Be unrealistic about age and get what you want

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping women believe their best years are ahead.  Be unrealistic and get what you want.
“You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream.” C.S. Lewis

Now that you’ve entered the season labeled midlife, do you fear it’s unrealistic to create something new at your age?  

Many clients of mine share a fear that age limits their ability to create something new.  I believe the opposite.  Your best years are ahead.  Finding yourself at the end of one season is an exciting opportunity to make decisions about life in the next season.   

Of course you are capable of learning new things and creating your life as you would like it to be.  

According to Marie Forleo, “Everything is figure-outable.”  

What if being unrealistic IS the answer to creating something new?  

What is the first thing your mind offers when you decide to create something new?  All the reasons it can’t work, all the reasons it isn’t a good idea and all the reasons it isn’t reasonable.  Yep, your mind is very clever in keeping you safe and secure. 

When you spend your time considering all that your brain offers, you fail ahead of time.  You stop yourself before you even get started.

So, trick you brain.  Agree with it.  Don’t give it anything to argue with.  

Agree with your brain that your new idea might not work, there will be obstacles and it could be completely unrealistic.  Decide to appreciate all the lessons and proceed anyways.    

Remind your brain the only way to create anything new is through trail and error.  

The fail factor

Should we fail on purpose?  Of course not!   

Brooke Castillo teaches in her eight week Business Course there are two different types of failures, escape failures and worthy failures.  

Escape failures 

Are you curios about why you don’t keep your word or follow through with your decisions?  Escape failures are a form of avoiding what is needed to realize your new creation and choosing to fail ahead of time.  

Examples:

  • Making excuses for not following through with a commitment
  • Indulging in confusion about the next step
  • Changing your mind
  • Not planning ahead of time, protecting your calendar
  • Any form of perfection is an escape failure
  • Waiting until your ready or have learned every aspect  

Worthy failures

Worthy failures are not caused by inaction, but by taking a step forward.

“We were never taught to fail.  We are taught that F’s are bad growing up.  This programming has contributed to steering away from starting things and changing,”  Brooke Castillo.  

For example, this past week I conducted my first FREE workshop on Self Appreciation.  I spent hours deciding what to teach, gathering information, putting it into an understandable form, etc.  I enthusiastically marketed the workshop, but only had a couple people show up to the live event.  Was that a failure?  NO!  No, it was not a failure.  I learned better ways to approach the next workshop and will continue to market the replay, which will reach untold amount of women.  

You can check our my Self Appreciation Workshop by clicking here: SELF APPRECIATION WORKSHOP

Never tried.

Ever failed.

No matter.

Try again.

Fail again.

Fail better.

Samuel Beckett

Get crystal clear

There will never be an age limit to creating something meaningful, but take time to get crystal clear about what you wish to create.  

  • Define: What does it feel like once you create it?  Who will benefit from your creation?  
  • Objections: What makes it unrealistic?  Go ahead and let your mind offer you the objections.  
  • Solutions:  Then answer the objections with, “That objection is true, but…”  What skills will you need to create it?  

Basically, allow your mind to define what you want to create, the obstacles in your way, and strategies to solve them ahead of time.  

BE unrealistic, a challenge

Let’s be honest, being a little unrealistic sounds like a fun challenge.   

I’d like to challenge you to a worthy fail.  Well, not just one.  I’d like to challenge you to write out 25 worthy failures you are willing to take action on.  First brainstorm all the ways you could take action that will likely fail.  From the brainstorm, pick 25 that you will commit to and then put the 25 worthy fails on your calendar.    

Taking this challenge will inspire you to take the first step.  By simply taking action, you will learn everything is figure-outable!  

Let me help you!

I love working with midlife women who are ready to believe their best years are ahead.  It is not a time to avoid the hard things, it is a time to embrace them with the self confidence earned at this age.

