What is keeping you stuck

Posted on May 23, 2022 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach, helping women make it through midlife without a crisis. In this blog, she talks about not being a pansy, but a dandelion.

I’ve been journaling about my inability to get in shape. Well, you can’t actually get in shape if you are avoiding exercise and having too many cocktails. What is keeping me stuck?

I vacillate between dreading the workouts and loathing myself for not doing the workouts, two sides of the same coin… shame.

Thoughts are self-fulling prophesies. Somewhere along the way I had a thought that this should be easy.

When it is not easy, it becomes easier to to avoid, to retreat from my goals and to give up.

I’m not a pansy. I’m a dandelion.

The thought that I am not a pansy… I am a dandelion will kick my butt back in shape.

Feel free to use the thought too, especially if you feel stuck.

You have done hard things, so have I.

Pansies represent loving feelings, but as a delicate flower has a reputation for weakness.

Dandelions are determined and can grow anywhere in any condition. Although this flower is considered a weed, it has been used to symbolize light, hope, and healing for centuries. Blowing on dandelion puffs feels playful, offering a hint of longevity as the seeds of hope are spread on the wind.

Can you see yourself as a dandelion?

Do you feel determined to become the woman you can admire, or are you avoiding the desires of your heart because you think it should be easier?

I am going on record. I’m officially ditching the narrative that it should be easier and embracing the discomfort of getting back in shape. I value longevity and wellness, standing strong and being proud of how I show up for life. I am worth the effort… and so are you!

Let’s cheer each other on!

You are not a delicate flower and can do hard things too!

You’re a dandelion, the underdog of humble strength that offers abundant hope.

If this resonates with you, let’s cheer each other on. I’d love to hear about your journey.

However, if you are vacillating between dread and loathing yourself, I can help you! My clients are experiencing success in becoming the hero of their own story. It helps to have someone listen to your story and help you see where you are stuck, and then get you on the road to creating the life YOU really want.

I invite you to schedule a consultation… a chat to see if working with me is a good fit for your journey. Simply reach out to me or use my calendar link to pick a time/date that works for you.

Here’s to becoming a strong, determined dandelion.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky

The art of living intentionally

Posted on May 15, 2022 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt helps women make it through midlife without a crisis. She believes in the are of living intentionally. She can help you too!

Whoo hoo, you made it to midlife! No doubt that you’ve done hard things along the way, but the journey doesn’t end when you send your adult children off into the world or the day after your retirement party. In fact, it is time to get serious about the art of living intentionally and create the life you always dreamed.

So, what are you waiting for?

Recently I signed up for an online DIY chair reupholster class. I have a longstanding chair addiction and always wanted to learn how to reupholster. I claimed that I didn’t have time to learn, but the idea of sucking at it held me back for years. What the heck? Now I have plenty of time to get past sucking at it.

Learning is loving yourself

A love of learning keeps you young. With each new challenge, you become a better version of yourself. Each new goal forces you to learn new skills and step outside your comfort zone.

What opportunities exist for you to challenge yourself, try something that you’ve always wanted to?

Midlife is your gift to explore all those interests you’ve thought about in the carpool line or sitting through an endless zoom call that could have been handled in an email. What were your day dreams?

Turn those daydreams into reality.

Dream like you did when you were five years, but imagine yourself living your dream five years in the future.

Here are a few journal prompts to spark your imagination.

Make a list of at least twenty five things you’ve always wanted to do.

What skills will you need to learn?

What habits will help you achieve your dream?

Who do you need to connect with?

Cringe worthy

So, who cares if I suck at reupholstery? I’ll share my journey even if it’s cringe worthy. The truth is any skill can be learned. In the process of sharing my journey, I hope to inspire you to step into a new challenge.

If you are feeling hesitant, I’d love to help you with the art of living intentionally.

I can help you identify the real reason you aren’t stepping into a fun future. Once you remove all the excuses and fears, you’ll be free to create the life you always dreamed.

What are you waiting for? I invite you to schedule a chat with me… it gives you an idea of how coaching can help you to feel excited about midlife and get you moving past the emotions of starting something new.

It is my intention that you believe your best years are ahead.

Here’s to sucking at something new… only to discover new things about myself!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Choose Yourself

Posted on May 8, 2022 by tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, certified life coach and master of reinvention... want you to learn to choose you in midlife!

How often do you choose yourself? A common theme with the women I coach is learning to make yourself a priority in midlife. Some clients are learning to take back their time, while others are making this their time to shine.

Choosing yourself is about finding significance in the opinion you hold of yourself. ~Tiffany

Significance is not selfish, it’s one of the eight basic human needs. I promise developing a healthy opinion does not make you a narcissist.

