Could you be missing the sign?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach helps you see the signs you are missing.  Helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Could it be that you are missing a good sign?

I love a good sign!  

During my time as an antique dealer, I had an affinity for old rusty signs with unusual stories. 

In the fall of 2012, a really fun guy past through my booth at Texas Antiques Week.  He was on the hunt for cool stuff for his new bar on East 6th St., which at the time was an up-and-coming area of Austin.  He liked an old rusty sign with the word Whislers on it, but didn’t commit as he walked off into the fields.  At the end of the day he showed back up to purchase the sign that would become the name his new bar, Whislers.  

I like to think about stories like this when I feel uncertain. The right sign will eventually appear. Or in this case, the right buyer will take the sign home.

Take a drive

Instead of getting frustrated when I experienced writer’s block this week, I put it aside for the day on Saturday.  

Jeff and I drove to Austin to visit our son.  As usual, we were early and had time to kill.  Fortunately, I saw a sign. The Rising Sun Vineyard directional signs led us down a long dirt road that seemed a little iffy at first.  Curious, we continued until it opened up to one of the prettiest drives.  

Following the signs to this beautiful winery was pure serendipity. 

Move towards fun

Fun is often overlooked when feeling uncertain or frustrated.  Stepping away from what is on your mind allows answers to present themselves.  

Roller skate, call a friend, take a drive, get out in nature, watch a funny movie, etc.  

From a relaxed space, you can surrender to the mystery that allows opportunities to appear.  

Discover Enchantment

Getting away by taking a drive or finding fun is the first step.  The second step is to believe that something magical can happen.  

Enchantment is a kin to serendipity, and comes from a willingness to be touched or moved by something magical.

“To all of you who would like more excitement, pleasure, and satisfaction in your lives, please take note:  Enchantment is self-serve.  Opportunities abound, if you are available,”  Victoria Castle.    

If you were more available to the signs, what new possibilities might open up for you?  

Signs are not woo-woo

Looking for magical signs to appear can seem a little too woo-woo for some.  I get that!  

Consider the opposite of enchantment is control.  Needing to feel in control often feels graspy, and is an illusion anyways.  

In my experience, the mystery of life unfolds when I choose to believe in possibilities.  

Remove the fog to see the sign

If your mind-fog is too dense to step towards enchantment or fun, I can help you get clarity.  

Don’t miss the signs.

It often helps to have a listening ear, one who can help you get curious about what’s blocking you.  

I invite you to schedule a consultation with me.  I can lead you to find more excitement and satisfaction in your life.

If you hang out with me long enough, I will convince you that your best years are ahead!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of midlife reinvention and certified life coach.  Tiffany is dedicated to those who are ready to rise above their BS. And  helping you see the signs!

Loving yourself

Loving yourself

Beauty has so many forms, and I think the most beautiful thing is confidence and loving yourself.  ~ Kiesza

The ugly truth is that I have spent a lifetime self loathing and looking for my worth in the eyes of others. 

A beautiful illustration came to me in meditation.  

I was standing on a shore hesitant to join the fun at a swimming hole, watching friends splashing around out in the deep.  As much as I wanted to join the fun, I had reasons for staying on the shore.  The water was too cold.  I don’t like swimming in a lake, and not being able to see what I’m swimming with.  With just enough courage, I dipped my toe in the water.  I thought, Well, that wasn’t so bad.  Eventually I inched into the water waste deep.  Stepping forward was actually refreshing.  All of the sudden I felt empowered to join the laughter and the silliness of friends splashing around in the deep.  

The swimming hole represented a life full of joy, but my beliefs held me on shore.  A few daily affirmations allowed me to dip my toes into belief.  Once I felt comfortable, I was able to develop new beliefs about myself.  And now I have the confidence to shake off the opinions of others and join the fun!  

Beautiful, do you love yourself?

Loving yourself makes you irresistible.  

Cultivating love for yourself is not selfish or egotistical, and is the opposite of self preservation and being needy.

Reversing the negative chatter takes some work.  