This past week I had the privilege to coach a beautiful spunky woman in her sixties who was was considering a new idea.  We worked through her thoughts, feelings and actions around the idea.  Afterwards I asked her what she thought she would be creating as a result.  She lit up and said, “a new career!”  

Sometimes you just need to be able to work through all the thoughts, feelings and obstacles to believe in the possibility.    

If you are ready to break some of your own limitations, let me help you!  Schedule a FREE mini session.  It’s a 45 minute chat with someone who truly believes in your possibilities.  It is also a great way to see if life coaching is for you.  

Simply click the link below and choose a date on my calendar.  It really is that simple!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

I am

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.
My nickname is Fancy for a reason. 🙂

Fill in the blank to the statement: I am….

Do you believe other humans are better than you, but you want to believe you are 100% worthy?  Who decides your worth anyways? 

I shared on a recent Facebook Live my epiphany of my own worth after ruminating about a disagreement I had with someone I had respected.  My convictions were mocked. I completely understand not everyone needs to agree with me, but the conversation took a mean tone implying that I was less than.  

My coach helped me to clearly see the thoughts causing me to feel unworthy.  I had wonder if what this person was implying about me was true.  

Am I less than?  

Am I more than?

No, I am.

I am enough.  

Words do not define you

You do you.  Here’s the god’s truth, only you define you.  Unfortunately, you may have let words spoken by well meaning people define you.  

Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

My mentor, Brooke Castillo, coached a lawyer who let the words of a well meaning colleague determine the law she chose to practice.  Someone told this beautiful, well educated woman who immigrated to the United States as a young adult that she should not choose litigation because of her accent.  From that moment this woman believed that her accent was a determent to her success.  She resisted hearing that Brooke adored her accent.  I loved her accent too!  Who will she choose to believe now?  Why is it easier to continue the old story in her head than to embrace a new belief about her accent?

No matter what parents told you.  No matter what the kids at school told you.  Your boss, your spouse, your teacher or anyone you respect does not have the right to define you.  

Thoughts you have about yourself define you.  

I am enough

“Feelings are a shadow of your thoughts.”  jewel

Do you wondered how you would define your worth if you were skinnier, prettier or richer?  

The biggest lie you can choose to believe is that you have to change yourself to fit a mold to qualify.  What if you already qualified?  Your feelings help you reverse engineer your thoughts about yourself.  

How do you want to feel?  Changing your weight will not achieve that feeling.  Changing your thoughts will.  If your thoughts are like food, what are you feeding your body?  Junk food or whole nourishing food?

Give yourself permission

“Your worthiness is already at capacity, and nothing you have done or will do makes you less worthy as a human,”  Brooke Castillo.

You are 100% worthy.  You deserve the life you dream of.  

When you believe you are already worthy, you give yourself permission to live in abundance, confidence and self-love.  Your energy for life increases.  What you project to others changes. 

What have you waited your whole life to give yourself permission to do?  

I am

I know what you are thinking.  How do I change my thoughts?  How do I believe these radical thoughts about myself?   

You can tell me all the things as if you are reading the news.  I am unlucky, unpopular, have made mistakes, was not born into the right family.  I am too old.  You don’t know what I’ve been through.

These are the common thoughts that I help my clients work through.  I help you see yourself as who you want to be.  Who you are.  I help you create the life you want by developing thoughts that will energize you with confidence.

If you are ready to give yourself permission to to do what you’ve waited your whole life to do, let me help you.  Simply click the link below and choose a date on my calendar.  We can chat about what has always held you back and look at what will help you believe you are worth it.  

You are worth it.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky! 

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Rejecting Ageism

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.  Today she chats about rejecting ageism.

Have you heard the term ageism?  You may not have experienced anything akin to discrimination, but you might have used it against yourself by buying into stereotypes.  Have you ever limited yourself because of your age?  It is a sneaky thing we do to ourselves when celebrate certain birthdays.  

“You are not a mistake.  You are not a problem to be solved.  But you won’t discover this until you are willing to stop banging your head against the wall of shaming, caging, and fearing yourself,”  Geneen Roth.  

