Flip The Script

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping women believe their best years are ahead.  Today she is chatting about Flipping the Script.
Embracing my grey hair! What parts of midlife are you embracing????

Your Script

Do you feel that you were handed a script to live by when you were young, but at midlife feel ready to birth something new? As the master of reinvention, let me offer you ideas to get your creative juices flowing and allow you to flip that script.

Here’s a fun exercise to stir those creative juices.  If your life played out on the big screen, what would the title of your movie be?  

Sex In The City

The Housewife of {your town}

Real Women Have Curves

Last Woman Standing

Unfortunately, the titles I typically hear sound like these instead…

Do I Deserve It?

Why do I Always Attract The Wrong Partner

They Just Don’t Like Me

I’m Too Old For This

All too often, women can not identify what they truly want. Has society conditioned women to assume what they should want?  If you do know what you want, do you tend to believe you don’t deserve it? 

Dear friend, please know you were born worthy.  You deserve the desires of your heart, have purpose and are capable of far more than you can possibly imagine.  

In fact, you are not doing anyone favors by staying stuck.  You just need to flip the script.  

How do you flip the script?

Ditch the old worn out story

The past does not equal your future, unless you live there.  

Look, I am a self professed master of reinvention, with a stack of business cards to prove it.  I could choose the title of failure, allowing the failures to prevent me from pursuing something new, or create a different future.  

I prefer to be future focused. My future self will be so proud of the work I am doing today to flip the script.  

Recognize your story

The daily “trinity thoughts” are useful prompts for journaling.  I learned this exercise from Dr. Northrup’s book Goddesses Never Age.  

“This exercise will help you remember how important it is to enjoy life instead of just getting through your To Do list.”  ~ Dr. Northrup.

1. Something to brag about – wow!  I had a hard time with this one at first.  What are you really proud of?  Can you imagine how good you will feel celebrating daily successes?  

2. Something to appreciate – gratitude is a an attitude everyone could agree on.  Look for something you appreciate about your life, your body and/or your tribe on a daily basis. 

3. Something you desire – OK this is a muscle that needs to be flexed!  I have gotten very clear on what I want in life by answering this daily.  It might be easier to answer what you don’t want, but can you name one thing you desire right now? 

Know the what and why, ditch the how

A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul.  Proverbs 13:19

I long for the day Jeff can retire from his full-time job.  {Some say be careful of what you wish for LOL}  We both want to stay active with outdoors sports and activities.  We will pursue projects that will support our retirement goals.  I desire to spend more time with family and friends who live across the United States.  So, travel is an important component.  Although I am crystal clear on the what and why, I don’t stress over the “HOW”. 

“When you know your WHY, you can endure any HOW.” ~ Viktor Frankl 

A longing fulfilled is sweet for the soul.   

Your heart is engaged by the WHY.  

Dr. Martin Luther King had a “I have a dream” speech, not a “I have a plan” speech.

Tap into your imagination.  Ask yourself, “wouldn’t it be amazing if…”

What comes up for you when you allow your heart to dream?  

Can you get creative with a title for this dream? 

Do you know WHY you chose that title?  

Please, just don’t let the HOW choke out your dream.  

Do you need a guide?

I have come to realize that I no longer fear death.  I fear a life not fully lived, a purpose not fulfilled.  

Do you feel stuck in an old script and fear you may not be fully living?  

I’d love to help you flip the script.  As a certified life coach I am trained in helping you identify the old worn out story that is holding you back.  

Schedule a FREE mini session with someone who truly believes YOUR best years are ahead.  

We can discuss where you are and where you would like to be, and then identify strategies for overcoming the obstacles.  

Click the link below and choose a date on my calendar.  It really is that simple!  

Cheers,  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

The life you desire is only a thought away

Dreaming of a life I create!

What is the secret sauce to making your dreams come true? 

Do people who realize their dreams have a secret sauce?  What if I told you that the life you desire is only a thought away?

Indulge in an exercises to stretch your dream muscle.  

I want to encourage you to take a break from marinating in “what is.”  Take a hot second to fully embody YOUR dream life!  Transport yourself into that life.  Build that dream with all the thoughts that excite you.  

What does it look like?  How does it feel?  What new skills did you learn?  How do you behave differently?  Where do you shop?  What car do you drive?  Who do you hang around with?  What fills your calendar?  What does a person who has your dream life think about on a daily basis? 

Embodying the dream is creating the future from the future

What are you willing to do to achieve the dream?  

I’m not talking about being willing to do something immoral or illegal.  I’m talking about addressing the thoughts that oppose your dream.  Although not as sexy as flexing your dream muscle, it is equally important to address all or your obstacle thoughts upfront.  