The real problem is people expect their needs to be met by others, wether the need is solving loneliness, feeling heard or finding purpose.

So, it is not surprising when you find yourself disappointed with people or circumstances, especially when they are not meeting your needs.

Choosing me is hard

I hate inconveniencing others and tend to project my feelings or expectations onto others.

When I make decisions based on how it will affect the people around me, even when it is not in my best interest, I then tend to expect others to consider how their decisions will affect me.

As I regularly preach, other people are not thinking of you. They are busy meeting their own needs… a vicious cycle that is broken when you learn to meet your own needs, to choose yourself.

A priority

After a recent fight with my husband, that revolved around making plans without discussing it first, this thought hit me like a ton of bricks.

How can I feel like a priority when the opinion I hold of myself is squat.

The fear of being unlovable or unworthy is very common, and not surprising that I caught myself in this pattern of belief. I was making the plans my husband made mean I was not a priority, which was not what he meant at all.

Had I realized that I was triggered by the thought I was not a priority, I might have approached the topic completely different.

Find freedom

It is my intention for you to believe that your best years are ahead and midlife is a precious gift, a time to find your significance in your own opinion.

If you have a healthy self worth, good for you! We need more people like you in the world. By valuing yourself, you walk in freedom and no one has to live up to your expectations.

However, if you struggle with significance like I do, there is freedom for you too.

Start acknowledging when you’re looking to outside influences to gain the value you seek.

Learn to speak up for yourself.

Believe your time is valuable.

See your gifts are priceless.

Start to choose yourself.

I can help you traverse the web of thoughts ingrained in your opinion of yourself and create new ones that will empower you to move forward into an exciting, fun future.

I invite you to schedule a free consultation. Let’s chat about how working with me will help you create a healthy opinion of yourself. I want to learn where you are at, and where you’d like to be in life.

Here’s to finding significance in the opinion you hold of yourself! And choosing to believe in your worth!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Opportunities for resiliency

Posted on May 2, 2022 by tiffany

Have you ever felt rode hard and put up wet? That feeling is a clear sign that it is time to check-in, take stock and evaluate what you want to create for yourself and acknowledge the opportunity for resiliency.

This morning I woke up with achey legs and feeling acidic. My health and wellness is suffering from months under the pressure of planning a wedding, which by the way turned out perfect. I skipped yoga and indulged in evening cocktails as I tried to turn off the constant to-do list in my head.

As I clean up the wedding whirlwind and a fun-filled week with my grandkids, thoughts of resiliency pop in my head.

I feel exhausted, but it is time to focus on the life I want and who I want to be.

Here are my random thoughts on resiliency.

Messes clean up.

Weight gained can be lost.

Hearts mend.

The human body bounces back to wellness if taken care of.

Kids will grow up, get married and have kiddos… and I continue to thrive (when I choose to).

Opportunities for resilience

Being aware of your resiliency is empowering.

I am run down, out of shape and gained belly fat in the process, but I will not to hang out in self deprivation.

This is just another opportunity to prove that I am resilient and can become a better version of me in the process.

Opportunities for you to prove your resiliency exist too.

Focus on the future

A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step, or in this case a thought.

Start developing a dream of what you want for your life and how you want to show up.

Start dreaming with the innocence of a five year old, but with the inner strength of the woman you will become five years in the future.

Decide what you want to believe about yourself.

Don’t be shy about asking for help!

It is my intention that you believe your best years are ahead. I help women discover they are resilient and create the life they really want.

I’d love to help you navigate your opportunities for resiliency.

Reach out to me! I offer a free consultation. Simply click on my calendar link and choose a date and time that works for you.

Don’t waste any more precious time stuck! You are more resilient that you realize.

And you don’t have to feel alone. It always helps to talk through your opportunity for resiliency with someone who is great at listening and can ask the right questions.

Here’s to being resilient and thriving!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

Seeds of potential

Posted on April 10, 2022 by tiffany

Yes, I am still obsessed with spring and gardening. I can’t help it. Lately, I’ve been focusing on my wheel house, where my seeds of potential lie in my natural gifts and talents. I want you to discover your seeds of potential!

If you have followed me for any length of time, you will know I am a huge proponent of journaling. Through journaling I discovered that I feel alive and find purpose in creating spaces, offering hospitality and inspiring others to live BIG lives.

Making decisions about how I invest my time is so easy now, as long as it falls into one of the three areas of my wheel house. And to be clear, my wheel house looks more like a green house than a boat. In this space I can nurture so many seeds of potential.