Don’t bang your head against your age either. 

I prefer ageless to ageism

“To be ageless is to defy the rules of what it supposedly means to be this age or that,”  Dr. Christiane Northrup.  

After reading Dr. Christiane Northrup’s book Goddesses Never Age I was inspired to forge my own path and make my own rules for the next few decades.  Lucky for me I have wonderful role models.  My parents are both health conscious and lead interesting lives.  My Mom loves to say, “You rest, you rust.”  Adopting an ageless attitude will help you flourish physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.   

How to reject ageism for agelessness

1. Find examples

You will find countless examples of midlife success by doing a simple Google search.  I’ve studied well known people like Martha Stewart and Julia child.  But, I love the stories of women who blazed their own trail without the fanfare of fame.

The documentary Fabulous Fashionistas highlights six spunky 80’ish women who refuse to stop living.  These women wear Doc Martens and mini-skirts, and “don’t give a toss” about what people think of them.  Jean Woods, 75 years young, runs several times a week on her new knee and got a job as the oldest employee of GAP.  In their pursuit of life they all stay fit, aren’t afraid of hard work and have a steely determination.  Their indomitable spirits are inspiring.  

Betty White at age 95 remarked, “Don’t try to be young.  Just open your mind.  Stay interested in stuff.  There are so many things I won’t live long enough to find out about.  But I’m still curious about them.”  She is definitely an inspiration.  

2. Be aware

Who determines when your value diminishes?  Do you feel invisible (a common complaint of age conscious people)?  Do you have a shelf life?  

Well, society and stereotypes will attempt to turn you to anti-aging agents, creams or surgeries to make you feel younger.  Because you are “worth it.”  I believe this propaganda is robbing you of who you really are, of your sense of self, wisdom, sense of usefulness.  

Only you can determine your worth.  You can allow the messages that younger is better, or you can reject the message as an outright lie.  Once you become aware of what you truly believe about midlife, you can address these thoughts.  

So, what sneaky thoughts have you noticed depleting your midlife mojo?  Are you aware?

3. Breakthrough

“Our obsession with image is tiring, it’s never ending.  Where as if our emphasis turns inward more, what really our life is about, what turns us on, what makes us feel electric, then that starts to glow outside.”  Scilla Elworthy

At this point in life you can either think there is no time or energy for your dreams, or you no longer want to put your dreams on hold.  One thought is energy depleting and the other creates energy.

A breakthrough demands a radical departure from some of your habitual thoughts.  How would you show up to midlife if you could believe anything is possible?  You are worth exploring this question.  You just as you are.    

Your best years are ahead

I truly believe your best years are ahead.  This is the belief I’m building my coaching practice upon.  I am passionate about sharing tools that will help you realize your best life, at any age.

If you can believe, life is ready to to give you a breakthrough.  This belief is energy creating.  

I’d love to help you create YOUR vision for midlife.  So, I’ve made it easy for you to get started.  I offer a FREE mini session for those of you who are curious about life coaching.  Click the link below and choose a date on my calendar.  It really is that simple.  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach


Perfectly Imperfect

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Do you have a desire to create something new in your life, yet fear the discomfort of change?  I’d like to offer the unconventional wisdom and beauty of perfectly imperfect.  

Japanese culture has a word for the idea of perfectly imperfect.  Wabi-sabi (侘寂) is a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is “imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete”.

Anyone who knows me can verify that I qualify for wabi-sabi.  I love mismatched and well loved furniture that tell a story.  I rarely wait until things line up perfectly before I launch a project.  Going against the grain of society is usually messy.    

No test, No testimony

When was the last time you allowed something to be imperfect?  Can you remember a time when you really didn’t have a choice?   

