Be unrealistic about age and get what you want

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping women believe their best years are ahead.  Be unrealistic and get what you want.
“You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream.” C.S. Lewis

Now that you’ve entered the season labeled midlife, do you fear it’s unrealistic to create something new at your age?  

Many clients of mine share a fear that age limits their ability to create something new.  I believe the opposite.  Your best years are ahead.  Finding yourself at the end of one season is an exciting opportunity to make decisions about life in the next season.   

Of course you are capable of learning new things and creating your life as you would like it to be.  

According to Marie Forleo, “Everything is figure-outable.”  

What if being unrealistic IS the answer to creating something new?  

What is the first thing your mind offers when you decide to create something new?  All the reasons it can’t work, all the reasons it isn’t a good idea and all the reasons it isn’t reasonable.  Yep, your mind is very clever in keeping you safe and secure. 

When you spend your time considering all that your brain offers, you fail ahead of time.  You stop yourself before you even get started.

So, trick you brain.  Agree with it.  Don’t give it anything to argue with.  

Agree with your brain that your new idea might not work, there will be obstacles and it could be completely unrealistic.  Decide to appreciate all the lessons and proceed anyways.    

Remind your brain the only way to create anything new is through trail and error.  

The fail factor

Should we fail on purpose?  Of course not!   

Brooke Castillo teaches in her eight week Business Course there are two different types of failures, escape failures and worthy failures.  

Escape failures 

Are you curios about why you don’t keep your word or follow through with your decisions?  Escape failures are a form of avoiding what is needed to realize your new creation and choosing to fail ahead of time.  

Examples:

  • Making excuses for not following through with a commitment
  • Indulging in confusion about the next step
  • Changing your mind
  • Not planning ahead of time, protecting your calendar
  • Any form of perfection is an escape failure
  • Waiting until your ready or have learned every aspect  

Worthy failures

Worthy failures are not caused by inaction, but by taking a step forward.

“We were never taught to fail.  We are taught that F’s are bad growing up.  This programming has contributed to steering away from starting things and changing,”  Brooke Castillo.  

For example, this past week I conducted my first FREE workshop on Self Appreciation.  I spent hours deciding what to teach, gathering information, putting it into an understandable form, etc.  I enthusiastically marketed the workshop, but only had a couple people show up to the live event.  Was that a failure?  NO!  No, it was not a failure.  I learned better ways to approach the next workshop and will continue to market the replay, which will reach untold amount of women.  

You can check our my Self Appreciation Workshop by clicking here: SELF APPRECIATION WORKSHOP

Never tried.

Ever failed.

No matter.

Try again.

Fail again.

Fail better.

Samuel Beckett

Get crystal clear

There will never be an age limit to creating something meaningful, but take time to get crystal clear about what you wish to create.  

  • Define: What does it feel like once you create it?  Who will benefit from your creation?  
  • Objections: What makes it unrealistic?  Go ahead and let your mind offer you the objections.  
  • Solutions:  Then answer the objections with, “That objection is true, but…”  What skills will you need to create it?  

Basically, allow your mind to define what you want to create, the obstacles in your way, and strategies to solve them ahead of time.  

BE unrealistic, a challenge

Let’s be honest, being a little unrealistic sounds like a fun challenge.   

I’d like to challenge you to a worthy fail.  Well, not just one.  I’d like to challenge you to write out 25 worthy failures you are willing to take action on.  First brainstorm all the ways you could take action that will likely fail.  From the brainstorm, pick 25 that you will commit to and then put the 25 worthy fails on your calendar.    

Taking this challenge will inspire you to take the first step.  By simply taking action, you will learn everything is figure-outable!  

Let me help you!

I love working with midlife women who are ready to believe their best years are ahead.  It is not a time to avoid the hard things, it is a time to embrace them with the self confidence earned at this age.

This past week I had the privilege to coach a beautiful spunky woman in her sixties who was was considering a new idea.  We worked through her thoughts, feelings and actions around the idea.  Afterwards I asked her what she thought she would be creating as a result.  She lit up and said, “a new career!”  

Sometimes you just need to be able to work through all the thoughts, feelings and obstacles to believe in the possibility.    