Calibrate to your seeds

I recently listened to Ester Hicks describe calibration and it blew me away. What you focus on is your point of attraction for your life.

Let that sink in.

I want YOU to calibrate to your seeds of potential. Start by honestly and with curiosity, journaling questions posed by Ester Hicks.

Am I focused or confused?

Do I feel rooted in a broader understanding or flailing around in the unknown?

What are my strong desires and do I support these desires?

Do I believe I inherently know where the solutions are to my desires?

However you answer the above questions is your point of attraction, and what will likely sprout in the garden of your life.

Offering grace

If your honest answers revealed that you are flailing around in confusion and neglecting your desires, let me offer you grace in that now you can understand what you don’t want and focus on what you want.

“Remember, having faith means recognizing the value of what you are here to contribute to the world and allowing your actions to be grounded in that truth.” ~Marie Forleo

You have special gifts that only you can contribute to the world. Within your wheel house lies seeds of potential that will grace your life with so much purpose.

If you find yourself unable to recognize your uniques gifts or worry your potential has gone fallow, I can help you find clarity to move towards your FUN future.

I invite you to schedule a chat with me to explore your seeds of potential. Simply click on my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you.

Here’s to flourishing in your own unique wheel house, nurturing your seeds of potential!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Suffering is optional

Posted on March 27, 2022 by tiffany

This week I turned 52, the expected time frame for a midlife crisis. However, I believe that suffering is optional because age is just a number.

You have the power to cultivate any outlook on life you want. I love birthdays!

I was born in 1970 and am consider Gen X, the lost generation. Who decides these things? I don’t feel lost. Do you?

Funny thing is I can never remember how old I am, which is ridiculous given the easy math, but I also can never remember what day it is either.

Jeff thinks it’s intentional. Maybe it is. LOL!

How do you view birthdays?

Do you love birthdays? If you don’t, what about a birthday makes you cringe?

Does aging mean you loose purpose, as if the older you get the less meaning you have to others?

Are you worried about being alone? Loneliness is a real challenge for empty nesters.

Is your health the issue that has you loosing sleep at night?

Your best years are ahead

While I recognize the down side of aging, I truly believe that there is way more to celebrate with each new year.

The truth is you have the power to create wellness and take control of your health. I am living proof of this! No dairy? Jeff found vegan red velvet cupcakes for me… there’s always a solution.

You can learn to love your own company, another thing I have cultivated in my own life.

Learning and investing in your growth never stops at a certain age. Each new year is another opportunity to discover new things about yourself.

The secret sauce is to discover your purpose and find meaning in this season. You will then begin to loose track of time and love birthdays, as you truly believe your best days are ahead.

Suffering is optional?

You seriously don’t have to indulge in suffering about your age or any other limiting belief. If you are feeling sad or lonely I get it! I still get lonely at times, and am sad that my house isn’t full of irreverent teenagers. But…

“If you could only sense how important you are in the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” Fred Rogers

I can help you walk through the real emotions that downsizing, or an empty nest can generate. I understand the stages of change that you are dancing through, but I also know how to get you from resistance to resilience.

Don’t waste any more time yearning for purpose or meaning in this season!

You might be thinking that I don’t understand your situation. Try me!

I invite you to schedule a chat with me… it is so easy! Simply follow my calendar link and pick a date/time that works for you. I’d love to learn about your journey, where you are and where you’d like to be.

Your best years are ahead and suffering is optional.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.

What is your story?

Posted on March 21, 2022 by tiffany

This week I enjoyed a visit with my neighbor, who saw me sitting on my front porch and stopped by for a chat. Porch sitting feels like a thing of the past, but impromptu chats with neighbors seems even more rare. She told me that lately she has been curious about people’s stories.

Everyone has one. What is your story?

She wondered if anyone takes the time to ask people to share their story. Recently a local business owner even seemed surprised when she asked about her story.

Has anyone asked about your story?

What would you share?

Would you only tell the expected chapters, or would you delve into the nitty gritty?

After being on the planet around five decades, there are too many chapters to choose from.

Where would you begin?

Storyworth

My daughter gifted me a Storyworth subscription for Christmas. Every Monday for a whole year I will be emailed a question about my life. At the end of the year they will put it all together in a book I can purchase.

I was touched that my daughter was interested in knowing more about me.

{insert ugly cry}

I’m not an affiliate for this company, but I think this is an excellent idea!

Here are some of the questions I’ve been asked:

What is your favorite childhood story?

What was your Mom/Dad like? Grandparents? First Boss?

What would you save if your house was on fire? – EEKS THIS WAS HARD!

What do you consider your motto?