Would you be willing to risk embarrassment? Would you be willing to stick to a protocol or a calendar?  Can you think of possible attitudes that would creep in?  All these obstacles are currently just thoughts.  What if you created a strategy to nip those thoughts in the bud and replace them with thoughts that served you?

Identifying obstacles and creating a strategy ahead of time is creating the future from the future.

My dream is to create a 100k coaching business the first year as a coach.  

Wow.  I said it.  That is scary.  You might judge me.  Well, so what?

100K means different things to different people.  

  • Some might think, “who does she think she is with that outrageous goal?”
  • While others dismiss the goal as chunk change.  You might already have a million dollar business.

All those thoughts (good or bad) don’t matter when I am working towards my dream.  Both views are simply thoughts, beliefs of what is possible.  I could choose to think it’s impossible or easy.   

The only thing that matters in creating YOUR dream life is what YOU think!  

I’m a product of the product

I coached myself through this exercise by imagining what life will be like when I see 100k on my tax return.  Let me share my example so you can start applying it to your example.

First I flexed my dream muscle.  Honestly, at first I couldn’t begin to imagine how life will be different.  The exercise was harder for me than I thought it would be.  I meditated on it.  Nothing popped in my head. 

Then a brilliant idea came to me… What would you do if 100k landed in my lap today?  It all came to me as I began to journal.  I know exactly what I’d do with a 100k today.  I’d buy a Mini Cooper (because I’d look cute driving one), pay off Jeff’s car and pay off the random credit card debt we have.  Then I’d reinvest the rest of the money into developing a kick ass business.  I’d hire a web designer, enroll in Stacey Boehman’s 2k for 2k mastermind, and buy the equipment I need to create videos, podcasts and online seminars.  

The dream is worth it!  What am I willing to do to achieve it?

So, what is exactly standing in my way?  In addition to fear of rejection and the fear of failure, I have all the mind drama associated with a start-up. Creating systems for finances and time management will require a lot of planning.  Learning to create a website, funnels, creating videos and classes will stretch me. Hiring people to help me. It all sounds hard!  

I actually found myself thinking the second 100k would be so much more fun because it would be easy.  

WAIT>>>> why can’t I think it is easy NOW?????  

A light bulb moment!  I can think anything I want.  From now on, I will choose to think creating a 100k business is easy.  I will face each obstacle with the thought that it can be figured out.  My future self will be so grateful I chose to create from the future.  She will know it’s easy because it’s done.  I’ll trust her.    

Change your thoughts, change your life”  Wayne Dyer

Dreaming becomes realistic when you do thought work around the accomplishing the dream.  Realizing your dream is truly a matter of acknowledging your desires and identifying the obstacle thoughts you will need to strategically address.    

What thoughts are preventing you from stepping towards your dream life?  How does the thought make you feel?  How do you behave when you feel that way?  Are your results confirming your belief?  Do you want to change that?

I’d love to help you sort through your thoughts to create life on your terms.  Working with me will give you the clarity you need to move forward with confidence.  It truly is my passion to help women choose to think they can be, do or have anything they set their minds on!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Resilient

“When we face a decision to fall back or press on, the whole universe holds its breath.”  John Eldridge

Let that sink in.

Fierce or Resilient?

My 2017 Pinterest Board was labeled “The year to be FIERCE.”  What was I thinking?  The Board should be labeled RESILIENT.

It’s hard to be fierce when you are recovering from a major surgery, then break your arm and face another health scare all in the first quarter.  I’m not a sick person!  Dealing with doctors is not my favorite thing to do.  Up until this year, I have avoided the doctor’s office (except for the yearly well visits required by insurance).  Good health was a badge I wore proudly!

Finding a doctor was a frustrating ordeal for me in 2016, followed by various issues that led up to surgery on January 9th that didn’t go as planned.  Six weeks later, I was disappointed to learn that the doctor who did my surgery was moving to a different health care system and would no longer accept my insurance.  When a new and potentially scary health issue arose, I was more defeated by the necessity to find a new doctor than I was the scare.  Even more aggravating is the system that requires a regular doctor to order tests, who will then inevitably need to refer me to a specialist if there is a problem.  I spent a couple days deciding wether to press on and have the new issue looked at ~ or fall back and ignore it.  Side note, I never made it to my follow up appointment for my broken arm.  I figured that they would just confirm what I already knew, it’s healing fine and just be careful.

As if walking through an internal struggle about health issues and recovery wasn’t enough, I had to add shame and embarrassment by transparently posting my dismay to Facebook, along with a sad picture to emphasize just how miserable I felt.  Why do I always feel the need to air my emotions so publicly?  I feel like a whiner just explaining my situation.  I have friends and family who are quietly walking through FAR WORSE.  Fortunately, I discovered most people didn’t see it as a character flaw (craziness displayed on the porch with a cocktail) and sent massive words of encouragement.  This embarrassment was a wake up call to me and was the catalyst into a life lesson.

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I now have both.

Proper perspective is helpful when faced with the choice to fall back or press on.

Resilient

re·sil·ent
adjective
        (of a person or animal) able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions.  strong, tough, hardy
AKA – FIERCE

Resilience is an important life skill that is not taught in school, or comes naturally.  It is only learned by walking through rough stuff.  Although, it would be helpful to teach children to look at the world honestly and not expect life to handed to them.

I had expectations that I would hit 2017 with fierce determination.  I am truly happiest when I am fiercely pursuing an idea.  My ambitions were to conquer fitness and weight loss, and had grandiose business dreams for Flown The Coop.    Reality was a healthy dose of adversity; physically, emotionally and with my business. The combination has given me a fresh lesson in resilience.

I am a “glass half full” type of girl who is currently working on the idea of happiness.  I’m learning to align my expectations with realty, an essential skill in withstanding or recovering quickly from difficult conditions.  I generally see life through a lens of possibilities and abundance.  The lesson is:  pray, do your best and let go of the outcomes.  I am not in control.

There are two ways I look at adversity.  I’m doing something right and am a target, or I’m doing something wrong and am being punished.  I chose to believe that I’m doing something right.  I didn’t come this far to fail now.  I am learning to dream big dreams and make exciting plans for the year, with the expectation that there will be bumps in the road.  It’s not healthy to avoid trials.

I’ve had plenty of time to analyze life while recovering from surgery.  It is encouraging to think there is a host of witnesses in the universe holding their breath; waiting for me to flip a switch, to embrace my life as it is and live in the flow.  They are cheering me on!

I’m not a quitter.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Philippians 3: 12

Trust In You by Lauren Daigle has become my anthem.

Yeah, I know most people don’t put their struggles on the Internet for the world to see.  My hope is that transparency will encourage you.  Life isn’t always what it appears to be on a polished Facebook or Instagram account.  Going for dreams and pursuing ideas is the sweet spot in life, full of promise and excitement.  Equally important are the seasons that stretch us and makes us stronger.  In 2017 I will be Fiercely Resilient, while I give myself permission to cultivate dreams with my expectations balanced in realty.

Your Word

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What is your word for 2017?  I’d love to hear about your goals, dreams, visions, and even setbacks. Let’s cheer each other on!  If you are faced with the decision to fall back or press on, I will hold my breath and cheer for you!

~Tiff

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!

Acquiescence

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~A reminder for me to surrender to the journey and trust.

Sentimental

While most people are busy dashing from one holiday event to another, I find myself curled up in our “empty” nest decorated for two and thinking about the journey.  This year had unexpected bends in the road.  I wonder what 2014 will bring?  It feels good to be still, enjoying our first Christmas tree at FTC headquarters and establishing new traditions for the two of us.

I am excited that Flown The Coop has settled into a nice routine of quality shows and feel blessed beyond measure with customers who have become friends this year!

Even though Jeff and I have “flown the coop”, we are grounded by our expanding family!  We are having fun planning our daughter’s wedding in 2014 and getting to know our son’s girlfriend and her son.

“If you aren’t in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back in pain and regret.”  Jim Carrey

I am determined to not allow the mountains Jeff and I had to climb this year wear me out.  Cancer, a stolen trailer and other various disappointments slowed me down a little.
Cherishing the relationships in my life and enjoying rest in December will rejuvenate me.

If I live the life I’m given, I won’t be afraid to die.  ~Avett Brothers

There is no way to predict which way the road will bend in 2014, the uncertainty is both scary and thrilling.  Life is a journey.

I’ve spent time researching trends, dreaming of projects to undertake and looking at what worked in 2013.  When it comes down to it, I know this journey is best traveled simply pursuing what I love.  I envision “Road Work Ahead” signs along the way.  And that’s ok.

I love being the author of my job description and pursuing new ways to connect with junque and the lovers of junque.  I love deep roots in family and strong friendships.

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I hope to be known as a person surrendered to LIVE the journey given me, despite the unexpected bends in the road.  I will reread this post mid year and see where I stand.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Hope your December is filled with the warmth of your relationships and traditions.  I also hope that 2014 will be the beginning of an excellent adventure!  Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.  Fly free!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!