If you are ready to break some of your own limitations, let me help you!  Schedule a FREE mini session.  It’s a 45 minute chat with someone who truly believes in your possibilities.  It is also a great way to see if life coaching is for you.  

Simply click the link below and choose a date on my calendar.  It really is that simple!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

I am

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.
My nickname is Fancy for a reason. 🙂

Fill in the blank to the statement: I am….

Do you believe other humans are better than you, but you want to believe you are 100% worthy?  Who decides your worth anyways? 

I shared on a recent Facebook Live my epiphany of my own worth after ruminating about a disagreement I had with someone I had respected.  My convictions were mocked. I completely understand not everyone needs to agree with me, but the conversation took a mean tone implying that I was less than.  

My coach helped me to clearly see the thoughts causing me to feel unworthy.  I had wonder if what this person was implying about me was true.  

Am I less than?  

Am I more than?

No, I am.

I am enough.  

Words do not define you

You do you.  Here’s the god’s truth, only you define you.  Unfortunately, you may have let words spoken by well meaning people define you.  

Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

My mentor, Brooke Castillo, coached a lawyer who let the words of a well meaning colleague determine the law she chose to practice.  Someone told this beautiful, well educated woman who immigrated to the United States as a young adult that she should not choose litigation because of her accent.  From that moment this woman believed that her accent was a determent to her success.  She resisted hearing that Brooke adored her accent.  I loved her accent too!  Who will she choose to believe now?  Why is it easier to continue the old story in her head than to embrace a new belief about her accent?

No matter what parents told you.  No matter what the kids at school told you.  Your boss, your spouse, your teacher or anyone you respect does not have the right to define you.  

Thoughts you have about yourself define you.  

I am enough

“Feelings are a shadow of your thoughts.”  jewel

Do you wondered how you would define your worth if you were skinnier, prettier or richer?  

The biggest lie you can choose to believe is that you have to change yourself to fit a mold to qualify.  What if you already qualified?  Your feelings help you reverse engineer your thoughts about yourself.  

How do you want to feel?  Changing your weight will not achieve that feeling.  Changing your thoughts will.  If your thoughts are like food, what are you feeding your body?  Junk food or whole nourishing food?

Give yourself permission

“Your worthiness is already at capacity, and nothing you have done or will do makes you less worthy as a human,”  Brooke Castillo.

You are 100% worthy.  You deserve the life you dream of.  

When you believe you are already worthy, you give yourself permission to live in abundance, confidence and self-love.  Your energy for life increases.  What you project to others changes. 

What have you waited your whole life to give yourself permission to do?  

I am

I know what you are thinking.  How do I change my thoughts?  How do I believe these radical thoughts about myself?   

You can tell me all the things as if you are reading the news.  I am unlucky, unpopular, have made mistakes, was not born into the right family.  I am too old.  You don’t know what I’ve been through.

These are the common thoughts that I help my clients work through.  I help you see yourself as who you want to be.  Who you are.  I help you create the life you want by developing thoughts that will energize you with confidence.

If you are ready to give yourself permission to to do what you’ve waited your whole life to do, let me help you.  Simply click the link below and choose a date on my calendar.  We can chat about what has always held you back and look at what will help you believe you are worth it.  

You are worth it.

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky! 

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Perfectly Imperfect

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Do you have a desire to create something new in your life, yet fear the discomfort of change?  I’d like to offer the unconventional wisdom and beauty of perfectly imperfect.  

Japanese culture has a word for the idea of perfectly imperfect.  Wabi-sabi (侘寂) is a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is “imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete”.

Anyone who knows me can verify that I qualify for wabi-sabi.  I love mismatched and well loved furniture that tell a story.  I rarely wait until things line up perfectly before I launch a project.  Going against the grain of society is usually messy.    

No test, No testimony

When was the last time you allowed something to be imperfect?  Can you remember a time when you really didn’t have a choice?   

I was recently asked to give a ten minute talk on failure for my entrepreneur class at the Life Coach School.  I prepared my talk with numerous testimonies and awaited the zoom call with enthusiasm.  The day finally arrived.  Out of four panelists, I was asked to present second.  The first speaker brought up the term wabi-sabi.  I thought that concept went well with what I had planned.  It was finally my turn, but all I was able to share was a thought about being perfectly imperfect before my internet failed me.  I failed at a talk on failure.  Perfectly imperfect.  The moderator moved onto the next speaker, promising to come back to me.  After a brief freak out, I managed my presentation on my Iphone and presented last. 

