, but major life changes.  She has directed me and given me hope to dream about a fun future for ME.  I can finally feel free to step into the next chapter.” 

Suffering is optional.  You can be resilient and live a fun life that is full of purpose.

If this is resonating with you, let’s schedule a short chat to learn how I can help you navigate what you’re actually trying to skip and identify where you’d like to skip to.

Here’s to a life you don’t need to skip.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

How much do you believe in your dreams?

How much do you believe in your dreams?  Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach can help you define your dreams, your obstacles and strategies to get you where you dream of.

This week I was prompted to question how much I believe in my dreams while listening to the podcast episode How To Believe Harder on Life Coach School podcast by Brooke Castillo.  So, let me ask you, how much do you believe in your dreams?

What are your dreams?

First things first, what are your dreams?  I repeatedly meet with midlife women who are not sure of what they want, some can’t even tell you what they like to do for fun.  

If your go-to response is “I don’t know,” you might feel a little lost and restless.  

On the other hand, you could view this quandary as an exciting time of self discovery!  It’s time to get to know yourself.  

As a self proclaimed master of reinvention, I’ve experienced several personal and career changes.  Because it sucks that change never gets easier, I wrote The Four Stages of Reinvention as a tool for those of you who are in the process of defining your dreams for this next season.  I’d love to send you a copy, or you can order it on Amazon.   

The measure of belief

“If someone is looking at you from the outside, can they tell how much you believe in your dreams?”  Brooke Castillo

Growing up I had little girl dream of a fancy wedding.  I regularly tried on my Mom’s wedding dress as I developed the dream. The 19 year old version of me allowed that dream to die out of an abundance of insecurities.  I spent years regretting the hasty wedding Jeff and I had.  When we celebrated our 25th Anniversary, I planned a story book vow renewal in New Orleans that included a second line jazz band escorting our party through the French Quarter.  As my friends and I marched through streets of New Orleans, one friend commented that it checked off a bucket list item for her.  That day was perfect.  

The difference between me as a young girl of 19 and the woman I became at 44 was that I believed my special day was possible and wouldn’t take “no” for an answer!  

"Believe your dreams are possible and don't take no for an answer."  Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach.

Once you have a clear dream, the measure of belief in that dream is action.  If for instance your dream is to open an Airbnb, does your circle of friends know about your dream?  Have you spent time evaluating property, securing financing, talking to other Airbnb owners, etc.?  Do you believe it’s possible?  

Obstacles

How would you describe where you are in relation to your dreams?  

Congratulations if you completely believe in your dreams and are taking action.  You will tackle any obstacle in your way with your confidence.  

On the other hand, please don’t be surprised by any resistance you feel if you don’t have confidence just yet.  Taking steps to bridge the divide between where you are and where you’d like to be can cause confusion and indecision. 

The dream could be to loose weight, to start a business, to repair relationships, to downsize your home for a simpler life… the thing that all dreams have in common are obstacles.

Crossing the divide

Defining potential obstacles is just as important as having clarity about your dreams.  You can use the perceived obstacles to establish strategies to cross the divide.  

Stop waisting precious time in indecision and confusion. 

You don’t have to feel lost or restless.  If you are interested in clarifying your dreams, obstacles and creating strategies forward, simply schedule a consultation.  

It is my intention for you to believe YOUR best years are ahead!  

Here’s to YOUR next season and realizing the dreams of your heart!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

The amazing resiliency of the human spirit

Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach helping women make it through midlife without a crisis.  In this blog Tiffany helps you discover your resiliency.

I am in awe of the amazing resiliency of the human spirit. 

As I explained in my journal The Four Stages of Reinvention, resiliency is empowering.  

What sucks is that in order to develop resiliency, you must first work through resistance, acceptance and grief.

Each time I walk through the stages I become a better version of myself and am in awe of my ability to bounce back.

Empowerment is possible

It can be hard to move forward if you feel powerless.  

You may feel lonely in your empty nest.  

You may not see what’s next for your life.  

Do you regularly think, “I don’t know?” 

What if you did know? I promise there is hope for your circumstances.  

As I have shared in the past two blogs, Jeff and I spent time in 2020 working on our relationship.  I know what is like to feel disposable, unheard, sad, lonely and in despair.  It didn’t look good.  I was making the whole scenario mean I was unloveable.

At times I felt powerless over my feelings, but looking back I am astounded that we were able to find healing and restore our relationship.  Our relationship is resilient with new communication skills and a better understanding of each other.  And that is empowering.  

How resilient are you?

On a scale from 1 – 10 {10 being a rock star at resilience}, how resilient are you?

Why did you choose that number?

Why are some of us better at resiliency than others?

Don’t waste time in resistance.  

Research has shown that how you define yourself matters. Resistance is usually due to what a person is making the circumstance mean about themselves.

I work with women all the time who long to feel in control of their life.  I’ve helped women process grief, take back their time, learn to ask for what they want in relationships and discover their next steps forward.  They experience resilience once they reframe what their circumstances mean about themselves.  

It’s your time to discover what’s next, on the other side of resistance.  It’s time to be pleasantly surprised by what you learn about yourself.  

You will feel amazing once you learn how resilient you really are.  

I invite you to schedule a chat with me.  We can brainstorm ideas for you to discover YOUR resiliency.  Click here to pick a date/ time that works for you.  

Here’s to a year of discovering the power of resiliency.  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

What is possible

Do you know what is possible?  Who taught you? 

On December 17th 2019 I recorded a Facebook Live that showed up in my memories this week.  Watching this video reminded me that it was Mister Rogers who taught me to believe in possibilities.

Read all the way to the end to learn how committed I am to YOUR possibilities!

His influence on possibilities

Jeff and I had just went to see the long awaited movie A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood.  I have fond memories of watching Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood as a child and was looking forward to learning more about the man.  

I took for granted the role Mister Rogers had in my formative years.  He taught children that they were in control of their thoughts and feelings, and that anything is possible.  

I have always believed in my capacity of creating life on my own terms.  Maybe Mister Rogers put that thought into my head.  

In my blog article, His influence on possibilities, I wondered what I once believed possible as a child.  What did YOU believe was possible as a child?

What if you dared to dream with the innocence of a five year old, AND with the inner strength of the woman you’ve become?

Don’t give up

Mister Rogers never gave up on his personal quest to help children believe in the importance of their thoughts and feelings.  

“It would not be easy, No – for in order to win such a battle, he would have to forbid himself the privilege of stopping, and whatever he did right he would have to repeat, as though were already living in eternity.”  Tom Junod

What will YOU believe is possible for 2022 if you don’t give up? 

We are all connected

“The connections we make in the course of a life—maybe that’s what heaven is, Tom. We make so many connections here on earth. Look at us—I’ve just met you, but I’m investing in who you are and who you will be, and I can’t help it.”  Mister Rogers

I’m so glad we are connected.  I want to take this opportunity to thank YOU for following my journey for the past two years.  I hope you have been inspired along the way to believe in your potential.  

If YOU are new to Flown The Coop…WELCOME! 

My heart is in serving YOU in 2022!  Like Mr. Rogers…I’m investing in who you are and who you will be, and I can’t help it.

To celebrate Christmas I am giving 10 women a copy of my journal, Four Stages of Reinvention with four free coaching sessions.  I want YOU to start 2022 believing in your possibilities.  

The first 10 women to email me their address with the subject line “I believe in possibilities” will get their copy in the mail the first week of January.  eckhardt.tiffany@gmail.com  

Here’s to truly believing in possibilities!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky