Do you have swagger?

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach helping midlife women create swagger

You may be good at beating yourself up for eating the third piece of pizza or forgetting an important zoom call, but hardly ever give yourself credit for the twenty years you spent raising competent children who are now making their way in the world.  So, learning to possess swagger will take some practice.  

Fail Friday

I brought up bragging during my Fail Friday on May 7th.  I shared a three-step daily practice that includes bragging, gratitude and desire.  Focusing on the “trinity” thoughts daily will drastically improve your midlife wellness awakening.

First of all, I believe failure has an important place in your growth.  My weekly Facebook Live called Fail Friday is designed to highlight failure and give examples of people who use their failure as stepping stones to success.   

Sara Blakely is a great example of the importance of acknowledging failure.  Her Dad set her up to embrace failure by insisting on a nightly tradition of sharing failures at the dinner table.  

When it comes to failure, I definitely have swagger.  Unfortunately, it is rare that I’ll boast about a success.  Why is that? 

Focus

What ever your mind focuses on you will attract in your life.  It is easier to focus on problems to be solved than to celebrate a success.  So how do we switch our focus to swagger?

To redirect focus, stop yourself with the statement, “NOW I know what I don’t want.”  Then ask yourself, “What do I REALLY want?”  

For example, you notice that you really don’t like feeling out of control when you’ve had the third glass of wine.  The next morning you get up not feeling yourself and start beating yourself up for that third glass.  Stop beating yourself up and proclaim, “NOW I know what I don’t want.”  Then ask yourself, “What do I REALLY want?”  

The Swagger Practice

You may have more of what you don’t want stored in your subconscious.  You simply need to deposit more swagger into the story you rehearse in your mind.  

Dr. Northrup shares in her book Goddesses Never Age a daily practice of bragging, gratitude and desire  “I think it is fantastic for bringing perspective to your daily experiences and remembering how challenges set you up to more deeply appreciate blessings.  Doing this exercise will help you remember how important it is to enjoy life instead of getting through a To Do list.’

So SWAGGER!

  1. Think of something to brag about.  It doesn’t have to be earth shattering, just a thought you can be proud of.  You don’t have to share it publicly, but definitely record it in a journal to look back on.  
  2. Identify something you can be grateful for.  This is different from a brag.  What blessing in your life fills your heart with joy?
  3. What do you desire?  This should be out of reach.  If money or time were not an object, what would you want? 

I LOVE the idea off doing this daily activity with your wingwomen.  It will uplift your tribe and encourage swagger.

Swagger takes practice

You can attain a life your proud of and enjoy getting out of bed for.  If the idea of creating daily swagger is resonating with you, I’d love to help.  I can help you sort through the thoughts that are keeping you stuck.

I help midlife women figure out where they are and where they want to be.  

I am offering a FREE mini session for you to test drive a coaching session.  It’s a pain free way to see if coaching is for you!  

Click the link below and choose a date on the calendar!  It is that easy.  

~Tiffany

And the bird fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky.  

Tiffany Eckhardt, Certified Life Coach

Final 2019 message on failure

This is my final message on failure, for 2019. I’ve talked a lot about the fine art of failing. 

Failure is not taught in school.  Yet, all the successful people I’ve studied this year have harnessed the power of failing forward.  

Recognize YOUR script on failure.

  1. Can YOU agree?  
  • Life is 50/50 good & bad.  
  • Nothing worth having in life is handed to you.  
  • There is a lot you can learn from failure if you are curious.  
  • Failure can be good or bad.  You decide.

2. What is failure?

Failure is simply YOUR unmet expectations.  No one can define failure for you.   

2. How do you view failure?

  • Do you view it as something that happens to you from outside sources?
  • Do you view yourself as the failure, somehow broken and not capable?

Either approach to failure will not serve you!  YOUR approach to failure becomes a familiar story in your mind that will block any attempt to pursue greatness.  You are the captain of your own destiny.

For my recent Fail Friday Facebook Live, I shared Pema Chödrön’s book Fail. Fail Again. Fail Better.  Her wisdom can help flip the script on the olé familiar story.

  • View failures as portals of discovery, a chance to get creative and to learn something new.  
  • Be willing to feel a wide range of feelings when things don’t go the way you want them to.  {Rage, upset, sadness, loneliness}.  
  • Notice what you do in this space. Do you blame others?  Do you call yourself a failure? 

Get curious about your failure thoughts

Don’t believe all the stories that play on repeat in your mind, simply get curious about them.  Take time to ask yourself questions.

What is your inner dialog saying?  

How does the story impact your feelings?  

What actions do you take when you feel that way?  

What results are you getting from that space?  How is that working for you?

OK… enough talk about failure. Let’s Kick 2020 into gear by celebrating the 2019 successes.  

Success is defined as something that works out the way you expected it to. Focus on your 2019 successes and toot your own horn! 

Your homework, take a hot second to think good thoughts about yourself. Trust me it is fun!  

1. Make a list of ten successes you are proud of from 2019.  

  • Did you loose weight?  
  • Did you read the books you wanted to read?  
  • Did you travel?  
  • Did you buy that thing you’ve always wanted?  
  • Did you learn a language?  
  • Did you repair a relationship?
  • Did you start a business?
  • Did you reach a financial goal?
  • Did you get that raise?
  • Did you learn a new craft?  

Only YOU can determine what can be on that list.  

I firmly believe in the power of creating the life you want.  

What ever is on your list add the sentence “I created this.”  Friend, I promise you did something out of the ordinary to achieve that result.  

  • I lost twenty pounds and can wear that dress.  I created this.” 

2. Now imagine what you want to report on December 31, 2020.  

Take time to imagine yourself on December 31,2020.  Can you imagine how you will feel when you make your list of 2020 accomplishments at the end of next year? On the last day of 2020 what do you feel most proud of? What actions did you take? What results are you celebrating?

From this space, make your future list NOW.  Blow YOUR own mind in 2020!  Become the person of your dreams!

I am a product of the product.  

I spent nearly 50 years believing I was a failure, like there was something fundamentally wrong with me. I finally took hold of my thought life and am curious about my beliefs. I am proud of the person I am becoming.

I did the homework, and was blown away by my list of accomplishments in 2019.  Yes, I had unmet expectations.  I am not a failure. Failure doesn’t happen to me. I decide what it means in my life. I am free to recognize my own script and flip it!

Creating my 2019 list inspired me to create a list for 2020.  I’m excited to create the 2020 Tiff!  This is going to be the best decade of my life!

Let me help you create the life you want in 2020!  I will help you identify exactly where you are, where you want to go and the obstacles that will be in the way.  We’ll make a plan to hurdle any failure and celebrate all successes!  

I am offering coaching packages for 2020. Purchase a three month package before January 1, 2020 to receive a free copy of Pema Chödrön’s book Fail. Fail Again. Fail Better.  

Happy New Year!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing YES in the sky!