Perfectly Imperfect

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women believe their best years are ahead.

Do you have a desire to create something new in your life, yet fear the discomfort of change?  I’d like to offer the unconventional wisdom and beauty of perfectly imperfect.  

Japanese culture has a word for the idea of perfectly imperfect.  Wabi-sabi (侘寂) is a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is “imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete”.

Anyone who knows me can verify that I qualify for wabi-sabi.  I love mismatched and well loved furniture that tell a story.  I rarely wait until things line up perfectly before I launch a project.  Going against the grain of society is usually messy.    

No test, No testimony

When was the last time you allowed something to be imperfect?  Can you remember a time when you really didn’t have a choice?   

I was recently asked to give a ten minute talk on failure for my entrepreneur class at the Life Coach School.  I prepared my talk with numerous testimonies and awaited the zoom call with enthusiasm.  The day finally arrived.  Out of four panelists, I was asked to present second.  The first speaker brought up the term wabi-sabi.  I thought that concept went well with what I had planned.  It was finally my turn, but all I was able to share was a thought about being perfectly imperfect before my internet failed me.  I failed at a talk on failure.  Perfectly imperfect.  The moderator moved onto the next speaker, promising to come back to me.  After a brief freak out, I managed my presentation on my Iphone and presented last. 

I restarted my talk with a Les Brown quote, “No test, no testimony.”  

Later I received the sweetest message from the moderator.  

“Hey Tiffany, way to roll with the tech and share such great insights! I loved the way you weaved in your own story throughout and made it so raw, real, and genuine. Way to be an example, and I’m so glad we got to learn from you!”

“When you are going through hell, don’t stop.” Les Brown

Are you uncomfortable with imperfection? 

“It is normal and important to allow yourselves to be uncomfortable,”  Brooke Castillo.

Discomfort is the currency of your success.  It develops grit.  Experts agree that if you don’t experience a little discomfort on your way to goals, you are doing it wrong.  Stepping outside of you comfort zone is where real growth can occur.  

Two types of discomfort

When you embark on anything new, your brain will offer you all kinds of resistance.  You will immediately think of all the reasons not to move forward; excuses, confusion, not being perfect, etc. 

Understanding the two different types of discomfort will help you navigate confusion and choose discomfort that serves you.  

1. The discomfort of NOT growing into your potential.  

This kind of discomfort is caused by thoughts that keep you stuck such as, “I’m not good enough” or “this is hard” or “this is not the right time.”  These are thoughts that will not allow you to move forward out of fear of being imperfect.

2. The discomfort required to change.  

This is short term discomfort with long term gains and will move you closer towards your goals.  This is the kind of action that gives you butterflies in your stomach, like public speaking or trying something new.  

Embracing imperfection

I have learned the secret of being perfectly imperfect.  This concept has allowed me to flow towards the discomfort required to change and develop grit.   

Growth that leads to success is not always the easy road to follow, but the rewards are worth it.  You are worth it.  

If you’d like to embrace the secret of being perfectly imperfect, I’d like to offer my help!  I love chatting with midlife women who want to believe the best years are ahead.  Schedule a FREE mini session by clicking on my link below and picking a date on my calendar.  It really is that simple.  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach


Mid-life Muse

Tiffany finding her midlife muse.  Hire her as your midlife life coach!

I explored finding a mid-life muse leading up to my 40th Birthday.  I spent months interviewing successful friends for a series on my personal blog called Finding Your Muse, hoping to find purpose in an empty nest and new phase of life.

This time frame coincided with the real estate crash of 2008. It was a clear sign I needed to find my muse in a logical way. So, I quit real estate, sold my fancy car and went to Costa Rica for a month.  I was experiencing a crisis.  Unfortunately, MY muse was elusive!

BTW: thinking that a 40th birthday meant mid-life is adorable!  😉

Midlife Muse Found In A Shift

Many of my mid-life friends have shared that they noticed a definable shift at this stage of life.  In my recent article Are You Zesty, I explored three things seasoned women know.  I’d like to add a seasoned woman understands mid-life is a mindset, not a crisis.  

One friend shared that she developed a “F-U” attitude, finally giving herself permission to devote time and energy to herself.  Can anyone relate???

Wether your life has been devoted to family demands or a demanding career, you realize life has shifted.  You have more time and financial freedom than you once did.  Unfortunately this shift shows up as an identity crisis.  How do you get in touch with who you are and what you really want??? Spoil alert… you don’t have to travel far.

WELL, you don’t have to sell your fancy car and go to Costa Rica.  That would be crazy. 😉

Leading up to my 50th birthday, my muse found me in a mindset shift.  There is an enormous difference between my desperate approach to my 40th birthday and my quiet, reflective approach to my upcoming 50th birthday.  

A couple mindset shifts worth considering:   

1. You create YOUR identity

At times I found my identity in my family and friends or as an entrepreneur.  I am fiercely proud of my roots.  I am equally devoted to my wings and will unapologetically promote flying free!   

Cue Jessica Andrews’ Who I am video… 

I also have a pattern of looking for my identity in the opinions of others.  Good Lord, as a young homemaker living in the south my identity was wrapped up in a clean home.  I made my family nuts trying to clean up after them.  Last year I uncovered an unhealthily thought that was wrecking havoc on my identity.  I naively blamed the thought, “I don’t have the IT factor” for some of my business failures.  These stories did not serve me! 

You get to decide what thoughts you feed your mind daily.  I have noticed most people are totally unaware of what they think about themselves.  Do you realize you literally create who you are by what you think, consciously or unconsciously? 

A mid-life shift is the perfect opportunity to get in touch with what you really want.  Who do you want to BE?  What do you want to think about?  How do you want to feel?  How do you want to show up in life?  What skills do you need to learn or interests do you want to explore?  What ever you invest in NOW will create your future.  You might as well be intentional about it!  

2. Current trajectory is your future

Your future is not created in the past.  Many people limit their future based on what they were able to accomplish in the past.  Truly, your current situation has been created by the habits and the beliefs you developed over the years.  The good news is that YOU have the power to change the trajectory of your life by changing your habits and creating new beliefs!  

Mid-life is not time to take life for granted.  Be patient with yourself, but don’t wait for a written invitation.  Your future self will thank you!  

You are not alone

You are not alone in a mid-life shift.  If I can make this shift, you can too!  

“Most people find themselves flying too close to the ground.  Too often we don’t give ourselves permission to soar!” Price Pritchett

Give yourself permission to soar.  Choose to embrace mid-life by finding your muse in a mindset shift.  

I’ve enjoyed coaching many women who are ready to create a life on their terms!  I’d love the opportunity to help you get in touch with your midlife muse.  Read Three Reasons To Hire A Life Coach. Then schedule you FREE consultation!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!