I was recently asked to give a ten minute talk on failure for my entrepreneur class at the Life Coach School.  I prepared my talk with numerous testimonies and awaited the zoom call with enthusiasm.  The day finally arrived.  Out of four panelists, I was asked to present second.  The first speaker brought up the term wabi-sabi.  I thought that concept went well with what I had planned.  It was finally my turn, but all I was able to share was a thought about being perfectly imperfect before my internet failed me.  I failed at a talk on failure.  Perfectly imperfect.  The moderator moved onto the next speaker, promising to come back to me.  After a brief freak out, I managed my presentation on my Iphone and presented last. 

I restarted my talk with a Les Brown quote, “No test, no testimony.”  

Later I received the sweetest message from the moderator.  

“Hey Tiffany, way to roll with the tech and share such great insights! I loved the way you weaved in your own story throughout and made it so raw, real, and genuine. Way to be an example, and I’m so glad we got to learn from you!”

“When you are going through hell, don’t stop.” Les Brown

Are you uncomfortable with imperfection? 

“It is normal and important to allow yourselves to be uncomfortable,”  Brooke Castillo.

Discomfort is the currency of your success.  It develops grit.  Experts agree that if you don’t experience a little discomfort on your way to goals, you are doing it wrong.  Stepping outside of you comfort zone is where real growth can occur.  

Two types of discomfort

When you embark on anything new, your brain will offer you all kinds of resistance.  You will immediately think of all the reasons not to move forward; excuses, confusion, not being perfect, etc. 

Understanding the two different types of discomfort will help you navigate confusion and choose discomfort that serves you.  

1. The discomfort of NOT growing into your potential.  

This kind of discomfort is caused by thoughts that keep you stuck such as, “I’m not good enough” or “this is hard” or “this is not the right time.”  These are thoughts that will not allow you to move forward out of fear of being imperfect.

2. The discomfort required to change.  

This is short term discomfort with long term gains and will move you closer towards your goals.  This is the kind of action that gives you butterflies in your stomach, like public speaking or trying something new.  

Embracing imperfection

I have learned the secret of being perfectly imperfect.  This concept has allowed me to flow towards the discomfort required to change and develop grit.   

Growth that leads to success is not always the easy road to follow, but the rewards are worth it.  You are worth it.  

If you’d like to embrace the secret of being perfectly imperfect, I’d like to offer my help!  I love chatting with midlife women who want to believe the best years are ahead.  Schedule a FREE mini session by clicking on my link below and picking a date on my calendar.  It really is that simple.  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach


Flip The Script

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping women believe their best years are ahead.  Today she is chatting about Flipping the Script.
Embracing my grey hair! What parts of midlife are you embracing????

Your Script

Do you feel that you were handed a script to live by when you were young, but at midlife feel ready to birth something new? As the master of reinvention, let me offer you ideas to get your creative juices flowing and allow you to flip that script.

Here’s a fun exercise to stir those creative juices.  If your life played out on the big screen, what would the title of your movie be?  

Sex In The City

The Housewife of {your town}

Real Women Have Curves

Last Woman Standing

Unfortunately, the titles I typically hear sound like these instead…

Do I Deserve It?

Why do I Always Attract The Wrong Partner

They Just Don’t Like Me

I’m Too Old For This

All too often, women can not identify what they truly want. Has society conditioned women to assume what they should want?  If you do know what you want, do you tend to believe you don’t deserve it? 

Dear friend, please know you were born worthy.  You deserve the desires of your heart, have purpose and are capable of far more than you can possibly imagine.  

In fact, you are not doing anyone favors by staying stuck.  You just need to flip the script.  

How do you flip the script?

Ditch the old worn out story

The past does not equal your future, unless you live there.  

Look, I am a self professed master of reinvention, with a stack of business cards to prove it.  I could choose the title of failure, allowing the failures to prevent me from pursuing something new, or create a different future.  

I prefer to be future focused. My future self will be so proud of the work I am doing today to flip the script.  

Recognize your story

The daily “trinity thoughts” are useful prompts for journaling.  I learned this exercise from Dr. Northrup’s book Goddesses Never Age.  