Favorite subject in high school?

Best job you ever had?

Today’s question is.. are you a regular at any of your local restaurants or cafes? What is that relationship like?”

Heartbreaking realization

It feels a bit sad to me that as a society we’ve lost the connection of neighbors, but what is even more heartbreaking is that many women have lost a connection to their story.

A Harvard Business Review article on human potential said that the #1 reason you don’t reach your potential is that you don’t know yourself.

You many not even know how to connect to your story, to make peace with it or to move forward to create the story you’ve always wanted.

What the world needs is more porch sitting

Maybe my neighbor is onto something by making a point of stopping to visit a neighbor sitting on her front porch, and to care enough to wonder about her story.

Everyone has one. What is your story?

I love having the opportunity to listen to women’s stories, and help them make peace with their numerous chapters.

My intention is that you believe your best years are ahead.

Do you feel stuck, unheard or maybe you just feel lonely? Are you afraid that your best years are in the past? Where are you in your story, and where would you like to be?

I invite you to schedule a chat with me using my calendar link, then choose a date/time that works for you. The very best part of my role as a life coach is to help you create a life you’ve always wanted.

Here’s to connecting to your story and believing your best days are ahead!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

What does reinvention mean to you?

Posted on March 14, 2022 by tiffany

What does reinvention mean to you? Could it simply mean change?

The only constant in life is change. ~Heraclitus

Generation X, those born between 1965 and 1980, are also called the lost generation. If you are a GenXer, you work hard, are loyal and follow the expected course. You might not understand the millennials work ethics because your approach to change is very calculated.

Midlife, the central period of life, is full of heartbreaking change that many are not prepared for. I’d like to propose that it is an exciting time of reinvention, a time to get lost on a path that you’ve always dreamed of taking. A time to fly free!

How will you show up for change?

After I graduated high school, I enlisted in the AirForce. I had little direction in my life, and thought it would be an adventure. My high school career was rocky, I never felt like I fit in with any one group. When I got to tech school, I felt freedom to be anyone I wanted. So, I walked into our community room with a newfound confidence and proclaimed, “I am going to the movies, would anyone like to go with me?”

Jeff took me up on that offer… and the rest is history.

I want you to envision the season of midlife the same way I did as an Airman out of basic training. You’ve followed the predictable path and now you are entering a new room, or season of life. How do you want to show up?

Do you feel lost?

As a member of the lost generation, do you feel unprepared for this season of your life?

It sucks that change never seems to get easier.

As a self proclaimed master of reinvention, I have changed course numerous times in my lifetime. That doesn’t mean that I became a totally different person, but that I simply tried a different approach to life.

Looking back through my journals, I discovered there were predictable stages that I went through with each change.

The Four Stages of Reinvention

That is why I wrote the journal, The Four Stages of Reinvention. Here’s a little video I created to explain the journal…

Join me

This Wednesday, March 16th at 1pm CST I will offer a class on The Four Stages of Reinvention. I’d love for you to join me!

This class will be a zoom call with like minded women who feel a little unprepared for this season of life. I will walk you through the 4 stages and offer a few journal prompts and practices along the way.

It’s a free class!

To join the class, REGISTER HERE. Once you register, you will be given a zoom link for the class.

Here’s to flying free into the next season of life with confidence!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Can we skip to the good part?

Posted on March 6, 2022 by tiffany

Skip to the good part

As I walk through my garden bursting with signs of new life, one thing I know for sure is that you can’t rush spring, or skip to the good part.

I want to plant a seed and then skip to harvesting a beautiful array of cutting flowers, fruits and vegetables. I want to feel accomplished and enjoy the rewards of my hard work, without doing the work.

In what areas of your life are you rushing? Have you found yourself wishing, “can we skip to the good part?”

We’ve spent our lives skipping to the good part

In high school you were most likely in a hurry to graduate, then off to college. After high school or college, you might have been in a hurry to get married, and then the house and kids.

Most parents rush their children’s milestones, in a hurry for their precious baby to crawl, walk and talk. And then spend the rest of their lives telling them to sit down and hush.

How many seasons did you rush? In hindsight, every season was the good part!

This song by AJR eloquently explains it all… The Good Part.

Will I know I’ve made it?

Although 20 years of raising a family seems like a long time, in the end it went too fast.

Are you considering these nagging questions…

Have you made it? Was this always the goal? Now what?

Did you skip the good part?

The danger for empty nesters is the temptation to habitually look to the past for your identity.

Can you skip the unwanted feelings?