I restarted my talk with a Les Brown quote, “No test, no testimony.”  

Later I received the sweetest message from the moderator.  

“Hey Tiffany, way to roll with the tech and share such great insights! I loved the way you weaved in your own story throughout and made it so raw, real, and genuine. Way to be an example, and I’m so glad we got to learn from you!”

“When you are going through hell, don’t stop.” Les Brown

Are you uncomfortable with imperfection? 

“It is normal and important to allow yourselves to be uncomfortable,”  Brooke Castillo.

Discomfort is the currency of your success.  It develops grit.  Experts agree that if you don’t experience a little discomfort on your way to goals, you are doing it wrong.  Stepping outside of you comfort zone is where real growth can occur.  

Two types of discomfort

When you embark on anything new, your brain will offer you all kinds of resistance.  You will immediately think of all the reasons not to move forward; excuses, confusion, not being perfect, etc. 

Understanding the two different types of discomfort will help you navigate confusion and choose discomfort that serves you.  

1. The discomfort of NOT growing into your potential.  

This kind of discomfort is caused by thoughts that keep you stuck such as, “I’m not good enough” or “this is hard” or “this is not the right time.”  These are thoughts that will not allow you to move forward out of fear of being imperfect.

2. The discomfort required to change.  

This is short term discomfort with long term gains and will move you closer towards your goals.  This is the kind of action that gives you butterflies in your stomach, like public speaking or trying something new.  

Embracing imperfection

I have learned the secret of being perfectly imperfect.  This concept has allowed me to flow towards the discomfort required to change and develop grit.   

Growth that leads to success is not always the easy road to follow, but the rewards are worth it.  You are worth it.  

If you’d like to embrace the secret of being perfectly imperfect, I’d like to offer my help!  I love chatting with midlife women who want to believe the best years are ahead.  Schedule a FREE mini session by clicking on my link below and picking a date on my calendar.  It really is that simple.  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach


What if life is NOT a problem to be solved?

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping women believe their best years are ahead.  What if life was not a problem to be solved?

What if life is NOT a problem to be solved, but is actually a mystery to be lived? 

I have talked to so many midlife women who feel there is a big question mark over their future.  

Society, community and family traditions influence women in their journey.  Women tend to neglect themselves in the service of family and career.  After decades of doing for others, wether you stayed home or had a career, the end of that defining chapter is near.   

There is no owner’s manual for this next season. This is what I call the midlife conundrum.  The big question mark of “what do you do now?”  

I think a better feeling question is, “who do you want to BE now?”  

This new season is an opportunity for you to discover your truest self, to embrace the mystery.  

Self-Aware is the first step in Self-Care  

Getting to know yourself is the most transformative work you can do and will solve the midlife conundrum.  

I am a personal growth junkie.  Given the choice, I will read a book that dives deep into the human psyche over a juicy romance novel. 

It is no wonder why I chose to become a certified life coach. If you are willing to do the work, I truly believe your best years are ahead.  

What is your unique framework?

In my pursuit of personal growth, I’ve taken several personality tests.  I am a RED/BLUE or an A/B depending on the chart.  I scored an 8/7 on the Enneagram test.   

So, I’m a challenger that shows enthusiasm, which is frustrating because I don’t particularly like being naturally driven with a direct personality.  I enjoy parties, but hate being the center of attention, partly because I’m afraid of what might come out of my mouth with no filter.  

Personality tests are interesting, but I never really knew how to apply the results to life.  

It read my mail

I finally found a profile that gave me clear applications to my life and unpacked the mystery.  

My friend and colleague, Lisa Scoffield recently introduced me to Human Design.  It is a new service she is offering in her coaching practice.  Human Design is a science that gives insight into your personality traits, your health, your personal psychology, your talents, your wisdom, and your vulnerabilities.  When Lisa offered to run my chart, I responded with an instant YES!  

Again, I geek out over these kind of things, but I never expected it to read my mail. 

Pure Generator

I am a Pure Generator.  My strengths are energetic, master of their work, sustainable energy and self-aware.  My weaknesses are often frustrated, quits too soon, can’t make it happen and can feel stuck. 