It is liberating to reach deep within to meet your needs when you’re alone and bored, at times when relationships are difficult or when you are reaching for a huge goal.  You can have your own back!

What do you believe? 

If we don’t believe we can have what we want, we unconsciously create lifestyles that assure we can’t possibly be fulfilled.   ~Victoria Castel from The Trance of Scarcity

You are the only one who can create the confidence within.  Developing confidence doesn’t have to be a big scary leap at first.  Simply start by having a chat with your image in the mirror.  Tell her where you see value, purpose and beauty.  It might feel weird, but can be a powerful tool into seeing into your soul.  

I do this!  I tell myself regularly that I have the grit and resolve to stand up for what is important to me and to try things that are a bit scary.  These thoughts create a feeling of moxie {just love this word!}.  And that feeling moves me to create the lifestyle that is uniquely me.  

What do you want to believe about yourself?  Your current lifestyle can give you a clue into what you actually believe. 

Block the blockers

You might be blocking what you want.

In my free workbook, Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS, I offer a worksheet that helps you call out your BS with a simple question, is it true?

Others might be blocking you. 

I’m not sure which is harder, blocking your own BS or blocking what you think others are thinking.  A good question to ask yourself, is their opinion relevant?  

Spoiler alert:  the answer is NO.  It is usually BS.  

Need a little help dipping your toe in the water? 

Is this is resonating with you, but seems a bit too hard to imagine genuinely loving yourself?

Let’s get you on the calendar!  

Picking a date on my calendar is a simple step forward, like dipping your toe in the water.  Before long you will be joyfully splashing in the deep. 

Here’s to falling in love with life!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

What about the box?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and a certified life coach... helps you rise above your midlife BS.

Are you an outside the box thinker, or do you play it safe?  Either way, my question is what about the box?

What about the box?

If you have small children in your life, you already know that birthday gifts are great, but it’s the box that excites the child.  

I heard an excellent analogy this week that could be aptly applied to midlife.  

As a child, your parents may have purchased a new appliance that arrived in a huge box.  You know… the kind of box that was transformed once the parents tossed it out.  There was no limits to the scope of imagination for that box.  It could be a rocket ship, a castle or a boat.  Hours, no weeks, were spent creating and recreating that one box.     

The gift of midlife is similar, life just handed you a brand new refrigerator box to play with.  With childlike curiosity and wonder, the box could be anything!

The crisis

I’ve heard numerous reasons to think midlife as a crisis.  Questions haunt you once you’re aware that you’ve entered midlife.  

What will you do now that all the kids have flown the coop?  

Who are you after retirement?  

You question if you can really connect with the person you raised a family with.  

Is it too late to go back to school or learn a new skill?  

The most important question in my book is what do you like to do for FUN?

The Gift

This whole new chapter of your life is a pivot from one season to another, and a chance to really get to know yourself.  With an inquiring mind, allow yourself to playfully explore abundant possibilities.  

Finally, you have the time and finances to explore dreams and interests buried the past few decades.  It’s not too late!  Believe it or not, there are inspiring women advanced in years still going strong. 

Moxie movement

I’m on a roll, literally.  As you read last week, I got my moxie moving by roller skating!  It feels so retro!  

In addition, I’ve focused on the word liberate and shared how you can step into your power.  

If you haven’t yet noticed, I wholeheartedly believe in rising above the midlife BS.  

My goal is to create a #metoomoxie movement!

What about your box?  

This new season doesn’t need to be an identity crisis or lonely. The beauty of midlife is that you can indeed approach midlife as a child with a refrigerator box and invite friends to join you!

Not sure where to start?  I can help!

If this hits close to home, let’s get you on the calendar!  Simply click the link below and choose a date/time that works for you.  

Cheers to embracing the gift of midlife with a Moxie Movement!

Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

3 steps to get your moxie moving

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of Reinvention and Certified Life Coach, helping women get the midlife moxie moving!
Ready. Set. Go!

Do you embody a moxie midlife or do you need help getting your moxie moving?  

I recently had the nerve to take up roller skating.  Inspired by roller skating women of all ages on Instagram REELS attempting to learn tricks, I started to feel a pull to this retro sport.  Y’all know… I have the guts to try anything.  

