Final 2019 message on failure

This is my final message on failure, for 2019. I’ve talked a lot about the fine art of failing. 

Failure is not taught in school.  Yet, all the successful people I’ve studied this year have harnessed the power of failing forward.  

Recognize YOUR script on failure.

  1. Can YOU agree?  
  • Life is 50/50 good & bad.  
  • Nothing worth having in life is handed to you.  
  • There is a lot you can learn from failure if you are curious.  
  • Failure can be good or bad.  You decide.

2. What is failure?

Failure is simply YOUR unmet expectations.  No one can define failure for you.   

2. How do you view failure?

  • Do you view it as something that happens to you from outside sources?
  • Do you view yourself as the failure, somehow broken and not capable?

Either approach to failure will not serve you!  YOUR approach to failure becomes a familiar story in your mind that will block any attempt to pursue greatness.  You are the captain of your own destiny.

For my recent Fail Friday Facebook Live, I shared Pema Chödrön’s book Fail. Fail Again. Fail Better.  Her wisdom can help flip the script on the olé familiar story.

  • View failures as portals of discovery, a chance to get creative and to learn something new.  
  • Be willing to feel a wide range of feelings when things don’t go the way you want them to.  {Rage, upset, sadness, loneliness}.  
  • Notice what you do in this space. Do you blame others?  Do you call yourself a failure? 

Get curious about your failure thoughts

Don’t believe all the stories that play on repeat in your mind, simply get curious about them.  Take time to ask yourself questions.

What is your inner dialog saying?  

How does the story impact your feelings?  

What actions do you take when you feel that way?  

What results are you getting from that space?  How is that working for you?

OK… enough talk about failure. Let’s Kick 2020 into gear by celebrating the 2019 successes.  

Success is defined as something that works out the way you expected it to. Focus on your 2019 successes and toot your own horn! 

Your homework, take a hot second to think good thoughts about yourself. Trust me it is fun!  

1. Make a list of ten successes you are proud of from 2019.  

  • Did you loose weight?  
  • Did you read the books you wanted to read?  
  • Did you travel?  
  • Did you buy that thing you’ve always wanted?  
  • Did you learn a language?  
  • Did you repair a relationship?
  • Did you start a business?
  • Did you reach a financial goal?
  • Did you get that raise?
  • Did you learn a new craft?  

Only YOU can determine what can be on that list.  

I firmly believe in the power of creating the life you want.  

What ever is on your list add the sentence “I created this.”  Friend, I promise you did something out of the ordinary to achieve that result.  

  • I lost twenty pounds and can wear that dress.  I created this.” 

2. Now imagine what you want to report on December 31, 2020.  

Take time to imagine yourself on December 31,2020.  Can you imagine how you will feel when you make your list of 2020 accomplishments at the end of next year? On the last day of 2020 what do you feel most proud of? What actions did you take? What results are you celebrating?

From this space, make your future list NOW.  Blow YOUR own mind in 2020!  Become the person of your dreams!

I am a product of the product.  

I spent nearly 50 years believing I was a failure, like there was something fundamentally wrong with me. I finally took hold of my thought life and am curious about my beliefs. I am proud of the person I am becoming.

I did the homework, and was blown away by my list of accomplishments in 2019.  Yes, I had unmet expectations.  I am not a failure. Failure doesn’t happen to me. I decide what it means in my life. I am free to recognize my own script and flip it!

Creating my 2019 list inspired me to create a list for 2020.  I’m excited to create the 2020 Tiff!  This is going to be the best decade of my life!

Let me help you create the life you want in 2020!  I will help you identify exactly where you are, where you want to go and the obstacles that will be in the way.  We’ll make a plan to hurdle any failure and celebrate all successes!  

I am offering coaching packages for 2020. Purchase a three month package before January 1, 2020 to receive a free copy of Pema Chödrön’s book Fail. Fail Again. Fail Better.  

Happy New Year!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing YES in the sky!  

Is this luck?

Happy Thanksgiving Week!

I want to THANK YOU for supporting my journey!  I feel so lucky to have YOU along for the ride!  

2019 has been a year of tremendous growth for me.   This time last year I closed Flown The Coop the retail store… hard to believe!  Time is flying!  Since then I’ve devoted my time to learning.  I’ve listened to copious hours of podcasts.  I went to two Tony Robins events, one in LA and one in Vegas.  I’ve read more books than ever before.  My friend Dawn Gardner and I have been devouring personal development books together.  Our weekly call is one of the best blessings that developed from attending Tony Robbins events!  Finally, the biggest leap I took this year was enrolling in The Life Coach School.  It was a stretch worth taking!  I love the woman I am becoming!  

So is this what luck looks like?  

“Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity.” 

Are you setting yourself up for luck?  I believe you make your own luck.  I believe YOU can create the life you want.  I also believe that it is never too late or too early to set course on your own journey to become the person of your dreams.  

I’d love to help YOU create the life of your dreams with self awareness and intention.  Schedule a coaching session with me! I will listen to your ideas and help you discover what you really want.  You’ll develop a strategy to believe in the possibilities of your dreams.  Your first session if FREE!

Currently I am working with women who want to set up 2020 to be LUCKY!  

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing YES in the sky!

Got GRIT? Three Steps To Build GRIT

 

Got Grit? Tiffany Eckhardt shares the importance of choosing your feelings

Got Grit?  Yes, of course I Got Grit!