“This exercise will help you remember how important it is to enjoy life instead of just getting through your To Do list.”  ~ Dr. Northrup.

1. Something to brag about – wow!  I had a hard time with this one at first.  What are you really proud of?  Can you imagine how good you will feel celebrating daily successes?  

2. Something to appreciate – gratitude is a an attitude everyone could agree on.  Look for something you appreciate about your life, your body and/or your tribe on a daily basis. 

3. Something you desire – OK this is a muscle that needs to be flexed!  I have gotten very clear on what I want in life by answering this daily.  It might be easier to answer what you don’t want, but can you name one thing you desire right now? 

Know the what and why, ditch the how

A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul.  Proverbs 13:19

I long for the day Jeff can retire from his full-time job.  {Some say be careful of what you wish for LOL}  We both want to stay active with outdoors sports and activities.  We will pursue projects that will support our retirement goals.  I desire to spend more time with family and friends who live across the United States.  So, travel is an important component.  Although I am crystal clear on the what and why, I don’t stress over the “HOW”. 

“When you know your WHY, you can endure any HOW.” ~ Viktor Frankl 

A longing fulfilled is sweet for the soul.   

Your heart is engaged by the WHY.  

Dr. Martin Luther King had a “I have a dream” speech, not a “I have a plan” speech.

Tap into your imagination.  Ask yourself, “wouldn’t it be amazing if…”

What comes up for you when you allow your heart to dream?  

Can you get creative with a title for this dream? 

Do you know WHY you chose that title?  

Please, just don’t let the HOW choke out your dream.  

Do you need a guide?

I have come to realize that I no longer fear death.  I fear a life not fully lived, a purpose not fulfilled.  

Do you feel stuck in an old script and fear you may not be fully living?  

I’d love to help you flip the script.  As a certified life coach I am trained in helping you identify the old worn out story that is holding you back.  

Schedule a FREE mini session with someone who truly believes YOUR best years are ahead.  

We can discuss where you are and where you would like to be, and then identify strategies for overcoming the obstacles.  

Click the link below and choose a date on my calendar.  It really is that simple!  

Cheers,  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

The practice of audacious wellness. Five steps to be well.

Life coach Tiffany Eckhardt, works with women who practice audacious wellness.

My audacious wellness practice

My practice of audacious wellness began in January 2017, after a horrible hysterectomy that haunts me to this day.  I promised myself that I would do everything in my power to never have another surgery, which inspired my research on creating my own wellness practices.

I do not have a degree in medicine or nutrition, but wholeheartedly believe in the power of my mind to find solutions through books, podcasts and YouTube videos from people who hold degrees and have done case work on the subject. Finally, I do my own experiments on what I learn.  This led to my dairy allergy discovery, explaining my constant break outs.  

Although rare and not covered by insurance, there are doctors willing to create a personalized approach to wellness, before there is a health crisis.  

Will you be the hero of your own story

A highly functioning immune system

Our bodies naturally fight off infection through the immune system.  In fact, our bodies are always working on our behalf.  

I can honestly say that I have not been sick since 2017, except for the occasional self-induced hang over, which rarely happens now that I manage my mind.  I’ve learned to listen to my body and be proactive.  It would be naive to think that I’ll never get sick.  The idea is to provide my body resources to fight off any attack through a strengthened immune system.   

The human body is fascinating and should be addressed as a whole, and on an individual basis.  I don’t subscribe to a one size fits all approach to wellness.  I believe one hundred percent in taking personal responsibility through managing the mind, choosing what you put in and on your body, and evaluating the products you allow in your home.  

If all this feels overwhelming, let me offer you five common sense steps to practice audacious wellness.  You will be surprised to learn most are free and easy.  

1.Thought work

Self-aware is the first step to self-care.