So, here we are.  I’m creating Instagram REELS documenting my #365skatechallenge and loving every minute.  {Check out my Instagram for the latest goofy REEL}

A moxie movement

I think the word is badass!

Here’s what some of my friends say about moxie:

“Strong willed, driven, grit.” Lisa 

“Power in determination and resolve,” Emily

“Girl power or the power to stand up for yourself,” Sherry

I hope you are saying heck yeah, I’m moxie!

The time has come for a “Me Too” movement for midlife women who want to live with moxie!  You ready? 

#metoomoxie

How do you get your moxie moving?

1. Make shit up 

It is time to stop sleep walking through life.  Start by asking yourself what do I want to do that scares me, but scares me even more not to do?

My guess is that you don’t have to dig deep to find what stirs your soul.  There is something right under the surface you’ve always wanted to do.  

Ok, I get it.  Not everyone will pick up roller skating.  {Although I’d love for you to join the fun}. Maybe learning salsa dancing is more your speed.  Sipping a great cup of coffee with a good book might be your idea of indulgence.

You do you, but do it with great courage.  Your moxie is ready to move!

2.  Massive action

Well, at least think about what action would look like.

Ladies, now that you have spent time thinking about what turns you on, it is time to step into the life you have always wanted.  Get your moxie moving {or step into your power}.

What could you put on the calendar that will get you moving?  Schedule the class, book the flight, find out when the skating rink is open {LOL}, etc.

3. Switch off the shame game

Midlife women with moxie don’t seek permission.   

Have the courage to try the things you’ve always wanted without regard for the opinions of others.  Don’t for a minute feel guilty for wanting something for yourself or worry that you will look ridiculous.  Say to yourself, “I have the guts to try this.”

Master of reinvention

It could be that you feel stuck.  Here is the good news!  I can help.

I earned my self proclaimed title, Master Of Reinvention, by having the moxie to try new things, be willing to think outside the box and believe in possibilities.  

It is my life’s passion to help women move from living vicariously through others.

Are you stirred?  Great!  Let’s get you on the calendar by clicking my calendar link below.  We can chat about how you can tap into your moxie!  

If you hang around with me long enough, I will convince you that your best years are ahead.

Here’s to a moxie midlife!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Step into your power

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach, helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.
STEPPING INTO MY POWER

Life is waiting for you to simply step into your power.

Last week I focused on the word liberate.  As usual, life presented me with an opportunity to grow in liberation.  Fortunately, I was able to take my circumstances to my life coach, who encouraged me to step into my power.  

BTW: Yes, I have a life coach too. 🙋🏼‍♀️

What the heck did she mean by that?

She went on to remind me that our brain’s job is to create the worst case scenario.  Of course, focusing on the tragic side of my circumstances seems familiar, and weirdly safer.

After allowing my brain to do it’s job, I journaled the worse case scenario. 

That was easy, now what?

It’s only fair to give the best case scenario equal time by journaling what I wanted to happen. 

My coach recommended creating my success story.  LOVE THIS!  I thought about all of the successes I’ve accumulated in my 51 years, and then included current goals and my commitment to my future self.

In journaling both best and worse case scenarios, I discovered all of my options and realized that either way I’ll be ok. 

In that a-ha moment, I stepped into my power

What the heck are you waiting for?

This is your life.  Are you who you want to be?  Are you showing up and getting the results you want?  

I will always advocate journaling, but let me offer another resource.  Check out my workbook, Rise Above Your Midlife BS.  This is a free workbook that helps you clarify what you believe, who you are and what you are willing to do to create your life.  Click the link below to get your copy!  

I believe every brain needs a coach.  There is no shame in sharing your thoughts with another person trained to listen.  I appreciate my life coach encouraging me to consider both the worse and the best case scenarios. Once I saw I’d be ok either way, I was able to step into my power.

I love helping midlife women get past their midlife BS and believe their best years are ahead.  

If the idea of stepping into your power excites you, schedule a free session.  This is your chance to see how a life coach can help you improve your relationships, get that job, find love after a midlife divorce, decide what to do with an empty nest, discover what you have in common with your husband, etc.  