Lisa explained my profile with an in-depth thirty page report.  As I read through it I started to have a-ha moments, and at times felt sad.  I felt sad because I never fully understood the patterns in my life until I read this.  I spent nearly 50 years believing I was broken and there is something seriously wrong with me.    

Yes, I have a tendency of challenging everything from the school system, the medical system, society’s conditioning, etc.  Weirdly enough, I have a sense of duty too.  I am a work horse who will work until exhaustion.  I am direct to a fault and a social butterfly, until I suddenly feel that I’ve had enough.      

The most impactful revelation in the report is understanding how I am designed to make decisions.  I’ve been conditioned to think I need to hustle and make things happen.  My best approach for making decisions is to pause, listen to my gut and wait for a strong YES or a strong NO.  My biggest fear is that I will wait and it will never come. 

I now understand how I’m wired and how I can best show up in the world with my gifts.  How I can be aware of my weakness, but shine through my strengths. 

If you are curious about your Human Design Chart, I encourage you to reach out to Lisa.  

Lisa is lovely and deeply committed to helping people live their truest self.  Simply click this link and pick a date on her calendar:  LISA SCOFFIELD

Deny your own wisdom?   

Self-Aware is the first step in Self-Care.  If you are willing to do the work, you will discover your truest self. 

Coaching allows you to get in touch with what you already know.  Don’t deny your wisdom.  

My biggest joy in life is helping women believe their best years are ahead. Life is a wonderful mystery.

When you get in the habit of knowing yourself, there is no fear or limitation that could ever hold you back.  

If this resonates with you, I’d love to help you!  Take advantage of my FREE mini session.  It is your opportunity to chat with someone who truly believes your best years are ahead.  

Click the link below and choose a date on my calendar.  It really is that simple!

Tiffany

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach


Questions are the answers

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach with Flown The Coop.  Let her help you create a life YOU are excited to get out of bed for.

What if curious people understood questions are the answer?  

Do you long to wake up excited to get out of bed and be the person you know you can be, but just not sure how to get connected with that life?  What if questions are the answers and curiosity is the key?

Just curious, do you believe it’s possible to create the life of your dreams?

Successful people know questions are the answer

Martha Stewart contributes her success to an avid curiosity.  

Jeff Bezos’ mother believed it was her responsibility to allow deep dives into what her son enjoyed.  She may have not always liked his questions, but gave him space to explore with curiosity.   

“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”  Walt Disney 

Questions are the answers

Curious folks just learned to ask good questions.  

Are you known to think outside the box, not afraid to fail, explore new ideas, and have an unquenchable willingness to grow?

“Getting the right question is the key to getting the right answer,”  Jeff Bezos.    

What if a zesty life is an endless journey of discovery?  

How curious are you?  Don’t let yourself off the hook.  This is YOUR life… you deserve to create it.  

Here are a few questions to spark your curiosity….

Are you doing what you truly want to do?

How many promises have you kept to yourself?

If you could clone yourself, which of your characteristics you wouldn’t want to be cloned?

Who do you admire and why?

Is there anyone who inspired your life today?

What are you most proud of?

If happiness was a currency, how rich would you be?  

If today was the end of the world, what would you do?  

I hope you came up with some of your own questions!  

Does creating a life resonate with you?   

I’d love to offer a FREE mini coaching session.  The mini session is simply a chat with someone who truly believes your best years are ahead.  

Click on the link below and pick a date on my calendar.  It is really that simple.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her wiring “YES” in the sky.  

You are not broken

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach for midlife wellness... permission to soar!
Permission to soar

Have you ever wondered if something in your life is not right or perhaps you’re broken… yet you are not willing to give up on your dreams?

You are not broken, you just need permission to break free from your cage and soar.

Milestone birthdays

Milestone birthdays are generally catalyst for serious life evaluation.  Leading up to my milestone birthday, I decided that this next phase of life would be epic.  I’ve reached the age that I officially don’t care what others think of my choices.  

I don’t know about you… but I’d like to see more midlife women defy the rules of what this season is supposed to look like. 

Do you believe your soul is ageless?  

Think about it.  

According to Dr. Northrup, “You can change your future starting today by adopting a new, ageless attitude that will help you flourish physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.”