I like to think I possess a “never give up” attitude.  Yet, there are times when I bailed on my dream, have not persevered or had the passion to see a project through to the end.  I believe that I have the power to choose grit and can cultivate it.  In fact, I have the power to get back up from a failure and reinvent myself.  I have a lifetime of proof.

Let me share with you how to build GRIT!

Did you know you can choose your feelings?  

Let me share a concept that I’ve recently learned.

The human experience is a balance of the positive and the negative.   Accepting this fact allows for the negative without adding to it.  Time spent avoiding negative emotions and experiences, limits access to the power some negative emotions carry.  

For example, courage is an honorable trait that propels us to do hard things, but is an uncomfortable emotion.  The definition of Courage is – mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.  Wouldn’t it be great to be courageous in the face of obstacles without enduring fear or perseverance?  

Grit is failing forward

I have been talking about failing forward the past few weeks in an attempt to make failure more acceptable.  Failure is the uncomfortable balance to success and a necessary step in growth.  No one wants to choose failure.  Accepting it as a part of the success experience prevents adding shame, embarrassment, inadequacy, etc. to the experience.  

Once this concept is understood,  the choice is yours.  Will you intentionally think thoughts that produce the feelings required to succeed in life?  It’s worth noting that some emotions are simply negative indulgent emotions that keep us from success.  Choosing confusion, doubt or worry never moves the needle.  Choosing to walk through fear toward success is productive.  Choosing overwhelm in the face of fear keeps you stuck.  Do you see the difference?

I choose GRIT…

I have decided to become the person of my dreams.  Oh my!  2020 is going to be EPIC!  First of all, I turn 50 in March.  I don’t hate turning 50 years young.  It’s time to buckle down and do the things I’ve always dreamed of doing and being.

I made a list of emotions that I want to cultivate.  I want to be tenacious, capable, genuine, authentic, connected and creative.  

When I made the list of traits I think are important for my success, I realized that most of them have a negative connotation to them.  I want to be tenacious.  Well, that requires me to do something bold.  I want to feel capable.  Can’t feel capable sitting on the couch.  I want to be genuine and authentic, but desperately want to fit in.  I want to feel connected, but often find myself not inviting someone to coffee.  Being creative, a truly positive emotion, is my happy place.  

Recently I added gritty to my list of traits I want to be.  In fact, I am starting to see that GRIT needs to be my word for 2020.  I believe grit allows me to stay committed to the uncomfortable feelings necessary for success.  Being gritty means that I will have both passion and perseverance.

What is grit?

Grit as defined by Angela Duckworth is the power of passion and perseverance. 

“Our potential is one thing, what we do with it is another.” ~Angela Duckworth

Angela has spent her life studying grit.  You can read more about her journey in her book GRIT The Power of Passion and Perseverance or find her TedTalk on YouTube.  In her Preface she writes, “I won’t just have a job; I’ll have a calling.  I’ll challenge myself every day.  When I get knocked down, I’ll get back up.  I may not be the smartest person in the room, but I’ll strive to be the grittiest.”   

Wow!  Angela personifies grit!  The willingness to get back up from a blow, to work harder, to face fear, to embrace a calling… you get the idea.  Fail forward.  

Will Smith explains grit this way,

“The only thing that I see is distinctly different about me is: I’m not afraid to die on the treadmill.   I will not be outworked, period.  You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me.  You might be all those things.  You got it on me in nine categories.  But if we get on the treadmill together, there’s two things:  You’re getting off first, or I’m going to die.  It’s really that simple.”

Angela breaks grit down two factors, passion and perseverance.  “Grit is about working on something you care about so much you’re willing to stay loyal to it.”  There are no shortcuts.  It’s about falling in love with what you do and staying in love with it.  

Train your mind for grit

Three steps to build GRIT… choose your feelings

Can you see yourself choosing grit?  It is very similar to choosing to fail forward.    

I’m not suggesting that everyone should choose grit.

I am suggesting that being intentional about how you want to show up in life is crucial to your results.  I am offering that you have the power to choose.  

Start by deciding the feelings you want to foster and becoming self aware.

1.Choose the positive feelings and the negative feelings necessary to succeed in what ever you set your heart.  

2. Keep a log of the thoughts that generate those feelings.  There is always a thought that produces the feeling.  It is also beneficial to document the thoughts that keep you in a negative indulgent emotion like confusion, worry, or anxiety.  

Here is an example of mine:

Positive Feelings

  • Abundant
  • Connected
  • Loved
  • Focused
  • Determined

Negative Feelings

  • Courageous
  • Tenacious
  • Bold
  • Fear
  • Grit

3. Journal your thoughts and feelings on a daily basis.  Are the feelings wanted, necessary or unwanted?  What thoughts produce those feelings?  Are there areas in your life that you can choose to think differently about?  Try on new thoughts.  How does the new thoughts make you feel?  This simple activity will open up so much insight!

What do you choose?

Let me encourage you to become the person of your dreams.  You may not choose grit, but you have the power to be gritty in choosing the feelings that will produce the life you always wanted!  

I am excited to bring you along on my journey!  Becoming a certified life coach is the most rewarding work I’ve done!  I’d love to help you take hold of the thoughts, to help you decide what is servicing you.  Schedule a FREE consultation to see if I’m a right fit for your journey!  It really does help to talk through the thoughts that produce the feelings, that cause action and give results in your life!  

~Tiffany

And the birds fluttered around her writing “YES” in the sky!