Simply click my calendar link below.  

Here’s to stepping into your power!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky. 

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach.  Get your copy of her free workbook Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS
Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Liberated

This week I turned 51 years young, and feel LIBERATED.

lib.er.a.ted

Refusing to live with limitations & expectations.

Tiffany’s definition

The season of birthing children for me is complete, but a life force continues to express itself through my ideas, dreams and inspiration.  

In order to have that freedom, I am liberating myself from expectations and limitations.  

Liberation is not easy

I hope to inspire liberation! But trust me, I am in the arena fighting hard with you.

I never want to give the wrong impression by pretending I don’t have challenges.

I struggle with the opinions of others. I’m not at my ideal weight, or as fit as I want to be.

But, I’m evolving into someone I finally like and respect, and recognize room for more growth.

It only took me 51 years to have my own back. I’ve learned to forgive my inadequacies and appreciate resiliency.

Here’s what I’ve learned after a week journaling about liberation.

1. The first step to becoming liberated in midlife is to truly get to know yourself and decide how you want to show up in this messy world. Forgive yourself, even when others can’t. Learn what makes you come alive.

2. The second step is to come to terms with the expectations of others, understanding how your thoughts effect the relationship. Often times we don’t realize the impact of our own expectations on others. If you struggle with this step, go back to step one.

Liberation comes when you like yourself.

I regularly hear from midlife clients, “what’s the point?” 

God forbid you feel stuck by the limitations of age and wonder if getting older means you had your chance. What can you do to become liberated TOWARDS a future with abundant creativity and independent thought?

Journal to get to know yourself. Check out my Four Journal Prompts article for more ways to explore who you want to become.

What do you like to do for fun? This is a question I started asking myself. Start by making a “fun” list and schedule it into your week. Invite a friend to lunch.  Download the Babble app to learn a new language.  Join a yoga studio.  You do you.  

Are you curious why midlife women need a life coach? 

Fair question.

My clients are restoring relationships, getting new jobs, embracing technology for their businesses, planning dream trips, finding their dream man, and attaining their ideal weight.

Most importantly, they are working towards becoming the women they truly like with an exciting future.

In this season, you deserve to be liberated towards a life that you create. You are worth the hard work.  If you hang around with me long enough, I will convince you that your best years are ahead.

If this is you, schedule a free session to chat about your liberation towards the life you long for.

Here’s to all you ageless goddesses!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Flip The Script

Did you have a familiar script to live by up until now? Are you ready to birth something new at midlife? Here’s a fun exercise to stir those creative juices and to begin to flip the script. 

If your life played out on the big screen, what would the title of your life be?  

Sex In The City

The Housewife of {your town}

Real Women Have Curves

Last Woman Standing

Unfortunately, here are a few midlife titles I hear instead…

I Am Too Old To Attract My Dream Partner

My Empty Nest Is Boring

My body Is In Decline

I Have Never Done That Before

All too often, midlife misconceptions keep women stuck in a script that they didn’t write.  Dear friend, you are capable of far more than you can possibly imagine.  

In fact, you are not doing anyone favors by staying stuck.  You just need to flip the script.  

How do you flip the script?

As the master of reinvention, let me offer you ideas to take charge of your manuscript.

1. Ditch midlife BS

Last week I launched a free workbook, Rise Above Your Own Midlife BS.  The first lesson I teach is to ask the question, is it true?

The simple, yet powerful, question trains your brain to not accept every thought as the truth.  

For instance, you might think that you are too old to reach your ideal weight.  Is that true? Is believing your are too old to be skinny a thought worth keeping?  It’s up to you.  

As the author, it is your decision to keep it or ditch it.  

2. Journal

The daily “trinity thoughts” are useful journal prompts, and will allow you see patterns in your life.  “This exercise will help you remember how important it is to enjoy life instead of just getting through your To Do list.”  ~ Dr. Christiane Northrup. 

1. Something to brag about – wow!  I had a hard time with this one at first.  What are you really proud of?  Can you imagine how good you will feel celebrating daily successes?  