Agelessness is about chunking society’s ideals of what women of a certain age should focus on, look like, dress, be, do, have, etc.  Lord knows you’ve tried to fit in society’s boxes your whole life.  Their boxes have left you feeling broken or not able to measure up.  

Forget that!  Give yourself permission to break free from that cage and soar.

I say it’s time to unstuck your brain

After you’ve given yourself permission to soar into a vision you create for midlife, you’ll need to unstuck your brain from the old, worn-out story you once believed.  You need to replace it with a well-crafted story that serves you and your dreams.  

Address negative emotions

The worst thing you can do for yourself is hold onto destructive emotions.  

“Negative” emotions are indicators of unmet needs that need to be processed for healing.  Think of emotions as your guidance system, pointing to the areas in your life that need to be addressed.  

Emotions like sadness, despair, and unworthiness have an adverse effect on your wellness and keep you stuck in a life that you don’t want. 

It is helpful to process these emotions and not ignore them.  That is where I can help… as a certified life coach I can help you identify what is causing the “negative” emotions so you can release them. 

Curious about coaching? Check out my article: 3 Reasons You Need To Hire A Life Coach.

Focus on “causes of health”

Wellness is my jam.  {Yep, I just said jam.}  I love studying “causes of health.”  It makes more sense to me than always reacting to disease.  

It is society, the medical establishment, big Pharma, etc who support a belief that disease and infirmity are inevitable.  

My personal plan is to be “ninety three and prescription free” as Gladys McGarey, M.D. proclaims.  

You have a choice to focus on wellness.  There are plenty of actions you can take to promote wellness; like eat whole fresh foods, get outside, move your body, feed your mind, get good sleep, remove the toxins from your home, etc.

I’d like to offer that Self-Aware is the first step in Self-Care.  The best place to start a wellness journey is your thoughts about it.  What do you actually believe is possible?  Why is it important to you?

For me, I want to soar into midlife and eventually retirement with the energy of a twenty-something.  I want my obituary to read, “Tiffany Eckhardt was a cockeyed optimist with uncommon energy.” 

Do you need to unstuck your brain concerning midlife wellness?  

Surround yourself with positive influences

The tribe I hang with vibrates in another reality entirely.”  Gladys McGarey, M.D.

It helps to surround yourself with people that are crazy enough to believe that YOU can create a life.  In fact, your friends can be your biggest cheerleaders for midlife wellness.  

Positive influences can also be found outside your circle of friends by following podcasts, reading books, subscribing to YouTube channels, etc.  Who are your go-to influencers who encourage you to live fully?

Unstuck your brain and give yourself permission to soar.  

If you find yourself stuck and you want to start living the life you know is possible, I’d love to help.  I offer a free mini session for those who are curious about what a life coach can offer.  

I am a master at reinvention and have an abundant belief in possibilities.  But what totally makes a difference is the tools I’ve learned to utilize.  

If you are curious, schedule your free mini session today by clicking the link below and choosing a date on the calendar.  It really is that simple.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky. 

Awesome Women over 40

A message for women over 40 that has resonated with all my Facebook friends today!

Finally have control of my thoughts concerning who I am, about food and cocktails, etc

A message from Andy Rooney… LOVE THIS MAN!

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:

“As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, ‘What are you thinking?’ She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jack off, or if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.”

The BIG 50

Yep, I turn 50 next month. I can honestly say I am super excited! I have taken creative control of my life and it feels AWESOME! This is my time! I’m having a midlife awakening! This is my decade! I have dreams, plans and am more self aware than ever before!

Light yourself on fire with passion and people will come from miles to watch you burn.

Author Unknown… but I KNOW I’d love them!

The best part

I’d like to offer that the best part is that you can take creative control of your life at any age!

Wow… I can’t even begin to imagine my life {and the lives of my favorite people} if I’d taken hold of this mindset when I was younger. DANG!

Mindset and thought work is now my life’s work as a certified life coach. I love taking a deep dive into what women really want.

What are you waiting for?

I’d love to help you take creative control of YOUR life!

Reach out to me! Set up your FREE consultation. Or go ahead and book your three month session. Let me help you see past your “reality”. There are other options to see YOUR life! There is a better way. I can help you get there!

Book Now!

Your Gen.U.Ine Free Spirit,

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!