One of the latest trends for Instagram REELS is using the song by AJR to show how people want to skip to the good part. My favorite one is a husband who is digging a trench. The wife asks, can we skip to the good part? He answers, NO! Jeff and I relate to that REEL as he just trenched our back yard for a water line, a couple months before our son’s wedding that we are hosting.

I’m the screaming wife… Check out the REEL!

Are you the screaming midlife woman with an empty nest, who just wants to skip to feeling certain of the future? Your empty nest feels lonely. You’re not sure where you’ll skip to, but you’d like to skip the heaviness of unwanted feelings.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news. You can’t skip the work involved in cultivating a new life, but it’s work wether you stay stuck or dig in.

The resistance

It’s natural to avoid the discomfort of new growth, but when you resist it you suffer.

The best part of an empty nest is that you have plenty of time to dig into what makes you tick and cultivate something new. You can grow stronger as you learn to dance with resistance, acceptance, grief and resilience.

As a recent client testified…

“She has helped me, not only course my way through past and ongoing grief, but major life changes. She has directed me and given me hope to dream about a fun future for ME. I can finally feel free to step into the next chapter.”

Suffering is optional. You can be resilient and live a fun life that is full of purpose.

If this is resonating with you, let’s schedule a short chat to learn how I can help you navigate what you’re actually trying to skip and identify where you’d like to skip to.

Here’s to a life you don’t need to skip.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Joy, is it possible in this f’cking chaotic world?

Posted on February 25, 2022 by tiffany

Is joy possible in a chaotic world? Tiffany Eckhardt, master of reinvention and certified life coach shares how joy is possible.

Amid the horrific world news we are bombarded with, how do you stay focused on truly living? Is joy possible in this f’cking chaotic world?

I had intended to give you a pep talk on joy from the vantage point of pursuing your midlife dreams.

My intention is to help you believe your best days are ahead, but that message just doesn’t feel right this week. Let’s face it… the world seems to be rapidly falling apart. {even though some of us have seen the writing on the wall}

Thriving in the fresh hell

In the early days of the pandemic, I decided to invest my time in thriving, believing it was not only possible to thrive, but necessary and worth it. I read books, created a victory garden, walked barefoot, etc. In 2021 I got honest about the fresh hell and the roller coaster we were riding.

Life doesn’t stop for a world crisis. On top of the world falling apart, there will be daily challenges, decisions to make, sadness from the loss of a loved one, weddings… the ebb and flow of life.

I fully understand that the only way I can truly live is to not allow the current events to jade me. Optimism thrives in joy and love.

Can joy become your superpower?

Wonder Woman once said, “It is about what you believe and I believe in love. Only love will truly save the world.”

I agree with Wonder Woman. Joy, love and happiness is even more critical, notwithstanding a chaotic world.

This world needs real life super heroes with joy being a superpower.

Feelings

“Happiness {joy} cannot be pursued, it ensues.” ~Victor Frankl

Pure joy slips in when you are open to feeling a wide range of emotions.

Are you aware of what you are actually feeling and why? Turn off the news, put your phone down for a minute and breath through your emotions.

I teach my clients to allow their emotions and learn from them.

Truth is that no one has the right to tell you how you to feel. Maybe you want to be mad for a time.

I’m not suggesting you indulge in anger, but allow the emotions to flow through you.

Learning this skill will give you superpowers.

Dare to engage in life.

The daily barrage of fresh hell has taught me that no one is coming on a white horse to save me or the world.

You have to become your own super hero.

I won’t be made useless or be idle with despair. I will gather myself around my faith. For light does the darkness fear. ~Jewel.

Like Jewel, I refuse to made useless by fear.

Joy ensues when you are engaged in creating your life from the inside and are willing to do the work to cultivate your superpower and celebrate the daily wins, however small they may be

When was the last time you noticed joy?

Pay attention.

My grandkids are experts at being joyously engaged in life. First of all they are willing to experience all the emotions. No one has to wonder what they feel. One minute everyone is happy, the next minute a melt down can happen for no apparent reason. And then life returns to normal once they had a very dramatic cry about it. I also admire their never ending curiosity. Each day brings a new adventure in learning and exploring is their full time job. Finally, I noticed that they know exactly what they want at all times and they seem to be singleminded about their desires.

Do you want to stand in your superpowers during these chaotic days? Are you willing to feel all the emotions life has to offer, even during conflict? Do you believe that joy is possible?

As one of my clients put it, you might need to help unleashing feelings and thoughts that you don’t even realize are holding you back.

Here’s your invitation to stand in your superpower.

Schedule a call with me. It’s as easy as choosing a time/date on my calendar that works for you.

Here’s to boldly engaging in YOUR superpowers.

The world needs YOU right now.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!