2. Something to appreciate – gratitude is a an attitude everyone could agree on.  Look for something you appreciate about your life, your body and/or your tribe on a daily basis. 

3. Something you desire – OK this is a muscle that needs to be flexed!  I have gotten very clear on what I want in life by answering this daily.  It might be easier to answer what you don’t want, but can you name one thing you desire right now? 

3. Know the what and why, ditch the how

Jeff and I dream of the day when he can finally retire from his career.  To clarify, retirement does not mean an end to projects or adventure.  I envision building more guest homes and scaling my coaching business.  For fun, we both want to hike and travel.  Jeff dreams of cycling across the United States.  Purchasing a RV to see family and friends across the US is a huge part of our dream.

There are many reasons why this dream pulls us, but the main one is to invest more time together and with our family.  When the why is strong enough the how will take care of itself.  

Dr. Martin Luther King had a “I have a dream” speech, not a “I have a how” speech.  Often times, the how chokes your dream.  So, save the plan for later… DREAM!  

Here’s a fun activity to tap into your dream muscle….

1.  Ask yourself, “wouldn’t it be amazing if…”

2.  What comes up for you when you allow your heart to dream?  

3.  Give your dream a title.  The title to YOUR manuscript.  

4.  WHY did you chose that title?  

Do you feel stuck in an old story?

I’d love to help you flip the script and start creating your dream.  

As a certified life coach I am trained in helping you identify the old worn out story that is holding you back.  I am also a master of reinvention.  I’ve been in your shoes and know how to get your journey off on the right footing.  

Schedule a FREE mini session with someone who truly believes YOUR best years are ahead.  

Here’s to YOUR manuscript!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Rise Above Your Midlife BS

Where is the guide to midlife?
Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach, helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Have you found a guide for midlife?  Me neither. Although, I hear a lot of midlife BS. I’m just not ready to accept that midlife means I’m put out to pasture.

The problem my clients encounter is their inability to rise above their midlife bullshit.  Most women don’t even know they are sabotaging themselves.

Up until midlife, your pathway forward is usually laid out for you in a predictable way.  You graduate high school, then off to college or a trade school.  Maybe you went straight into the school of hard knocks, got married and started a family.  What ever path you chose, or was chosen for you, midlife finally offers a the freedom to explore options for the second half of life.  

Do any of the following BS thoughts sound familiar?

I’m too old to reach my ideal weight.

It is too late to find my dream partner.

Why should I start a business at my age?

There is no way I could travel alone.

An empty nest is lonely.

Life will be boring after retirement.

Who is this guy I’ve been married to for thirty years?

It’s inevitable that my health will decline.

I hope I can keep up with my grandkids. 

Which thoughts stand out to you?  Don’t beat yourself up over any of them.  It takes a lifetime to develop ways to sabotage yourself.    

I’m here to help you.  

After becoming aware of some of my own BS, I have created a workbook with thought provoking activities that will challenge your misconceptions about midlife and encourage you to try new things.

Finally, your pathway for a midlife pivot in less than an hour: a guilt free guide to rise above your own bullshit, even if you have a lifetime of BS to rise above.  

The best part is it is FREE!

Click the link below to get started!  

Here’s to the midlife adventure!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Why can’t you just get over it?

Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention.  Certified life coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.
Me… pulling up my big girl panties.

Why can’t you just get over it, if I can’t? The idea that a life coach has it all together and never experiences negative feelings is one of the biggest misconception I have encountered as a life coach.  As much as I would like to avoid unwanted emotions, I must confess that I experience ALL the good/bad and the ugly feelings available to the human race!  

Living in the Texas Tundra this past week has pushed all my buttons, and it got ugly!

During a coaching session with my coach {yes… coaches get coached!}, I bemoaned my dire situation living without water and experiencing rolling blackouts in frigid conditions.  I was heartbroken over canceling a trip to see my grandkids in Michigan.  I hadn’t taken a shower in four days!  

My coach patiently listened and then asked me what do you need right now?  I didn’t know.  I was just so angry!  She reminded me that I might need to stop resisting the anger and sit with awhile.  