An important step to making any change in your life is thought work.  Journaling is free and easy

Regularly do a “thought download” and observe your thoughts. What do you believe about wellness? What do you want for your body and mind? Why do you believe certain thoughts about wellness?  Do you like your reasons?  

Just as people might discover limiting beliefs concerning money, it is possible that you will discover limiting wellness beliefs.  Get curious about what you believe regarding your health and wellness.  

“It’s time to remind ourselves that today’s thoughts and actions become our legacy.” ~ Brendan Burchard

Can you imagine a life practicing audacious wellness?

2. Food is medicine!

This is not a revolutionary idea.  My favorite author on this subject is Dr. Axe.  His book Eat Dirt was the first book I read on the subject.  

Unfortunately our society has lost this awareness.  Replacing immunity boosting foods with fast and fake food.  A recent trip to Walmart highlighted this reality for me.  People were standing in line for an empty toilet paper isle, but the fruits and veggies isles were fully stocked.

I highly recommend a YouTube search of Dr. Axe’s videos.  He is a wealth of FREE information!

3. Vitamins found in natural places boost the immune system

Foods rich in Vitamin A help boost the immune system.  Choose mangos, grapefruit, dark leafy veggies, salmon, ect.  A quick google search will give you more ideas

Vitamin D has the power to destroy viruses, bacterial and fungi.  Experts suggest that the best way to get vitamin D is to be outside midday and soak in the sunshine.  This is especially important for office workers who have very little sun exposure.  Thank God sitting in sunshine is a free and easy step towards wellness. 

Vitamins are proven safe. If you want an in-depth lecture on the subject, tune into Dr. Shiva, an MIT Biologist PhD who studies epigenetics and systems biology.  He has several video lectures on how your immune system works and the benefits of Vitamin A and Vitamin D3.   

4. Exercise

Can anyone disagree that exercise is important?  

I did extensive thought work to embrace exercise.  My “story” was that I hated exercise and did not have a body built for it.  Looking back, that thought is funny.  I’m thankful to my past self for taking the first step past resistance.  

Here’s how my thoughts gradually changed:

“it is possible for me to exercise.”  

“it is possible for me to like exercising.”  

“I enjoy an increase in energy and the satisfaction of offering myself self care!”  

Make a decision to pursue physical activity and don’t negotiate with yourself.  

Start small.  Walk.  Get outside and walk your neighborhood, a free and easy step in the right direction.  Find community to exercise with.  It is always fun to do it with friends.  

5. Breathe & meditate

Feelings are vibrations (energy) experienced from a thought.  Habitual thoughts create the story of our lives, which produces the environment for either wellbeing or an weakened immune system. 

Breathing is a form of renewal, breaking the cycle of resistance.

Test this out.  Think thoughts that upset you in the moment.  Where do you feel it in your body?  Now think happy thoughts.  How is the experience of joy different from anger?  

It is unrealistic to believe there will never be uncomfortable thoughts.  Anger and upset increase the fight or flight response.  Breathing can calm the response and allow space to create better quality thoughts.  

Taking time to breathe and meditate is a free and easy step that allows for the creative juices to flow.  It really is good medicine! 

Where to start

Self-aware is the first step in self-care.

“Our problem as humans isn’t that we are inadequate, wrong, or broken: our problem is that we believe we are.”  Dr. Sue Morter

This list of five common sense steps to practice audacious wellness is by no way exhaustive.  Can you get curious about your own wellness and research ways to take responsibility?

There is not a one size fits all approach to wellness or to addressing a weakened immune system.  I believe with the abundance of scientific information available, it is possible to understand your own body and find both preventions and solutions.  

Do you practice audacious wellness? 

Wouldn’t you love to be the hero of your own wellness journey?  

Self-aware is the first step to self-care.  I’m offering a FREE mini session on practicing an audacious wellness practice.  I can help you discover where you are in the journey and where you’d like to be.  From there you can create a wellness mindset and strategies that will help you take creative control of your life.  

Book a FREE mini session

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.