It seems contrary to allow a “bad” emotion.  Aren’t we taught to pull up our big girl panties, stuff our emotions and quickly replace unwanted feelings with positivity?  

You might think there is something wrong with you and want to hide the ugly. The problem is the more you resist an emotion, the more power you give it.  

I should just get over it.

I should be able to get over it and pull up those damn big girl panties.

Friends, please don’t “should” yourself.  Feelings are apart of the human experience. 

It is actually not helpful to resist, justify or avoid the negative feelings.  Beating yourself up compounds the negativity.  You are not a bad person for experiencing a “bad” emotion.  

What you need in a funk is compassion.  Don’t be upset about being upset.  Simply think to yourself, Of course I feel….  

One of my clients was experiencing grief from the loss of her father, and anger over all the details left for her to sort through.  She had an a-ha moment when I gave her permission to grieve, and offered that of course she was angry.  Her grief may not totally go away, but she became aware of how it showed up for her, and sometimes it was with anger.  

In my situation, of course I was angry.  Busted pipes, no heat, and the isolation of being stuck inside is frustrating.  The more I tried to talk myself out of being mad, the more I actually perpetuated the anger.  

Sit with it.  

Allowing your feelings to exist takes practice, but once you get good at it you’ll be less likely to drink a bottle of Merlot to avoid the feeling.  

Caution:  I’m not talking about indulging an emotion.  Some women believe that worry is not only necessary but a badge of honor.  I’m suggesting for you to become the witness of your feelings.

A feeling is basically a vibration in your body caused by a thought.  You can become the observer of the feeling and not the reactor. 

Get curious about it.  Can you describe the feeling and where it is showing up in your body?  Does it feel like a rapid heart beat?  Is it a gut feeling?  How is your body responding to this feeling?

Instead of pushing it away, breath with it.  

What do you notice?  Can you begin to acknowledge that the feeling is harmless, simply a vibration that will eventually pass?  

Let it go.

When you identify the feeling and allowed it, you take the power away from it.  

This is a game changer.  You are no longer under the control of the unwanted emotions, but are in control of them.  

It is likely that once the feeling looses it’s power, it melts away and you will feel lighter.  

If it persists, ask yourself how do I want to feel?  

I had a thought that turned my mood around, When you argue for your misery you get to keep it.  Why was I arguing for my misery???

When my coach asked me, “What do you need?”  I needed to feel safe, cared for, assured that it was all going to work out.  Staying mad at my situation was not going to produce the feelings of peace I longed for.  I was able to look for the bright side after sitting with the anger and a proper cry. 

Giving you permission

I am the first to admit that I can be a pill.  I have irrational thoughts, stubborn beliefs and outbursts that I wish to avoid.  Becoming a life coach does not make me immune. 

Thankfully, I have learned how to accept crazy and unwanted feelings with compassion, knowing I have the tools to process them in a healthy way.    

I also acknowledge that some emotions are not an easy fix.  If you are be dealing with abuse or addiction, I highly recommend getting the help of a therapist.  

My intention is to give you permission to be human.  Feel all the feels that life has to offer.  Embrace the idea that occasionally you will feel uncomfortable and unwanted emotions.  

How could you possibly experience bliss if you didn’t also know that awful exists?  

I love helping women embrace life using the tools that I’ve learned.  If you need help working through this messy life, I’d love to chat!  Schedule a FREE session!  It is a one time Zoom call to see if hiring a life coach is a good fit for you.  Simply click the link below and pick a date/time that works for you.  

Here’s to being human and throwing away the damn big girl panties!

~Tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Question: Has beating yourself up ever motivated you to change?

Tiffany Eckhardt, Master of Reinvention and certified life coach helping midlife women to believe their best years are ahead.
Pretty scary… LOL!

I wonder if beating yourself up ever motivated you to change. Let me explain…

As I headed to my morning Restorative Yoga class last week, I began beating myself up for ditching my fitness and eating protocol.  GEESH, why did I ditched my routine back August, 2020???  I could blame it on the emotional roller coaster of current events, or on family vacation, or on the holidays, but I knew deep down that I couldn’t blame my lack of fitness on any circumstance.  

As I drove myself to yoga the mental beat down continued.  Why had I let myself go?  I had lost interest and the energy to be dedicated to a work out routine. I was aware that beating myself up was not an effective way to get back on track, but couldn’t get a grip on the condemning thoughts that had taken up residency in my mind.  

Restorative yoga was the perfect place for me to take refuge.  I was forced to quiet my mind and enjoy taking care of my body.  As I nestled into the practice a paradigm shift happened.  I thought to myself why not try loving yourself into shape?  

Wait what?  Love myself into shape?  YES, of course.  The reason I want to be in the best shape of my life is so that I can enjoy longevity and an active life.  I reminded myself to take a deep breath.  It is possible to get back into shape.  You aren’t a lost cause.  In fact, last year you whipped your body into shape and enjoyed the process!  

My mantra came to mind:  I love choosing her 2021!  I’ll choose the woman that is both compassionate and completely capable of getting in shape. 

So, where did I begin loving myself into shape?

Create tiny habits

In the book Tiny Habits The Small Changes That Change Everything,  BJ Fogg explains a concept that has revolutionized my approach to creating feel good habits.  He suggests that our bad habits are not character flaws, but behavior designs that can be addressed in tiny steps.  In other words, we are not the problem our approach to change is.

Oh good, you can finally stop beating yourself up!

In his research, Fogg discovered three things that will create lasting change; epiphany, change environment, and change habits in tiny ways.   He goes on to explain tiny is fast, can start now, is safe, can grow big, and most importantly does not rely on motivation or will power.  

I created a tiny habit that is getting me back into planking form.  I make coffee using the pour over method.  It creates a great cup of java, but takes a little bit of time with each cup.  I’m usually barely functional when I make my first cup of coffee, but have a pep in my step by the second cup.  So, while I wait for my second pour over to brew, I set the microwave alarm for one minute and plank in my kitchen.   I then pat myself on the back and think, just a little habit that I can build upon.  Yep, it definitely feels like loving myself back into shape.  

Identify obstacle thoughts in advance

It is human nature to sabotage your best made plans.  We know what we “should” do.  But friends, please don’t “SHOULD” yourself.  Simply identify how you will likely sabotage yourself in advance.

You know yourself better than anyone else.  If you are honest there are times when you don’t feel like doing the thing that gets you closer to your goal.  You can use the Tiny Habit method to create habits, but there will be times when your mind will get highjacked.  

Identifying obstacle thoughts gives you an opportunity to create a strategy.  

For example:  At the get go, I am always enthusiastic about an exercise plan.  However, there are mornings that I would rather avoid the discomfort of working out.  My tendency is to think of a million other things that need to be done and skip the workout.  I KNOW these thoughts do not produce the result I am hoping for.  

To combat the obstacle thoughts, I have chosen two replacement thoughts:  

  1. I don’t negotiate with myself.  
  2. I love to choose her.  

Bonus thought:  I am a girl who loves exercise.  I truly believed this thought prior to August 2020.  I know I can work towards this thought again, because I love the girl who loves exercise. 🧘🏼‍♀️🚴‍♂️🚣‍♀️ 

The struggle is real

No need to beat yourself up.  You are not alone in resistance to change.  The struggle is real for everyone with a desire to create something new.  

Seriously, as I just passed the mirror I was tempted to make a mental note on how my sweater made me look huge.  Luckily, I stopped in mid sentence to think instead Tiff you are working on it.  It won’t take long before your in bathing suit condition!  

There are definitely steps you can take.  Tiny habits and identifying obstacle thoughts in advance are great places to start.  Hiring a life coach will also help you rise above your BS to create change in your life.   

If this is resonating with you, schedule a FREE session.  This is a risk free opportunity to answer your questions about life coaching.

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If I leave you with anything, I hope you will stop beating yourself up!  You have the power to create your life and are absolutely capable of change, but do it from a place of genuine love.  

So, here’s to loving ourselves into shape!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach